Urban Poly Princess

I think I'm going to do it. I want my schedule changed so I can do this. Ati did this challenge and she and some of the other participants look amazing. EMZ is my cardio I love, now to start weight-training and return to eating clean all the time. ACTUALLY what works for me is a cheat day a week BUUUT just once a week. I love Zumba very much and I am very grateful for it but I need to reach my fitness goals already. I love that my sister-in-law is a Zumba queen and that Geoge goes to Zumba often and lifts with his wife. Eventually I want to be as good as Celia, Sela and Ati. Ati looks incredible.

If the church was ever important to her I get the feeling we would've been close friends because we enjoy many of the same things. She has a beautiful family and just finished her MBA. She is amazing. Total superwoman type I hope to be like. She is just missing the gospel in her life. Celia is the bomb diggity AND she's got the spiritual on lock too. Mother of 3 and she just placed in a bodybuilding competition she finished her MSW with 2 kids. Her husband is Samoan something from Hauula my hometown. He is an RM and gorgeous but so is Celia. In my opinion he got the better deal. Celia's mom is Maori/Tongan and her dad is Tongan. Celia's family is incredible too. She was raised by the best it is no wonder she turned out how she did.

She served a mission too. She is younger than me. Sela is an RM but I think she's divorced. I'm not sure what happened. But she is pulling strong. She's always looked amazing but since she started bodybuilding she took it to another level. She and Celia are in the same body-building Poly group. I want to get on their level. But first to start weights and do these regularly combined with clean eating.

I never thought I'd know so many amazing Poly women. Celia is the most impressive. I love how they are all fulfilling their physical goals. I like how Celia is intelligent, gorgeous AND spiritual. That has always been my goal. To excel in ALL areas of my life.

I want my schedule to change so I can actually see me reaching my best physical self in the next 3 months. I have my Zumba and cardio on lock. Just to add my weight-training and healthy eating AND I'n NOT doing anything like Purium or Yoli. It will be my lifestyle. This will help me in all areas of my life. I am psyched to do this now. There are endless opportunities we enjoy. We are so lucky.

Now I am trying to write on this thing since I am trying to pass time too. The calls are dead right now. It won't let me write anything in the regular place. There is always a work-around. I am more excited about my job now that I have my real estate thing to look forward to working. I asked my lead today when it would be possible to change my schedule. He told me to ask now. I tried for 9-6pm. That would allow me to miss the annoying traffic but still allow me to be here at a normal hour and more importantly finish at a normal hour so I can attend my FHE, temple nights and other activities. I am looking forward to this, especially if they can change my schedule.40 minutes left. I need to put gas. The low gas indicator light came on right before I turned into the driveway at work.

I am glad I saw Carlos Sunday and that he laughed when I told him I'm working at a medical billing call center. It inspired me and now I am focused on saving for my real estate fees after which I will then go part time. I just took my mother to the Madsen clinic. Her blood pressure was too high and she felt pain in her heart. Freaky. I told her she needs to call me back and let me know how she's doing and what's going on.

I'm glad I saw Carlos when I did. This is NOOOT where I can work and feel happy still. I have to do the real estate thing as soon as possible. I am not giving up on my library career although I am still pursuing real estate as hard as I want to do that. I hope my mother's alright. I want her to live a long and happy life. I am not ready for that although it is a reality. Her mind is all there which I am happy about. I just hope she's alright. I need to get ready for work.

My dad left with his mind intact. When I was recovering from my brain injury I remember specifically pleading with my father in heaven not to let anything happen to me mentally. I can't really think of anything more horrible. Brain fog when I'm sleepy, when I'd try to do simple math at my graveyard shift at the Christmas Box House and I'd keep getting distracted - also that one time when my hormones around my period and I felt like attacking people. The brain is so powerful and susceptible too. Chemical stuff is real.

As far as brokers are concerned I think Keller Williams has the best training program available.

I now see my job as a means to a happy end instead of the drudgery I once thought it represented. I have to make my circumstances I want. No one is going to hand me what I hope for. I don't mind having to work hard. I am grateful for the chance.

