Urban Poly Princess

Myoplex is perfect because I can just rinse my mouth out and pop in my aligner again. There is no sugar in myoplex and I don't feel like there's any residue on any of my teeth AND I keep drinking water. It's Superbowl celebration here at school which means they served nachos with cheese. It's the same cheese I bought from Sam's club for my fondue party. I STILL have more of that cheese. It is cheap BUT there's sooo much of it. NOOOT buying that again. That's what I had for one of my meals with strawberries and Cool Whip. NOOOT that great BUUUT tomorrow is when I'll start being strict. I'm trying to finish my oatmeal cookies I bought whenever I have my meals. I wish I could do that faster.

My hometeachers rescheduled for tonight at 6:30. That'll give me next to no time to breathe befor they're there. That's alright. Just in the nick of time for them!!!

I ate tuna mix without bread, more grapes and I'm also eating this peanut butter bar from Great Harvest Bakery. The one in SLC would mark down stuff after 6pm. I used to be addicted to that place because they make all their junk food with wheat flour. I also like their multi-grain bread. Their oatmeal raisin cookies R amazing!!! They never have any but the last time I was in there they had some so I bought 1/2 dozen. I tried to eat more quickly. Eating quickly SUCKS!!! But I need to do that to get my aligner on. I only have one for my top row of teeth. I don't really care about moving the bottom row of teeth although I do want them to be healthy. I brush my teeth SO MANY TIMES now. I've started to get used to it. I wonder if I'll have to keep doing this to feel alright now. It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it might be.

I'm going to throw away the rest of the gatorade I didn't get rid of yet. I want water in this bottle. Water is the only thing I can drink or eat with the retainer in sooo that's happening. I forgot to bring a cup and gatorade is a bottle I can fill with water so I bought it this morning. My orthodontist appointment is next Thursday when I get my next tray. I'm getting more used to the taking out brushing my teeth, putting back in again routine. I don't feel like it's moving at all but maybe I can't tell. It felt tight at first but I didn't really feel anything. Definitely not the pain I kept hearing about. My orthodontist is really good and I found him by accident. He was the president of some orthodondist association for the state and he travels widely to promote new orthodontist techniques. I'm glad he lives in Logan of all places when I'm here now.

 I'm trying to drink more water too today so I'll be heavier when I weigh in today. The weight loss in the next four weeks will be more drastic. Any weight-loss program will have the most weight loss the first week with 1-3 pounds the following weeks. Crap, it's after 10 already and I have to eat at certain times. I need to drink one of my shakes now!!! Then I'll brush my teeth AGAIN!!!

Weigh-in is at 2pm. This is going to be fun!!!

I was worried I was getting sick again but it's just the monthly female curse. I do want kids, all this other crap...    No thank U!!! Yea for NOOO zits or emotional mood swings!!! Instead I got to feel like death for a week. Now I'm just sleepy. Melissa and I are visiting Dalynn. Need to leave now.

Dalynn forgot so it was a WASTED trip although I did buy some Myoplex from Walmart. Melissa also got busy at work since Dillards is closing and Melissa will be moving out of town.

Mindless television. I haven't heard from the reviewer yet.

I definitely DON'T want to touch the Spanish community thing. I NEVER wanted to be a social worker for a reason. I always find myself dragged into these social work type projects. I HAVE to resist that!!!

Whatever I do I need to keep brainstorming and figure out something to apply for that is still a need AND can be solved by librarians collaborating and incorporating technology. I was brainstorming with my Dean and he suggesting teaming up with Bridgerland literacy to serve the tiny communities. That I feel like I can do.

Here goes nothing!!!

Voni came late as in 45 minutes LATE to our meeting to discuss what we need to do for our grant application. I'd love to do some sort of Spanish thing to aid the Spanish community in Cache Valley which is pretty large but IGNORED. I don't see any services for our Spanish speakers. I think I need to pray about this too. The application materials are due Thursday which means I have a lot of work to do.

I don't perceive the Spanish community as being integrated AT ALL here in the valley. Our waiter was interested in attending Stevens-Henager College. Voni and I went to El Torro Viejo to discuss the grant we want to apply for. Technology and our Cache County. How do I end up in these diversity things all the time? Jonni used to attend the Spanish Branch and Carol speaks Spanish. They are very separate communities here. Do I really want to venture there? I'll probably get ticked off on more than one occasion. Bring diversity to probably one of the whitest counties in the nation? I don't think I'm up for that challenge.

The grant is supposed to address a community need AND tie in with libraries. The Spanish community is very much in need. How to integrate the two? I don't think the Logan library even has a Spanish collection. Just looking at the number of Hispanic students who attend Stevens-Henager College makes me think services are severely lacking BUT JUST focusing on library services and what they provide is HUGE.

Immigrant families need to know about these things. Hornet's nest. I REALLY don't want to go there. Whatever my father in heaven wants.

I DID NOT like El Torro Viejo-

I do like:

Elements
Mo Bettah Steaks
That Indian place at a gas station
Cafe Sabor
Takara Sushi
Angie's-I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M INCLUDING THIS!!!-BUT I'D RATHER EAT HERE THAN El Torro Viejo!!!

I need to try-The Bluebird, Le Nonne, Hermes Inn, Gia's, Jack's Firewood Pizza

My adjunct instructor friend Katie is starting a Biggest Loser Challenge at work. Staff, faculty AND students are doing this together. It is just the incentive I need to give me that extra spark to get with it again. I'm going to buy my Myoplex shakes tonight!!! I'm glad she did this because being sick made me stop my fitness journey for a week.

I'm glad I did Body-4-Life before because it is a plan I can stick with. A free day every week is what I need and unless you exert yourself you may get fit but your body won't change. I don't mind working hard and eating clean as long as I can still eat whatever I want once a week. Sunday was my free day unless I had something else come up like a wedding or party. Even then sometimes I'd keep eating that way AND it wasn't hard to eat like that OR work-out once the initial getting off my pillow was done.

We begin Tuesday. This business gave us a gift basket filled with candy, cookies and popcorn. I grabbed some junk I'm going to eat with my saimin. I'm meeting with Voni today to finalize our application. It is due Thursday. I need to review this stuff.

I was thinking about guys I didn't marry over the years last night. I changed my Linkedin profile to reflect my new graduation date and I came across Richard Kennerly. He was gorgeous when I met him in Provo years ago. He was from New Zealand  and 1/2 Maori-we hung out the whole night at the Palace-Provo's then non-alcoholic night club where we met. That's the first time I went dancing and met someone I hung out with the whole night. The only time that happened is if I was on a date. His dad was a regional rep. He was so fine and I enjoyed talking to him the whole night. I just didn't like that he was from New Zealand. There's nothing wrong with thinking where you are from is the greatest country in the world however I dated this guy from New Zealand before in Hawaii. He enjoyed telling me how our schools weren't as good. All of my proud to be an American feathers got ruffled repeatedly whenever I spent time with him. I didn't run across Richard until several months later. He was on a date. That was the last time I saw him. He didn't add a picture to his LinkedIn file but he is an attorney in Uintah county. I wasn't interested in marriage then and I WAS interested in going out ALL the time. Going dancing ALL the time. I saw some pictures of Eldon Campbell. He is half Maori too but raised in Hawaii. He was about 5 years older and gorgeous. He has aged. He didn't blow up like Brian but he isn't as fine as I remember him. I'm glad I didn't marry any of them BUUUT I can't help but wonder if I'm too picky and if I'm just going to select myself out of the celestial kingdom. I don't feel that inside however. I feel good about all the decisions I've made there even if I don't have a family yet.

I used my umbrella as I cleaned snow off my car. GENIUS or rather not using it before was NOT wise. Sooo my hair actually STILL looks normal!!! My hometeachers rescheduled for Thursday so although my day is still busy, it won't be as bad as it might have been.

NOT!!!-I feel great but there's still this stuffy-nose-voice-about-gone thing I have. Surfing-I wore one grey sock and one beige sock because that's all that was clean AND that's what I'm wearing right now. I know I need to do some laundry. Tomorrow will B busy, busy, busy-faculty meeting at 2pm meeting at 4pm with Voni and maybe Jason for our Ulead grant or is it Ilead? Followed by work-grabbing something to eat, institute, home-teachers and then my laaate RS presidency meeting. Tomorrow's going to be jam-packed. We are meeting tonight to rehearse our skit. It just wouldn't work tonight. I need to decompress AND do laundry. I wore a dress today and it's not like I HAD to-that's what the hell was clean. I can wear my suit tomorrow OR DO laundry and wear something warmer. Whatever I wear it would be nice to have socks that match!!!

I should just keep buying socks-grey, white, beige, black so I can interchange them and not have to search so dang hard for them all the time. I have about 10 pairs of socks but I use them if I work out and then again if I go anywhere. I need at least 14.

I turned in my first round of revisions so it's alright for me to watch a Korean drama now!!! I'm going to Google to find one.

There are so many things to do and not enough time to do it all in!!! I hate when I've been gone and then when I just get back. Everything is a shambles. I gave 3 students the wrong book for their classes. They came back and I replaced these with the right books BUT the wrong edition. Sooo... 3x is the charm!!! I feel waaay more better but NOT 100%. I need something to wake me up. I can get soda BUT then I'll have to remove my aligner and BRUSH my teeth.

