Urban Poly Princess

I'm not sure why I was tripping. I miss Steve BUT he hasn't done anything wrong. It is just the idea of having to find someone AGAIN that annoys the hell out of me. I hope he really is interested in someone else and that he takes steps to get to know her better and get married. I hope he doesn't get too comfortable in his single life like I think he is doing. I don't know him well enough to be as upset as I got last night.

I still remember the first time when our ward did sealings and I was paired with Steve and I felt NOTHING. I hated that because I knew how great he is spiritually. I both love and hate the role the spirit has played in my social life. It REALLY liked annoying and it was off the charts all over the place to support him. Despite that Steve is attractive, mature AND spiritually solid. He's even a year older than me which I looove. Instead the immature boy is who the spirit supports.

I did actually ask about Steve. My answer was I could date him BUUUT I couldn't marry him. So what the hell is my problem? Why is the best guy I've ever met in ALL areas not for me and someone else who drives me batty was someone I was led so strongly and distinctly to?

Nothing's changed. I still live in the easiest city to meet someone else who is LDS and has the qualities I am looking for. I have so much to be grateful for. My social life sucks but all the tools for it not to suck are well within my reach.

I am trying to get an assistant position for a condo company. It is frustrating. When I first spoke to the lady on the phone she pulled up someone else's file. When she finally pulled up mine her tone changed. I hope I am still selected. I need a damn job asap.