Urban Poly Princess

I went to a job preview I was invited to by Wadell and Reed. Like I suspected they are a firm of brokers/financial planners which I DON'T want to do. I enjoyed the Keller Williams/William Bustos people I spoke to today. I was so scared this morning to attend the Ilead conference thing at the State library. I was so scared to talk to Donna Jones Morris but it went really well and then she even had me talk to the City library director since I told her I just interviewed for a Children's Librarian position there.

In my perfect world I'd get the Children's position AND also get enough money to work full time at Keller Williams/ William Bustos. Someone from SirsiDynix looked at my profile today.

I decided I need to talk to Donna Jones Morris. I want her to know how I just found out about my record. There is a library event she invited everyone to attend tomorrow at the state library. I am nervous about talking to her but I really want to work for the state someday.

I have an interview with Roseman University Tuesday. It is a phone interview. I don't want the job. Tomorrow I also have the interview with Wadell Reed to be a financial advisor. I don't really want to do that although there are worse ways to make money.

At least the Roseman position is a librarian job BUT after going through unemployment hell I want real estate because eventually I want enough money generated through that so I have income properties and I NEVER EVER want to worry about how I'm going to pay a bill again.

At least the criminal mischief is DONE!!! They called me and I went there and delivered a copy to the Midvale Police station. I hope that also means I get that Children's Librarian position I interviewed for last Thursday. I went to the ilead celebration at the City Library. I saw Trevor from library school. He told me I look the same. He reminded me that was 7 years ago. I'm trying to forget that. It was very sweet of him. I also saw Sean, the other Cache Valley Library Association peeps, Tina from the county and then also Trish from the County. I saw Wanda but I didn't say hi to her. Trish is as sweet as she always is and I was able to tell her and a couple other people how I just found out about my record.

I am glad I went. I didn't say hi to Wanda just because I feel like she talks about me even if she doesn't. I didn't engage the state librarian either Donna Jones Morris. I saw Sarah who interviewed me at LDS Business College. I was nice to her. She was uncomfortable. She's the one who didn't hire me. Give me a damn break!!!

CareerBuilder is such that I'm getting contacted by people all over the place. I want to do real estate BUUUT there is another interview I decided to do with some guy who advises people financially. He suggests I can make over $200,000 a year which is very attractive to me. I feel like being in AJS has opened the employment doors wide. I am very grateful for that.

I did a practice interview with Elder Gilchrist. He is notorious at our professional networking meeting. He gave me incredible suggestions I'm going to try to incorporate before my next round of interviews. I am hungry and I'm going home.

I had a lot of fun last night. Steve looked great as one of the incredibles. I couldn't pass up that opportunity. I had to post on his page that he was incredible last night. I forgot to get a picture with him. The DJ was great in the beginning then he progressively got worse. Steve is so sweet. The more I get to know him however the more I realize how little we share in common. He told me he likes ballroom and country music. I love ballroom but hell to the no on country music.

It was nice to see Cameron last night too. He also doesn't share my music tastes. Lusi went for a little while too. I also saw girls from my Tongan YSA ward. Daisey Brown and Shari Malekamu. They are in Parley's ward. Interesting. I also saw Benson my pharmacist friend I thought was a surgeon. I didn't recognize Cara until she left my side.

I was thinking how great it was that I could attend a party and then make it to my temple shift. It was tough but alright. UNTIL I went to help a couple guys with sealings. I stood in for the proxy wives. I did a set of names with each and then was working on the second set with the first guy. Kneeling at the altar means my knees are locked and during the third name it felt like I was going to faint. I saw TV snow and I kept thinking I might not make it through this ordinance. They all stopped and tried to help me. I just apologized and refused their assistance until I tried to walk to the elevator but swerved instead. The older temple sealer rushed to my side and I made it downstairs where I got chocolate and water.

I felt weak for the rest of the shift but alright for the most part.

I am tempted to go home and watch the Jane Austen Videos Schoshi lent me. I had to ask my mother for $10 for the dance tonight. I have a Bride of Darkness costume. I intend to have fun tonight. I need this break. It'll be a long day tomorrow in the temple but that's alright. I want to set up an appointment with Stacey and William Bustos asap. I was hoping today but then maybe not.