That time of the month is ever present and while I'm glad I didn't have to deal with it in the temple Saturday it still sucks and provided me with the perfect opportunity and excuse NOOOT to attend the Mid-singles trifecta thing. I don't know what the hell my problem is. I finally have a free day to do some mingling and I'm looking for any excuse not to do that. It is actually fun to get to know other people. I really am an ambivert. I enjoy people and being outgoing BUUUT sometimes I just want my space and I want to be left alone.

I went to Costco and it is closed for the holiday. That ticked me off so I went to Trader Joe's because I always hear about it and how expensive it is. I was surprised to learn it isn't!!! That was a nice surprise. I bought a giant chocolate bar there, wasabi peas, a giant candy bar or belgium chocolate for just 5.99, avocados, cherry tomatoes and a huge eggplant. I went to sprouts after that because they have cherries on sale for 1.99 a pound, a couple of blackberry boxes that were just .99 a box, some macadamia nut white chocolate chip cookies and my favorite boulder coconut oil fried chips.

I thought I'd want to sleep after Zumba today but I didn't want to do that.

I bought generic moisturizing lotion instead of fake cetaphil for my face once and decided to just use it a month and see what happened. My skin looked fantastic so now I'm never going back. I haven't broken out since and it is gentler on my skin.

I don't feel good about any aspect of my life right now although Heavenly Father continues to bless me beyond belief. I am grateful for the gospel and for the chance to always improve myself, to repent and to get better. Sometimes I think it's not worth it but before I can finish that thought I know it is so worth it and I know how much I've been blessed and continue to be blessed. It may not seem like it but I really am trying to meet someone. I sure as hell aren't doing anything visible although that is where my goal is and where I need to focus my efforts. It is so easy to just do nothing. At the very least and I feel like my effort is the very least unfortunately, I have the desire to want to have that in my life. I don't know why I treat it so lightly. I know it is the most important thing in this world or even out of this world.

I have to continue to strive for what I want. We learned about how some prophet learned he would have a child and how he was old and his wife was old and he didn't have the faith required for this to come about. I have so much faith. I don't know why it is so difficult for me to just find someone I can stand enough to want to spend eternity with them. The one thing I like about annoying is I never had any doubt he is who Heavenly Father wanted me with. I want to feel that again because I don't trust myself or my judgment. Wouldn't I be married already if I knew how to choose that well?

I need to pray to do what I know I need to do to meet people and then I need to pray that I recognize people I can be happy with. It is a righteous desire. I want to feel something strongly for someone. I did like Steve but I can't help but feel like I tried to force that until I actually believed that. I think I would've been happy with him. Can't any two righteous people find happiness together if they have the same goals?

I saw Shem when I went to Sprouts. He is sweet. Ever since he posted on his Facebook page that he attends mass and considers himself 40% Catholic I was immediately turned off. NO I don't think I could ever be happy with someone who feels that way although he is kind, brilliant and fun. YES AND he's half Chinese. He was raised in Ogden however. Living in Logan means I don't want anyone in the North. And there I go again. I know exactly what I don't want.

I can't handle the schedule I created for myself. I work from 11:30-8pm M-F. That leaves no time for anything else. I can't live my life like this much longer. My job is fine if I had never had a librarian job which is what I want to spend my time doing. I am grateful to have money to pay my expenses. I am not staying here very long however. The hours leave me with nothing else. The temple early Saturdays just makes it worse.

I need to hurry up and find someone to date and marry. There are so many activities for mid-singles here in SLC. My mother told me she prayed about it and she feels I should leave to work somewhere else and also that's where I'll find my husband. Nice but YEAH NOOO!!! I prayed about it too and Heavenly Father is fine with wherever I choose to live.

Yesterday church was fine. There was the fine white boy who walked by so of course I went out of my way to meet him. I don't like the way he dresses. He was standing near me by himself at our linger activity so I said hi to him. His name is Ben White and he's from Hawaii. He went to Moanalua High School on the other side of the island. He is attending LDSBC studying Accounting. NOOO I don't think so. He is fine but he dresses bad AND he is old enough to be in my ward but still at a JR college.

