Urban Poly Princess

I woke up late, started watching Full House YES ANOTHER Korean drama. I went to Ross and there wasn't anything I wanted there. I went to Serendipity. It's a salon people keep recommending to me. I couldn't get an appointment until Thursday. I'm returning to work Wednesday. I went to Walmart and bought a duster, paper towels, mop, cleaning gloves, eyeliner, mascara and strawberries.

I just made a dentist appointment for Friday at 9am. SUCKY but necessary. I was just called as the assistant secretary in Relief Society-REALLY???!!! Did they make up that calling? I was a Relief Society President before. That calling doesn't exist. It's like when I was in my first singles ward in Logan and the bishop called me AND Tiffany as ward employment specialists. I've been in this ward over a year and I've NEVER been asked to speak either. Of course the temple secretary's NEVER called me either. I shouldn't have to prove my competence BUT I SHOULD BE USED TO THAT PROBLEM BY NOW.

My goal that has NEVER changed has always been to be extremely gorgeous AND spiritual AND intelligent AND talented. I think each area only strengthens the rest. I want to defy stereotypes.

I've been looking at stuff online-Elements has a buffet as does Coppermill and Jack's Wood Fire Pizza. My friend Katie told me about Jack's which probably means the non-LDS crowd will be there. I could attend, have fun but then think yeah no one's LDS here and I'm in LOGAN, UT what the hell is my problem. I'm sure the Elements buffet is delicious BUT $28 for a buffet that I'm sure will be amazing-NOT going to happen.

INSTEAD I'm going to watch Les Mis tomorrow and Breaking Dawn which I still haven't seen before attending my stake New Years Eve Party that starts at 9 for mid-singles to infinity. Actually there's just one showing of Breaking Dawn at 9:05 so I should do that tomorrow and TRY at the New Years Eve party.

No one posted fhe stuff in the bulletin since people are probably going to parties or hosting parties. I'm going to really try at this Singles thing tomorrow. When I went to our graham-cracker decorating fhe thing some random guy asked me if I was still attending institute. YES except for the last 2 classes when I was trying to turn in my thesis.

I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN AT THE SINGLES EVENT TOMORROW. I WILL NOT JUDGE PEOPLE SOLELY BY WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE ALTHOUGH I WILL TELL ANYONE I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THAT I'M NOT!!!

One thing that helped me sit near David in Sunday school is Jared was sitting where I usually do and there was no way in hell I was sitting anywhere near him.

I had little sleep which was NOT good before church since I was tired and didn't contribute anything to my classes. David is back. I'm VERY glad about that although I didn't get talk to him. I thought he'd talk to me after sacrament but he didn't. I had to go out of my way just to sit near him in Sunday school and it's very ANNOYING. I know he was shy for a long time. That should make it better but it doesn't.

I miss him and I want to know how his trip was even if he did go to Hawaii. I'd tell him I missed him but then he'd probably flip out and then tick me off. I really do want to make this better but only if he does. And I always feel like he does and then I have a day like today when he does not a damn thing.

I ate the last of my shrimp last night. I decided to make the rest of my roast Nepalese style with cumin, cilantro and chopped up the rest of my potatoes. I'm tired of throwing out things because they went bad.  White rice is sooo good!!! I've been eating brown rice since they sell the big bags at Costco. I FINALLY ran out of my brown rice and bought a big bag of white Calrose rise from Sam's Club here.

My job growing up was to cook rice everyday. That would consist of washing it then putting the right amount of water in the rice cooker and turning it on. Since I have to finish this big bag of 25 lb rice it'll take me over a year. Actually the bag is gone and it's in my rice bucket now. White rice is my childhood. It is sooo much better than brown. What was I thinking???!!!

My cumin beef creation is delicious!!! It took awhile to cut up those potatoes. I'm enjoying my vacation-eat, clean, watch Korean drama!!!

I need to bake some rolls and start on my egg rolls. It's easy to slack.

Life is great!!!

My distant cousin Facebooked that she was going to watch Korean dramas. Exactly what I'm doing now between laundry. I looove Korean dramas because the drama is extreme AND because they don't jump into bed all the time. I don't need to see something I consider sacred treated like it's nothing. I am always hearing about how Americans attitudes towards sex is prudish when compared to the rest of the world BUT Korean couples have problems even holding hands-or at least they treat that and kissing as something special. Bollywood won't even show kissing. Ironically the home of the Karma Sutra is extremely conservative about sex and anything leading up to it.

I've always had a deep testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel. I am grateful for that blessing. I know if I didn't my choices would've been VERY different. I know Heavenly Father knows best and gives us the experiences that will help us become what he would have us be-If I had to search for my testimony the way some people had to when I first went to college, I would have tried EVERYTHING. The gospel is the ONLY thing that helped me make the choices I did.

Opportunities continue to abound. I am so blessed.

Made my bed, cleaned my bedroom, put away my clean clothes that were hanging to dry in my shower. I have more laundry to do. YES I know I have too many clothes. BUT can you ever have too many. I have spoiled myself. When I get married I need a 3-bedroom condo. I need at least two closets. I have about 60 pairs of shoes and boots. I'm nowhere near Imelda. I don't use some of my stuff. I think this summer I'll weed what I don't lose and free up some space.

I think I failed to focus on the Savior this Christmas. It was an incredible opportunity for me to remind my nieces and nephews of the real meaning of Christmas and I didn't do that. I was focused too much on food and whether they'd have fun. I toyed with the idea of giving them all Christmas cards and writing what they'd give to Jesus Christ this year. I wanted to save them and read them next year so we could all evaluate the steps we took to get there.

The Single Adults in the area have a New Years Eve celebration right at the stake center near my house. I'm going to attend that this year although I know I'd have more fun in Provo. I wish my brother and his family found a home in Salt Lake City. He wouldn't be as tired from commuting 2 hours each day. He said Provo feels like home. I have a lot of family in Utah Valley and Salt Lake City.

I need to plan to spend a weekend with my mother. Nate has his farewell on I think the 13th. Great reason for me to visit and spend time with mom.

I wonder if we're having the annual family New Year's Day get-together at some chapel in Provo. I should ask Noelani.

STILL. I wanted to wait until it stopped to take out the trash BUT I'll be waiting here all day if I do that. So I took it out, washed the few dishes in the sink and ate some teriyaki roast and scalloped potatoes. Now I'm stuffed. I need to buy some carbonated peach water. I'm drinking the last of the sparkling apple cider and the extra root beer then I NEED something to drink. I'll be stuck with the milk in the fridge and water.

Laundry, laundry, laundry. George and Alisa gave me a ferrer rocher variety pack. I ate all but 3. I still have my super box I bought myself. I miss the babies!!! I love George's kids!!! Ochi and Ia are just beginning to talk so they like to do that a lot. I wish I could understand everything they say but I can't. They are so cute.

It's nice to have my house clean. I need some more cleaning supplies. I just want to see the checks I've  written go through first.

No Korean drama has really tempted me lately and I'm in my OCD cleaning mode. I can take out the trash now since it's not snowing anymore. First however I need to bundle up since there's a mountain of snow for me to wade through to the dumpsters. I NEED to mix my pork and wrap my eggrolls. My sleeping habits are back to normal I fell asleep just after midnight and I was up at 7am.  I watched the first 2 episodes of a couple of Korean dramas I didn't like. I don't need to finish them.

Laundry and more cleaning. My house will be spotless pretty soon. I need to buy a mop. I need to clean my stove, fridge AND wipe down the bottom ledges in my bathrooms-lots of dust there. My white walls show EVERYTHING-I guess that's good in a way if I can tell immediately if it's clean or not.

The tablecloth I put over my banquet table looks better without most of the creases but even after a wash traces of the lines still remain. I want a steamer for my clothes AND one I can use for tablecloths too. I need to buy one from Amazon.

My OCD tendency is beginning to manifest itself BUT I'm taking a small break. The table looks fine except for the tablecloth creases. I leaned it against one of the walls and covered it with the tablecloth I'm washing and drying the one I used and then I'm trading it out as soon as it's dry. That should take care of the creases. I washed all my dishes but the crock pot and I still need to empty my dishwasher. My metal folding chairs fit nicely in my storage closet.

I like entertaining. In addition to putting on a lot of events when I was president of the Polynesian club, I think it's just another characteristic of my family and culture. I just wish my mother came. My future husband better like parties because we're having a lot of them.

brown sugar, soy sauce and garlic made my roast tasty. If I had time I could've served this instead. I fried up a bunch AND there's still a lot more. I guess my nieces and nephews know what it should taste like too. It's sooo much better. Getting there slowly. Dishwasher emptied now just the plate I'm using and the pan I just used. Looove it!!! I need to take out the trash too. I was just waiting for the snow to stop but it didn't stop ALL day. Korean drama time.

I never did make my eggrolls and I have all the stuff to make it. I can make some more rice and fry it this time to have with my eggrolls and cashew shrimp then I'll still have my Asian food. I'm going to season my meat the way I like it too. The only dish that won't be Asian are my scalloped potatoes. Those are good for breakfast.

New Years is fast approaching. Alisa said it's her house then but I don't think I'm leaving town UNTIL 2013 and I'd have to leave Logan to celebrate the new year BEFORE the new year. The snow is ugly outside and I'm so glad I don't need to go ANYWHERE!!! Lots of food in the house too. A nice perk of hosting Christmas dinner/lunch-whatever that was!!! I never opened the oreos I bought for this either. Lots of stuff. I have a lot of ice-crean too.

Only Noe and Nata ate cheesecake. My nieces and nephews don't like it. I have an entire chocolate cheesecake in the freezer. Half a box of cream puffs and 8 pieces of vanilla cheesecake in the freezer.

Time to start being alive now!!!

I put away all the food last night. Today I get to take down my table, empty my dishwasher, figure out where to store my table and folding chairs I just bought. I can stick my table on the side of the wall downstairs and just use the table cloth I didn't use to cover it. I think my folding chairs will fit in the storage closet downstairs. I just have a lot of stuff in there.