ANNOYING!!! I ate saimin this morning and had carbonated water and popcorn. Now I'm hungry again. I'm not sure what to do for lunch but I'm thinking I want some pizza from little ceasar's and something sugary. Fake twinkies I can chop my strawberries into. I have 2 boxes of strawberries. I need to hurry up and eat them. I got them from Maceys for 2.50 a box BUT I just saw them at Walmart for $2 a box. I wish I had seen those before I bought my strawberries.

The weather looks awful ALL week. I'm NOT going to see my cousin and his family. I guess I'll just visit them in Australia. This year is my Hawaii trip. I guess I can go to Australia although I've always wanted to go to New Zealand.

My cousin is visiting from Australia with his beautiful family-2 extremely good-looking children and a pretty wife. He lived with us right before his mission and he went to BYU-Hawaii. We were both preparing for our missions at the same time. He was called to Riverside, California. My cousin is awesome. He would fast once a week for "personal spiritual growth." His dad is my father's youngest brother-he was a mission president to Papua New Guinea. Saia is a bishop now in Australia. The weather is VERY crappy and I wish I could see them but they are leaving on the 4th so it doesn't look very good right now. Maybe I should go to SLC and see them this weekend. I just don't like the crappy weather.

The more I think about it the more I feel like I should go and see them. I REALLY hope the weather cooperates.

I'll pray about it. Of course I'd much rather just visit them in Australia.

I'm glad I went to church today because I feel 10x better!!! I ate saimin for lunch right before church and I'm eating it now that I came home. I left the roll here so we had to use a piece of paper. I didn't want to have to dig my car out of the snow UNTIL AFTER choir practice.

We had pie today and I wasn't about to leave that there without touching it so I went to the bathroom to take my aligner out. I actually DID brush my teeth before choir practice too. David's lesson was better this week-more spirit or maybe it's just I had more spirit today. I know we are responsible for what we get out of our lessons. Some lessons however are just better. I think it was done better this month although I can't think of anything he did badly last time.

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW-It was snowing when I went to church so of course my hair that I blow-dried and looked perfect when I left, DID NOT when I got there, ANNOYING!!! Following choir practice I had to DIG my car out of the snow before I could leave the chapel.

Yesterday I thought I'd finish my revisions. Easy peasy... OR so I thought YES easy BUUUT time-consuming. I worked on it until 2 am. Following church I ate saimin then fell asleep. I woke up and finished the monster. I just emailed it to my first reviewer who will send it off to the second one before he or she sends it back for... MORE revisions!!! I don't really care. I just want my damn MBA!!! I'll do whatever they want me to do, change whatever they want me to change. Being a reporter helped me with that. I don't care. Most editors are reasonable and some even improve what I write although it is difficult for me to admit I can improve my writing.

HUMILITY is needed. With this LAST paper I don't care. I'll do whatever they want me to do at this point JUST hurry up already!!!

The pills make me feel better BUT WHY is my cold still sticking around???!!! I'll eat my saimin again. The pills made me FEEL like I was getting better BUT this morning it feels like the same thing is STILL there and isn't going anywhere. Sooo I think next week is definitely doctor time. It's time for the super-strength medicine. I want some more pills. I have 12 hours worth of medicine but I'll need some tomorrow. I need some anti-biotics. Yeah me!!! So I will be getting a Logan doctor next week. Why not. I have an orthodontist, dentist, optometrist and dermatologist. It was only a matter of time.Time to figure this out. I doubt they can see me today BUT no harm in trying.

The Manti story keeps getting worse. After his Katie Couric interview was aired Roniah through his lawyer said it was him playing Lenaye. His relatives contacted the Post and told them it was in fact his cousin in American Samoa-Lino Tuiasosopo. Four independent audio specialists confirmed it was the voice of a woman. She's very pretty and this story keeps getting stranger. Her father insisted it couldn't be her since she's been in Samoa the whole time.

Supposedly she did this before. I just don't get what Roniah and Lino got from this. This is so bizarre

Around 2pm I ate my lunch-eggs, rice, spam, carrots, spinach, garlic, soy sauce. Ate my last 2 gourmet cupcakes-carrot and mint chocolate chip and lots of juice. That must've put me into a food coma because I fell asleep and work up when it was dark and almost time for dinner. I ate saimin and a lot of the fried rice for dinner and lots of juice again with my pills.

In an hour I'm taking my pills again. Maybe I'll set my alarm so I can take it again during the night. The next time I leave the house will be for church if I feel better. I definitely didn't feel like looking at anyone tonight at our ward activity. I'm glad it's Saturday tomorrow. I'm VERY sick of eating saimin. It's time to try a garlic shrimp recipe and make some sushi and bread. Weird cravings-I know. Sickness cravings.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some cleaning to prepare myself to meet civilization again. Wow! 5 minutes until 10pm. Ice-cream? cookies? carbonated water? fruit? juice? choices, choices!!!

I ate some extra hot and spicy saimin for breakfast. I threw in some spinach. So I got a serving of veggies without any work really. If I wasn't sick I would NEVER want to eat that stuff. When the soup is red from all the chili powder it makes you wonder. The soup is so filling. Edible BUT I'm NOT buying this stuff again. I'm so used to throwing out the soup but when you are sick that's what you need-liquid. I ate saimin 3x yesterday and I'll probably just keep eating it until I feel 100%. I have chips and the 2 last gourmet cupcakes to eat BUT the soup filled me up plus the mango juice. It is sooo good. I'm glad I discovered Welch's-that's probably several cups of sugar I'm drinking however. I'm not buying more juice now that I'm on the mend. These pills really work!!! If I had started these Monday I probably would be all better now.

I haven't worn my contacts at all for a day at least. It is sooo nice to have glasses with the correct prescription. I don't know what that last optometrist was thinking!!! I hear people scraping ice and snow outside-it is nice NOT to have to go anywhere!!! This is my HEALING time!!!

Scraped the ice off then went to Walmart-an ugly slushy parking lot was what I got to wade through. I bought 6 cartons of juice 3 guava/pineapple, 2 mango and 1 strawberry/peach. I bought all of their Asian soup I've just tried. There were only 3 left. It is extremely hot and spicy BUT delicious AND helped me spit up this gross gunk in my throat. The spicy hot stuff sure cleans you out. Now I'm thinking I want to eat the other half of the oreo gourmet cupcake I ate last night. There are some others I left untouched. I need to start touching some of them.

Did the easy formatting revisions on my thesis. That took less than half an hour. She wants me to do the chapters like a thesis paper she sent me so I'm formatting it like that then sending it off AGAIN to be reviewed by someone else. Then I make changes the new reviewer wants, get it approved AND turn in 2 hardcopies. AAAAhhh!!! I FINALLY started this but now I'm just going to finish every part asap because it is freakin annoying and taking forever!!! I want my damn MBA already!!!

I'm about to eat some hot spicy noodles and soup again from the asian section of Walmart. Here we go again!!!

Walmart has the best Myoplex price-4.87 for a pack of 4-vanilla, strawberry, chocolate or dark chocolate. I need 3 of these a day 6 days a week. 24 x 3 = 72 / 4 = 18-19 packs 18 x 4.87 = 87.66
Close to $90 a month for my Myoplex a month which is sooo worth it. I wonder if Sam's Club sells it and how much it sells it for.

I'm going to REST and eat saimin or soup all day along with drink lots of juice. I should go to Walmart and get some juice. They have the guava/pineapple and mango Welch juice for just $2 in cartons. I'm going to try making those mix soups I bought from Maceys last night too.

I can feel this stupid cold in my chest now. I wheeze with it. This is a stupid monster cold. I don't have a doctor here either. Maybe it's time for me to get one. I've gone almost 10 years without a regular doctor. When I had my brain injury in 1999 I was sooo sick of seeing doctors and then I didn't have insurance anyway. All of my bills were paid by workman's compensation since my brain injury happened when I was driving to St. George because I was working for the newspaper at the U. I complained sooo much about driving there so I'm sure many people felt horrible when they found out about my accident.

My dad was a contractor and it was cheaper for him to just pay for our medical expenses so it was never a big deal. Before my mission he paid cash for me to get my wisdom teeth removed and on my mission I was on the church's insurance.

When I worked at Overstock I was supposed to start getting insurance on June 1st. I broke my leg on Memorial Day at George's house in Provo and had to have surgery. The hospital had me fill out a bunch of forms but I didn't have insurance. An orthopedic surgeon followed up with me. The bill was outrageous but I got a letter from the hospital saying an anonymous donor took care of the bulk of the bill. There was still about $5000 left. My mother paid it for me.

I haven't really thought about it but I've been very lucky. I could be swimming in medical debt. Instead I made my own and had to declare bankruptcy. Why I had to get sick now when I'm all fired up to get physically fit again is annoying!!! I'll start again on Monday. In the meantime I can check Myoplex at Sam's Club.

I deviated from my original food plan because I didn't have an onion for my omlette this morning. I registered my car, picked up my glasses with the RIGHT prescription, and mailed my bill then I went to Maceys where I found gourmet cupcakes-because if your fitness plans get derailed you should eat these!!! 2 boxes of strawberries and these yummy looking soup mixes they had displayed in the front. I priced a pre-mixed myoplex 4-pack at Maceys it was 5.49. My plan is to drink 3 of them a day alternating between real food. Saturday is my cheat day when I'll eat whatever I want. I need to throw my protein powder away because it's nasty.   I tried it today. I need to price Myoplex at Walmart and then also online. I've decided to do that, Anyway my onion that is less than a dollar cost me $16.00.