I have the Roseman University interview coming up as well as the Financial Advisor one with Walden Reed. I don't want to work in another academic library again. I know I'm too picky for someone without a job but I want to try real estate full time for at least a year. It is the one thing I think I really know right now.

My interview was alright. The story portion was good and most of my questions were alright. I nailed the last question which was why should they hire me. I told them they should hire me because I have Moxy, that I dared to do what most won't and that I don't just want excellence I want flair, style, grace and finesse all the time.

I know they loved my last answer. I would love to work with them. Such a fun group although only time will tell. I made sure to tell them about my not-guilty verdict because I don't want that holding me back either. I tried to contact William Bustos again but I kept confronting barriers that I don't like.

I am going to get in touch with Stacy Staheli and see if I can set up an appointment with her. She is with Coldwell Banker. I want this part time librarian job and then I want to work full time with a real estate agent.

I parked at Harmons and took Trax here. I just don't want to pay for parking here at the library and I'll just go right back to Harmons. AJS was perfect this morning. I don't feel like I need to see Family Services. They were tripping over my entitlement moment. It is hard for me to realize Heavenly Father let me flounder. I feel like I'm trying so hard and he doesn't care. I know that's not true and he is helping me repeatedly along the way. It is just hard to see that sometimes.

My testimony is solid. I just have to trust my Father in Heaven and his plan for me. This morning Alexis talked about how we need to be flexible to allow our lives to be led by the Holy Ghost. Sooo true. I am excited about this children's librarian position. I will love doing this AND I don't want it full time because I do want to pursue Real Estate asap. Some company emailed me about interviewing with them for a financial analyst REALLY a stockbroker like Etrade. I am taking the interview BUUUT I know Heavenly Father helped me do this and helped me get my Real Estate license. I have no doubt of that and I want to give it the devotion it deserves. I don't want to have to learn an entirely different industry or get something in something I'm not passionate about.

Time for me to run over a few things before it really is time.

Looong day. AJS was fantastic. Today Sister Allen talked to us about branding. She wanted us to rewrite our Me-in-30 to include our branding. It made me think about and revisit Moxy although I didn't really develop it until a few minutes ago. I'm so glad I figured out Harmon's and their net. They are open until 11pm and I am here thinking about questions I'll probably be asked at my interview tomorrow.

Since it is a children's librarian position she specifically asked me to prepare a rhyme, story to read aloud and craft appropriate to children 3-5. I immediately thought about head shoulders knees and toes. THANK YOU primary!!! I thought of Q-tips for a skeleton craft and then some sort of book with body parts. I wanted everything to go together.

I'm not an idiot. When I first began as a substitute librarian they had me train with Lori Hershel an amazing Children's Librarian. She the quintessential children's librarian. When she talks she sounds like she's speaking to a child. ALL THE TIME. She's been doing this for over 20 years. I wanted a book recommendation from her. Instead she gave me an incredible story and a craft that goes with it EXACTLY. PLUS she gave me the state's early literacy goals that children's librarians try to incorporate in all they do. Children are best prepared before entering school when through talking, playing, reading, writing and singing.

This is an essential piece I hadn't considered that I feel will make a significant difference in my interview tomorrow. The craft is a monster that is featured in the story. It goes over the monster's body parts like its purple hair, red mouth with white sharp teeth, yellow eyes, green wiggly ears and green face. It then takes each part away. It is perfect and I am sooo fortunate. She lent me her special book she uses for story time. I am taking it back right away as in as soon as I'm done with my interview. Everything she let me use is perfection for this interview. I'm sooo happy she gave me the early literacy piece. It was the furtherest thing from my mind.

I received an interview invitation from this financial company Waddell and Reed. I will attend the information portion but it reminds me of the insurance interview I first went on with those insurance men from Christy's stake. It is a good field but I'm not excited about it and I don't want to work for another license without doing real estate which is what I really want to do. I would be happy doing real estate full time along with this part time librarian position. William Bustos sounds incredible and it is with whom I want to rock this. He has a Keller Williams franchise in Midvale and that is something I like very much too.

I REALLY want the City Library job. The Roseman College position... Not so much. I need to explore more about William Bustos. I am more attracted to Real Estate.