It still makes me mad that my roast didn't turn out how I wanted. I think I'm just going to cook one once a month until I figure it out. I wonder if I just season it like like my Asian/Hawaiian meat if it wouldn't be just as tasty. I'm going to look at more recipes. I've mastered my rolls. I just need to make them more.  I also wanted to learn how to make char siu pork all on my own-then I could really host an Asian theme party well. I've mastered most of my Asian food. My Katsu was really good when I made it about a week ago.

My lemon chicken is the bomb too. David's orange chicken was good, I just didn't like that he just cooked the chicken. I like to marinade it first in chicken broth then get a cornstarch coating and fry it before sticking the sauce over it. I dust my shrimp in rice flour before I fry it. I never tried that with chicken. It would be great if it works with chicken. The coating is very thin and gives exactly the amount of coating I like. Chinese restaurants make lemon chicken a lot. Maybe Panda made orange chicken so popular. I think it's the same thing only with different flavors. He makes good soup it tastes like what the restaurants serve-lotus flower soup I think-some sort of flower. I need to make sushi once a month too. I tried to find nori at Smith's and they were out. I wonder where I can buy tobiko. I like the tobiko Tokai Sushi for U uses. Now I'm just making myself hungry. I'm going to flavor the roast I have-I have a lot of it-soy sauce, brown sugar, garlic and onions. let it sit in that then fry it up. Maybe I've just been spoiled. Hawaiian meat is the best. Asian influenced BUT I still think it tastes best.

It's karaoke time YES our holiday tradition. I wonder how my neighbors are feeling right now with all this noise. The younger ones decorated sugar cookies I bought. I have nieces and nephews running up and down the stairs. They really like the stairs.

I had absolutely NOOO energy today. I don't like how my roast turned out NOOO it was NOT like butter. I need to figure out how to do it right. My scalloped potatoes turned out great as did my honey glazed shrimp cashew. It took FOREVER to peel the shrimp. I HATE pre-cooked shrimp. It doesn't have the taste shrimp can have if you cook it yourself. I finished cooking my rice. I was going to fry it BUT the kids seemed hungry AND they ate more than the potatoes. They REALLY are Poly kids.

I looove my nieces and nephews. They are great children. They ran all over my house but nothing was out of place really. My niece tried to replace my lightbulb but my dumb vaulted ceilings are too high for her and I don't have a ladder. She is 6 feet tall and towers over George. Sooo my bedroom remains in darkness. I forgot to get him to put the cover on my bathroom light. Lack of sleep = everything slows down-my thinking anyway. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't have forgotten that. Someone left a 100-piece puzzle here. Karaoke was well underway when my neighbors began pounding on the wall. George got annoyed BUT it was time for him to make the long drive anyway. That was around 6pm. Neighbor, GET REAL!!!

I had rice crackers, tortilla chips, nacho cheese and candy and cream puffs for them to munch on. My table was perfect for them. Ochi and Maria like to talk to me about everything and stuff I don't understand. I'm glad I bought the sugar cookies and sprinkles. They really enjoyed decorating the cookies. That is such a fun age.

I'm going to go upstairs and begin another time waster Korean drama. I need to call my mother.

I wore my ugly boots and ventured out into the SNOWY weather. I started with Sam's club where I bought 4 metal folding chairs, rice, a roast, milk, a couple of white tablecloths, spinach, snickers ice-cream bars and I couldn't resist the super-size ferrer rocher. MY FAVORITE American chocolate. After hauling everything to my car I got to scrape all the snow off. Smith's was next where I bought potatoes, shrimp, ground pork, margarine, butter, garlic and carrots. After Smith's I went to the dollar store to buy a couple of trays for tomorrow. I bought some rice crackers then I decided to get popcorn bags and make my nieces and nephews mochi crunch popcorn to snack on. I also went to Maceys where I bought my egg roll wrappers, some sugar cookies for my nieces and nephews to decorate and some sparkling soda stuff.

It's so nice to be home. I'm going to make my own rolls just because I didn't go get them. I spent about 250 today. The chairs and table made it much more expensive than it had to be. I wrote a list but I still bought stuff I hadn't planned on. I think I'm getting better but I still have to be better about spending my money.

This is my second Korean drama for me to watch that includes a couple of players. Players are fine, dress well, AND know how to say all the right things. The problem is they are full of crap and you can never tell if they are ever sincere.

That is the redeeming characteristic David has-He can be so clueless and a complete jerk BUT I think he's honest-as much as he's ready to be anyway. He's definitely NOT a player or he wouldn't say the things he has.

I put a chair in the bathroom but I'm still not tall enough. If I tip-toe on a chair I can reach the screws. I pulled the cover off and now I just need to change the lightbulbs. I'm going to wait for George to put the case on with the screws. And there was light!!!

I need to clean my kitchen. Tomorrow's going to be a long day for me. I ALWAYS have to eat saimin whenever I watch a Korean Drama. They always eat noodles of some sort and make me hungry for it.

I hope this goes well tomorrow.

Sam's Club
chairs
roast
asparagus
frozen cheesecake
check ground pork price
rice
chocolate cake

egg roll wrappers
shrimp
ground pork
potatoes
margarine for baking
butter for scalloped NOT mashed potatoes I'm trying
root beer
oyster sauce
4 carbonated peach water Walmart
spinach
Chips

ice-right before they come-Maverick run.

I'm going to start cooking tomorrow.  I'm making and freezing my no-bake cookies then I just have to take them out on Christmas. Easy peasy-that and cream puffs are going to be my sweet finger food. I'm also going to roll my egg rolls so all I have to do on Christmas is fry them. If I make my glazed cashew shrimp, fried rice and potatoes all I'll have to do is heat them up in those aluminum pans. I need to pick up a couple of those at the dollar store.

I was trying to download LDS gospel on my Nook but the icon appeared at first when I hooked it up. Now it disappeared. VERY ANNOYING!!! I'm going to try to figure it out first, THEN I'm going to enlist my brother's help since he's visiting. My lightbulb in my bathroom went out as did my front foyer light. Both have low ceilings so I should be able to take care of that before my brother and his family get here.

I think I finally figured out what my mother's problem is-she doesn't mind going to George's house because then I'm driving and if she has to ask me to stop for her to use the bathroom she's fine with that. She doesn't feel comfortable doing that with my sister-in-law or her grandkids. I laid on the guilt-trip pretty thick. She told me first that she loved me and that if she didn't come I shouldn't think that. I told her I did think that and if she didn't come it was BECAUSE she didn't love me.

I don't want her to feel uncomfortable but I want to see her at my house AND I want her to have fun AND be with her family on Christmas. If I figured this out before I would go and pick her up then take her home later. MAYBE I should STILL pick her up TONIGHT.

Devin helped me move my table-it was very quick. It is the perfect size. I bought what I thought was a cloth tablecloth at family dollar. It is plastic with felt-like stuff underneath so it doesn't fall off a surface. I'll go to Walmart for a white tablecloth tomorrow. I'll buy something to decorate it too. I finished another LOOONG Korean drama. 

Today Devin my Elder's Quorum president is helping me move my banquet table from this couple I bought it from. I'm going to buy chairs today too from Sam's club and just start setting it up in my living room. My menu I came up with-rootbeer pot roast, garlic mashed potatoes, rolls from Golden Coral. I need some sort of vegetable. I like asparagus I'll just fry it with garlic, oil and pine nuts. I can also make a fresh spinach salad. I need to call them first and make sure they're open Christmas or Christmas Eve. Fried rice, honey glazed shrimp and egg rolls. I'm just buying carbonated peach water and the other fountain I have will just have cut up lemons and ice with water. I'll also get some sparkling apple cider or pomegranate stuff. It all looks good. I'll get some cheesecake from Sam's Club too. I wonder if they have key lime like Costco in Salt Lake City.

I need to find that musical Christmas program we did at Noe and Brent's house last year. It's strange that I won't be seeing my extended family. I still need to find some alternative to making gingerbread houses. Maybe I'll just do that OR find a recipe for gingerbread and just decorate men and whatever  shapes I can find. Cookie decorating is a lot less messy and involved. Today and monday are the only days I have for planning this. I'm going to buy those creampuffs from Sam's Club too. That'll go well with my no-bake cookies AND I can keep them frozen until then.

I'm very excited now to host this thing!!! I'm going to drive over to the theater today too to see if the 3 dollar place is open and what time it begins.

Tonight I made chicken katsu and the last of my rice for dinner. I'm full and I have more than enough for tomorrow for my breakfast. If I just cook more it'll become easy to make all my favorite dishes AND perhaps I'll quit being so homesick AND save money in the process.

I'd like to learn how to make coco puffs and long johns too. I am really full now. I need to figure out my bills for tomorrow.

Lots to do but that's fine!!! I asked Mike who coordinated our secret Santa AND he doesn't know who received what name. I got a pretty scented candle last night and I feel bad my person hasn't received anything yet. He is researching it however so hopefully it will be resolved and I can give my person their gifts SOON.

I'm going to buy some sort of Christmas thing for my nieces and nephews to put together. I saw these candy-cane/chocolate bar sleds that were really cute. Some sort of Christmas craft for them to do. The graham cracker houses are too involved. Maybe if I can get some of those kits they sell and have them assemble houses then we could set up a village and take pictures.

Between that, taking pictures downtown, and singing-that should be nice and Christmasy for everyone!!! I need to buy some last minute gifts too and put them under my tree. I think I'll buy myself a jewelery tree and wrap it up for myself!!!

What a difference a day makes. I'm taking next week off work BUT I'm not going anywhere it'll just give me time to get ready for Christmas. That's on Tuesday. Time is moving too fast. I had a nice conversation with my boss. I want everything to be good and it is. I told her about the PCC reunion in September. I'm just going to keep everything the way it should be-great!!!

I can't find my phone. VERY IRRITATING!!!

