Urban Poly Princess

I was thinking about my life and how I feel like I keep struggling to get right financially so I can work my real estate license, pay off all my bills and be prepared to serve anyone. The new alternator did not cost me as much as it could've BUUUT I definitely don't want any guy who is financially crappy like I am now. I am not making the effort I can.

Physically I'm not where I need to be either. I am going to focus on myself instead of trying to find my eternal companion. I want to feel good about my health. Without losing weight any pregnancy I had, that is if I can still get pregnant when and or if that ever happens - is dangerous because of this diabetes.  I feel like I keep trying to get out of this damn financial hole and there is always something else I need to pay. I always pay my tithing and read my scriptures I can't even imagine the hell I'd be in if I didn't. I still love myself but I feel like I've been working on these things forever without really stepping it up and changing.

I want choices. I don't want only to have the ugly old men in my ward to choose from. I want to be able to find someone who isn't a damn special spirit. I am the special spirit. I need to perfect myself physically and financially. I want to be working in real estate. I need to identify ALL the steps I can and need to take to meet my goals. Time is money and I feel like I'm wasting it.

Financial and physical excellence are my goals right now. I don't want someone ugly or fat so I need to lose weight myself. I don't want someone broke either. I got my nails done. If I'm going to spend an hour on that I need to spend the appropriate time on everything else to perfect myself physically. I was looking at the picture George took of me that I'm using on Facebook. My eyes really disappear when I smile.

I have to lose weight and I have to be financially stable.