I met with my home teachers next so I didn't really talk to him. I can't attend FHE, temple night or ANYTHING and it's driving me crazy. I am really good about attending zumba but I've been eating crap. I need to hit up Costco and buy some food today. We had a midsingles trifecta activity I am going to make the effort to attend. They are watching the Avengers in Sugarhouse. I love that because it is close. Dinner at Chili's downtown and then Poltergeist. I don't really like Poltergeist BUUUT I sooo need to be social especially with the schedule I've been keeping.

I saw Carlos Sunday. He made me think of real estate. I am going to pay those fees and get started on that asap. That's when I'll go to part time. I actually want to complete the 3 mos with the temp agency so I can feel good about that. Getting hired on with Sutter will have to be part time or nothing. It'll be alright and I can do this. If I just think of it as a temporary situation to get to do real estate the way I want to freeing up my schedule and allowing me to pursue my fitness love more and to get hired as a librarian making a decent salary.

I am so blessed and I have to remain positive even when it is difficult. I need to hit up Costco. We are celebrating Memorial Day next week with George and his family in Provo. I love them so much. I want my own children of course but I am so grateful to have his. They are so much fun and I love them so much.

My busy week caught up with me today. I was completely drained. I couldn't bring myself to attend choir practice before church. During sacrament meeting I kept falling asleep. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I didn't want to start drooling so I left after or rather during the choir number. I came home, made myself a vegetarian pizza, ate the whole thing and I'm going to sleep after this.

Now to do that.

I went to Zumba in the morning then I took a shower and caught Trax to the airport to catch my flight to Cedar City where I would pick up my rent-a-car then drive to St. George for the conference. INSTEAD I was rushing through the airport because Trax stops at the East end of the airport and Delta flys at the West. I racewalked through the terminals AND security and I kept looking at the time along the way. My flight was at 8:20 and I got there at 8:18. When I FINALLY got to the gate the lady said the plane left and that written into my contract to fly is something about how they can bump you off the flight if you're not there 15 minutes early. I had tried so hard to get there and I just lost it and sat to the side crying. When I calmed down I asked what time the next flight to Cedar City was and she said 5pm -OH HELL NO!!! INSTEAD I asked what time they flew to St. George and it was in an hour. They let me on that flight AFTER I paid an extra $50.

I get to St. George and Enterprise who my reservation is with doesn't have any cars there. Neither does some other place at the dinky little airport. FINALLY Avis has a mini-van she'll let me drop off in Cedar City for just $40. I drive to the city, get lost several times in my minivan BUUUT still manage to go to Kmart so I can buy makeup to fix the face my crying messed up AND find the Hawaiian Poke store where I do some damage. Keli calls me and tells me he is still in Arizona. I am sad but it's o.k. - he has a family to support after all. I find my presentation after waiting in the wrong room. I see Wanda there and say hello to her but she treats me like I have the plague. REALLY???!!! Many librarians seem to treat me like I have the plague now it seems. BUUUT the people who really matter to me don't and that's all I really care about.

Well no that's not true. I want a librarian job asap.

I go to Jack-in-the-box which I haven't been to since Hawaii. I want my chicken caesar sandwich BUUUT they don't have it although they do have the oreo shake I looove. Not having Jack-in-the-box here really isn't a loss. I drive to Cedar City in Torrential rain that came from somewhere and it stops when I get there. I find the airport easily after asking people. The Cedar City airport looks EXACTLY like the one in St. George. I get back in less time than it took me to drive to Cedar City.

I went to a Bollywood party tonight my friend Cindy from my ward threw. It was very nice. BUUUT it took me forever to find her apartment. She lives in a huge complex I thought I could just walk to IN THE DAMN RAIN!!! Although I wore my jacket with the hoodie, the water went through my clothes AND my bag. Cindy tells us they tow cars from her parking lot and I should move BUUUT NOOO!!! I rested there. One of the guys went to move his car. Eventually I left because I was wet and cold and I didn't want to deal with a towed car either although I doubt with the rain anyone is towing anyone. It was actually good because I went and got my tithing AND I went to Smith's and bought some flour. I think I've perfected my pizza-making ability and it tastes better too.