I HATE BEING SICK!!!

Walmart called me and they changed my frames so I can wear my glasses AGAIN!!! I need to take these contacts out when I'm sick!!! I also need to register my car, mail a bill AND I think that's it. I can't think of anything I need at the store. Maybe some Myoplex shakes. That generic brand is gross!!! I can't see myself eating that long-term. I used to love Myoplex in the day. It just costs more. I need to run my errands then come home and REST!!! My director is awesome-she told me to take it off tomorrow and get better-perfect since I'm off on Fridays. Plenty time for me to recuperate. I need to be wise!!!

This sick thing is old. I'm done with it but it's not done with me. Ruining my fitness plans!!!

STILL feel like crap BUT I got up at 5:15 so I could be ready to work out at 5:30-which I did followed by a nice shower to invigorate me right???!!! WRONG!!! Everything is still moving in slooow motion just for me to be ready for whatever's next. At least my car started right up. I ate saimin for breakfast and I threw spinach in there to get some veggies. I then forced myself to eat some blueberries. I don't like them. I also drank some juice. I put toothpaste and another toothbrush downstairs so I travel with one and have one upstairs AND downstairs in each of my bathrooms. Yea aligners!!!

I keep hearing horror stories about colds. My teacher friend Katie told me she's been sick for 2 weeks now. REALLY???!!! I just need EVERYTHING to be REALLY clean to feel like I'm even starting to get well. I have everything to make sushi AND coconut shrimp. I hope to cook that tonight. I also wanted to try making a loaf of bread. I bought a bread pan from Walmart the other day.

I can't find my cup. Making mini shakes in these tiny styrofoam coffee cups is NOOOT the business BUUUT is something that doesn't require a whole lot to do so I shouldn't complain AND this situation isn't happening again. Nine more minutes then I make two mini shakes to fit in those ridiculously small styrofoam cups.

If I had kleenex and toilet paper I wouldn't have had to go to the store this morning or replaced my battery which I'm very happy is done. I hate being sick. I feel weak and out of it all the time. I went to get some more juice and dish-washing liquid.

My new car battery should make my car start just fine tomorrow. It was so cold this morning. I passed Deseret First's credit union sign and it posted the temperature at 15 below. After my car was jumped I still had to scrape the ice off the car windows which I did WITH my gloves BUT my hands kept freezing for a good 10 minutes IN the car and YES with the gloves STILL ON!!!

Ahhh!!! GRRR!!! I want to scream but there's no voice to come out if I did that. I'm missing institute which I HAAATE BUUUT I need to get better and that's not going to happen if I act like I don't have this annoying cold. I just ate the tops off the chocolate chip muffins I bought at Lee's. They should just sell the tops. I ate one of the mangoes I bought the other day and it was sooo good BUT it made me miss mango season in Hawaii. We had a mango tree BUT my grandmother had this amazing mango tree that bore the most delicious mangoes I loooved eating!!! Tonga didn't have mangoes that good. All their other fruit was just as good or better EXCEPT for the mangoes.

My uncle grew watermelon in Tonga. We have ALWAYS had watermelon in our fridge ALL the time. I'll eat it-the very middle or the heart of it OR if someone slices it and puts it in front of me BUT buy a watermelon???!!! L to the NOOO!!! I have thrown away the rind and seeds from MANY watermelons AND I don't need to see anymore!!! EVER-I could live without eating it ever again!!!

Cardio at 530am, shower, scriptures, prayer-1st meal at 7am!!!

My ultimate eating schedule: For tomorrow, Wednesday January 23, 2013

7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm-I need to get back into this habit again!!!

7am-eggs, ham, spinach, blueberries

10am-chocolate protein shake

1pm-tuna mix w/ grapes & cashews on wheat, FOR my cold-instant saimin, carrots, extra grapes to snack on

4pm-chocolate protein shake

7pm- broccoli, rice, coconut shrimp

10pm-chocolate protein shake

That'll make 3 meals at work but 2 of them are chocolate protein shakes. I have chocolate protein powder at work. I could take my bullet to work to blend my shakes BECAUSE they taste better that way.

Tomorrow will be a weight-training arm day.

I need to focus on intensity for fastest results. This is my plan for tomorrow.

Exercise my spiritual muscles-pray at least 3x a day AND listen to the spirit after brushing and/or cleaning my aligners 6x a day. Identify direction the spirit is giving me and figure out what to do about that. Constantly ask Is what I'm doing now what my Father in Heaven would have me do now???!!!

Make sushi for the next day. Make sure to tempura enough shrimp for sushi rolls the next day.

I tried 3x to call Sharla before trying to go to the store this morning. My car wouldn't start. NOOOT COOOL!!! I called my hometeachers and then my neighbors including Josh, Deven, and Glade before I called David. Everyone that lives around me was what I was going for. David suggested Sam. I don't really think of him as living near me but I suppose he does. I was trying to figure out where he lives when I remembered we had fhe at his house once. I didn't know which John was his roommate either. John Andrus AND John Goodman were both in my fhe group. John Goodman is Sam's roommate. I remembered that once I remembered where Sam lives. Sam works closer to where I live which is probably why he lives where he does. He was here in less than 5 minutes and helped my car start in less than 5 minutes. My brother just called me. The spirit told him to do that. NICE although he can't really help me from SLC. I love my brother. I miss having him within driving distance. I am grateful to the church however and that there are always people I can call for help wherever I may be in the world. I told George to always call me if the spirit tells him to do that even if he can't do anything!!! He just laughed.

Deven and Josh called me soon after Sam helped me. I am very lucky. I'm so grateful for the gospel.

I feel like I should stockpile toilet paper and kleenex. Having to go to the store for them when you're sick sucks!!! I also remembered I need dishwashing liquid. I don't like washing my pots and pans or plastic stuff in the dishwasher.

I was going to go with this girl in my ward to Layton to this Korean restaurant but when I called her I sounded horrible so I'm going to use this time to rest and get better. I got more sushi at Lee's bought a bunch of instant saimin. I couldn't resist the sushi. I tried the non-spicy roll this time. There was 1 tempura shrimp BUT just 1 and there was some other stuff that tastes like imitation crab seasoned or pickled w/A LOT as in TOO MUCH sauce. It was still good BUUUT now I know why my sushi tastes better-sure smother your roll in sauce and it'll taste good.

Got home and forced down saimin AND sushi, juice and a donut. Now I'm stuffed in my tummy but also in my nose and head. I went and replaced the lenses in my glasses. It cost $70. Contacts when you are sick suck. I looked at some frames. I'm going to buy new glasses depending on what I end up spending on my teeth. I like this flex spending account. I need to find out how much lasik surgery is and maybe do that next year.

I want juice and ice-cream for dinner. I'm feeling crappy again. I forgot dishwashing liquid and toilet paper. This screwed up my fitness plans. That's alright. I should be better in a couple more days.

No chills, I can go to the store now. I just really don't want to do that but I want some saimin AND I shouldn't EVER pay 5.99 for 2 mangoes- I need to take that receipt back to Lee's and get compensated. Also, I want some of that extremely spicy saimin. I know I can get it at Walmart. I also want rice flour, imitation crab and nori-it is time for me to make some sushi for myself. I'm hungry!!! Maybe I'll make a drive-thru run at Mickey D's- sickness is a good reason for me NOT to feel like cooking. Saimin is perfect because I just add water.

Time for me to go.

My neck is hot like I have a temperature but my forehead is cool like a cucumber. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I don't want to get worse OR have to get a blessing. Girls in general abuse the blessing thing in Singles' Wards. I wish I could just drive over to my brother's house and have him give me a blessing.  I'm glad Josh and Jeff are regular home teachers now and I'm grateful Josh changed my lightbulbs for me. Despite that I still don't feel comfortable asking them that. I'd ask David if we had normal conversations anymore. I miss my friend.

When I feel like this I just want to eat saimin-I can't believe I don't have any. I'm considering going out to get some after midnight BUT it's COOOLD BRRR!!! I took off my aligner and am forcing myself to drink this mango juice I bought since I finished the pineapple-guava. I just feel like the juice is good for my cold.

I bought coconut and I was going to make coconut shrimp but I'm just not in the mood.

I feel like crap. This started in sacrament meeting. I have the chills and my nose keeps running. Without these aligners I drank a lot of carbonated water and juice. Now I can't drink juice unless I take my aligners out. I hope that doesn't have anything to do with why I'm sick.

During sacrament I thought I'll look for a tiny piece of bread that requires minimal chewing. I'm glad it was alright. The thought of taking it out to take the sacrament and then leaving the meeting to at least rinse out my mouth and then pop it back it WAS NOT HAPPENING. I'm freezing and it's partly because of this cold and partly because I'm sick.

I have a lisp when I talk OR sing. I was self-conscious about it BUT I'm NOT going to be silent for half a year if this takes that long.

I'm sooo glad I took tomorrow off.

I always feel stupid in choir. I wonder if I'll just always feel that way. I'm doing baptisms for the dead Friday. They couldn't get anyone to agree to do it so I decided to do it since I don't work Friday anyway.

