Urban Poly Princess

I've never done the question thing before although I've heard we can and should do it. I've always felt I have the tools to receive guidance on anything without having to specifically wait for conference. Conference gives us direction on what will best help us for the next 6 months. There are always many things we need to improve. I've always viewed conference as a way to streamline that and prioritize that although I don't usually think I'm going to gain anything new. Repetition focuses us automatically on what we need. It's why temple attendance helps us remember our purpose and renew our commitment to achieving that.
I get how identifying what we need instruction on will focus what we listen for. When I was on a mission it felt like everything they talked about was missionary-related. If we focus by writing down what we specifically hope to receive answers for it completely makes sense that I'll notice those things. So I'm going to do that tomorrow and Sunday. Actually I'm going to do that tonight and then listen for those specific things tomorrow and Sunday.
I know what my future holds and I can't deny that. It actually puts everything into perspective for me. It just isn't unfolding the way I think it would or should. I've tried to rationalize what I know away BUT I know what I do and I get to deal with that however that manifests itself or doesn't. I don't get why I have to deal with all this other stuff. To me what I know matters more than anything else.
The whys to things I don't understand aren't really important. What is important is what actually happens, what I know and how I respond to that. I do know for sure I can't just ignore this or avoid this. That's easy for me to do BUT I know no one's perfect. I'm certainly not so I'm not sure why I keep expecting or hoping other people are or at least behave the way I think they should. We aren't meant to have perfect understanding. None of us would progress that way. I know I don't know everything and I know I'm not right all the time. I just think I am. I don't know why I think that but I do-STILL I've been wrong many times before and I've assumed things and jumped to conclusions frequently. I need to remind myself of that more. I know when I cop an attitude and I know that is just silly to dwell on what I might consider unacceptable.
What was bothering me for a long time has changed and that is good because I couldn't handle it anymore and I had to avoid ANY and ALL of those situations. If it didn't change I'd have to change a number of things just to stay active in my ward. I was going to do that but I didn't have to make those changes because those situations disappeared. Helene dragged me to Sunday school. She has no idea I wasn't going back to that class but I'm glad I did because the teacher is really good and I don't have anything I have to avoid there now. No one did anything wrong, it's just something I couldn't take anymore.