Urban Poly Princess

I FINALLY got 1 freakin hour of sleep AFTER I texted my friend. I sure as hell didn't want to do that but my commitments to fast and pray about it although they made me feel better did not allow me to go to sleep! Sooo AFTER all of that he's not even going to be at our ward temple night which is good because I don't have to be a bigger idiot but bad because what the hell? Did I really have to humiliate myself when he's not even going to be there? What was the purpose? When my alarm went off at 6am I was already awake so I did zumba then collapsed on my bed for the 1/2 hour before rushing to get ready in 20 minutes.
There have to be better ways to give me direction. I haven't had this annoying can't go to sleep until I do something thing in any other situation and really I've had enough. I'm going to go out of my way to B nice and friendly ALL THE TIME!!! That should improve my friendship BUT it better improve my sleep!!! Sooo today I'm running on fumes and I'm glad there's nothing I need to do tonight.
Obviously I don't get to ignore this BUT really sleep deprivation??? Isn't that a form of torture??? I'd love to speculate that it's the adversary but I can't even do that because I know it isn't. I guess I should be grateful I'm getting such dramatic attention but I'm not feeling that yet.