The temple was fun today. I saw one of the Stevens-Henager College teachers when I worked the cloak room where the women put on socks and the men just wear their own. I also saw Sione Fehoko from my high school. He got fat. Funny, he was known for his great body and overall handsome self. I also worked name issue today as well as prayer roll. We had 30 weddings on our shift and the next one had 49. For the first time I saw chaos in the weddings. The cloak room is a madhouse with wedding guests putting on socks, finding a place to store their shoes and then guests coming back from a sealing. they need to do something there although I'm not sure exactly what. I should change out of my damp clothes. It probably doesn't help that I'm chomping on ice.

I didn't write my niece yet but I will. I want to send her something this week. She looks beautiful in the skype picture Noelani posted. Actually she looks like her younger sister Tatiana in her picture. I am grateful George and Alisa have a missionary daughter so they can be constantly reminded of what is important. I miss all of my nieces and nephews. We need to plan to do something with them soon. Mom AND Alisa's birthdays are on the 27th. Perhaps we can figure something out then.

I need to go and get my new debit card. I can't believe I lost it yesterday. I have an idea. I am going to buy my ticket now and rent my car Thursday when I get into St. George. I will make my balance go negative if my money isn't there yet but if it is then I won't have to worry PLUS I'll be able to save the extra $40 it'll cost me to make my account negative.

Yesterday I went to Noe's house to help her celebrate Mother's day. All the kids meaning all of Mele's kids AND all of Noe's children were there as they should be. Nani wasn't there just because she's still in Hawaii. Neither was Nate. I didn't have the time to figure out where he was. I love seeing my nephews all grown up. Nakita was there with her husband Chase. Mosa was there with his wife Neely. He is working and bought a townhouse with his wife in Provo. That is awesome! I looove that. Matt is at BYU finishing a PolySci degree. He wants to eventually attend Law School. JR had to work last night at the Provo Verizon where he does sales. He just graduated with his degree in Spanish. I think he wants to get a degree in accounting however. Mosa wants to do the same thing. I love Mosa and Neely's marriage and life the best.

I am still so grateful my friend suggested I fly to Cedar City. I am grateful I get to be there to present at ULA even if I'm not attending and my membership lapsed. I am grateful to have a job that allows me to do that even if it isn't a library job.

Thee lift me and I'll lift thee and we'll ascend together - Linda K. Burton - General Relief Society President

I just listened to 3 Nephi 11 while I put on my make-up. The church makes it so easy for us to get what we need. I am so fortunate to live now during a time when this is available. I need to find someone who will get along with my nephews. He needs to especially get along with my brother.

Noke got a job in Hawaii and he is making over 40,000. He manages a coffee shop in Sunset near the Foodland there. It is a total surfer town. For someone out of high school who isn't paying rent right now that is sweet. I was surprised to see his boyfriend Chris there last night. He is Samoan not Tongan like I first supposed. I wonder if his family cut him off for his lifestyle. He is tall and very good-looking. Sione is named after my dad. He went to St. George and it is actually why I called Noe in the first place. I wanted to see Sione when I go there Thursday but he actually lives in a new apartment complex that backs up to my mother's house. He lives with his girlfriend Courtney who he brought to uncle Kingi's funeral and also to Noe's house last night. None is working with his dad now. I'm not sure what Courtney does. I need to figure out a way to fellowship them and get my nephew back to church.

None was the baby when my cousin Mele passed. Noke and None didn't have their mother the longest. Nakita got married in the temple and JR and Mosa both served missions. Sarat hasn't been active since Mele died. My cousin Noe is amazing. She moved to Utah specifically to be her for Mele's kids and she has. My mother doesn't want me to visit None when I told her he just lived right here. She thinks it makes it seem like I approve of his lifestyle NOOO it means I love him DESPITE how he chooses to live his life now.

