Urban Poly Princess

I went to work at noon. It's also the day I make sure the students have the right books and enough books for their classes for next module. January is supposed to be when we standardize stuff. Since the next module ends in January I thought I needed to standardize. It took me a long time to get through about half of the classes before my dean told me we'd we doing that with the module that BEGINS in January. As far as I can tell now we won't have to buy any new textbooks.

Next module will be filled with many expenses. Just about EVERYTHING is changing. Actually they should've done this long ago AND they need to standardize shipping across the board. I'm convinced there could be significant savings if this happened. I keep telling people this and they don't seem to be convinced OR I'm telling the wrong people. Even standardized library collection or central library purchasing would be amazing. Salt Lake County is an efficient model of this. Our main offices are in Salt Lake City. I would be fine being the corporate librarian.

That type of purchasing power would have vendors bending over backwards to accommodate us. I need to do a detailed report about this AND present it to the appropriate people. Even if this idea was incorporated, I have a feeling CollegeAmerica is just too cheap. My brother was extremely experienced AND qualified and they still never paid him more than 65,000. That was difficult for him since he was making over a hundred thousand a year. I think he's pretty jaded right now.

I think he needs to spend more time with his family. I REALLY wish he'd encourage his daughters to serve missions. I'm judging him a lot. I just love him and his family and I don't feel his has the level of commitment he needs to have.

My mother's testimony is just warped and freaky. She called me this morning to tell me she isn't going to let Susie stay with her because she had a dream that the guy Susie is flying in to see isn't good and could hurt her.

Some bishop early in my mother's married life told her she had the gift of dreams and she'd learn how to interpret them given time and experience with them. I keep telling her she can't dream about other people because she doesn't have authority over their lives. She tells me they are related somewhere and that it is to encourage her to find the connection.

She has righteous motives. It is just so twisted and she gets offended when I try to tell her that. She has a friend who has visions right on the spot. She lives in Hawaii. She will call my mother regularly up to five times a day for several hours. My mother spends a lot of time yelling on the phone with her. George told her that is not how the spirit works. I told her maybe I should've yelled at people when I was a missionary to help them join the church.

She kept blaming everything on her friend. I just told her it didn't matter what her friend said, how she responded was wrong. I feel bad because she lives alone. Maybe she gets lonely and this is a way for her to enjoy other people. If I stay with her again I will probably never get married. I don't like her being alone. What am I supposed to do? I wanted her to move to Logan with me but she said a prayer about making the move and was told no. She likes the pace of Logan. She likes that there's nothing to do. She also had a dream that she was stranded in Logan. I don't trust anyone else to take care of my mother. As much as she drives me crazy, I still love her very much. I don't have any other brothers or sisters. George and I are all she has. I really don't know how to resolve that.

I told her I wanted to move to California. OF COURSE she had a dream that I moved there, got married there and died there too. She thinks some natural disaster will kill me if I live there. She also said her freaky friend Dean would die there too. I wish she never said anything. Now that'll be at the back of my head. It's ruined my planning to move to San Diego.

I wish I knew exactly what my father in heaven wanted me to do. I'm pretty sure I need to get married. What is my role as a daughter to an elderly mother. My brother has 9 children he needs to take care of. There is no one else but me. Am I supposed to just let her fend for herself? Where do I draw the line?

If I do get married how will my husband feel about my mother? Just what is appropriate anyway?