Now if only that toddler next door would SHUT UP!!! I'm glad I made spaghetti last night. That'll be breakfast after I heat it up. I need to plan my workouts AND meals for next week. 12 weeks is how long any fitness program takes to show results. It also coincides with these damn aligners. I'm doing EVERYTHING I'm supposed to do because I don't want to have to wear them longer than I have to wear them. It is optimal to eat 6x a day small high protein-low carb meals with 3 veggies and 2 fruit each day. Brushing my teeth six times a day is REALLY NOT attractive to me BUUUT I do want to do this. If I have this planned I should be alright. I need to eat fast too to meet the 22-hours a day rule the aligners are supposed to be worn.

Cardio every morning and weight-training every other day. I'm going to figure out my plan for next week and do that EVERY Sunday. Sunday is also my workout rest day. Maybe I'll go for walks on Riverwalk just to get my body moving.

I'll see how I progress by the end of 12 weeks and then get certified for Zumba. July should be the latest for me to do this. It'll be the first business venture I take after finishing the MBA. I can March in SLC if I want but I don't really care about that. I did when I got my first master's degree. I can probably squeeze another sushi meal out of my brother BUT he still owes me one for my birthday.

This is my first fitness fanatic Sunday. After this I'll plan for the next 12 weeks when I hope to have some visible changes in my physique. It'll probably take another 12 weeks then for me to fit into all my clothes sitting in my closet in SLC. I have a sweet business collection sitting there waiting for me. I'll just need some more shoes although I have quite a bit already.

Stupid artificial heated air!!! I was reviewing my receipts and I was charged 5.99 for 2 mangoes. These were supposedly .99. I bought guava/pineapple Welch juice too and after drinking it I want to eat some guava cake!!! Drive ALL the way there OR wait until Monday. I'm waiting.

I have to go to church early for choir practice. I can do it, I live less than 5 minutes from church so it is really silly that I always get there right on time WITHOUT a second to spare. Catching up with my vampire diaries.

The choir is performing tomorrow. I'm glad I joined. I found a black and bronze polka dot dress at Walmart of all places. I'm sporting that tomorrow.

Day 3 of the aligners and it's already COMPLETELY on my nerves. It's not painful, just irritating. So why am I complaining? I'm really not sure. Life is blessing. I have everything I need to achieve my goals.

I feel like I've been slacking all over the place. I'm VERY glad I took Monday off. I think it's cleaning time for me!!! When my house is clean I feel like I can think clearly. Right now I don't feel like my thoughts are directed where they should be focused. I am not cultivating my ability to feel and then receive guidance from the spirit the way I should. Time to change that.

First things first. My mind cannot function well unless it's clear. That won't happen until my house is clean.

I almost forgot!!! Today I went to pick up the Samoan girl Lilly I felt bad about not taking anywhere. She just moved here from California and is a student at Stevens-Henager College. She lives right by my  Optometrist in North Logan. Instead I went to Lees to stock up on their 1.88 ice-cream, another toothbrush, those floss stick things and travel-size toothpaste tubes for my aligner adventure. As I was leaving I noticed a sign that said sushi made daily!!! I got a spicy roll for 7.99-It had tempura shrimp, avocado and imitation crab. That is EXACTLY what I use in my sushi. Tasty BUT they used crappy shrimp. One thing they did I'm going to do next time is they used the tempura crumbs? on the top with the spicy sauce. It made it crispy and was really good on top of the sushi. The price was nice Playboy rolls are usually $12-13 BUT could've been better. That is a Playboy roll minus the raw fish or fresh raw tuna slices on top. That is a pricey ingredient left out. Also minus the fish eggs or tobiko. Whoever the sushi chef is has the same taste as me.

NOT as good as Sunflower market in Murray BUT a nice and quick alternative to lunch. Of course I think I make better sushi. I just need to make these things more often. The boneless, skinless chicken thighs I bought from Sam's club to make chicken katsu WERE NOT what I wanted. There was so much fat and weird pieces I had to cut off. Talk about FAIL. I still have portions in the freezer. I'm going back to chicken breasts and just concentrate on marinading and pounding thin to have tender, flavorful NON-dry chicken. Live and learn.

I ALSO stopped at Panda Express and had chow mein, orange chicken and glazed honey walnut shrimp. I also wasted my money on potstickers-1.49 for 3 when they are the SAME potstickers from Costco and Sam's club. Costco sells larger bags and a different brand BUT the potstickers are EXACTLY the same. They taste just as good as homemade potstickers without all the extra work. My Chinese roommates would buy them. Sarat's new Nepalese wife would also get them. Nepalese call their dumplings momo BUT it is basically the same thing with a slightly different sauce. It's annoying to try to eat fast before brushing my teeth and slipping on the aligner. I just had my leftover Chinese food and ice-cream. Now to brush my teeth!!! Maybe this is a good habit to develop!!! I usually just brush my teeth twice a day. No longer.

I need to hit up Walmart. It's not the bitter cold so I don't know why I'm dragging my feet to go there.

Ronaiah Tuiasosopo YES another Samoan from California played an elaborate and cruel joke on Manti Te'o. Sooo messed up. A girl he cried and confessed his story to told an ESPN reporter. Ronaiah got a cousin to play "Lenaye Kekua" on the phone with Manti. EVERY night for several months???!!! I can't believe they did this to Manti. Naive boy from Laie who was the victim of a sick joke. Ronaiah played this same joke on someone else.

There are a lot of naive but good boys from Laie who never had girlfriends usually before their missions. I don't know Manti personally but that is the image he gives off. I'm sure he had MANY women throwing themselves at him. My cousin Inoke was a lot like that. He never had a girlfriend until AFTER his mission and he ended up marrying his first girlfriend. The beautiful Lilika who is Tongan and had a steady high school Samoan boyfriend. Inoke was in the bishopric at the Honolulu Institute ward near the University of Hawaii. He was the quarterback at the University of Hawaii but nowhere near Manti's talent. The year before he stepped into the position the quarterback had received national accolades. A tough position for Inoke BUT if ANYONE could play that role well it was him.

I know Manti is the type of person to handle this well... from what I've seen of his interviews. I hope and pray he gets some reprieve. I'm grateful I was raised in such a loving LDS Poly community in Hawaii. I'm on Manti's side no matter what BUT he has yet to disappoint me about anything.

I've done A LOT of research online on Invisilign and aligners in general. My orthodontist said he used a product on me comparable to Invisilign without the big sticker price. Everything I was reading online was NOT my experience. Everything was more extreme. From my extensive online research I've discovered it is the Red, White, and Blue system I am actually using that takes significantly less time!!! His first time length to me isn't even how long this will take. It's more like 6-12 weeks which is lovely!!! He did tell me my case is minor. I just want it to hurry up so I can go to the dentist and have healthy teeth too. They both had a conversation and my dentist told me he was told my entire treatment would probably take 6 weeks. I don't have ANY pain which concerns me because everything I read online talks about pain with the first aligner. I don't have ANY so I just hope it works!!! I do feel a difference when I take them out to eat something but it's so minor. I hope it's just because it's a minor adjustment. What annoys me is how fast my teeth shifted. The first dentist who gave me veneers to fill the space between my two front teeth did NOT give me retainers to keep them in place. I think that's because he wasn't an orthodontist. Now that I'm actually seeing the CORRECT professional I think it'll be alright. He is the one who told me I'd have to wear a retainer for the rest of my life to keep my teeth from shifting.

I'm alright with that. I shouldn't have to keep trying to fix the SAME problem. I know it's not a big deal BUT it is a BIG deal to me!!! I can't wait until this is all done including my porcelain crown. I want my perfect smile AND perfect body. It is about 10 years ago when I did this so maybe I'm expecting too much. One thing that does make me happy is that closing spaces is supposed to be the easiest orthodontist procedure. My teeth are naturally straight. I had to get my wisdom teeth removed before I turned in my mission papers. I wonder if they had just come in if they would've closed the space naturally. When I first got my veneers they turned out great probably because my teeth were already straight. People kept asking me if I wore braces. NOOO. My mother did wear braces however and NOOO she never wore retainers and they have imperfections now but they basically look fine. George and my dad never had to wear braces either-naturally annoying straight teeth and beautiful smiles.

My smile's never been bad enough to keep me from smiling however and if anything I smile too much. So does my mother and brother. George was actually told by his company were he made a bunch of money that he needed to smile less because it wasn't professional. I AM SOOO GLAD HE QUIT THAT JOB. The money was good BUT that is the stupidest thing I ever heard. I love my brother's personality. He makes anything fun and EVERYONE enjoys his company. Trying to change that is stupid.

They had brownies at work and then cut up veggies at staff meeting. Was it worth it to me to take out my retainer, eat and then brush AND floss my teeth? NOOO it was NOOOT. I AM hungry now AND I will get to brush my teeth. I'm going to make those toasted tuna sandwiches I was thinking about earlier.

Ate my dinner consisting of my tuna sandwiches, popcorn and ice-cream with fudge sauce. Then I got to brush my teeth AND my retainer before popping it back in my mouth. It's weird that I can't just pop anything in my mouth.

I have surrendered to the idea I'm going to have to get used to drinking water all the time now since it's the ONLY thing I can keep drinking or eating taking out my retainer. Tomorrow I'm going to go and see Lilly Saunoa!!!