I am sooo happy Darren wrote what he did on my post. Ceder City is supposedly just minutes away from St. George. Flights are significantly cheaper and most are direct an hour or under an hour plane rides. JUST what I want and JUST what I like. I am grateful I didn't say anything and I'm grateful there is a way to do that. I was going to pay it with my debit card but I decided to go get my tithing first. I lost my card now so I'll just get a new one tomorrow. Work doesn't start until 11 so I have time to figure it out tomorrow. I don't think I was supposed to pay my tithing yet and there may be another fee reduction later next week. I think the closer to the day I am it might be reduced.

I was just thinking Milika is serving at the St. George temple. I need to swing by there and take pictures with her. I am so excited and happy I can do this now and it's not going to cost me an arm and a leg. I wonder if Keli's ever flown to Cedar instead of St. George. I did a google inquiry and it says St. George is 49 minutes from Cedar City so it is about an hour. Flights are significantly cheaper. I can't wait to do this now.

I am so glad I didn't give up looking. I am going to need a car anyway and this is perfect. My stint at ULA isn't going to take very long. After or before that I'll hang out with Keli and go and see my niece Milika at the St. George visitor's center. She reminds me so much of Nata. They were BFFs, cousins and now are both vc sisters. Nata's at the DC temple. I am so proud of her. She skyped her family today. Noe posted a picture of the tv monitors with her on them.

It is mother's day and I planned to stay home with my mom today but she told me to go to church so I did. I gave Darren Nutella because I know he loves that stuff as much as I do and I am so grateful to him for suggesting I fly to CDC. I didn't even know Cedar City had an airport. I am definitely checking out the Shakespeare festival now. Maybe even this year in the summer. Sooo cool!!!

I'm not sure if I'll get there although when I wrote my cancellation email last night I felt like I shouldn't send it so who knows. I applied for a reference librarian position with the State Law Library and then also a children's librarian position with the county. I still feel like it's extremely important for me to attend ULA but I didn't expect the airfare to be so much. When I did an initial search I came up with around the $200 range. Wishful thinking I suppose.

George is poking around. I hope he finds something. The temple was so busy like it always is. I worked with 5 brides today. There was a big Tongan wedding there but I didn't stick around for that. I missed an lunch-date with Veronica again today. I felt so bad but I fell asleep.

I tried to book my flight to St. George and the Cheapest I'm finding is over $400. NOOO that is not worth it to me just to present at ULA. I am grateful for all the opportunities I've had to present already through the Intellectual Freedom Committee. I haaate being tied to a desk. I am so grateful to have a job that isn't entirely unpleasant.

I was about to email CVLA and tell them to count me out but reading the flyer about our portion of the program made me want to do it even more. Keli just responded to me and he said Skywest is the cheapest. Actually Sinia's sister works for skywest. I wonder if she can get me a deal.

Must sleep for my temple shift.

As call centers go this is a super place to work filled with nice facilities and people. I would love to work here if I was still an undergraduate. HOWEVER, it's been awhile and after having such a great interview with Jennifer St. Clair at the Church History Library it is difficult for me to process that I didn't even get a second interview. Before it was over she asked me if I had time to see the area her team works in so she showed me the reading room where patrons go to look at items in special collections. She also showed me the general reference area where the librarians serve the patrons.

What I really like is it offers the chance to become a church history subject expert. I would looove the chance to become a Church history in the Pacific subject expert writing articles and books would be amazing and something I would looove!!!

I received 2 rejection emails earlier today. One from the County saying they weren't going to proceed with consideration of my application for the West Jordan Assistant manager and another from the Church History Library saying they weren't going to continue to consider me for the position either. Needless to say I was disappointed. I cried a little but not much. I am reminded completely of how tough it was for me to even get a librarian job in the first place. It makes me want to pursue real estate even harder and continue to apply for the librarian job I actually want.

I am so sad and mad and devastated but life continues as I must continue to try and apply and figure out a way to maintain my librarian skills without actually working in a library.

