Insomnia starts again

Talk about stress!!! This isn't good for my blood sugar. I FINALLY have a handle on eating well, my plan for life-long optimal health AND this. REALLY???!!! I sooo thought this was done. Part of me wants it and  the other part is freaking out big time. Nothing's happened so I need to quit. If this blows up in my face again I just have to deal with it. What the hell does this teach me anyway??? All it seems to do is end up making me feel like crap. Why does it have to be this way. I trust my father in heaven, I always have BUUUT this has never been a picnic. Isn't it supposed to be a picnic? Why don't I get to have that?

It's highly possible I am stressing out over nothing and I hope that's what it is and this impending doom/anxiety crap goes away. Doesn't the spirit have a calming peaceful feeling? Why isn't that happening? By their fruit you should know them. The fruit is good. But then why does this feel toxic? I pray for strength that I can deal well with whatever I have to face. Is my adrenaline supposed to be revved up like this? I don't think so. I need the spirit badly. I can't afford to do anything to chase it away.

Moroni 1

 2 For behold, their ^awars are exceedingly fierce among themselves; and because of their ^bhatred they ^cput to death every Nephite that will not deny the Christ.

 3 And I, Moroni, will not ^adeny the Christ; wherefore, I wander whithersoever I can for the safety of mine own life.

My life is not threatened for my testimony but I can still deny Christ by not acting in accordance with his example and teachings.