I finally called my dean. She is very nice. It helps to work for Stevens-Henager College because I do have a direct line to her. She has been very helpful to me thus far, but I do have to give up my pipe dream of graduating this year. It is what motivated me to get this far so for that it's a good thing BUT it is annoying that I'll have to change my LinkedIn Profile to reflect that.

One of the women I visit teach is working or rather NOT working on her thesis. She told me not to worry about graduating in 2013 and that everyone has to go through the bureaucracy process. The year I finished my MLS is the year they decided to do something called progress review. I had to assemble projects and demonstrate how I met the schools' desired outcomes. In addition to submitting work I had to write a 3-page essay answering 3 general questions the Library School felt were essential. That was a breeze. A committee of 5 judged all progress reviews. When I completed progress review they passed me, praised my writing BUT said I needed practical experience.

That's when I furiously started looking for a job in the field which is when I got the job as a librarian substitute with Salt Lake County. I was lucky because I initially wanted the customer service position BUT the personnel lady called one of the managers who was my reference teacher who gave me an A for her class. She told the personnel lady to have me fill a librarian spot. Usually substitute librarians must have their MLS first. My father in heaven has just blessed me all over the place.

I had a yucky day yesterday so NO MORE!!! I am grateful that I live so close to work and don't need to hit the freeway to get there. My door was frozen shut this morning. I FINALLY got it open through the other door BUT then it wouldn't close!!! So I held it closed AND drove slowly to work. I COULDN'T get it to shut so I had to run down there later to do that. If this happened in Salt Lake I wouldn't be able to go anywhere because any library in Salt Lake I can't get to without hitting the freeway and there's no choice BUT to drive fast there.

I got the bunch of books from my car from the Logan Library. I'm going to have to start using the shelves inside to get my books figured out.

I missed seeing David last night at FHE. That is my messed up idiodic thoughts!!! What is wrong with me!!! The snow should give me darker thoughts and they do when I sit here and think he's probably on the beach right now!!! Mindie said hi and said they missed me at FHE last week. I just told her I was in my little thesis cave. I haven't heard back from my committee at all and my friend Katie who did her Ph.D. online through Kapela University told me it took her 2 months after her dissertation was turned in for them to FINALLY confer her degree. What the L???!!!

It's going to be a good day because I CHOOSE for it to be that way!!!

We're doing secret Santa at work. I don't know who I have and I got the envelope-WITHOUT a name inside. Despite that I got a beautiful green bottle of sparkling grape juice that looks like a champagne bottle. It is slippery outside and full of snow. My hands are full and while I don't slip on the snow I drop my bottle on the side of my car which cracks and makes a mess. I leave and I want to cry but I don't YET. I still feel like crying now. I asked my assistant what she did for lunch before I came and she just never took a lunch. YEAH NOOO!!!

My corporate boss emailed me a librarian opening at BYU-yeah good BUT how the hell am I going to take that job AND owe Stevens-Henager College 27,000 for my MBA which has YET TO BE CONFERRED. Are they trying to let go of me now since accreditation is done? At the end of December we should be non-profit. AWESOME but still not public. If we were public and or a state school my work would ALSO chip away at my school loans. I think I have about 40,000 and that was just from library school. I never had a loan for my undergraduate school. The Dean didn't email me OR my capstone coach. I know my director doesn't like that she has to pay people to cover my lunch hour.

FHE is on right now. I wanted to go. I'm just NOT feeling very cheerful. I know it's what my father in heaven would have me do. Maybe it'll make me feel better. I'm going late and I'm going to try to formulate a plan for how to deal with Sharla.

FHE was alright I talked to Gina about my prom/wedding dress fashion show idea. It would be a good fit. That's right I have to make that paper!!!

Why the L don't they let me know if I can have an I yet? Freakin snow. BAD MOOD. Returned the damn Christmas lights. I came out and the snow was falling and not the nice soft falling, falling like rain. My director told me my lunch relief people have been reporting me taking more than an hour at lunch repeatedly. Instead of telling me this a long time ago they kept records and sprung it on me. I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED ON EACH OCCASSION AND IT FRANKLY TICKS ME OFF. I ASKED HER WHY PEOPLE COULDN'T JUST TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS MONTHS AGO BUT SHE SAID IT'S SOMETHING I SHOULD JUST KNOW. SO I SIGNED THE DAMN STATEMENT. I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO ARGUE ANYMORE. I THINK MY BOSS IS GREAT. I'M NOT SURE WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM. PROBABLY BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK FOR ME NOW SO I CAN TAKE A LUNCH HOUR. BEFORE I WOULD JUST LEAVE. IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE NEVER LEAVING. IT IS SO DAMN ANNOYING.

It's busy but nothing taxing. It's a new module which means students need new books but it's fine because I took care of this before I left. I'm eating my loco moco for breakfast, I have some cranberry juice and some grapes too. Ginny Tremayne emailed me back to my work email despite asking her specifically to email my gmail account. At least I have a little more data in case I need it.

I can make either chicken katsu or chicken teriyaki for lunch BUT I think I'll finish my loco moco thing first. I have a frozen whopper I bought last week. I wrapped 2 of them in foil Saturday night because Sunday was their last day of a 55 cent whopper with any whopper purchase. My mother did this once with a cheeseburger and it was good. I hope this is the same. I just wrapped it in foil before I froze it. My loco moco is awesome. instead of a patty however the teri hamburger is mixed in with my rice. I fried a couple eggs this morning and stuck that on top then I poured gravy over it. I just heated it in the microwave-perfect!!!

I can recreate most of the food I miss so I don't know why I'm so homesick. O.K.-yeah the SNOW can do that to me. It's pretty if it just wasn't wet AND cold or made the roads slippery when I drive, I'd be fine. It's not like I drive anywhere. It doesn't feel like christmas unless I go to temple square and see the lights. I just don't want to drive. Main street has some lights. I'm just going to make it work. I'm NOT driving to SLC this month.                                                 

I fried my hamburger and I made rice earlier. I seasoned my hamburger with onions, soy sauce, brown sugar and garlic then I mixed it with my rice. I ate some and it just tastes like loco moco without the egg and gravy.

Tomorrow morning I will add the egg and gravy for my loco moco breakfast. I am seriously Hawaii-deprived.

I am stuffed. I need to workout tomorrow. Time to plan that now. Just slacking!!! Seriously tomorrow is the start of my Zumba-thing. My new goal is April since I'm so very NOT FIT right now. Life is so exciting. Zumba here we go!!!

I'm going to call the dentist they recommended to me. I'm glad I have my big flex spending account. I wanted to replace the lenses in my glasses AND maybe get a new pair too. Dermatologist for some skin tags on my neck. My dermatologist in Salt Lake told me just some people are more susceptible to them and they don't know why. Annoying.

By April I want to be Zumba-certified and teach my first class. Maybe it'll be free at first. As I build my clientele and feel good about changing it up I can move to working for a gym then eventually hold my own classes to maximize how much I make. This is good timing because I want to look good in September at PCC's alumni show. I want to look good still. I've seen some of my PCC crew. Many of them still look great. Many don't however.

I want to look amazing and document my mother and I. I wonder who I'll see there. It's great we can have our mother-daughter PCC story. I looove it!!!

Nice Sunday-Jonni and I met with both of our people. I missed the last two of my Institute classes when  I started working on finishing my thesis. I'm sooo glad I'm done with it even if I have to go through the annoying bureaucracy now.  They may not let me complete everything this month but I sure as hell am going to try.

I saw Nolan in Sunday school. He asked me why I missed FHE. I told him I needed a break. He said FHE is a break. Actually I needed to work on my thesis. I asked what we were doing tomorrow since I didn't get a program although I got there right in time for the opening song. He didn't get a program either. We always have combined activities the 3rd Sunday. Jonni said we're making gingerbread houses. That's perfect. It's exactly what I wanted as part of my decorations for Christmas. This'll give me some practice. I did this with my mentees at the Asian Association years ago. I want maybe a couple for my nieces and nephews when they get here. If it's not too hard to do that'll be one of our activities. Half of my chicken is marinating for katsu and the other half is marinading in shoyu, rice wine vinegar, brown sugar, sesame oil, garlic and onions. I'm going to fry it in the marinade.

There's a musical fireside going on now at the stake center but I want to be ready for work tomorrow. I haven't been there for awhile AND I have a bunch of books I got from the Logan library that are sitting in my car. It's a new module on Monday so I need to make sure I'm there on time.

I was thinking about David today because it's Sunday AND it was snowing and he's soaking up the sunshine in Hawaii. GRRR... It's not like he did anything wrong  BUT REALLY!!! How the hell did that happen. Of all the places his parents have to live in, they live in Hawaii!!! Why the L am I in Logan!!! Maybe if I just pretend he's in Oregon instead. I am sooo missing Hawaii and he gets to be there now.

AT LEAST I'm going there in September. I found these condos at Turtle Bay-that place has so many memories for me. They are cheap as in 140-160 a night. I want to own a condo at Turtle Bay. I don't want to live in Hawaii but I want to go there on frequent vacations. PCC's reunion is from September 1st through the 8th. There are many former employees who live in Utah so they are making special flight arrangements. I hope they come up with a killer deal. It is PCC's 50th anniversary. They are having 2 alumni shows-1 for the first 25 years and 1 for the 2nd.

It is seriously amazing that my mother and I both worked there. My mother went to Japan with the first promo tour. She's in a movie with Elvis too along with a bunch of people I know-it's a movie he filmed at PCC called Paradise Hawaiian Style. When she was dancing Elvis knelt in front of her. She told me she was embarrassed and told Elvis she was dating my dad who was there on the side when this happened. My brother danced there for a minute too when he was interested in some annoying girl who used to work there. I'm VERY glad I wasn't there then. My dad also worked there backstage when we first moved back to Hawaii from Tonga.

It was truly a blessing to work there. If I hadn't I never would've learned to dance Tongan. My mother taught me Hawaiian and Tahitian but I never had anyone to teach me Tongan. It's not like my dad would or could do that although he could dance Tongan very well he couldn't dance how the women did. What a blessing that was to me. I love dancing and I know I have some serious skills there because I did dance there for 3 1/2 years. Performing every day several times a day in front of tourists AND smiling were all a lot of fun. Getting paid to do something I loved was the icing on the cake.