Jennifer St. Clair is very cool and I would love to work there. It is a job I'd keep forever unless I moved anywhere. I am confident it pays well. I love the work environment she described to me. They do youth conferences and help professors and a few students do research. There are also subject specialists. The possibilities were sweet when she shared them with me. I asked her about Dave Staheli who told me he worked at the LDS History Library. She told me very bluntly that he was an intern and did not work there. He should be very careful about sharing that when it isn't true. I love what Jennifer told me about the opportunities available to work at the library AND be active in ULA, ALA and the Mormon Historical Society. She edits the Mormon Historical Society's publication. That is sooo cool!!! I like that she seems fairly young too. She isn't the stereotypical librarian and I really like that.

This job would be perfection. It is sooo close to my mother's house. I always wanted a job that would let me interact with people. I want a job that pays decently AND allows me to become a subject expert for the church. The church seems to be much more transparent now. I love it. I love that half of the church history library employees are members of the Mormon History Association. I would love to be the Pacific Islander expert there.

The idea of being paid to develop my interests, to write about what I love and then even write for the church is amazing. I felt very good about my interview and they are looking for 2 people. I could sooo grow with a position there. While it's not the community or public library work I hoped to do, it is something even cooler.

I was trying to find some sort of graduation list online because I wanted to know if Annoying finished school this weekend. Doug just graduated from USU and he has pictures posted. The graduate schools may have their own ceremonies. This German girl who used to be in my Logan ward is one of my Facebook friends and she posted a graduation picture of herself. I wonder what he'll do if he's done and where he'll work. I'm not excited about meeting anyone new although I am well aware of the many activities for Mid-singles all over the place in Salt Lake City. Tonight is dinner groups in my ward and I just didn't want to go. I filled my gas at Costco yesterday after my temple shift.

I didn't feel like socializing just yet. This Samoan girl in my ward bore her testimony. She just finished her MSW at the U. She started with a big Aloha. I told her I was from Hawaii. She gave me a kiss then she told me she remembers me from BYU-Hawaii and that she used to work at the Aloha Center. I hate it when people recognize or remember me when I don't have the slightest clue who they are.

This Tongan girl Moe I'm pretty sure used to be in my ward. I know she's aged out because I'm pretty sure she's 2 years older than me and I'll age out a year from September. I think she is part of the group that continue to socialize with mid singles even when she's already 46 or even older. She was always a little strange HOWEVER now she has reached a new height of strangeness. In Sunday school people can be talking about something completely different and she will chime in with a quote by some apostle that has nothing to do with what anyone is discussing.

Once I saw her in the temple cafeteria talking to one of the other single girls on my old Wednesday night shift. She kept talking to my friend Maggie about her own thing, quoting various apostles but really talking to herself because she seemed to just want to hear herself talking. Maggie just nodded and smiled, laughed and either agreed with her or not. I sat with them at first because I always sit with Maggie but when I saw no one else could get a word in, I left to sit with someone else. The couple times she spoke the Sunday school teacher ignored what she said but thanked her each time. We were ALL trying to ignore what she would say because she never said anything.

Even when I have more money Friday and don't feel uncomfortable about attending these Mid-singles activities all over the place I am going to do that with wisdom. I don't want to have to expend the energy to try to get to know someone new all over again. I was interested in Steve very gradually and I also had to force myself to even do that. I wanted to get to know annoying. He is the only one who stopped that. Steve tried really hard but when I started to get to know him better he disappeared.

Annoying is definitely not as smooth as Steve BUT I am confident in his spiritual state. He wants to live like Christ despite his shortcomings. It is that desire I like most. His temper is just as bad as mine. I like Curtis' chill attitude best. I need to stop dwelling on that. I am still not interested in living in Cache Valley for the rest of my life despite how great he is and how rare it is to find someone so physically attractive that is also a spiritual gem.

Annoying can be feisty but maybe that's what I need. I can't believe I'm entertaining thoughts about him again. Someone like Steve will be fine. I don't like how he's questioning the Supreme Court justices and how influential they can be. Not for the question but he studied this in graduate school. I was getting an MPA from the U when I stopped because I didn't like the 2 law courses I took. He works in local government in addition to having his MPA. How can he NOT get all that. He seems intelligent.