I drove to Providence today and the judge doesn't go there until Monday from 4-6pm. I did manage to contact the city prosecutor who unlike the Secured Salt Lake City prosecutor who has people working specifically for him conducting business or one of 2 full time city prosecutors in Midvale, the Providence prosecutor is an attorney at a nice office in Logan. I haven't been to an office that nice AND I've been to the City Manager's office at the Cache County building. My mother was so ticked with me. She'll get over it.

This morning I freaked out and broke down. Elder Commarel asked me how it went with Jet.com and I remembered how I spent all that time looking the recruiter up, wrote a tailored cover letter, applied online PLUS called the recruiter with NO RESPONSE!!! It is just like my Spherion application. I know my record may be to blame, BUT WHAT THE HEO!!! I just couldn't take it anymore. I started to ask myself what I did anyway. Why did Heavenly Father allow this to happen.

We have temple sealings tonight. I just can't go. I need to go home which I'm doing in a minute.

Armed with my certificates allowing me to petition each court, I have 4 - 2 for Salt Lake City, the Midvale one and one from the Providence court. REALLY??? Sooo yesterday I printed probably 80 pages and spent the bulk of my day filling paperwork out. I thought I was done BUUUT when I delivered the papers to the Salt Lake Courthouse they quickly had me fill out additional papers I hadn't filled out. PLUS let me go to another building to deliver it to the deputy prosecutor's office. They told me it would take 40 days and to call when I was done. I am clearing the traffic stuff too because they sent the certificates to me although each is supposed to cost 56.00. I just paid for the criminal mischief charge to be expunged and I was going to do the rest later but since they sent me traffic stuff I'm taking care of everything.

I went to the Midvale justice court too which is in a new building. They were not as helpful as the Salt Lake ladies were and I spent a bunch of time filling out additional paperwork. I only have the Providence one left and I was going to mail it but instead I will do this in person because they may have their own additional requirements. I haaate having to drive there but I will because I don't have a choice tomorrow after AJS and after I meet with whoever I have to meet with.

I couldn't find my invitation but I remembered her saying something about it being at her house so I drove to her house in West Valley. No one was there so next I called my RS president to see if she had the address. Instead she said she'd pick me up and drive me there. It was held as some church in South Jordan. I helped serve cheesecake as soon as I got there. Valerie looked beautiful. John looked nice too.

They get married today in some temple. I am so happy for them. I'm glad I got to know both of them. I received a personality-type test from William Bustos to return to them as part of the application process. There are no new librarian opportunities in Salt Lake City since yesterday. I need to prepare for my City library interview. It includes reading an age-appropriate book for a 3-5 year old. Time for me to search for one and prepare for this.

I keep thinking about head shoulders knees and toes for the rhyme they want. I don't like this schedule although I did agree to adhere to it if need be. I am not focusing on meeting my AJS goals which I need to do to truly show I am participating as I should in the program. I am targeting real estate agencies now because I don't know how long it is going to take for them to even give me permission to begin clearing my record the way I want to do that.

William Bustos is the #1 agent in the state and he has been so for many years. Learning from him would be a treat. I had no idea. I just looked him up.

I really love the AJS program because it motivates me to continue to apply for and try to get a job. Now that I know about my background I am trying to take care of it. I have just submitted the permission to get charges expunged through going to the BCI or Utah's Bureau of Criminal Identification office in Taylorsville. I felt like a criminal when they took my fingerprints there.

This is just part of it. I know that. It is still hard despite that. There are 3 engineers in my group. One of the girls is a biomedical engineer. She is so impressive. She is the reigning Miss Utah International. She was making a little over 40,000 with just a BS. The chemical engineer is attending a recruiting dinner hosted by ATK tonight in Layton. His interview is tomorrow. He was laid off from Haliburton because they ran out of work for him to do. He is interested in working more in aerospace engineering. I'm sure he is going to make a bunch of money too.

There is another chemical engineer that also got an MBA and has been working in finance. He is married to a new attorney who is doing her internship at the Smithsonian in DC. Amy is a marketing person and single mother. She seems very comfortable in interview sessions and is excellent at her Me-In-30-Seconds pitch. The longer I am in the program however, the less impressed I am with her.

