Urban Poly Princess

4 And if their works are evil they shall be restored unto them for evil. Therefore, all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame—mortality raised to immortality,corruption to incorruption—raised to endless happiness to inheritthe kingdom of God, or to endless misery to inherit the kingdom of the devil, the one on one hand, the other on the other—

 5 The one raised to happiness according to his desires of happiness, or good according to his desires of good; and the other to evil according to his desires of evil; for as he has desired to do evil all the day long even so shall he have his reward of evil when the night cometh.

So I walked 5 minutes to work this morning. I have so much to do today starting with arranging a tow for my car and checking it in with the dealer to diagnose. I need to send Jon an email letting him know what was discussed in our meeting. He texted me DURING SACRAMENT MEETING asking how the meeting went. He texted me again later BUUUT he already ticked me off for texting me during sacrament meeting so I decided to email him instead and NOT BEFORE TODAY!!!

Once when I went on visits with the sisters I met someone less active on our ward list. I went out of my way to talk to him at his house and he couldn't even answer my questions. He's not too attractive and I know he's not used to girls showing him ANY attention. I've seen him at his work several times and I always say hello. I also sat by him during one of our FHE's. I DON'T show him undue attention BUUUT I also know he probably doesn't have anyone attractive even acknowledging his existence. Yesterday the Elder's Quorum president told me he and this other guy were my home teachers. BOTH have things for me. The other guy was in my FHE group once when we danced and filmed I wanna hold your hand. He is similarly NOT attractive AND he is the guy Andrew started tripping over saying I didn't want to friendship a handicapped guy. 

I can tell when guys develop things for me and it is why I avoid paying attention at all to ANYONE I'm not interested in. You have to learn these things through experience. I tried to explain that to Andrew and he just got offended. He was so rude to me. I feel like we should get along because he's Poly BUUUT REALLY???!!! You disrespect me that much and expect everything to be alright???!!! I have nothing to say to him and I don't know him well enough to care if I never see him again.

I was very happy to see how Curtis dealt with Jessica. If it was annoying he would be flirting. He pays attention to ugly girls who don't get he treats EVERYONE that way so they end up falling for him because MOST attractive men know how to treat women WITHOUT leading them on. There will always be people who fall for you no matter what you do and you will ALWAYS have to deal with that BUUUT you don't have to cause the damage you can by giving someone hope who should have none.

AFTER I finished talking with Curtis and I walked back to talk to Susie I passed the other bland Curtis who I hope realizes I NEVER had a thing for him despite what anyone may have told him about my Curtis affliction.

ALTHOUGH we may not share much in common I plan to own and live in a Westgate Loft in Salt Lake City soon. I know my husband is going to work for the church eventually and I hope to own it forever. I also want a condo at Turtle Bay Hilton in Hawaii. For the first time last night I was thinking that it ISN'T scary to see if it works with Curtis. I never wanted anyone still in school although I've always wanted someone who finds school important. He is intelligent despite not continuing his education. He can always do this if he wants to do that. 

I can see him living in a loft in downtown Salt Lake City despite being a farm boy. He has the style to pull it off and it is a natural environment for him. Actually I can naturally picture him living in an ultra-modern loft more than any other guy I've ever known EXCEPT my modelly friends from the past who ALL had a gay vibe. South Jordan and Draper are neighborhoods I love that ALSO have lots of land and people living there with their own horses and several own Llamas. I wouldn't mind raising a family in either town that is near enough to the city. 

I don't want to raise children downtown in a loft. I want to live in one now myself and with my husband AFTER raising my children. I wouldn't mind if they were raised on a ranch, actually I like that. What I don't like is the isolation. I want my children to have EVERY opportunity to develop themselves and be exposed to a variety of things and cultures. Amazing restaurants AND the chance to see concerts, the ballet AND musicals. Cache Valley doesn't provide that. I like that Curtis knows how to work hard.

Curtis will spend time with his family. I don't doubt annoying's ability to support a family well, what I do doubt is how he will spend time with his family. I picture him being a workaholic like my brother who is a little oblivious to the needs of his family. Even with that he is still the best husband and father I know and I love him very much.

I'm not freaked out anymore about getting to know Curtis better. I don't like to date anyone I can't see myself married to someday. I think it is a waste of time. Not that I'm going to marry Curtis or even date him. He could very well not want to leave Cache Valley even if I do date him. It may just never work. BUUUT IF he lets me I'm going to find out. 

Yesterday Carline talked about how Heavenly Father wants her here. So many people talk about how Heavenly Father led them here. I have never felt that although I can see blessings I've enjoyed. This morning I was reading my patriarchal blessing and it says the Lord will bless me wherever I CHOOSE TO RESIDE. I am so grateful I met Curtis, Rich and YES even annoying BECAUSE they are ALL men I can see myself married to even if I was specifically forbidden to develop ANYTHING at all with Rich. It is freaky to me that annoying and Rich are half Chinese BUUUT I love that Curtis isn't. 

I am still moving to Salt Lake City EVEN if it does work with Curtis because I know that Heavenly Father doesn't care where I choose to make my home and that the choice is mine. There are good men out there who don't have to be half Chinese OR Poly AND from EVERY walk of life. Maybe that realization is why I ended up here. Maybe that's why I can finally leave!!!

I love life and I love the plan of happiness. It truly is. I don't know how my life will turn out but it excites me. Kyle and Tucker were telling me yesterday I will make a bunch of money in Real Estate with the amazing Salt Lake City market right now. I have faith that my life will be amazing now. I've always had faith to make the right choices. FINALLY I don't just think it will end well in my head. I feel it where I need to. That is a tender mercy and precious gift.