All of that was so much fun. It's part of the reason why I want to be a Zumba instructor. Performing and moving your body is a blast and I would like to do that again AND get paid for it.

I really am blessed. I just have to quit thinking of the snow outside. Who gets to be a paid to be a Polynesian dancer starting in Jr. High and then continuing UNTIL she graduates from high school? I know I'm lucky. Who gets to do that at the top visitor attraction in the state AND works for a company owned by the church? Our line up and cast meetings began with prayer every night.

My life has just been one blessing after another. I am grateful. Sometimes it's easy to forget.

I finished cutting ALL my lights off my tree and strung My lights. I opened one of the boxes I just bought and it was WRONG-white instead of green wires. Sooo I go to Smith's where I bought the lights in the first place and they don't have what I need AND customer service is closed so I go to the other Smith's Marketplace-they tell me they don't sell the lights I want to return so it's just too bad for me, I look at the lights they have and they don't have what I need either. I check Walmart where they only have outside lights. So I go back to Smith's where I started. They have 60 instead of 100 with the green wire. I get the whole tree done BUT now I learn they are white LCD lights meaning half of my tree is bright white and the other half looks yellow now. I decide I'm waiting for next year. I'm sick of shopping for lights. Now my tree is decorated again and I'm NOT changing it anymore!!!

I'm giving the lesson today for visiting teaching so I'm going to study the lesson now. It's not until 11 so I have some time now. I wish my thesis reviewer would contact me. I hope she couldn't find much to say. Whatever she does say I'm going to change quickly as in that day or the next. Taking long is going to be ALL on her and whoever else she gets to review my work.

One thing I didn't do was add more about things unique to Utah. Richard Clement said the new missionary age is going to cost USU 33 million over the next 3 years. Robert Shupe said the LDS culture is important for a director in Utah to be aware of just like any other cultural thing anywhere else.

New week I go back to work for a week.

No word yet from my thesis reviewer. I've been cutting the lights off my Christmas tree and it's taking 4EVER. It's only 3ft tall. What's with the lights!!!

I need to finish that, clean up the lights and wire I cut up, restring my lights, put on ornaments and then I'll have my tree!!! ANNOYING!!!

My mother called me and convinced me to visit Hawaii with her for PCC's 50th reunion. It sounds like fun-it's something my mother and I share. When I was a little girl I always wanted to dance at PCC when I grew up. I never thought it would allow me to learn to dance Tongan or that my dad's friend would be the reason why I worked there or that I would've started dancing when I was in JR high.

My reviewer emailed me and said she will be providing me with detailed instructions and requested revisions. I am supposed to complete these and submit it for her to send it to be reviewed by someone else. -FINALLY I get to provide them with 2 hardbound copies of my thesis AND be awarded the MBA. GRRR!!! She said she estimates it will take me 8-10 weeks to complete this process.

I specifically asked the lady I've been communicating with-Business Dean Heather Gunn to enroll me AND give me an I so I can complete the thesis AND have my graduation listed as December 2012. I guess it shouldn't be such a big deal to me BUT it is!!! I HOPE she let's me do that!!! I didn't work like a crazy woman earlier this week just to be told NOOO you will graduate in 2013.

I couldn't view the specific school requirements for my thesis when I completed it because I had to furnish her with evidence that I done substantial work-Unfortunately I had to DO substantial work-BUT I knew I could AND DID!!!

I thought I solved my Christmas light dilemma until this row decided to go out on me. That's NOT going to work when my brother and his family come over so I bought 3 boxes of mini-white Christmas lights. I'm going to do what Mike said to do in the first place. I'm going to take off my decorations, and the lights I bought. When that's done I'm cutting the old lights off then stringing what I have. I hope the 5 boxes of 100 mini lights each will be enough. If it's not I know where to go to get more. This is still a better solution than getting a new tree.

This is what I get to do. At least everything else is decorated. I still need a nativity scene but not enough to actively look for one. I plan to look right AFTER Christmas for next year. I'm going to buy some rice, nori and green onions to make half of the chicken I bought into Kalbi. The other half I'm turning into Katsu. That'll take care of my Hawaiian cravings. If I just make it all the time I won't spend money at Mo Bettah Steaks.

I think I just need to find out how much the bulk shrimp is at Sam's club and get it with chicken each month and keep that supplied. It'll cut down on my food expenses. If I can get to the point that I just eat out twice a month NOT at any fast food place I'll be doing good. Another one of my goals!!! I need to make some steamed pot stickers too. I have a great steamer at home. David told Sarah her pot stickers were the best-yeah he never had mine!!! I need to make either pot stickers or egg rolls for Christmas. I think egg rolls are going to be it. My menu that is forming in my head-egg rolls, honey-glazed cashew shrimp, some sort of pork or beef roast, garlic-infused mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, cranberry celebration from Smith's I almost bought some last night but I didn't want to spend 3.99 on that small little container-BUT-it's sooo good!!! I think I'll make some spam fried rice too. Then I'll have my Asian influence plus normal Christmas food. I think I'll order a cheesecake from Angie's and get a chocolate silk pie from Village Inn. Those pumpkin cheesecake rolls are good too. I'm going to try Josh's idea of getting rolls from Golden Corral too.

I want to make one of those gingerbread or rice krispy candy houses I've seen on Pintrest. I know the younger kids would enjoy eating it. I need to buy or make cookies too, What's Christmas without cookies. I make the best white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. I haven't made them in about 2 years. Now I'm thinking I should make popcorn balls too.

I'm NOT buying a ham OR turkey-that was Thanksgiving-this is Christmas. Lamb is yummy. They have a lamb farm that sells fresh butchered lamb and wool in newton. I'm not going to be that adventurous-fresh lamb is probably delicious BUT no not just yet. I want to perfect what I enjoy eating first. Thanks to living in Tonga it doesn't freak me out to eat lamb. My grandmother would always serve a Chinese marinated duck at Christmas. Despite her doing that EVERY year I still couldn't eat it. She always provided an extra one for us to take home. My dad wouldn't even eat it and his village is known for eating horse. So my mother would eat the duck by herself every year.

I have that musical Christmas program. I can mail it to George and have Noelani bring and play her keyboard. We can do that, take pictures at the tabernacle and temple if the gates are open AND see a movie. I think that's enough Christmas activities.

The shrimp was delicious BUT it was served with so much butter-it was like a butter soup. Jonni was so sweet to take me there. Calloways however IS NOT as great as everyone says. Elements still tops my list of restaurants in Cache Valley. I also enjoy Mo Bettah Steaks, Cafe Sabor, Takara AND strangely-Angie's. I like Aggie's ice-cream the best AND the peach pie at Maddox is to die for.

I need some ice-cream and I still haven't gone shopping yet. I'm going to make a smith's run for ice-cream. They usually have the best prices. It was so sweet and nice of Jonni to take me to dinner at Calloways. She is very good to me.

She talked about visiting Emilee and her husband who now manage a ranch out in Wyoming in the middle of nowhere. She talked about how much fun she had. She said it would be fun to take a group out there. That isn't my idea of fun. As much as I love Jonni, I wouldn't want to do that. It's like when Helene would tell me about her adventures in the wilderness and of how much she loved that. I would tell her that would be a nightmare to me. That type of isolation freaks me out. That is NOT what I'd want to do. I want to be near a city where I can go to lots of great restaurants AND have great entertainment at the same time. Ballets, symphonies, musicals and plays I LOVE but I ALSO REALLY love dancing and contemporary entertainment including concerts and art museums.

ICE-CREAM is calling me from Smith's. I'm heeding the call.

Nice orthodontist!!! They have stuff like invisilign only a different vendor so it'll be waaay cheaper. I only have to use the stuff for 4-6 months. Nice. He told me it'll be a persistent problem however and I have to wear a retainer at night to prevent the same thing from happening again. After insurance kicks in it'll be 450 which will still leave me 2050 to use from my flex spending account. He found two cavities and referred me to a dentist. So I'll do all my dental work which should take care of some of my flex spending. I'm also going to see the dermatologist I saw last year. Sooo next year is my health and vitality year.

Jonni's taking me to dinner tonight. She doesn't like seafood and it's my favorite. I wonder where we're going. It's very nice of her. She always maintains our friendship. I need to return the favor more. I'm kind of a loner. I need to quit being that way so much. I just don't trust people very much.

What about some thesis feedback???!!! I know I just turned it in last night BUT I'm excited to find out. Her last email to me has her telephone number which I plan to use if I don't hear from her by 1pm. My vacation is fantastic!!!

I have an appointment today at 2:15pm for those invisalign brace things. Chris told me his orthodontist when he was growing up was right by the temple and this office is there too. I think I'll have the same one. I didn't do Zumba this morning AND I'm not going to until next week. I have to squeeze out every last drop of my vacation. I need to find another Korean time waster.

My kitchen's clean but I do need to do some laundry. I need to go grocery shopping too. I went to Mickey D's last night. It cost me $8 because along with my Big Mac value meal I tried a holiday pie and chocolate sundae-sooo NOOOT worth $8. I need to get some skinless boneless chicken thighs and rice. Cheaper AND tastes better. I need some shrimp too. I am out of my paper-writing junk food mode. It's just fun to be in that mode sometimes.BUT I am SICK of drive-throughs right now.

I'm laying down watching stuff on my laptop. I can get cable now!!! BUUUT I'm going to wait for my flat screen first. I'm buying myself my sectional AND a flat screen for myself for finishing my MBA. Next year if I make my goal of 50k I'm getting myself an SUV. It'll be used but beautiful AND have a killer sound system AND have 4-wheel drive.

I'm not buying anything until I get my paper diploma with the MBA posted. I'm going to get all my degrees framed and posted like my Director wants me to do ALSO my Medical Library Level 1 certification. I wonder what I should post first on my email signature. My librarian friend posts her MLS first. Puanani Mateaki, MLS,  MBA. -that looks good!!! It isn't true until they confer it. Hurry up!!!