I'm helping serve cheese-cake at John and Valerie's reception tonight at her house. He is a realtor and has helped to inspire me to really explore the real estate interest I have. I applied to 2 real estate positions along with an associate librarian position so far today. I know the missionaries want me not to wait and to just apply for out-of-state positions but I know I wouldn't have been woken up at 3am if my record wasn't an issue. It is so frustrating. I can't make them move faster then how freakin long they're taking.

I am using this time to explore real estate because that is one industry that cares only about making money and not on what might be on your record. I have to pray carefully to know when is appropriate to mention to a potential employer that I have a misdemeanor charge BUT NOT conviction on my record. Who knew I'd ever have to deal with something like this? I can make several face-to-face contacts at Valerie's wedding tonight.

I found this amazing recipe last year and it uses the spices Mele taught me how to use - cumin, coriander, turmeric, cinnamon - a big onion, 6 cloves of garlic AND cilantro plus cauliflower, carrots, celery, a big chopped russet potato, heavy cream, chicken broth, lime juice, chickpeas, tomatoes, pumpkin of course - nice middle eastern seasoning. Sooo after buying ALL the ingredients it came to $35.00 and NOT the $20 I had planned on. I always like to add raisins and cashews too. I made 2 big pots of soup planning for 40 people. I have a bunch left over which is fine for me because I like it.

I made 2 pots of soup at the same time and it took over an hour to chop and cook everything. I was exhausted but very happy there was a huge turnout and everyone helped serve and clean up. I was sooo glad when it was over but then that's always how I am. Some people REALLLLY liked it which made me happy but I was expecting more people to be completely converted to it. I met a Fijian missionary. She is almost done as in she has about 4 months left.

This morning I was feeling crappy because after researching Shamus the recruiter for jet.com the E-commerce place that sounds incredible, AND applying online AND trying to get ahold of him on the phone. I've heard absolutely nothing. ALSO I contacted Rodney Moser who is with Century 21 and he didn't respond at all. John told me to be persistent but it feels rather like I am being a pest.

I FINALLY, YES FINALLY received an interview for an associate children's librarian position. It means I'll have to attend the Fort Union ward for the rest of the year since it meets at 9am and switch my temple shift AGAIN if I end up getting the job. We'll just have to wait and see. I also applied for a corporate librarian position at a place at research park near the U. They manufacture products to help diagnose medical ailments more accurately. These are machines that can scan a patient. I would enjoy working there. It is very cutting-edge and for medical devices, research that matters and makes a difference almost immediately.

I also applied for an internal communications position at the city library. It is a full time position and if they are trying to get me working somewhere else so they don't have to interview me for it I will be ticked. There is another associate librarian position posted on the City Library site this time for the Sweet Library. It is the only library I've never been to before in the City system. I want to work somewhere at the City Library so I can even be considered for the Marmalade management position there when it opens in January.

So the main speaker said Heavenly Father wants to speak to us all the time but we just need to listen. He had us close our eyes then he told us there is someone we need to talk to and something we need to say. I got NOTHING!!! Next he told us there's something Heavenly father wants us to do right now. I got workout but I've been thinking about that for awhile.

I asked Jason if he got anything and he didn't. He said he was sitting by Spencer who told him you can't do that. If we paid attention to the spirit more would we feel that way? This guy used to be a mission president. What he said however doesn't ring true to me the way what Spencer and Jason said did.

Gillwicks spoke. I think that is their name. Steve was there. It was weird to see him again so soon after just seeing him. Uai Panisi is the new Elders quorum president. I finally said hi to him nicely. A Tongan Elders quorum president, what are the chances? I talked to Jason a little bit and while I saw Steve I wanted to give him his space.

My mother is already starting on me. She wants me to take a crappy job. My new plan is to take anything and have my real estate stuff established then work my ass off. I never want to be broke like I am now. I want no debt and a healthy savings account. I want my name cleared of any background crap too. I'm also going to clear my traffic stuff BUUUT first things first. I want a healthy savings account before I even consider moving to California.

My mother drives me as crazy as I know i drive her. I thanked Steve for his birthday invitation and told him it was important for me to make it to at least part of it. I told him I didn't know if he could still be my friend and that I only regretted anything I did if it made me lose a friend. Why can't ALL men be as cool as Steve. I'm glad he had a huge turnout and I hope he had the best birthday. He made keeping him as my friend easy. I didn't feel strange at all seeing him or talking to him yesterday AND I'm fine just being his friend. I will truly be happy for him if he finds and marries someone. This is how it always should be.