Manti Te'o is being slammed by the media. His fairytale story of losing his grandmother AND girlfriend is only half true. He did lose his grandmother but his girlfriend "Lenay Kekua" doesn't exist and didn't die from Leukimia. Apparently Manti had this entire online relationship with someone that isn't real. News stories reveal some Samoan guy who is "friends" with Manti pretended to be Lennay-a volleyball player at Stanford. Reports of Manti and Lennay spending time together in Hawaii are all false. The picture is another girl entirely and a friend to the deceiver. Manti released a statement revealing how embarrassed he was about what happened. He said he developed real feelings for "Lennay" who doesn't exist.

Poor Manti-the media and he and his family didn't help it either by making his relationship seem A LOT more than it ever was. Now Manti is being subjected to all types of abuse. I hope he comes out of this well. My facebook feed is filled with support and love for him  from the BEST community in the nation!!! The story was just too perfect. I don't blame the media for pouncing on it AND even embellishing it.

Just how much did Manti know? I believe he was deceived. He and his family told Notre Dame what happened the day after Christmas. He did allow the media to continue to speculate about his girlfriend who died from Leukimia AFTER finding out. What a mess. I feel bad for Manti and how difficult this all has been to him. I hope Brian and the rest of his family are alright. 

Uncomfortable? Yes, Painful? NOOO!!! I took it out to eat my strawberries and whipped cream which were delicious!!! My mother sent me my flexible spending debit card which I was able to run fine for $450. $2010 left for my crown and I'll be able to get new glasses too. I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze out a couple dermatologist appointments as well. This is going to be good for my eating habits too. It is annoying and inconvenient to take the retainer out so it'll REALLY have to be worth it to me to do that just to eat something.

I'm going to do the protein shake thing and get straws so I only take it out 3 times a day but have my meal replacement shakes 3x a day too so I can eat 6 small high protein meals a day like I want to. 3 veggies and 2 fruit a day-fruit in the morning with 2 morning meals and 3 veggies with each meal. I have grapes AND cashews at home which means it's time for me to eat a couple of toasted tuna sandwiches. I'm getting paid Friday since Monday is Martin Luther King day. It's about time!!!

Some black guy in town is having a hip-hop thing Friday-FINALLY something to do where I'll ENJOY the music. He added me on Facebook. I've enjoyed the mixes I've listened to so far on his page. It's something to take my Samoan friend Lilly to AND it only costs $5!!!

I STILL want to see Breaking Dawn 2 and the new Les Miserables film. Good weekend for me to do that. I need to adjust my speaking skills when the invisilign is in. I sound weird when I try to speak now. Six months means I'll have to do this until mid-July. I'm glad I finally started the treatment so it'll be done soon. That's enough time for my body to get where I want it too. I set my alarm for 5am but ended up sleeping until 7am so there was no Zumba this morning but I plan to do that tonight plus weight-training!!! I'm feeling good about all of this!!!

It felt warm this morning although it's only 13 degrees. After a week of below zero temperatures, everything is relative. I forced myself to Zumba this morning. It's that moment between waking up and putting on my shoes that is tough for me. Once I'm downstairs and start my DVD I feel fantastic.

My shower and getting ready took longer than I wanted. I made a Carl's JR run for a couple of breakfast sandwiches even though I was running late because my lunch relief person probably isn't going to show up until 2:45.

Bro. Salmond is awesome as always. His excitement is infectious. He mentioned that he doesn't teach during the summer. I'm going to miss my weekly dose of him. Our RS presidency meeting was nice last night although I drove back and forth between my house and Providence which isn't far, just irritating when it's freezing and it was last night.

I love Melissa's spirit. She shared the thought and said the closing prayer. The spirit was with her. I always want to be like that. I don't think she's an RM, BUT she had the spirit with her and I appreciate that she brought it with her to our meeting. I need to tell her that.

Erin is sweet. People are funny with me. Since Melissa gave the thought Erin decided to NOT ask me to do it because she said she didn't want to scare me off. She just doesn't know me yet I'M NOOOT SHY and I'm alright with doing things. Actually I've done a lot of things. The menial tasks of NOT a secretary BUT the assistant secretary are things I ONLY do for church. It is important, I don't doubt that and I'm NOT questioning that. It IS fun to be part of the RS leadership like this. I've only ever been RS president although I was an RS teacher twice. Let's see Gospel Doctrine teacher 4x, RS 2x, President 1x. I taught seminary in Hawaii. Right-I was a family history person once. Of course I taught primary 2x. I thought I would die there. This wonderful ward is the ward of my make-up callings-Fhe group leader, blood drive coordinator, assistant RS secretary.

I enjoyed my first calling. Matt was awesome!!!-Exactly how I wanted an fhe partner to be. Blood drive coordinator was fine-all I did was fill the paper out every few months when they remembered to give it to me. This calling will be the most demanding but also spiritually rewarding. We have a presidency meeting every other week and visit specific sisters every other week. Visiting will be a good way for me to get to know more people in my ward. 

Josh came over last night to replace the lightbulbs in my bedroom!!! He said he'd come over Sunday so I was lounging upstairs in my bedroom wasting time on another Korean drama. I had worn a heavy sweater to work and it was too hot outside so I had taken it off. Poor Josh had to wait in the freezing cold while I scrambled to find a t-shirt so I didn't answer the door in my bra and g's.

He's going to Vegas on Wednesday so he said he had to do it last night. I am grateful. My bedroom light's been out since right before Christmas. As I slept last night I thought about wasting time and how I'd been doing a lot of that lately. I HAAATE that so I determined NOOOT to do that anymore and NOOOT to watch any type of program until I'm DONE with my thesis. Why do I keep stopping? Revisions are easy. What's my problem???!!! I may not have cable BUT I have enough stuff I can watch and waste my time with online so it doesn't really help.

Sooo this morning I forced myself to get out of bed at 6am so I could workout to my Zumba DVD. I feel fantastic if I do that so AGAIN, what's my problem and why do I keep stopping. I live less than 5 minutes from where I work. I worked out, took a shower AND made myself breakfast. Tomorrow I need to read my scriptures BEFORE work AND have a nice NOT-RUSHED prayer. I'm excited to attend institute tonight. Bro. Salmond is THE BEST religion teacher I've EVER HAD!!! I saw him Sunday.

I tried to work in the temple in September last year. I don't know what the problem is!!! GRRR!!! Time to follow-up with the annoying gatekeeper secretary.

It's almost over which is fantastic!!! Two of the companies I need to call are closed and are in different time zones of course. I received my flex-spending debit card which I will use at the dentist and orthodontist for my remaining expenses. I can also use it to order some eyeglasses at Walmart. My red frames need to be changed too. That'll just be $60.00. I have to go to the North Walmart. I hate how busy and dirty everything seems to be at that store. Even when the South Walmart is busy, it doesn't seem dirty like the North Walmart feels. I am however VERY SICK of the South Walmart. Although I am grateful it is there I am always forgetting something and running there. When I first moved to Logan the Walmart trips were horrible. There was always something I'd discover I needed. My dentist and orthodontist have been playing phone tag. Pretty annoying. I just want to start my start my treatment. Actually I just want to end it. The sooner I begin, the sooner it'll be over however.

This nice Samoan girl Lilly is going to school at Stevens-Henager College. She gave me her telephone number last week and she wants me to take her out and show her Logan. I didn't contact her last week. At first I felt really bad because she walked past my office without acknowledging my existence. Later she came in and talked to me, gave me her number again and asked me to contact her again. I'm glad she gave me another chance. There are no rule books to helping out your fellow Polynesian brothers and sisters BUT I know I need to do more-especially with her. I wish I was better. I'm beginning to feel overextended again. I want to introduce her to some YOUNG poly girls. There's only Ma'ata now. My other Tongan friends are in California.

My young Tongan friends were little fashionistas. This girl doesn't seem like she cares about that stuff. Moving from Salt Lake City was difficult for me. This girl moved from Long Beach. I need to help her feel like she is alright here in Logan. I really am a loner. I resent it when people want to do EVERYTHING with me. It's one of the reasons why I like Krista-because although she sticks to me like glue when we're in the same place, she does things with other people too all the time. I'm not sure why I'm like that. I told Lilly I want to introduce her to some younger people because I am old. This other Tongan girl I remember from the Tongan South Stake in Salt Lake City just added me on Facebook and then messaged me about attending a charity fashion show she's put together to benefit the women's shelter in SLC. It's being held at the Masonic Temple in Salt Lake City. I've always wanted to look around  there. It's so yucky outside now. I don't want to go anywhere. Lilly would probably enjoy that.

After chipping away the ice, wearing my sweater under a coat AND my gloves-my hands were freezing. When I went visiting teaching I wore nylons and my heavy blizzard boots I just bought from TJMaxx. My toes were freezing. When I got home I put socks over my nylons before wearing them to church. Negative temperatures are no joke. I don't want to go anywhere when that happens. I was glad when my new fhe mom Susie told me we would have fhe at the chapel because it is already difficult leaving my apartment when it's that cold. The church is nice and close. Mindie texted that fhe would be at her house. I texted her to let her know what Susie said. Apparently Mindie made arrangements with Brooks-my new fhe dad. I REALLY don't want to go home then go all the way to Mindie's house and freeze just for fhe. I'd do it if it were nearby like the church where I could get home quickly. I want to be supportive BUT yeah NOOO. Closer OR the weather needs to warm up.