I'm watching mindless television!!! I hope they don't ask me to make any changes but whether they do or don't I just really want them to confer my MBA in 2012. It went longer than I thought it would but now I'm finally DONE!!!

I just may start a Korean Drama!!!

It's after 2am and I am sleeping BUT I'm going to finish this thing tomorrow!!! Sooo excited to turn this monster in!!! Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love U tomorrow!!! It's only a day away!!!

ANNOYING, slow-moving thesis work!!! I just took a break watching Hawaii-Five-O MORE tedious work coming up. I must just watch that show to feel worse that I'm in snowy Logan. I do feel worse.

Especially because I DON'T WORK THIS WEEK!!!

It's all about the MBA now. I waited until midnight to go to the store. It reminded me of when I went to the Y and EVERYONE shopped at that time. Busy stores in Happy Valley after midnight. BUUUT Walmart was deserted. So I bought enough food for a couple days of intense studying time or rather compiling this monster.

I got home after doing my shopping and decided to go to sleep. Sooo I'll work today.

I LOOOVE DAYS LIKE THIS!!!

I just wore my sweater in what is definitely coat weather. Bishop talked about reading the scriptures and then sister Johnson was talking to us about dating and trying to encourage the men to take the women out. She said not to worry about spending money on their dates. I was in the front and I said NOOO worry. She told me that's why I'm not married. I told her she's right. She was so worried about offending me later. She said there's nothing wrong with just taking the girls to get an ice-cream cone at Maceys I told her YES there is something wrong with that.

She was so worried about offending me BUT I told her I was completely fine with people knowing that about me. So everyone in our ward is over 30. REALLY you can't afford to take me to dinner or ANYWHERE??? Going on a date is the least of your problems. YES that is why I'm still single BUT I don't really have a problem with that. If no one can do that they should really stay away from me.

It was nice to talk to David again although it wasn't very long or about anything really. I miss him and I want to repair our relationship but it isn't time right now for me to do that. I hope he has a nice time with his family even if I am jealous he'll be in Hawaii while I remain here in frigid Northern Utah. I'm excited to attend his class whenever that'll be-in January maybe-he has to actually be in the state to teach a class. Lucky boy. I wish I were going on a Hawaiian vacation now. MBA, MBA, MBA-sooo it's alright. SACRIFICE NOW, PLAY LATER!!!

I may stay up late tonight just to work on this after midnight. Someone left a flyer for a ward Christmas party in my door. It's very sweet but yeah I have a ward thank you very much. I think I'm going to start another Korean Drama because the time is going by like a snail. I need luncheon meat, bread and maybe a frozen pizza or 2. Shrimp. Yeah I think Walmart needs me to visit it before midnight.

Throughout this entire program I've done homework on Sunday. I'm trying NOT to do that with my thesis. I have all the information I need it's just a matter of compiling everything. I have the entire next week off which is why I'm going to attend the bishop's fireside tonight.

It is tough not to do my homework today BUT I want my father in heaven to bless me so I need to do my part. I asked my Samoan friend in the ward if he watched the Heisman ceremony last night. He said Manti needs to quit bearing his testimony. I DON'T think that. I think it's amazing when he does that and I'm glad he can do that.

I just want to be done!!! My uncle borrowed 110 from me which I gave to his daughter who took it to his wife-a fifty and 3 twenties. His daughter came to pay me back with 90-a fifty and 2 twenties. I'm not going to say anything. What if he didn't realize how much I gave him or what if I only really gave him 90???!!! ANNOYING!!! I'm not going to say anything about it. I paid my tithing so I know I'll be alright.

David is going to Hawaii again this year. NO FAIR!!! He can't appreciate it the way I would. He doesn't know where to go and he'll be hanging out in Kauai anyway. AHHH!!!

I REALLY need to go on a trip. I need to start planning for next year when the rates go down. When I go to Hawaii I'm definitely spending my time in Waikiki AND the North Shore-restaurant row, Aloha Tower Marketplace, The Art museum in honolulu. Ward Warehouse. I need a trip home!!! I won't eat ANYTHING I can get here either the entire time. I want to try Kingsley's family's restaurant in Kahuku now Tita's Grill-Garlic shrimp, Hee Hing Chinese restaurant in Waikiki below Sam Choy's AND of course Sam Choy's, dim sum ALWAYS available along with musubi at 7-11 or any other convenience store, meat jun at the Korean restaurants, kal bi, malasadas, guava chiffon cake, haupia cake, chantily cake, long johns, coco puffs!!! Hawaii really has the best food. Rice with everything NOT potatoes.

I'm the one who decided she didn't want to drive so I'll be in Logan this entire month. Yea for me!!! I think I'm going to make a roast in my crock pot. I think I'll try one for practice after this MBA is conferred. CAN'T freakin!!! wait. I need to go to Lowes or Home Depot and see if they sell banquet tables and chairs so I can seat my family I invited.

I'm still so proud of him. He is the most decorated college football player now and is destined for a fine career in the NFL. He lost both his girlfriend AND his grandmother within hours of each other then went on to play against Michigan State missing both of their funerals and burials. His attitude is stellar. Heavenly Father has an amazing mouthpiece for the gospel now. All from an LDS boy who didn't go on a mission OR go to BYU. He used prayer AND continues to use it to make all of his decisions. He honors his parents, his culture AND his faith.

I feel the loss of this award. He deserved it very much. I feel like I did when Romney lost BUT this is more personal because my entire community loved him and wanted him to get what he deserved. AND he will be great in the NFL for a long time. Romney would have done so much for the nation. Manti wouldn't but I still feel the loss. I don't know him and it's not like Brian and I were best buds or anything. His uncles were too old for me to know.

I just don't doubt how much our father in heaven loves him and plans to use him as an instrument. He already has. He has inspired so many young boys to dream farther, to believe it is possible to attend school past the Western states. He is an amazing ambassador. Me in my judgmental little world think he didn't need to pray about serving a mission he should've gone because he is supposed to do that. Having parents that did not see this as important would not influence him to see that as essential as someone else. I wouldn't pray about serving a mission. My brother wouldn't. We know it is a commandment for every man to serve a mission. As a woman I am the one that gets to pray BUT in my family it was pretty clear too. If you aren't dating anyone seriously when you turn 21, you need to go, there is no question.

When Manti received his answer not to go I think heavenly father knew how he could have a positive influence on people if he didn't go. I don't think his immediate family would've supported him in this decision either.

If I met David a long time ago when he was say 22 and hadn't served a mission I wouldn't have given him the time of day because of that. I still don't like that he didn't serve one until he was 24 but Pres. Hunter never served one at all. Neither did President Monson. It's was good for me to learn that. I didn't really associate with anyone who didn't plan on and then serve a mission. It wasn't until I served one myself however that I learned missionaries come in all types.

I know what matters is how stalwart someone is now. I certainly don't want to be judged by my weaknesses and stupid choices I made in the past. Heavenly Father has blessed me so much and continues to bless me even when I am undeserving of that.

Manti Te'o NOT serving a mission is pretty huge for me. As great as he is and even though I know his circumstances AND that he prayed about it, I STILL don't want to accept that. I know I'm not the judge of the world. I just feel there is a depth and tutoring you receive on your mission that can't be gained anywhere else. I KNOW that's wrong however because if that was true Howard W. Hunter AND Thomas S. Monson NEVER would've been prophets. I need to feel that in my heart. I get to pray about something else my character needs to improve!!!

I love writing. I'm glad I do since it's time to synthesize and organize everything. AHHH!!! I need to go to the store but I'm not really in the mood. I think I'll spend more time writing.

I'm so excited for Manti Te'o. I really hope he wins the Heisman. Laie is having a huge block party for him today whether he wins or not. He's 21 now. In my head I wondered why he didn't serve a mission when in any interview he has he mentions how much prayer is part of his life and of how it led him to choose Notre Dame when he really wanted to attend USC. I read an interview he did with the Deseret News that says he prayed about serving a mission too.

I DON'T follow college or even NFL football AT ALL. I support Manti BECAUSE I went to school AND danced with his dad Brian along with Brian's older brothers Ephraim and Nephi at PCC. His dad got married soon after graduating from high school to his high school girlfriend who wasn't LDS at the time instead of serving a mission.

I was in color guard in marching band a year before I started dancing at PCC. I was in rifles-these rifles were covered in shiny stickers however-made especially for twirling and throwing in the air. I had fun doing this but given the choice to do that or dance was easy. THE POINT-I didn't know I had to attend EVERY football game since I was part of marching band. I'm probably the ONLY person that DIDN'T want to go. Kahuku football has an incredible tradition. We have MANY NFL players who attended Kahuku. Manti chose to attend the expensive private school downtown. I would send my kids there too. Despite that he's still from Laie. My old roommate Tiare STILL travels back to Hawaii along with many of my classmates when Kahuku has their championship state game.

I bought so much crap from the store. Junk food and paper writing are supposed to be synonymous right???!!! I need to turn in something beautiful on Monday.

I think 1 or 2 more interviews will make my thesis better. If I can just get Ginny Tremayne to email me and then see Ron Jenkins next week. I have enough to write everything this weekend however and then just add those two interviews in to make my paper stronger. Looove that this thing is FINALLY about done.

Manti Te'o's dad Brian is one of my friends on Facebook. It is neat to see pictures from all the different states he had to fly to for his awards. I think he was in 5 different states this week. He is such an amazing example and it is sooo neat to see him receive the accolades he has so far because through it all he remains humble. It is weird to see Brian. He used to be extremely attractive. Manti is alright but his dad in his heydey was super gorgeous. He looks like he's over 300 lbs now. I don't see any trace of his former super fine self.

Manti makes the church AND my culture look amazing. He is Hawaiian Samoan.

This morning I set my alarm for 9am so I'd be on time for my interview with Robert, the Director of the Logan Public Library. I enjoyed what he said. He told me he was painfully shy and that it wasn't until his mission to Denmark that this changed. He's been a public library director for over 22 years beginning first with Mohavi Community College in Arizona after which he became the local public library director. He served as the Arizona Library Association President too.