I know annoying will be a good provider BUUUT I have a bad feeling he is a workaholic like my brother. Steve has the time to devote to a family if he ever wants to do that. I really hope he starts dating someone. He is such a good person and he will be an excellent father and husband to some lucky girl.

STILL although I want to just even be cordial to annoying I still don't just want to be his friend and it is still better not to interact with him at all if nothing is ever going to happen between us so I think I need to get on that activity-train asap. All those men out there I haven't even met. This job is not conducive to a social life. I hope I get that church history library job!!!

I looove working Saturdays!!! Although I left the house at 4:48 I STIL got there at 4:52 when I proceeded to rush and change then slide into prayer meeting. I got there and waited just outside the door with some other late woman while the prayer was being said so I got there for most of the announcements. The brides are a total workout. Initiatories is of course BUUUT I don't need to think as much when I perform them now. I saw my RS president Domoina there. It was neat to perform them for her. There were so many Polys like last Saturday. I worked in the brides room and I took 5 different brides to the 3rd floor. It was fun seeing them. They were all so beautiful and they each came with their choked up mothers. EXCEPT for one girl from Fiji who looked more Indian although she had a Fijian name. She came with her mother-in-law. She met her husband at BYU-Hawaii. I gave her a hug and she kissed me when I left her up there.

She was happy to have a Poly sister there to help her out. I just kept seeing Polys all over the place. I love that they are temple-goers. I worked the last veil and the workers were so noisy it didn't feel like I was in the temple I tried to say something but it didn't make a difference and people kept being noisy. Maybe they have too many workers scheduled there then. Whatever it is it needs to change because it completely distracts from the spirit.

I went to Smith's when that was done and bought a bunch of different things. We're going to have something set up so when can pay tithing electronically. I'm tired but not like I used to be in Logan. I wonder what's the difference. I don't feel like I need a nap. It is so hot and I want to buy something just because I'm hot. Shave ice or ice-cream. Mom has frozen bananas but I don't feel like making them into the frozen desert. I wonder why. I need to take out cash so I can pay my tithing. I already put gas in my car and used my $16 cash I had on me to buy some food. I should buy a little more. I am happy I'll have more time in the morning to get to work but the finish time isn't going to allow me to do anything else except for the weekends. I need to change that real quick. I hope I get this job.

I neeed a library job I haaate working for an hourly wage. All I can do is keep trying. It happened before and it'll happen again. I just wish it would hurry up.

They called and rescheduled my phone interview for 8am Monday. This would've been a phone interview but after lunch today Sutter decided to keep us at the Legacy building for the 3rd week of training when we'll be on the floor or Monday. I'm excited to interview and ALSO to begin working the phones. I got paid $430.00 today which is totally fine for minimum survival BUUUT is NOOOT worth me spending the amount of time I'm going to have to spend JUST to make that measly amount of money. I need to be grateful however ANNND I am it just SUUUCKSSSS!!! I am going to change to part time fairly quickly. I have to at least prove myself and show how competent I am. I want to work part time from home and I know if I prove my competence they will give me the world to accommodate me.

This really is a great company for me to work for BUUUT it isn't worth it for me to spend such a huge chunk of my time. I'm hungry but I'm not really sure what I want to eat. There's a Mid-singles dance at our chapel. It is regional and the New Years dance was great AND it was regional. I think I should wait and save my money. I haven't figured out my tithing yet and since my account was negative I only have 100 left in my account. I have to take tithing out of that and then the Zumba fitness challenge is $25. That means I can't afford to waste $10 on a dance. Sunday is also fast Sunday.

I'm going to eat stuff I can make here at home. I do get paid every week which is nice. I am working from 10 to 7 next week. I love that.

Time to cook some saimin. Wow! I really am over Steve. I still wonder about annoying. Maybe it's because I got to know him better and spent more time with him. Very strange. Also I had to convince myself to go there in the first place. His testimony and commitment to the gospel are exactly how I want them to be however. He was definitely worth me trying even if I had to force myself to do that. I will definitely do that for someone righteous even if at first they don't fit my typical type.