Urban Poly Princess

Early this morning as in 3am, that's when I tend to do any thinking, I thought a lot about how I needed I study my scriptures more intently along with the recent conference. I have never been more sure of the gospel before in my life. This past year has been hell. I am grateful I found out about my record and that I've been able to expunge my record BUUUT I am also a little concerned that my Father in Heaven let me flounder as much as I did. It hasn't been easy for my mother to support me. I should be supporting her now.

I am so blessed but I still feel weary and beaten and I REALLY don't get what I was supposed to learn from that experience from Hell FOR SO FREAKING LONG. I have my dream job EXCEPT the pay. My library looks amazing and I can't wait to make it as great as I know it can become. Today I started work at 7am and it was fine. I told my boss I am going to work at 6am Thursday which is when he begins. He doesn't care as long as I work under 40 hours and do what I need to do. I'm changing my temple shift to Thursday night for my real estate venture AND because I am going to make the concerted effort to get to know, date AND marry someone and I am going to attend all the mid single activities I can as soon as I get a chance.

This is my last year or actually less than a year that I have. I will turn 46 in September and I don't plan on being like all these other people I know who keep attending even when they've aged out. Maybe I'll move to Layton when that happens so I don't have to attend a Rose Park Ward.

It is easy to read the scriptures and counsel from our leaders daily. That and prayer is how we can all draw closer to Him each day. It has never been more clear or obvious. I've thought about my friend actually falling away from the church. From what I know of him it doesn't seem possible BUT many of the elite have fallen and lost their blessings. I NEVER want that to happen to me EVER BUT if I keep feeling cheated and forgotten and instead forget what brings me lasting and then even happiness right away I know I and anyone can end up in that position.

Heavenly Father loves me and keeps blessing me. I know the challenges made me better although I know for sure I never would've chosen them. I can't wait to get through this week, feel better physically then devote myself to Zumba again along with eating healthily. I love my library and my new office. I can't wait to decorate. I am so happy I'm the Director. I love my job. I want to exceed expectations AND rock real estate too. Life is filled with opportunity. I am grateful.

I wish I could be as great as I know I can be. I know perfection is a process. I just wish it didn't require what it did sometime.