Richard Clement the USU Dean of Libraries was just as kind and interesting although his outlook on leadership is completely different. I'm so glad I selected this as my topic because speaking to these people has been so rewarding to me personally. That's why you should never write about anything you're not passionate about. That is drudgery.

I like Robert's attitude the best so far. He loves libraries, is aware of the pivotal role they play in society and of what they can do for a community. He told me he forces himself to attend committee meetings and to get involved because he knows this will help his library best. He wanted to serve his community more which is why he became a library director.

When I came home from my interview with Robert I couldn't stop thinking about how lucky I am to have ended up doing exactly what I love. I was so sure I'd be an attorney. Life took many twists and turns until I ended up here. I majored in English after my mission because I hated that my friends who hadn't served missions were now done with their Bachelor degrees. English has always been my easiest subject. I didn't even know English majors took different classes requiring them to read and analyze novels and poetry. After my mission I just wanted something quick and easy that would allow me to finish my BA quick so I could go to law school. My dancing/playing years before my mission did not leave me with impressive grades before my mission. I knew for a long time I wanted to go to law school. Before my mission I volunteered as a court orientation guide. I took classes of elementary school children on a tour of Honolulu county courts and then to sit in on a trial. The volunteer office asked me if I wanted to work for them so eventually I did both.

After my mission I went back to the same Volunteers in Public Service to the Courts Office and this time volunteered at the Supreme Court. It is the building in Hawaii Five 0 with the statue of King Kamehameha in the front. It was fun meeting judges and attorneys. They only convinced me more that this was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

Since my grades were not great before my mission I decided to attend the University of Utah, get a MPA or Master of Public Administration degree before applying for law school. They had a double MPA/JD program where many of the classes were sufficient for both. I'm not an idiot. I planned to take those classes that qualify in both programs, do extremely well and get the instructors to recommend me for law school after a year-in time for me to finish both degrees.

So since high school I've been convinced I'm going to be an attorney. I did not apply to the MPA program before moving to Utah. I lived with my cousin first then applied to school and talked to people in person who handle admissions. I don't doubt my ability to work any situation to my advantage but it usually is better when you can look into their eyes.

So I'm in the MPA program and I make sure I take constitutional law and administrative law along with two other MPA courses. I HAAATE both law courses and am wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do now that my grand scheme isn't going to be a grande scheme.

So I go home and try to figure out what the hell I want to do with the rest of my life. I take film and tv acting classes at the University of Hawaii and begin to work as a tutor at 2 different Korean Hogwans or learning centers common throughout Korea. I also work at a make up counter and begin my make up obsession. Later I become a lei greeter for a tour package hosting company. My BA in English doesn't qualify for anything I want to do and there is no way in hell I'm becoming a teacher although they make more money than the crap I'm making. Oh yeah I did make some money editing things for people at a company that would pay me $25 an hour. They consistently had me doing more writing for these mostly Asian students who were in Hawaii attending graduate school. I quit because it felt shadier and shadier-you could buy papers from that company.

I'm sick of Hawaii so I FINALLY plan to get another undergraduate degree in broadcast journalism at the University of Utah. I begin this but while working at Salt Lake County children's shelter I keep seeing these library management jobs posted at over 60,000 but with the MLS requirement. I find out about this and decide to stop the broadcast journalism thing to do it because I'm getting old and I need a master degree.

It wasn't until I began working in libraries that I started to catch the vision of librarianship. I always felt bad in school before this because I didn't have that passion many of my classmates had. I'm grateful I ended up here by accident however because I really love it and I don't think a lot of people can say that.

I finished my Korean Drama series Dream High. There are some fine Korean men out there. It is so dramatic and I cried like an idiot all over the place. It reminds me of Bollywood only they don't suddenly burst into song or start dancing. 1st day of my vacation is glorious!!! Jim Cooper emailed me. He is an extremely successful Director of the Salt Lake County Library System.

I went to Walmart earlier today before my lunch meeting and the cashier charged me the wrong amount. I tell him this but he says I need to go to customer service to get it resolved. I'm late for my meeting so I go AFTER work which is sort of alright since I need trash bags and I crave cranberry juice now.

Which is why instead of going STRAIGHT home to relax I'm at Walmart-I park near the customer service door and before I leave I see this cute teddy bear thing constructed with cases of soda that I HAVE to take a picture of AND while I'm doing that the Walmart associate HAS to lock the damn door so I get to walk out the north door and then take my cart with my umbrella across the parking lot.

If this is the biggest problem I have I'm doing great. My friend found out she has cancer about a month ago. She has 5 kids and the best attitude of anyone I've seen. I hung out with her in Tonga. I'm talking elementary school. Our parents went to BYU-Hawaii together when it was Church College of Hawaii. She is inspiring. She had to shave her head but now she has wigs and scarves she wears instead. She also takes pictures without her wigs and makeup AND she still looks fabulous. Probably because her smile is intact.

She is a nice reminder for me to get a grip on my "problems" and give it a rest. I'm so drained and wired at the same time. I have an interview with the director of the Logan library tomorrow. He was at my luncheon meeting where I reminded him that I was meeting with him tomorrow. I love how this is all coming together.

It's time for me to watch my Korean Drama Dream High!!!

This time it ISN'T planned. Judy needs to miss AGAIN tonight. She lets the Director know about an hour ago. Gee thanks a lot!!!

I left before my lunch meeting relief arrived because I needed to go to the store first. When I came back it looked like no one had even come in. I couldn't find Chris at all and Dale seemed to think he hadn't come in either.

Lunch at Angie's was surprisingly good. They just need to redecorate the place. The food is excellent. The quality is fantastic. It's like my favorite Chinese places in Salt Lake City-Little World and Ho Ho Gourmet. Excellent food but crappy atmosphere. The only one that has both is Hong Kong Tea House. I feel stuffed however. The hot chocolate had homemade whipped cream on top a giant mug. Why don't I ever do that for myself? Hot chocolate is sooo filling.

Frustrated so I did something about it-I called my assistant to see if she could work for me tomorrow which she is doing!!! ALSO I decided to take the entire week off next week so I can have ALL the time I need to FINISH  this MBA!!! Life is feeling A LOT better!!!

I'm going to enjoy my mini-vacation BUT I'm not going ANYWHERE this entire month!!!

No extended family parties for me this year. I need to let people know to email my gmail account so I don't come in here!!!

After working for what seemed like FOREVER. I went home and peeled and chopped up these potatoes so I wouldn't end up throwing them out. I didn't want to do that to them because my mother gave them to me and they aren't the normal cheap potatoes you can get for next to nothing at the grocery store. They are white although they are small and have pretty thin skin like red potatoes. I FINALLY finished this around 2am ALL while watching my Koream Drama-I NEEDED a break!!! I didn't need to stay up until AFTER 3am BUT once I started that I made this spam, potato, parmesean cheese and italian seasoning egg thing that was very good. I also cut up my apples and pineapple because I didn't want them going bad either. I have some oranges and clementines too. I never thought about cutting those up but I think I will to prevent these from going bad. I NEED to do grocery shopping!!!

I don't have ANY pasta in the house and I need some shrimp and I want some of those boneless chicken thighs from Sam's Club.

Lot to do today like everyday until this MBA is conferred. Jim Cooper just called me!!! He is the interview I REALLY wanted. His perspective in invaluable because he is a very successful library director who just has his MBA. I emailed him at the wrong address.

AND I have someone covering my 12pm luncheon meeting. I wonder if I'm up to cleaning the kitchen sink. Chris said Angie's is like Village Inn so I guess there'll be lots to choose from.

I'm sooo glad I finished that lit review!!! I'm going to read through it once to see if there are any glaring errors before sending it off. I just can't look at it right now. I met with Richard Clement today. He is very nice. I wanted to see if he'd speak at our CVLA meeting sometime. He actually greeted people when we had our meeting at the library. My interview was at 3:30 so I parked illegally where I did before when I dropped stuff off at the library. I just didn't want to have to walk there from so far away. As I suspected I DIDN'T get a ticket!!! I could've NEVER done that at the U or the Y parking nazis EVERYWHERE. I like the DMV here too. Actual benefits to living in the Dairyland.

When I asked Richard Clement what prepared him most for his role as the Dean of Libraries he said leadership is just something you either have or you don't, something innate. I believe that too although he tried to undermine one of my heroes-Stephen R. Covey. I looove Stephen R. Covey. He talked about some amazing library developments too. Since my thesis title is how to direct a library in Utah he figured out that is what I plan to do some day. He told me to become a director because it is fun to run things. I have to agree. I love being in charge of things. When I told him how the SL County director has an MBA and not an MLS he said, "but the MLS is the foundation."-LOOOVE THAT!!!

While a Forbes magazine article about my MLS was depressing, I looked at some salaries of the people I used to work with in Salt Lake County and I'd be alright with that ALTHOUGH now that I know how much the salaries can differ, of course I want one of the higher ones. I like public libraries. I like working and building relationships with the community. Although I love children, I DON'T want to be a children's librarian. After working in libraries, there is NOOO way in hell I'd EVER work in social services again. Working at the Christmas Box House with at-risk children was WORK. Why would I EVER do that again??? Being a librarian is the best job in the world.

Staying up on books, movies and technology is my professional development obligation. I feel like it ALL is stuff I need to do to make me a better information professional. The Mountain Plains library association needs an editor for its newsletter it puts out 6X a year. You need to send 5 published articles for evaluation. Sweet!!! Piece of cake. There is a stipend of I think $300 a newsletter. NOT a sizeable portion but AT LEAST it chips away at the 50,000 I want to make next year.

Life is AMAZING and I LOOOVE it!!!

Librarianship is the perfect blend for me of using your mind BUT it still allows you to

So my titles R cheesy!!! Jim Cooper DID NOT receive my email so it's playing phone tag today ALONG with my interview with Robert Clement. No one responded to my email yet. I spoke with Juliene Parish, Ginny Tremayne, and Steve Matthews from the state library. They all agreed to answer my email questions. I know I just sent it out yesterday. I just want this done right away.