Life is a trip. Yesterday I went to Taylorsville to get fingerprinted and apply for permission to get my record expunged. It was done at the office of criminal identification. I went and ate at in and out. I paid a lot to eat at the habit in sugarhouse and it was delicious. In and out quality however is just as good at a fraction of the price. I bought a set of 4 mugs for Rachel and Renees birthday party which they liked and was well attended. I talked to a few people but really there wasn't anyone I wanted to talk to. 

Tonight I went to the beginning of Steve's birthday. Like I expected there were A LOT of women there. I enjoyed meeting his friends who were all nice. They were all going to see a movie. I just wanted to see Steve and wish him a Happy Birthday. I gave him this small decorative tic tac toe set I had picked up once from T J Maxx. I'm pretty sure he looked liked it. I love his commitment to the gospel but it is so obvious we don't share many interests. That is something I like about him however. I like having a friend who actually owns hiking pants. He still looks good.  I am glad to have him as a friend. I wanted more at one time. It was important for me to attend his party because I want to keep him as a friend.

The first thing I need to do is go to the Utah Bureau of Criminal Identification place in Taylorsville so I can get a certificate of Eligibility so I can even petition the court to begin the expungment process. That is going to take $50. That is in addition to the other 167.00. It is good for 90 days from when it is issued. I feel sick about this. I have to now print out this stuff from the legal aid lady I spoke with. I can't believe she emailed me the cases. It was so easy for her.

Within 90 days after that I can get the other stuff. My mother said she doesn't have any property taxes until next year so she can afford to help me with those damn fees. She is sooo annoying me. She had a dream about twins and she asked me if any of my cousins have twins. She said it's probably me and I told her yes I'll probably have to go on hormone therapy to get pregnant and that people who undergo fertility treatment often have multiple births. She was so ticked when I told her that. She said I don't care about getting married and that I don't have faith because I still have my period. It doesn't help that I told her I'd look into getting my eggs freezed but I've heard it costs a lot. That just makes her more mad.

She told me she told me to check on that a long time ago. It did seem like I'd get hired many times but then at the last minute something would happen. I didn't want to assume something that outlandish. She is keeping that I told you so on a loop that is getting the hell on my nerves.

Davis county sent me a letter saying I am number 10 on their register but they are considering the first 5 after which I will be contacted if they need to consider more. I haven't heard from SLCC at all about the assistant director position that I REALLY want but ALSO I am more than ready to make a whole hell of a lot more in California too.

First I'm doing everything I can on my expungment then I am going to apply all over California. I always imagined myself living there. The East Coast is very cool but also very scary to me too because I don't have anyone there although I shouldn't really be worried about it since I have church family all over the world.

I am still reeling from realizing I've had this on my record about 9 years without really thinking about it. I know my Father in Heaven has all power to do everything. He can certainly help me find employment. I keep wondering how my Iife was changed because of that. Is this why I didn't get so many jobs I applied for in the beginning? Why did this happen? How would my life have been different? Why now? Why did I have to go to Logan? While I made use of my time there I could've done that anywhere.

I worked on power statements for most of last night. I'm trying to find a positive spin on this and I can't find one no matter how I try. I looked at this closer and I was charged with shoplifting. How is damaging foundation, breaking the seal and using the product shoplifting? How is it a crime? I didn't do it but should I have lied and said I did to avoid all of this? I was too mad to think straight. I was so happy when the judge sided with me and found me not guilty BUUUT this is still on my record and any state or county jobs, which is what the hell I want to do, are going to use this against me. This happened in June of 2006. I was in Customer Service at Overstock.com. They'd have no reason to check my background since they probably did earlier when nothing was wrong with it.

My next job was with the County as a substitute Librarian. My former reference teacher Cheryl Mansen was the manager at the Sandy Library. Substitutes are not merit positions. They would not have had to run a background check. I interviewed at MANY places throughout the state. I even applied for a Bookmobile librarian in Summit County. I NEVER would've taken the job at Stevens-Henager College in Logan if I hadn't been rejected for a merit position with the County, AGAIN!!!