I had some of my eggrolls for breakfast. Yummy!!! I'll make the rest after work tonight and some at lunchtime. I'm going to wrap everything and freeze half. I need one of those small square box freezers. If I buy one of those freezers I can seriously cut down on my meal prep time. Only some things taste good after freezing however. Most foods taste best fresh. Although my meat and marinading can happen when I stick it in the freezer then all I'll have to do is let it defrost and mix in other fresh ingredients.

When I was obessive about my diet I made spagehetti using spaghetti squash. It was delicious fresh BUT after freezing it lost how great it tasted. There are some things I miss about preparing and packing my six high protein meals each day. Eating 3 veggies and 2 fruit a day wasn't easy either. BUT I'm glad I did that because returning there isn't difficult and I did learn some tricks along the way.

I'm eating blueberries with my homemade whipped cream. This time I made it with sugar. I'm so used to making it with stevia. There isn't that much of a difference. The blueberries are from Sam's club but I don't like them as much as the blackberries or raspberries. The blueberries cost more too. I just wanted something different. They don't have much flavor. Maybe I'll look for a blueberry muffin recipe. Those are always good.

I can only imagine what David did with a girlfriend in Hawaii OR with a girlfriend anywhere. You have to be VERY comfortable to travel with someone. He wasn't raised in a culture that values what I do at all. One of my favorite things about him was his inexperience. I don't think anyone else will care about that at all BUT I do very much. I've made the choices I have because I consider things sacred that I know most would not. I have no doubt he hasn't done anything that would keep him out of the temple. It was just rare. I knew when I first met him and talked to him that he planned to change that. I really wish he hadn't. He was probably happy about that.

I'm not. This is something that made him stand out to me. He has joined the herd now.

It is beautiful because we began with our visiting teaching. Church was good. There is a sweet Latino lady in my ward who spoke and instead of trying to feel her spirit I wanted to scream!!!  She was irritating but not because of anything so she was driving me crazy and I just felt guilty for wanting to pull my hair out. I surfed and then tried to pay attention to her. I was going to write in the book I try to always have with me if I hear something I want to remember but I didn't bring a pen. I am so annoyed by people who don't have patience with people who are English-2nd-language speakers BUT I had absolutely NOOO patience with this poor innocent woman who was just giving a talk in English-NOT HER NATIVE TONGUE-she just kept going on and on and on...

I AM sooo glad the next speaker Myrick was completely hilarious.

In Sunday school I went out of my way to be nice to David who was intent on telling me he spent his time in Hawaii with his girlfriend. He told me he never had a girlfriend before. I wonder if this is his first girlfriend. I hope he is happy. It just felt like he was telling me this to prove something to me, for my benefit. I hope he really has one and that it's not what he's doing. I tend to think he doesn't because his female fans are still circling him and that's something they'd find out. Despite being the biggest jerk I've ever met, he has an awesome testimony of the gospel. His social skills leave a lot to be desired but my entire ward INCLUDING ME has problems with that OR we'd ALL be married and progressing. I miss talking to him AND I'm going to keep being his friend EVEN with his attitude.

If we do what we're supposed to do everything will be well even if it's not what we're expecting. Choir made me feel stupid again BUT it is nice to actually be doing something about improving my singing. I met and talked to this girl Liane. I told her I would follow her and to sing loudly for me so I could do that. I REALLY wish I had just learned to sing when I was younger and NOT let how good my brother and mother are make me NOT do anything about it.

I unburied my car from the snow. I went to Sam's club to get some grapes, broccoli and blueberries. Next I went to get a top-up card for my Virgin mobile phone bill. I like how cheap it is, I just wish I remembered to pay for it each month or that they'd text me a couple days before it's due so I don't have to rush and pay for it after it shuts off or right before it does. I went to Walmart 2 for some carbonated water, strawberries, a frozen pizza and a couple donuts.

The sun is so annoyingly bright in my bedroom. The snow and the cold persist despite this. I bought ground pork to make egg rolls that'll taste GOOD this time!!! I STILL didn't buy brown sugar and I need some lemon flavoring. I need to write an ongoing shopping list so I don't waste my trips to the store.

I bought my chicken thighs, hamburger and shrimp. Sooo now I need to work on cooking EVERY day. I'd also like to bake bread or rolls once a week. Two Samoan guys who attended my YSA Tongan ward got their Zumba certification and posted it on Facebook. I'm jealous and I need to write out my detailed plan to join the many Polynesian Zumba instructors we have now.

I can't believe my weekend's almost over. I haaate all this snow we've been getting.

Voni did a fabulous job. The authors were so interesting. There were 8 who attended and presented. Just the last speaker was Boooring!!! The caterers were just alright they served teeny tiny shrimp over cream cheese and cocktail sauce. The shrimp was too small!!! The meeting was well-attended despite the yucky weather. Chestnuts wrapped in bacon were amazing!!!

I lost to Robert for CVLA president. I actually think Robert will do an amazing job. I'm also very happy Joseph is Vice President. The only reason why I ran was because Joseph wanted me to do that. I nominated Robert for president. I really think he is the best person for the organization. Joseph is the best too.

Being president would've looked great on my resume, BUT I know Robert is the best for the organization. I am grateful and so happy something I wanted to happen did and was done so well!!! This is my baby and I am so pleased with how great it turned out. It fills a need in the valley and it fills it well. Starting an organization from scratch looks even better on my resume!!! It feels so great to see the association become so legit!!! I have to work my zumba business this way too!!!

After the meeting the snow was horrendous!!! AND THERE ARE NO STREET LIGHTS ON THE ROAD BETWEEN HYRUM AND PROVIDENCE. The roads were horrible so I just crawled home to Logan. I thought as I drove home THIS IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I DON'T WANT TO MAKE MY LIFE IN THIS HICK TOWN!!!

Correction-I live here now and I will live it to the fullest. What I will NOT do is raise a family here. My father-in-heaven has to slap me across the head before that EVER happens.

I'm at lunch now wondering why the hell I ALWAYS have to look for my lunch relief person and why it takes usually half an hour before I can leave the building. That doesn't work for me. Last night my assistant came in just as I was complaining on here. I know I complain too much. I like Chris and Judy.

I just have A LOT of work right now to get ready for the new module. There's a CVLA meeting tomorrow at South Cache in Hyrum. Voni Roat is the librarian there. She is too funny. She calls me everyday as it approaches. YES it's Thursday morning now and Voni has already contacted me to find a telephone number for her she just could've googled. Sooo I did that for her.

It's so nice NOT to stress out over a meeting. My Director's been sick all week. She didn't come today either so I don't have to worry about coordination meeting. I'm lending Voni two of my fountains that hold drinks. I'm going to take my camera too. It's VERY nice to attend a CVLA meeting and not have to worry about EVERYTHING. I ALMOST broke my goal of NOT eating out before I get paid again BUT I took 2 cup-of-noodles, microwave popcorn and the last of my ice-cream I had. I also had a Mio drink mix that I took with me. So far so good!!! I'm eating my popcorn now and I finished my noodles. I don't like the soup so I usually take 2, drain them and then just eat the noodles. It reminds me of Hawaii. ONLY S & S saimin is MUCH tastier. It is the same sort of thing although I DON'T drain their soup.

NOT nutritious BUT still quick-I finished my raspberries yesterday. I still have blackberries and a box of strawberries. Blackberries and raspberries were at Sam's club. Big boxes for cheaper than I can get the tiny boxes for. Berries are supposed to be the best fruit for you to eat. I forced myself to eat blackberries before although these from Sam's club are really good. I like their fruit quality. The blackberries I've have so far have been bitter. These are sweet even without having to add whipped cream to them.

My cousin William just called me from a funeral he's attending in Smithfield. He is with his mother who is visiting. He lives in Provo near George. He wanted to see if I was at work which I AM. Too bad-I told him we should do lunch but I guess it's not to be-today anyway.

It's not like I don't have lots of things to do-BUT I COULD make time to see my cousin!!!

Judy called saying she'd be late because of a bishop's appointment at 6:30pm. I only left this place to buy pizza and trays for my meeting at 3pm today. NOOOT GOOD!!! This is baaad!!! I'm just sitting here getting ticked off!!! GRRR!!!

I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what to serve the nominating committee today since we are having our election results reveal here. Chinese restaurants in Hawaii make crispy wonton and you can get a couple dozen for less than 5 dollars. It was my go-to potluck thing-tastes great and anything looks great if you serve it on a pretty plate. I am just going to pick up 2 pizzas at Little Ceasars and put them on a couple of pretty plastic trays. We have a bunch here at work I can use. I have the carbonated water I bought. I wanted cookies or something sweet. Maybe I'll pick some up at the dollar store-just to have something sweet.

It was around 30 degrees this morning and it felt warm. How saaad!!! Leaving the house and getting to fhe was cooold. NOOOT good!!! This has been a bitter Winter. I don't remember it EVER being as cold as it's been lately. My cream puff oreo plan had to be modified when my friend Ele came over Sunday. Helene had car trouble and was stuck in Salt Lake. I just made spaghetti. I'm out of brown sugar. I need to remember to pick some up. Teriyaki doesn't happen without brown sugar. I doing this for my presidency meeting too.

Fhe last night was preparing for road shows. When I was in JR high school I loved, loved, loved acting. I got the lead in the 3 plays our class performed probably because of that. When I moved back to Hawaii I would've been a drama geek but my high school had a very weak program. BYU-Hawaii had plays that some of our high school kids auditioned for but I got too involved in colorguard and student government first in 8th grade and then the summer following that I started dancing at the Polynesian Cultural Center AND was paid to do that so yeah NOOO drama for me after that.