I'm here until the bitter end or 9:30 pm. I get to leave from 2-5 BUT some of that will be used up visiting with Robert Clement. I'm going to park illegally by the fine arts and/or engineering building. I did that once to drop off CVLA invitations. There were spaces AND I didn't get ticketed. I only need about half an hour with Robert Clement so I should escape a ticket. Thankfully it isn't the U. They have parking Nazis there. I meet with Robert Shupe Thursday morning at 10am. Tomorrow is our CVLA nominating committee meeting at noon at Angie's. I told them I'm glad because I want to have the experience at least once of eating at Angie's and there's no way in hell I'm going on a date there.

I ordered my Thanksgiving pies there last year because someone at work told me they were good AND they were delicious-however-Walking in there to pick them up was like going through a time warp. I felt like I was in some 70s diner. It made me a little afraid to eat there at all. It's probably healthier than fast food BUT yeah NOOO!!!

I fell asleep in the middle of trying to finish my lit. review last night. I have about 5 sources left to finish. I hate it when I do that because I always have to wake up and take my contacts out before dropping off to sleep again. It makes it worse that I knew I'd have to be here ALL day today.

It's only 11 but I feel drained. NEVER agree to something when you need your strength. Tomorrow I'm NOT going to institute. I'm spending ALL my free time working on this damn thing. If I only REALLY worked at it each time I told myself I would but then ended up NOT. NOOO mercy tomorrow. I have to work ALL day for my assistant tomorrow. She has to take her husband into surgery. I'll get one break from 2-5 when I'll go to lunch, rest and prepare for and conduct my interview.

I still feel like screaming. I am grateful for this free MBA, I am grateful I have all my interviews scheduled, NOOO 1 with Ronald Jenkins AND I just left an email and voice mail with Jim Cooper. I am grateful this process is about done!!! Pay the price-I know it's worth it. I know this is my fault. I had from May to do this.

I have an appointment to see Richard Clement tomorrow at 3:30. He is the Dean of Libraries at USU and his office is at USU library. He worked at my graduate school alma mater Emporia State University. He has incredible experience in libraries AND in other academia in general. I set up 6 interviews today. If I see Ronald Jenkins it'll be 7-perfect for the 5-6 my Dean told me to get.

The English 98 teacher Marilyn asked me to cover her class for 45 minutes tonight. I agreed.

I have a lot more to finish. I have 26 sources. I'm about done cataloging them. This is taking sooo forever!!! I want to watch some of my Korean Drama. AHHH!!! I just want to scream!!! AHHHH!!!

Not really, it just sounds better than MBA Monday or rather MBA month. I stayed up watching a Korean drama and didn't get to bed until 2am. I was about to shut off my laptop and get ready for bed when Krista posted in Facebook that she was really scared. I tried to Facebook her/call her/text her to see if she needed anything but she didn't respond. I had a vision of her stranded somewhere. I hope she's alright.

Covey said independence is higher than dependence but not the optimal state. Interdependence is the ideal. Interdependence requires us to work together. I know this is why celestial marriage is a requirement for exaltation. Compromise isn't easy. I'm sure marriage refines our selfish natures. Effective, respectful communication is essential. If you allow yourself to be a doormat you can end up with resentment and hate. I know that through personal experience. People will always have things they disagree on. Interdependence is the best solution for business work. It only follows that it is the best state for your personal life. Even spiritually if we fail to involve the spirit and or use prayer in our decisions we will never make the best choices.

David helped me realize I'm not very good at this. I am used to guys letting me have my way all the time. David doesn't do that and this is something I like. I'm not unreasonable. Of course I want everyone to treat me like a queen, BUT REALLY if we just treat other people the way we want to be treated WITH RESPECT!!! that is more than adequate. There's enough I like about David that I am willing to work at this. I know I have diva tendencies BUT I don't get carried away even if I do have to check myself periodically. David's testimony is his best quality BUT he also is bright enough so I don't get bored talking to him or annoyed he doesn't catch something quick enough. David also helped me learn I NEED to talk about things I don't like as they occur or it will fester.

I am looking forward to improving my communication AND relationship with David. I know that's what my father in heaven wants and I know I need to try.

Since I'm cooking the main meal at Christmas and my family are visiting me here in Logan I also need to get cracking on that. AGAIN-first things first!!! MBA or BUST!!!

Fast Sundays are all about magnified emotions for me. I think I was given more than my fair share of the emotional stuff because I'm sitting here crying about nothing and everything and anything. I'm sure I'm start my period soon so I can quit feeling like an idiot.

I didn't see David in church today. I miss him but I don't really have anything to say to him either. His degree of jerkhood was truly phenomenal.

I still enjoy and miss his company. I just wish we could be NORMAL but since we met NOTHING has been normal about our relationship AT ALL. Funny-while I still think he's attractive, I know him well enough that it doesn't matter what he looks like anymore. That doesn't mean if I see him in an ugly t-shirt or tie I won't want to burn it. I still don't know how that happened. I feel like I lost one of my best friends. I don't have any friends as smart as him who also love the gospel, live it AND find school important too.

Actually I don't really get that school is all that important to him. I know he does well there and I know he wants his PhD but I feel like he was told by the spirit to get it but that he doesn't really see the need for it. I don't get that he wants to teach either. It is important to me that he get his PhD. I'm glad he has his master's degree now. I'm not sure why that is so important to me but it is.

In my research for my thesis I came across an article in Forbes magazine. It said the least-profitable master degree is library science. At the other end of the spectrum one of the most profitable is his-electrical engineering. An MLS is supposed to make an average of 60,000 mid-career. An electrical engineering master degree should bring in 110,000 mid-career. That is almost twice more. The MBA is supposed to earn between 70-150,000 by contrast. I don't want to just be a librarian. I like being in charge. I want to be a library director. The average salary for a library director nationwide is 91,000. Less than 100,000 but that is just an average. If make over six figures I'll be fine. When I have children however I don't plan on working outside the home.

I'll just have my Zumba business that'll be completely up to me as far as scheduling is concerned. Alisa has her own punchcards for her Zumba students. They are awesome!!!

I remember when I first met David and he was talking about being in school. I felt horrible because I thought he was getting his undergraduate degree.

I wish I was in Salt Lake to see the Christmas devotional. I don't want to drive there however. I'll watch it online instead. Not the same but better than nothing. My emotions have calmed down significantly.

I miss David very much and I want to be his friend again. I don't know how to do that but after my MBA is done that'll be where I turn my attention to next-that AND Zumba AND my Recycling formal dresses project. 2013 is the year for making 50,000 a year. I'm thinking David probably made around 75,000 a year when he was an engineer BUT it could've been more. I don't think he made 100k yet BUT again I could be wrong.

I FINALLY left my cave and went through McDonalds Drive thru and checked my mail. My scintillating thesis is Directing a Library in Utah. It HAD to be something I'm semi-interested in to write and weed through all that I did. I can't wait until this week is over. I've had to put off the completion until my interviews that I couldn't schedule until next week. I need to see if the Dean of Libraries at USU will meet with me-Ronald Jenkins, former library director works at the family history library Tuesday, I'll meet him there and schedule a time to meet with him. Robert the current Director meets with me Tuesday. I can set something up with the Richmond Director Juliene Parish and then Maybe Ginny Tremayne in Hyrum. Finally I'm going to talk to SL County director Jim Cooper and Dr. Steve Matthews from the State Library. My feedback was I just needed to talk to 5-6 people. I got this!!!

I don't know why I always do this to myself. Tomorrow is Sunday and I'm NOT going to do any homework AND I'm going to finish this thing next week anyway. I'm going to write at work. This is happening. I can't wait until it's DONE!!!

This is what happens when you leave everything until the last minute. I definitely have enough articles to synthesize. I changed my topic AGAIN-there just wasn't enough on the MLS vs. MBA degree. I am just going to write about the characteristics that Library Directors need most and include education as one of the requirements. In my feedback I was told I can form qualitative conclusions provided I talk to at least 5-6 different individuals. I'm getting that done tomorrow. I need to get this stuff in quickly. I want my MBA conferred this year in a couple of weeks. I'm NOT going to have my MBA graduation date listed in 2013.

I need to go to the store for saline solution. I am going to take the entire 2500 on my flexible spending for my dental and eye care needs. While it is a use it or lose it situation, you can use it on saline solution AND lasik surgery. I want to get those clear braces this year or invisalign. My insurance can pay up to a thousand a year then I can use my flex spending and make payments on the rest. I think it's about 7000.

I'm going to try Sensa sprinkles first combined with Zumba. Yoli sounds great but it also sounds expensive. Yes, first things first-finish this thesis I've been dragging out forever. I can write about anything. I'm just concerned about conducting my research with 6 different individuals. I need to get to the store. Fresh market has a good price on Aggie Ice-Cream and I could use some. Walmart probably has the best price on saline solution. Their ice-cream prices aren't very good however. I think it's still the best buy and choice for me.

I looove Thursdays!!! I ALSO love that I don't work tomorrow AND I love that our coordination meeting is cancelled today. Cancelled meetings are one of my favorite things!!!

I think I have NO textbooks to order for next module. That is fabulous. Today is a good day!!!

I went to work at noon. It's also the day I make sure the students have the right books and enough books for their classes for next module. January is supposed to be when we standardize stuff. Since the next module ends in January I thought I needed to standardize. It took me a long time to get through about half of the classes before my dean told me we'd we doing that with the module that BEGINS in January. As far as I can tell now we won't have to buy any new textbooks.

Next module will be filled with many expenses. Just about EVERYTHING is changing. Actually they should've done this long ago AND they need to standardize shipping across the board. I'm convinced there could be significant savings if this happened. I keep telling people this and they don't seem to be convinced OR I'm telling the wrong people. Even standardized library collection or central library purchasing would be amazing. Salt Lake County is an efficient model of this. Our main offices are in Salt Lake City. I would be fine being the corporate librarian.

