Urban Poly Princess

Looong day at work. I REALLY needed a break. It probably wasn't the best idea to go to fhe tonight when I knew we were helping someone move. I've moved sooo many times and I hate it every time I do it. I looove when everything is where I want it to be however. I considered not going to fhe tonight but I'm glad I attend regularly AND my annoying thinking would wonder all night if Heavenly Father was withholding blessings from me because I didn't go and help. Sooo I did. I am constantly appalled by how people live. Mindie's house would drive me crazy. Jennifer's would too. I like to get rid of stuff I'm not using and I like things clean all the time. It is one of the reasons I can't have a roommate. She is an awesome family history person. When I move I box things up myself. I get help with moving the boxes. I clean by myself too. Maybe I am a little compulsive but I'm alright with that. David was practically laying down when he gave the lesson. MayB it's a cultural thing but I wanted him to sit up. Discussing the gospel deserves our respect and attention. He was treating it too casual. That REALLY annoyed me BUT no one else seemed to mind and he certainly didn't. I did not like that. In the beginning I really thought I'd snap at him. I'm not sure why he is sooo good at getting on my nerves. I'm glad he didn't make it worse because I like not fighting with him and I don't think I'm supposed to anyway. I'm glad we helped Jennifer. I hope she travels safely to Canada. The Cache Valley County Librarian only makes 18,000 a year. There is no way I would agree to do that exclusively. I looked at the hours of operation and perhaps that's why it pays so little. I'd do it if they work with my schedule AND I want the same number of hours for 20,000 a year. That would give me the money I need to eliminate all my bills. The garnishment on my wages wants to take over 300 out of each check. I can't do that and pay for anything else that needs to be paid. I just took a loan out on my 401k. It is for a little over a thousand and will seem like nothing to pay it off. $8 will be taken from each paycheck for 5 years. Talk about sweet terms!!! The more I think about Cache County, the more I want them to hire me part time. I think I can do it since I don't work the weekends. The Librarian will be retiring just when my MBA is completed. My loan money will be used for paying my back taxes, insurance AND car safety check and registration. I talked to my credit counselor about the garnishment. He recommended I declare bankruptcy when I told him I have multiple loans I'm trying to pay off. I REALLY didn't want to do that but I'm feeling like I don't have a choice at all. I wish that stupid company would've just accepted what I could pay and what I arranged with the credit counselor. Now they aren't going to get a penny if I do the bankruptcy route. The stupid route but how the hell am I supposed to survive? My mother's not going to help me and I've seen how the bishop thought he could help me too. I know my Heavenly Father helped me realize I need to take a loan out on my 401k. It will provide the money I need to survive if the garnishment happens with my next check. The more I consider it the more bankruptcy seems like the only solution for me. The irony is not lost on me. I need to do this quickly. I'm going to explore everything I possibly can. It's pretty rich when people talk about budgeting when I have a bunch of loans most of which were taken just to pay other loans AND rent AND electricity. I know it was my own stupidity, I know the church doesn't like this choice but I REALLY tried and I don't have another option. I hate this but somehow I need to find the strength to do this AND finish my MBA. I feel like my world is crumbling but somehow I need to keep it together and finish my MBA. I'm not sure why I always find myself on the edge like this. It reminds me of when I spent almost every penny on a ticket to Portland to take my class so I could work on my MLS. I remember watching my pennies AND flying to Oregon AND staying at the Days Inn hotel which is a complete trailer trash hotel BUT it was 140 a night AND the cheapest rate I could find. I've been there before and I did it. I know how tenacious I can be when I have to do that. Apparently the time is here again.