I can't believe Heavenly Father allowed me to go this long without figuring this out. I was George's sister so they probably didn't even bother to run a background check plus Sharla was desperate for a librarian. It was my first position so I didn't ask for what someone with experience would have. I know Heavenly Father knows the end from the beginning, I know he has his reasons but I just sit here instead thinking this sucks. I drove to Harmons so I can drink my huge drink, feel sorry for myself and cry without anyone I know coming over and trying to talk to me.

It is going to take $167 to clear this from my record. I was arrested for shoplifting. It doesn't matter what really happened or even that the judge found me not guilty. There is no way to change that because it happened. I wouldn't have done anything different but why did I still have to go through this? It doesn't help that I'm Polynesian. People are still going to assume the worst. I remember when I told Steve I served near where he grew up in California. He had to clarify and he couldn't believe I served a mission.

I feel like I just keep trying but it doesn't matter and I'm like a damn rat running on one of those wheels. I don't feel like trying although I have to do that. I love this gospel and I am so grateful I woke up at 3am Wednesday morning thinking I need to check this. BUUUT why the hell NOW??? Everything I've read online tells me I could've had this expunged from my record 30 days after it happened IN 2006!!! Sooo I could've had that taken care of a long time ago and I'd be working making lots of money somewhere as a librarian manager. Why did this happen? I just wrote my bishop a looong message relating what occurred.

I have a misdemeanor but it is not guilty. I was charged with one but not convicted. It hasn't made a liar out of me with all my applications but people with misdemeanors were usually convicted. I am an odd weird case and people have to pay attention or they'll assume I was convicted because people who weren't usually don't have anything on their record period. Since it is more than 7 years old I can have it expunged from my record... So I have a record but not one that should matter. A group of attorneys meet at Welfare Square especially to go over how to do that.

I'm grateful for that insight although it shouldn't affect me if people pay attention the way they should. They probably never see someone with a not guilty misdemeanor. Yes I
was just one of the lucky ones.

About to get ready for another long day at the employment services. Yesterday I felt so blessed for the church's employment services. I am grateful for the opportunity to improve myself and my communication skills. I was all psyched to find a real estate assistant job. I was formulating plans in my head and that is what I fell asleep to after the temple. At 3 in the morning I wake to rethinking my first librarian interview I had with the state. At the end of our interview she said she'd talk to me soon. She never called back. Next I was certain uta would hire me for their part time customer service position that paid 20.00 an hour. Next was LDS Business Colleges adjunct teaching interview that ended with them telling me I was adorable. The church history library asked me to stay so she could show me the part of the building where they met with patrons. 8 interviews with the County and nothing? Broadview university when they gave me their business card and said they'd be in touch. The writing test I took with the priesthood committee. The editing test, I even applied for the church's call center.

Why does the spirit always deprive my sleep? Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean people aren't chasing you. I feel stupid even inquiring but I have to find out.

Two hours away doesn't seem quick enough. I'm heating pizza now and I took out my retainer. I'm tired but my mind is wound up and I can't relax until this is done. How am I going to recover from this?

I just shared Holland's quote on Facebook that expecting nothing will happen to you because you are a good person is like thinking the bull won't charge you because you're a vegetarian.

I freaking can't sleep a and it's after 5 now.

If it did that is... Did heavenly father really allow this to happen to me if it did in fact occur?

Being unjustly accused or really failing Every interview I've had for over a year? I don't think I'm grasping at straws but even if I am I'm finding out as soon as possible. I sure hope to hell this is what happened and I hope it can be cleared up asap.

