Urban Poly Princess

Yesterday I got off at the Arena Trax stop to use my movie gift card to buy some snacks since I'd be gone from home AND food the entire day and couldn't see my way out of that anytime soon. It was the wrong stop to get off at and the theater at Gateway is at the other side of the mall. I actually walked to another stop the theater was just at. I was sweating the entire day and ticked off at the world. I keep trying to maintain a good attitude but my self just doesn't want to let me enjoy that. I don't know why it is so damn difficult for me to get a job. My car is fine but without money I can't pay the damn insurance and it just isn't worth it to try using it without insurance. The damage is too great if something happens on the road.


I got to the law office just fine for my survey which was alright. They served Jimmy Johns sandwiches and asked for our opinions on different cases. I saw my bus drive away when I went to wait for it. Instead, I walked 11 blocks, yes that's 11 blocks in the sweltering heat. My clothes were drenched when I finally got on Trax and made my way back  home.


My brother suggested I apply for fast food and convenience stores just now. I am at the library so they told me to get off the phone or take my call outside. I told him there was no way in hell I wanted to clean public restrooms. I wouldn't mind working retail part time at City Creek Mall since it is so close. I am going to apply at Macy's and Nordstrom. I told him I'd get shot if I worked at some convenience store downtown.


I actually would love working at Sephora. I am going to look at that and see if they're hiring. I worked at Sears and Liberty House a long time ago. I need something in the downtown area. I am frustrated and crying for nothing - YES in public. I can't believe this. My brother didn't calm me this time, he just made me more upset. It just sucks so freaking much. They were supposed to let me know if I got that Accounting technician job. They didn't which probably means I didn't get it but why the hell did she tell me anything at all if I had no chance there. I don't want to keep attending my ward anymore. I haaate telling people I am unemployed and I hate their advice even more. It is bad enough that I don't want to see or talk to them. I thought I was supposed to be attending all the Midsingle activities that abound here so I can get to know someone. I refuse to be one of those older aged-out people that still attend.


Isn't that what my Father-in-Heaven wants me to do? What the hell is going on? Why didn't I get that part time customer service position in Lehi? Why the hell is anything  happening. My telephone was off 3 days until my mother decided to help and pay for it. My mother keeps harping on me telling me I'm not listening to my Heavenly Father or I'd get the answer that I need to work somewhere else.