That type of purchasing power would have vendors bending over backwards to accommodate us. I need to do a detailed report about this AND present it to the appropriate people. Even if this idea was incorporated, I have a feeling CollegeAmerica is just too cheap. My brother was extremely experienced AND qualified and they still never paid him more than 65,000. That was difficult for him since he was making over a hundred thousand a year. I think he's pretty jaded right now.

I think he needs to spend more time with his family. I REALLY wish he'd encourage his daughters to serve missions. I'm judging him a lot. I just love him and his family and I don't feel his has the level of commitment he needs to have.

My mother's testimony is just warped and freaky. She called me this morning to tell me she isn't going to let Susie stay with her because she had a dream that the guy Susie is flying in to see isn't good and could hurt her.

Some bishop early in my mother's married life told her she had the gift of dreams and she'd learn how to interpret them given time and experience with them. I keep telling her she can't dream about other people because she doesn't have authority over their lives. She tells me they are related somewhere and that it is to encourage her to find the connection.

She has righteous motives. It is just so twisted and she gets offended when I try to tell her that. She has a friend who has visions right on the spot. She lives in Hawaii. She will call my mother regularly up to five times a day for several hours. My mother spends a lot of time yelling on the phone with her. George told her that is not how the spirit works. I told her maybe I should've yelled at people when I was a missionary to help them join the church.

She kept blaming everything on her friend. I just told her it didn't matter what her friend said, how she responded was wrong. I feel bad because she lives alone. Maybe she gets lonely and this is a way for her to enjoy other people. If I stay with her again I will probably never get married. I don't like her being alone. What am I supposed to do? I wanted her to move to Logan with me but she said a prayer about making the move and was told no. She likes the pace of Logan. She likes that there's nothing to do. She also had a dream that she was stranded in Logan. I don't trust anyone else to take care of my mother. As much as she drives me crazy, I still love her very much. I don't have any other brothers or sisters. George and I are all she has. I really don't know how to resolve that.

I told her I wanted to move to California. OF COURSE she had a dream that I moved there, got married there and died there too. She thinks some natural disaster will kill me if I live there. She also said her freaky friend Dean would die there too. I wish she never said anything. Now that'll be at the back of my head. It's ruined my planning to move to San Diego.

I wish I knew exactly what my father in heaven wanted me to do. I'm pretty sure I need to get married. What is my role as a daughter to an elderly mother. My brother has 9 children he needs to take care of. There is no one else but me. Am I supposed to just let her fend for herself? Where do I draw the line?

If I do get married how will my husband feel about my mother? Just what is appropriate anyway?

We had Bro. Salmond's son tonight. He is a seminary teacher. I don't like his lessons as much as his father's. My home teachers visited. Jeff gave a lesson focusing on how it we are truly enlightened we will listen to our heart or the spirit along with the mind. The things that really matter-that mean the most to us are felt. It's really stupid that we try to discount that when everything and anything that matters is connected to our feelings. It's why something matters at all or why something is ever significant.

Tomorrow my assistant is working at 8am and I'm starting at noon. She has to take her husband to a hospital in Ogden where he will get checked out for a surgery he has next Tuesday. I like starting late. I don't like the finishing late part however.

I bought chicken tenders and shrimp from Walmart to go with my stuffing, gravy and mashed potatoes. I  am sick of my Thanksgiving leftovers now. Just yesterday I was enjoying my turkey, stuffing and cranberry celebration.

I love, love Institute!!! Who knew I'd get so lucky and end up with an incredible teacher who gives me exactly what I need each week. I'm so grateful for that. I wish I made more money BUT I have an incredible job that I love. Not too many people can say that. I'm so glad I went to library school. I loved being a substitute librarian with Salt Lake County. I make more money than all the instructors and while I don't know how much EVERYONE makes I know it's better than the admissions counselors too now that they don't get their bonuses for people who sign up.

My brother was a little dismayed this Thanksgiving that I'm not making over 45,000 yet BUT my goal for 2013 is 50,000 through my salary AND a part time thriving Zumba business. Alisa just made these awesome punch cards. She is completely rockin the Zumba. She has her first class that is completely hers in Lindon. She needs at least 25 people per month just to break even. She is subletting with a ballet studio. Awesome idea!!! Her arms are amazing. She can rock that. I still have that formal/bridal dress thing in my head I would love to do and should develop. Julie's daughter is a cheerleader at Skyview High School. I should capitalize on that. If I can get some dresses together and put together a fashion show for them I should be able to make some money to supplement my income and bust that 50,000 a year. I want to buy formal dresses from DI, alter them if need be, dry-clean them, then sell them. I also want to do brides too. It'll work my make-up love. Just thinking about this stuff gets me excited. First things first however.

Opportunities exist all over the place. We create the circumstances we want. Life is great!!! Josh emailed me last night. My hometeachers are coming over tonight at 9pm. Perfect timing. Institute finishes at 8:10. That gives me plenty of time to get home.

I saw Brooke and Jonni last night at FHE. Either no one told them about the Nutcracker or they just didn't want to go. Carline is getting a group together to see the Savior of the World on December 8th. I'm going to go to that. I'm just NOT driving to Salt Lake City during December. I'm going to miss all my extended family parties BUT since my brother and his family and my mother are visiting me for Christmas, that is going to be be family time. I decided I'm not driving to SLC again in 2012.

Pres. Hobbs gave a talk about Christmas before we all turned our attention to all the sweet stuff everyone brought to share. David didn't come. He's probably watching the Nutcracker. Julie at work wanted me to attend so I could see she and her daughters who perform in it-BUT I didn't want to miss seeing president Hobbs so I could ask him if he turned in my temple form yet. ALSO-going by myself I'm fine with, possibly seeing David with a bunch of girls when I'm by myself-NOT so fine with that.

My fresh turkey is gone BUT I have deli-cut turkey I'm eating with my cranberry celebration salad from Smith's and stuffing-I LOOOVE left-over Thanksgiving sandwiches-even though it's deli-sliced turkey from the supermarket it's still delicious!!!

Now it's time for me to follow-up with the secretary at the temple. I'll go visit her Friday AND make an appointment with the president. I just want to spend more time there and ponder the stuff with my new insight influenced by my incredible institute teacher Bro. Salmond.

I am sooo grateful I am taking that class and learning what I am now.

I hope he's doing well. I love AND miss him very much.

Wow!!! What if I was in love with him? If I was he could take advantage of me AND hurt me a whole hell of a lot. He already has and we're not dating. I am such an idiot. I have seen him at his worst. Repeatedly. What the hell is wrong with me!!!

I know how awful he can be. Why isn't that enough. I also know how great he is and I feel like he knows me a lot better than he should.

Tonight we had a nice talk from an engineer who works where Matt works-some space place near USU in North Logan. He talked about how his understanding of the temple was expanded through his profession and the connections he's been able to draw. He had pictures of planets and systems he showed us with an overhead. He was alright. I feel like he could've made the connections clearer. I felt like tuning him out. BUT it felt like his talk had the potential for so much more. The material is interesting-matter, galaxies, stars, planets, systems-There were many implications he could have developed but didn't.

I had my tithing settlement with bishop later. When he asked me if I needed anything I told him I needed a raise. He told me not to be wary of moving within my company and not to get too comfortable in Logan or feel that I needed to stick around. Funny-I DON'T want to be here and I have no problem moving asap. He told me wherever I go I can serve. YES I know that although I wonder if the bishop really thinks that.

I will apply for the ULead program from Logan however and I intend to apply with a STRONG application that gets accepted.

Brrr... It is cooold. Freezing!!! I am so grateful for so many things. While I wanted to see the Nutcracker I'm grateful David isn't my fhe leader anymore. I wasn't trying to be a diva BUT in order for me to be alright with how he treated me he was going to have to go out of his way to communicate with me AND I don't think he was going to do that. David getting another calling was the best thing that could've happened in that situation.

He was called as a Sunday School teacher. I think he's much more suited to that. We have some sort of combined activity tomorrow I may attend if I feel like it. We're supposed to bring a treat to share and I don't feel like whipping anything up. Maybe I'll just buy something. I can always make some no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies I have everything to do that. That doesn't take much energy. I want to see Breaking Dawn 2. My friend told me NOT to take my nieces there so I didn't on Thanksgiving like I wanted to do.

I wanted to take them because I want to see it. I didn't do any thesis work when I was gone. As nice as it is to see my family, I am the most comfortable here in my own apartment. So many opportunities fill my life.

There's a Cache Valley Singles fireside tonight. I am sick of being single. I am more sick of trying. I don't want to date anyone who is divorced or has children. I don't want to go out with anyone who is unattractive to me. I don't want anyone older than my mother. Do I have to give that all up to get married? I'm just not willing to do that. I don't want to be single forever but my life feels that way. As I get older I just get pickier. I get better with the passage of time. I benefit from more education and my testimony also grows. It just makes me want more in someone else. I don't want to share my life with someone who can't appreciate that.

Looong family weekend. I stayed for my meeting Wednesday then drove to Perry to get my pies and rolls from Maddox. It was good to see my mother for a minute. Alisa wanted us there early since Noelani had to work at 3pm. She works at Walmart so we enjoyed teasing her about going on strike. I tried to bring up missions and/or school but if their parents don't want that I don't see how that'll happen. It's none of my business. I just feel like she is wasting away her time. Noelani said there's a weight requirement for missionaries now. They didn't have that when I served. There were many overweight missionaries. I need to find out about this for sure. I just hope George and Alisa aren't being selfish. She needs to go for herself. There's a lot I want to do but it is all intrusive over-stepping my boundaries stuff.

Things that frustrate me that I have no control over. I told George and Alisa they need to come to my house for Christmas. They agreed although my mother seems to think it'll be snowing then and too dangerous for them to travel. I'm excited to have them although I'm going to have to borrow or buy a table and some chairs. I need to figure out what to make. I think I'll have an Asian Christmas meal.