I REALLY hope to hell this is what has been keeping me from getting EVERY job I've applied for for over a year. When I was in library school the night before one of my trips I went to Smith's to buy groceries among other things. A security officer said he saw me open a foundation bottle and test some on my hand. I got mad at him because I didn't do that and I swore at him. He said he didn't want to make a big deal out of it and if I just paid for it he would let it go. I was furious and told him there was no way in hell I was going to pay for something I didn't touch. A police officer came and made a report and the security guard actually had the officer search me by patting me down. I asked the security guard several times if he saw me use the foundation. I also asked him if he saw foundation on my hands. He never answered there in the store and instead ignored my question. I ended up appearing in court where the security guard lied and said he saw me use the foundation. I maintained my innocence and the judge sided with me. In Hawaii or on Oahu rather the entire island is one county, Honolulu. My license was suspended for unpaid parking tickets in Salt Lake County mainly thanks to the U,s parking Nazis. When I went to court in Midvale initially while they read the charges for the Smiths incident they also charged me with driving without insurance. I admitted guilty to that but I didn't have 900 in cash. I spent 6 hours in jail and I had taken my lunch hour off to go to court for what I thought might make me a 1/2 hour to an hour late. I also missed my flight to Oregon for the second part of my class weekend. I ended up failing the class and had to take it again. My bishop had to bail me out of jail. It was horrific. Some lady put her finger up my vagina to see if I had drugs there as part of the search they conduct. I kept requesting contact solution to take  My contacts out but they ignored me. I peeded earlier in the initial holding cell but later when I was placed vCard education in the holding cell with 3 other woman and visible cells to all the guards I needed to per but I couldn't bring myself to strip in front of everyone to do that. I had to take my garments off and wear underwear they gave me. I suppose Heavenly Father was watching me even in there because I was so upset when I was told to strip in front of a male guard before I took a shower he told me to wait and a female guard made me lift each boob so she could visually make sure I didn't have anything under each one. This was while I was in the shower so the guard was outside. My bishop was a relative and he used his own money which came to over a thousand. Luckily I had just received my school aid money so I could pay him back immediately and pay the court for my unpaid ticket which generated a warrant and caused me to go to jail in the first place. I try to never think of the most humiliating experience of my life but if I was supposed to answer yes all this time for being convicted of something EVEN if I was absolved of everything later it will explain a whole hell of a lot. I don't think I would have received every job I applied for but LDS Business College told me I was adorable at my teaching demonstration and I felt I got the uta job I applied for also the church history library. Am I up at 3 in the morning recuse of this or have I just not been hired with EVERY job so far? I will definitely find out today. Is Heavenly Father helping me today? I REALLY hope he is.

I went to Fhe. Yea me!!! There are some new people in my ward I don't know. It was nice to interact with different people. I need to think of reasons why people should hire me even if I am an unemployed librarian. I am going to begin to visit art galleries, law firms and businesses that may have libraries. Also media outlets could be productive. I also need to identify top producing reactors and introduce myself and tell them how I can add value to their business. I know there's a legislative library too there. I also want to think about how I personally can add value to a library and then I need to start marketing that. The mls is the lowest paid master degree. Physicians assistant is the highest paid master followed by The mba and engineering. I haven't thought enough about my abilities and why someone should hire me.

I really enjoyed when I had to complete John's cards AND get Cameron's piece ready for Sandy's art show. I was dashing all over the place and barely finished everything on time but it is when I thrive. I can sooo work the Real Estate thing and the little I did which was barely anything for John convinced me I want to do real estate for sure. Finding an assistant position is going to be the trick. I hope I can get everything done.

I also need to work on preparing the food for our upcoming relief society combined activity. I decided on pumpkin curry soup. I looked at the recipe last night and realized it is going to take more energy than I first realized. I need to find out about styrofoam bowls. I think Harmons has the best small size. I wonder if they'd sell me some. If we get rolls we should probably get butter too although if we get crackers we don't need to worry about that.

There are cream puffs and I was hoping they had the small individual cheesecake bites Sam's Club does but I didn't see any. Maybe one of our members has a Sam's Club membership. I need to send an email today.

I went to my insurance customer service interview and I didn't like it because they talked about getting licensed and/or certified. REALLY???!!! I don't want to work in another field. I don't want to have to learn a whole new set of skills. I am joining the workshop for people looking for employment tomorrow and Wednesday. I am feeling like crap again. The busyness must have made me feel better but I can't live off of air. I need money and California is looking better and better.