I took television acting classes first at the University of Hawaii before my mission and then after my mission with some professional ex-actress with lots of experience in film and television. My look is perfect for the bit parts they always need with films in Hawaii. I moved to Utah my second month of classes. There were a lot of working actors and actresses in my classes. I wanted to join them. In Utah I finally decided I would get my broadcast journalism degree. While I love acting I know with my look and type I'd get the slutty roles I'm not comfortable playing. Now I'd have to lose a bunch of weight to do either. I love that still but I'm not willing to work on that anymore. I was 4 classes away from finishing the broadcast journalism degree at the U before I quit to attend library school. I met with an academic advisor at the U when I moved to Logan because I wanted to finish already and it had balooned to 7 classes. I did an internship at the Herald Journal and fulfilled that requirement.

This is also when I learned about Stevens-Henager College's MBA program so I quit my broadcast journalism thing AGAIN!!! I still love broadcast journalism BUT I'm NOT going to work for a network. I enjoyed working as a teleprompter for Channel 4 in Salt Lake City because it let me see what a newsroom really is like. I like reporting but I want my own schedule AND reporters make crap and I'm not willing to start there and I like working for myself. I want my own entertainment blog just because I enjoy it. That will be just for fun. The nature of journalism has changed so much with the internet. The networks don't have the power they once did. That is such a good thing. At first I wanted to be a political analyst but I don't want to do that anymore. When I was at the U I worked for the school newspaper as a political reporter. At the Herald Journal I told them specifically that I wanted to write feature stories. I'm glad I'm a librarian. I didn't want my academic muscles to atrophy which is why I was so reluctant to do entertainment reporting BUT it is what I enjoy. As a librarian it is part of my professional development!!! I want to end up in public libraries NOOOT academic.

I can still offer my services to the Herald Journal if I want stories printed but the time involved and the pay that'll be next to nothing DON'T make it worth it and I published enough stuff for that not to be a concern. I plan to develop that interest through a blog and shoot video stories too. I think Park City is ideal for that. I haaate driving in the snow BUT once I FINISH the MBA and establish myself as a Zumba fiend, my outside interests will include that. I also need a sound SUV with 4-wheel drive. A nice digital video camera and FinalCutPro software is nice too. One of our photography instructors is proficient in FinalCutPro-I want to master it.

Me, Tavia and Lynette were getting so into planning for our fhe roadshows. No one else was. I wonder if it's just my personality to get carried away. I have a feeling it is-I did this in library school too with presentations. Something extra and creative always gave us more points and was always a motivator too. I like doing more than just enough. I'm beginning to realize that. I think I've always known this about myself. I am just getting to know myself better and see it as more pronounced as I interact with different people who are NOT like this.

I have the nominating committee election results meeting today. Thursday is Voni's CVLA meeting. I'll enjoy Thursday when it's all done.

Ordering textbooks is not brain surgery BUT sometimes all the intricacies of figuring out what to order, how much to order and when to discard something and satisfy corporate, my director AND the faculty can be overwhelming. I know we have fhe at the church tonight at 7pm but I didn't get a program so I don't know what we're doing. They announced it in RS BUT they didn't say what we're doing.

I'vc ordered just about everything but I still need to figure out what the medical dean wants me to do about her workbooks. Textbook companies want to make money which is why they frequently print new editions. Also academia is plagued by the publish or perish syndrome. We have 2011 textbooks that are already out-of-print. This wouldn't be a problem but for this class she needs workbooks the students can write in. Now there are 2012 and 2013 workbooks.

I'm not sure what'll happen with this yet and what the dean wants to do. She is on break now but should be back any time now. I think I should wait in her office and try to catch her before her class.

I like my new calling even if they did make it up. People kept approaching me all day to tell me it's not made up-whatever! Erin finally said it is mentioned as something they can have although it isn't needed. That I can buy. It'll be fun to attend presidency meetings. Erin invited me to the next one on the 15th at 9:30pm since Jodi teaches an evening English class.

Choir practice made me feel stupid but that'll probably be how I feel the whole year. I committed to sing in the choir during our fast and testimony meeting so I wouldn't back out and so I don't quit. I can follow along with people. I want to get to the point that I can sing on my own. A lot of my family are NOT trained, they just naturally sing well-ANNOYING-my brother has an extremely good voice-he could record-it's that good. My mother's always had a great soprano voice and people would always ask her to sing for stuff and Polynesian shows would request her to sing for them too.

I want my own sound system so I can practice my singing AND use it for Zumba too. Yesterday I made fried rice before I went to get my safety check because I didn't want to buy anything anywhere. Eliminating my constant eating out will save me money. I just want to sing well enough to sing my own karaoke songs and in public. I can dance or speak in public with no problem. Sing... NOOO!!! I hope it's possible to improve that much. It has to be I don't remember the prophet who said that which you persist in doing becomes easier to do not that the nature of the thing has changed but because our power to do so has increased. George Albert Smith maybe?-o.k. couldn't NOT know-thank you Google!!!-it's Heber J. Grant who I think quoted Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Jen is going to give me Piano lessons starting in February-bucket list attack for 2013!!! I need to buy myself a keyboard. I need to look around at new ones first. I looked on KSL but I don't know how much they are new to get any type of sense of what a good deal is in the first place.

I love life. It is so great and we have so many opportunities and blessings to take advantage of.

Non-members are easy for me to get along with. Why do the members have to be so weird? The longer people take to get married the stranger they become. I guess that includes me too although it's nice and easy to lump everyone else into that category and think I'm the exception. I had fun with Shawn and his friends. Joseph and his wife came too which was good. Joseph and his family fellowship Shawn well. A lot of his LDS friends are X-members however with axes to grind against the church. I'm glad me and Joseph and his wife attended. It's good for Shawn to realize not ALL members are these cliquey mean elitist snobs.

It's fast Sunday. Yesterday was Helene's birthday and today Helene and Ele are coming over. I love them, I just don't want to do EVERYTHING with them EVERY waking moment. I still need to find my husband and if I want to know more about you I will hang out with you ALL the time. ALTHOUGH-HELLO-I still have a life outside someone else.

There's been enough time however that we can hang which will be today at 6pm. No one's asked me to make dinner but I'm just going to assume that's what's up and marinade some chicken while I'm at church and cook a pot of rice before I leave. I have lots of cheesecake to feed them and whipping cream to beat. I also have a lot of spinach, cheese and carrots for a salad.  

My young friend Vai moved back to California so at least I don't have the extremely young Poly girls trying to hang with me anymore. It's nice that all these women want to hang with me. Now I need more guys. A guy I want to hang with too? Not happening now BUT I need to try. Last night my neighbors were having a party next door. They played music I like and I'd probably get along with them but uh yeah 20 years ago maybe. Two 20-somethings rang my doorbell and apologized for the noise. It was only annoying downstairs so I told them it was alright. I couldn't hear anything if I watched anything anyway.

One of the boys asked me if I wanted his telephone number so I could call him to turn down the noise if I needed that. Nigga please!!! AND NO he wasn't black-a good-looking player-type who is either white or hispanic. I am used to dealing with his type all too well though and NOOO I'm not going to get your number or give you my number idiot. Trying to be all smooth. Don't even go there because I've known players since little Timmy was playing on the swings and NOOO that isn't his name and NOOO I didn't find out.

I just hope today is filled with the spirit and turns out well.

Sorry sweetie  but I've seen that move before and it's NOOOT happening. I was very stupid with my YOUNG friend Colton when I first moved here. GET A GRIP!!!  That happened because I was stupid enough to spend time with someone and think I could control my feelings even when I spent a lot of time with him. He was fine, intelligent and NOT spiritual which is why I thought I could play like that and not get burned. I didn't do anything physical with him but spending time with someone is dangerous. If I don't want anything happening I learned just not to do it in the first place.

I hope it's not ugly like it has been the past 2 years. Tomorrow's fast Sunday and my Bookmobile librarian friend Shawn Bliss is having an impromptu birthday bash at 7pm so my fast will begin late. I've never been to the Pizzeria Factory where this will be held. I will probably have to do something with my windshield wiper. Annoying especially since they charged me to replace it last year AND then it didn't work the VERY next week. They told me it was something else entirely that needed to be fixed that had to do with the wiper. I wonder how much that'll cost me. I hope there's nothing else. All I know is I'm NEVER going back to discount tire again!!!

One of the students at work who dabbles in repairing/fixing cars told me to come here. They seem good so far. They don't take appointments however so I'm just waiting until they get to do it. I was forewarned that it would probably be over an hour. So here I sit until then. I wonder how long it will really take.

Wow!!! I passed except for a bald tire. This is going to cost me a little over a hundred dollars. They are almost done. I like this very much!!!

Time for a safety check AND registration. Taking my laptop with me to work on my revisions so I can send this sucker in for another time to be reviewed by someone else. He gets back to me then AND FINALLY I get to make his revisions-get it approved then provide them with 2 hardcopies and then wait for the piece of paper with MBA printed on it. Looong drawn-out process I wish were done already. I reach my financial goal on the 20th so I'm shooting for the entire thing to be done by the 20th.

