Urban Poly Princess

38 And it came to pass that many died in the wilderness of their wounds, and were devoured by those beasts and also the vultures of the air; and their bones have been found, and have been heaped up on the earth.
The Book of Mormon is so bloody. It is filled with so many stories of war and bloodshed. 12,532 Amalicites are slain while 6,562 Nephites are killed. 19,124 total are killed. What a complete waste of lives. They didn't have guns then, for the most part they had to be in the blood and gore. Usually I find places in the scriptures that make me envy the lives they led. This doesn't do that at all. Life is precious. One death is such a huge event. War seems to ignore this. I'm glad I live when I do, I'm happy to have the conventions I do as well. In some parts of the world people live in these conditions. How did I get so lucky? How will someone raised in violence and nurtured in wickedness be judged. How would they turn out any other way?
When I worked in the Christmas Box House children's shelter in Salt Lake I was confronted with the harsh reality that many children are mistreated and hurt when they are innocent. Sexual and physical abuse is all over the place. Where you would never expect it to be. These kids later end up in the boys group home. Unfortunately prison is the last step these kids often take. Many of them move from one age-appropriate facility to the next. 
The gospel is such a beacon in an ugly world. Even within the church ugliness exists. At least the ideal is defined specifically. I remember when some kids from Glendale told me I could adopt them if I wanted to do that. All children deserve a mother AND a father. While I know I could be an excellent parent I would never do that unless I was married. 
I still want to get married and have the type of family I know I am capable of having. Whether I am given that opportunity in this or the next life remains to be seen but despite that I am responsible to maximize my potential now. It is joyous and that is our object and design. That's why I want a family. I know my capacity for joy only exists as I marry someone I can love and respect and have a family with them. I can't wait to be a mother but if I have to do that in the next life so be it. Eternal increase is supposed to bring us joy. I am fine with however that manifests itself in my life.