Posts go? Weird. President Russell Nelsons talk was Sooo good. It reaffirmed women are much more than simpering idiots. I loved it. It was such an empowering women's talk. It recognized women as important contributors and leaders in the gospel. I love this church so much. I asked my mother Friday what she thought of Cams picture but I was surprised when she was offended by it. It is of a dictator. It is amazing to me. He has chronicled his spiritual journey in his pieces. I was able to see some of his portraits and they are beautiful. Yesterday when I was at the Sandy library I was looking over the stuff for the contemporary art museum. What I didn't like was picture from their last fundraiser.  Everything was dark and amoral. Contemporary art to me has to be much more than what I saw pictured. Everything was intentionally shocking and irreverent. Art can certainly be that but it isn't ONLY what it is I think in Salt Lake city's desire NOT to be influenced by the sublime beauty of the simplicity of the dominant church they have gone so far they've teetered off the edge.

How doesn't anyone see or get that. I love surrealist art and I know there is a segment that will love his stuff for to me are all the wrong reasons. He is in spiritual crisis but the liberal art community is not something that would help him. If anything it would hurt him.

Yesterday I met Cameron at his apartment to look through his paintings. He is super-talented. More so than I first supposed. I love the thought of promoting his art. It is weird. I like him but I don't have the least bit of interest in dating him. I like his surrealist stuff but I'm thinking for him to make money in this market he's going to have to do stuff to appeal to LDS members. He's already done a commissioned painting for a friend of her with the Savior. Another painting he did of some guys friends is incredible. He stopped working on it when the guy told him he wasn't going to pay him.

His apartment was extremely messy but had a really nice desk, computer and TV. It is a studio but has a lot of space for that. It wasn't as bad as Mark's apartment. Not ALL guys are messy. This one definitely IS. His stuff is largely composed of his own spiritual journey and the forces that compete for his attention.

I found a frame at DI for $2 so I could submit one of his pieces to the Sandy art exhibition/contest thing. I had to buy wire, wire cutters and put the hooks on and then the wire thing. It turned out really nice. I also asked Cameron if I can use him as one of John's contacts. I'm FINALLY done with his cards.

Conference seemed to be aimed at me.

Today our message was on Conference and how it is where we can receive guidance and direction. I love conference. I was reminded of that conference I attended with students from Stevens-Henager College to hear some incredible speakers. What struck me the most is people pay so much money for the kind of talks I get to be exposed to every six months with incredible servants of God who specifically give me messages to strengthen my life. As we reviewed the guidance we've received through this I silently chastened myself for not remembering how much my father in heaven loves me. I've felt forsaken and haven't even wanted to consider possibilities that abound.

I am so grateful for this program. Today we listened to a presentation from someone who went through the AJS journey. I forgot his name but he was a disgruntled attorney who wanted something else. The program helped him do what he really wanted to do which was begin a non-profit for kids suffering from cancer. He wrote a heroes book featuring children who battled cancer and has been on the view to discuss his organization. He was also on local news stations for the same thing.

He said he is happy and in his dream job. How many people can say that and mean it? Not me. Of course any job would be an improvement for me. I have an interview for a part time customer service position with an insurance company. The owner is LDS employment services assistant director's stake president and she told me to feel free to use her name. She said she felt resistance when people suggested the University of Utah and Canyons school district to me - YES I don't want to be an academic librarian. I also applied for the assistant director job at Salt Lake Community College.

I saw the Sandy art contest at the library and then I spoke to the Director of the Saratoga Springs library. I am excited to be its volunteer Event Specialist. She wants to hold art classes for kids. I FINALLY talked to Cameron today. We are meeting tomorrow because he needs to choose a piece for the Sandy library art show. I love art and marketing it. I should've been an art history major. It just never seemed good for anything. I want to explore my art museum aspect of my degree. I did several major projects on art anyway. He is going to try teaching an art class for me too at the Saratoga Springs Library.

I feel more energized and excited about possibilities now. I need to hone and practice my power statements as well as add another one. That's the one thing this experience has given me thus far. I am FINALLY done with the mortgage cards Johnathan gave me to complete and mail. I still need to gather addresses names and telephone numbers of 7 more people for Jonathan and invite them to this customer appreciation Halloween-type activity.

The insurance position I interview for Monday sounds marvelous AND it is part time. It pays enough for me to pay these real estate fees and hurry and develop that. I love that I found the Saratoga Springs library. The insurance position is part time to start and it is time for me to explore other areas. I haven't even applied in California yet. I reread Oaks' Good, Better, Best talk. Sister Peterson killed me with the spirit yesterday.