I think I'll go to Kabuki when I'm done and order what the L I want when that happens before picking up my flatscreen AND hooking up cable. I want to be able to surf on my flatscreen. I'm sure George knows how to do that but I'll just figure it out myself. Alright! Time to do this!!!

I paid all my bills I haven't yet. When I went to Ross nothing tempted me. Today at TJMaxx I wanted EVERYTHING. They have a boot clearance sale which is dangerous for me. I have these ugly boots I wear in blizzard-like conditions. Now I can throw them away!!! I have new boots for that. They had a Cephalon wok for $39-it is perfect!!! I spent $160 there and I didn't need to do that. I kept thinking of picking something up to eat but I restrained myself and kept reminding myself I have a lot of food and snacks at home. I think I need specific financial goals. I'm not worried about every penny anymore BUT I really didn't need anything. I should've bought some broccoli. I didn't work out either. I ate some lunch upstairs and promptly fell asleep.

What's my problem??? I need sleep BUT NOT that much. I didn't make it to the temple. I got my registration in the mail. Time to see how much my car is going to cost me this time. INSTEAD of dropping a 160 on stuff I don't need I should've got my car checked out. Perhaps I'll do that tomorrow.

There are so many things I need to work on. Monday the CVLA is having their big reveal of our new officers to our nominating committee at Stevens-Henager College. I'm just going to serve people a snack and ice with my new favorite key lime carbonated water on ice. First I was thinking of sandwiches but I don't need to be that elaborate since there are just a few of us and we're just meeting for the election results. I can use the rest of my cream puffs and oreos and my left over ginger snaps then all I need to do is buy some carbonated water and ice for Monday. We only have 5 on our committee anyway. That'll be a dollar expense!!! OK no a $2 expense since it'll cost for the ice. OR!!! I can make my own ice from the trays I have in my freezer, throw the ice in a plastic container and make more. That'll be more than enough for our group of 5. If I just take my fountain to work I can use that AND only pay for the carbonated water which is just a dollar!!! I think I'll do that.

I decided NOT to just spend money irresponsibly. I keep deciding that but then I do something else. I just need vegetables now. I'm going to make a couple goals for myself. My first is to NOT eat out anywhere until I get paid again on the 20th. The next is to ONLY buy fruit and veggies from the grocery store, soap AND the carbonated water. NOOO diet Dr. Pepper or diet Coke. Workout, eat at home AND be social with my own ward. So if I meet these financial goals I will buy my flatscreen on the 20th. I'll hook up cable when I get the printed MBA. In the meantime I'm going to have additional copies of my diplomas sent so I can frame these and display them in my library with my medical consumer librarian certification. My boss will like that.

Forcing myself to be social with the Cache Singles Group is harder than doing it with my ward. My ward isn't as difficult but I know I need to do it. My fingertip that is dried out is the one I use on my laptop mousepad. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

I like my new dentist. I'm going to get a crown on one of my teeth I don't like. He told me something about the enamel not forming right. I saw my orthodontist first which was not good since I already have appliance trays ordered which were fitted against my current teeth without the crown. I told the dentist about my concerns and he is going to coordinate with my orthodontist.

I need to draw up my Zumba plans. I have my eating and workouts planned in my head. At the end of March I want to lose enough weight to get certified and begin teaching BUT if I don't like how I look yet I'll move that to June. If I meet my financial, physical, AND spiritual goals by my second check in March I'll buy my sectional. When I lose weight I won't need to buy a lot. I have an entire business wardrobe in Salt Lake.

I know I am filling my life with the good things I want to fill it with, BUT I know that I need to get married too. I like working that stuff out here too but while letting all that out here on the internet is therapeutic, it also doesn't keep it sacred like my journal does.

That's something else I'm changing.

I went and filled my gas at Sam's Club before going to the store to buy some hamburger, skinless boneless chicken thighs and fruit. Raspberries and blackberries were way cheap. I'm returning to my eating 3 veggies and 2 fruit a day. The lady at Serendipity did a great job. She straightened my hair. I don't mind straightening, I just don't want it looking dead which is why I do like a little body.

I'm glad I'm not working again until Monday. I love the internet. I love Google.

It is FREEZING today. I wore a dress and my ugly boots, my heavy wool coat, gloves AND a scarf. I kept wearing the coat even in the building at my desk.

I love life. I have so many blessings. I want to live to be worthy of them all the time.

I have carrots, spinach and those mixed veggies, Time for me to make fried rice. Blackberries and raspberries for fruit. Tomorrow I have those things set. I can make an omelette with spinach cheese and the ham I have in the fridge. I need to buy strawberries at Walmart while they still have them.

This morning I dragged myself downstairs to do my Zumba DVD despite not getting much sleep. It was good but I am dragging. I brought my "eggrolls" to work. They taste awful and I'm going to throw them away along with the cumin roast beef and rice. I'm just sick of it. It's a good thing I didn't make these eggrolls for my family who were here at Christmas. I guess the brand determines how potent the seasoning is-it is horrible. Now I get to throw away all that meat. I don't want to try to salvage it after trying it this morning.

So I stayed up late for CRAPPY eggrolls. At least I took down all my decorations. I'm not used to actually stringing Christmas lights. I couldn't get them to fit in the nice small boxes they came in so I just tried to fold them loosely and stuck them in plastic grocery bags.

My banquet table downstairs is bugging me. Maybe hiding it will be easier if I just buy my sectional.

I have my hair appointment at 2:15. The dentist is tomorrow at 9am. I am exhausted and it isn't even 10am yet. I'm definitely sleeping early tonight.

I'm glad it's my last day of work tomorrow. I love my job. I had to compile a report of all our expenses in 2012. It was MUCH easier because I updated the report periodically. The first year I did that Judy taught me using an excel spreadsheet and calculator. I've taken a beginning excel class MANY times and I knew you could do calculations but it always seemed complex. I had NO idea you could just type an equals sign and perform simple multiplication simply by clicking on a value and using * or even + for addition.

My corporate finance teacher taught me that and I felt so stupid BUT I'm glad I learned how to do more than make pretty charts. The report was sooo much easier to do. I'm still up because I had to buy contact solution and then I thought of my ground pork that I needed to make into egg rolls... uh tornados!!! I knew it was Italian sausage but I've used it before and it was fine.

It tasted alright just NOT Asian despite adding carrots, chinese parsley, garlic, oyster sauce, soy sauce and carrots. It reminds of a tornado from 7-Eleven. I'm going to fry it with eggs. Some of it anyway.

I looove my job!!! It's nice to be back. I brought stuff to eat. I think I'll finish the last of my roast today. I still have over half a vanilla cheesecake and I ate only one piece of my Hershey's cheesecake/cake/thing made by the cheesecake factory I picked up at Sam's club. I didn't put away any of my Christmas decorations. I took out my cream puffs twice but I still have a lot left. Last night I bought a couple bags of shrimp. I will go to Sam's Club today too for some boneless skinless chicken thighs. My co-worker friend Emily told me about a family Christmas trip they took to Mexico during the Christmas holiday. Too fun!!!

This year one of the things I'm going to do is develop my singing voice. I ALWAYS feel like I have mucus in my throat. It is the reason why I like my carbonated water so much. It feels like it cuts this. Karaoke was fun at the Singles New Years Eve Party. I want my own sound system anyway. I need to develop this so I can join in with my annoyingly talented family. The Singles thing was fine because no one has a really good voice so I didn't care about joining in.

I expected more talent here as far as singing and performing is concerned. I'm glad there isn't because it doesn't make it intimidating for me to start.

So I'm caught up in my Korean Drama world BUT these characters get the L on my nerves. Talking about dying if they aren't able to be with who they want. SERIOUSLY!!! Rejection may hurt, we may not always be with who we want to be BUT GET REAL-I know everything's exaggerated, that's why I'm watching in the first place. Anyone I've ever loved I'd NEVER want them with me if they wanted someone else. If you really love someone you want them to be with who makes them happy whether it's with you or not!!!

We are so lucky to have the gospel because all we have to do is follow the spirit and everything will ultimately work for our good whatever or whoever that may be with.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know who I'm supposed to be with but I do know and I've known for awhile now. I wish I didn't have to do anything and that I could just kick back and get my 2.5 karat canary diamond ring, start my family and serve however my father in heaven wants to use me BUT that's alright because it'll make me a better person.

My Day is going to be spent clearing out my Christmas decorations, finalizing my resolutions or goals and ending it with Breaking Dawn.

I am so grateful for the blessings I've been given. My spiritual goals include working in the temple, cultivating the spirit and listening to it without delay even when I don't want to respond to the direction I receive. I commit to looking for and acting on the direction I receive.

Tomorrow i'm going back to work. I am glad it's only for 2 days. I'm more glad I don't work on Fridays!!!

I had fun at the singles activity!!! I decided I would and I did. I met this really nice lady who decided to come out after 5 years of not attending. She has a 13 year old son and was very nice. I did EVERYTHING including karaoke. I also participated in the dance by dancing to the songs I enjoyed.

I am NEVER going to like country music. That was the only thing that killed me. Lots of people who wore cowboy hats and then even turned Footloose into a country song. How the hell am I going to have a good attitude about something I don't care to develop at all.

I will try to be better WITHOUT country music. I want to improve my singing voice however. I enjoyed karaoke and I'm going to check out books at the library to improve this and look through the internet. I just want to feel good enough to sing with my talented family.