Urban Poly Princess

BUUUT I'm off the entire weekend so it is worth it to stay and push through it. My girls just left so I am here for another 2 hours. I am attending the Regional Midsingles New Years Eve dance at the Stadium. I was going to buy a new black dress but then I thought of how I actually have 4 black dresses right now and the weather is cold so I'm just going to use the one I have and wear my comfy white boots along with my furry white decorative coat. It is just decorative as in it is NOOOT warm.

One of my girls got another job within NAF with our Human Resources. I am so happy for her. I had to cut hours this next week and the response was chilling. I can't help it if that is what I was dealt and it was difficult to let them know their formerly 40-hour  job was being cut in half. I do not like that position at all but it is all a part of being a manager. There are a lot of things I need to get rid of. I discovered MORE damn files retained probably by my girl who disillusioned herself into thinking they'd get rid of me and need her assistance. The first thing I'm doing is retrieving my key.

Since Ahllam left Helen thought that meant she'd get her hours ... uh NOOO!!! Anna was pushing to get her the hours too. Helen said Dale told her or rather told Ahllam she'd get Helen's hours when she moved to Texas in July, uh NOOO!!! I reiterated

I was informed I get to MC the soft opening. Things R FINALLY coming together. I am going through these files from forever ago. I need to buy some of that window washer solution for my car. I am going to leave base to get my windows clean and buy some other stuff. I need some bread. I think Walmart is the best place to do that since I want to spend a little over a dollar not $5.


People really love their library here. There has been a steady stream of people even with the limited services we are offering now.

It's like no librarian since the existence of the facility in 1968 ever threw ANYTHING away and each subsequent librarian just created their own files so we have files and files and files and you had better believe I'm purging what I can when I can. We are having our soft opening tomorrow even though our computers haven't been set up yet. At least all the books are back on the shelves. NOW to get them in order on the shelves.


My fingers are so dry from handling so much paper. My goal is not to eat out this week. I bought some French bread and mayonnaise this morning from Walmart along with some chips. I think I'm going to do it. We have our soft opening tomorrow. We got the flag hanged after multiple attempts and different ladders. It looks great. The main part of the library reminds me of a hanger and I am anxious to get some model planes hanging from the ceiling in there. Sooo many records and paperwork.


I have a couple hours left for work. I am working 40 hours a week so I need to coordinate everything. I can't wait until all of this stuff is done and I can focus on story times plus meeting people on base and developing relationships with them to help my library. It is looking fabulous and I can't wait for it to be completed.


Nata didn't have any gifts on Christmas to unwrap. I told her I would try to make up for it now. I am going to send her a box and I'm going to get my mother to wrap the things so she can open something even if it isn't on Christmas. My poor niece felt like a loser and its us that are her loser family.

It began to come down on my way to work this morning. I got here at 8:30 a.m. this morning. I made fried rice for my girls. Weird for a Christmas gift but I know they're not the type that like baked goods. Tomorrow or rather tonight I'm making cinnamon rolls for my boss and this other guy Roy who has helped us so much with the library.


That was the start of yesterday. This morning there was a bunch of snow but it's all good now. I can't wait to see Nata tomorrow on Skype. I love the rest of my nieces and nephews and I can't wait to see them either. I'm at work. The library is FINALLY beginning to shape up. My boss and Roy bought us pizza before they disappeared on us. I have a bunch left still to take home.


I've been trying to make all of my Mid single activities lately. I'm wondering if I need to get a new home teacher. He is a good home teacher and he has a girlfriend. This is what I really liked about him because I would never date him EVER. He is a good person but he isn't the sharpest saw in the tool box. Financially he is SOOO NOOOT what I want either. He and Donna make a good match.


He didn't like when I decided to quiz and talk with this other guy in the ward and he kept trying to make he or I uncomfortable which didn't happen. He wanted to talk about him again when I saw him at our FHE too. VERY ANNOYING!!! I didn't give him what he wanted because I didn't have anything negative to say about the other guy and even if I did I wouldn't say it to my home teacher and give him false hope.

Thank Goodness!!! I am so happy it was moved to next Monday especially since we're closed Thurs/Friday/Saturday. We will have the same schedule next week with New Year's weekend. I had to tell one of the girls her hours would be cut significantly. She is upset and told me she would have to talk to Dale about it. We are ALL going to have to cut our hours. I can't help it if this is how it works. I feel bad for her but this is the way it is right now.


One of my other flex girls works extremely hard and I would love to increase her hours and get rid of this other one. She won't do anything unless she's specifically told to do that. I don't like being micromanaged OR having to do that either. FHE tonight is a potluck. I don't have time to make anything good. I'll just have to pick something up at the store. Maybe I'll do Little Ceasar's and cut it up on a tray from the dollar store or cookies from there. My go-to place when I'm running late and don't have time to do anything.

I didn't turn some videos in and now I have a fee of  $12.50. GRRR!!! I want to go to the library and finish rearranging things but I also know it is time for the rest of the stuff to get done too. I'm so grateful for many blessings I enjoy. It is so nice to have this day off however. All the working to make up the hours I missed from the snow first and then because I couldn't find my key.

I just want to go home and watch videos and nap. It's weird how much I need these breaks. I can't imagine a more perfect job for me. I love this and all it will add to my life. Next stop real estate. I have to get on this too - asap!!!

Since the carpeting is being redone it is time now to move the shelves while they are empty. I am so happy we got it done!!! I am so happy about that. Now I am going through all the old paperwork former librarians for some reason hung on to longer than they should've. It is monotonous which is why it is driving me a little stir crazy. I love how open and light the new set up is and I'm glad my boss seems to like it too.


I am having fun redoing this and I can't wait until it is all how I like it to be. Tonight the Asian girls are having a Korean movie night thing I would love to attend but she lives in South Jordan and it will take me longer to get there. The temple is closed the next 2 Thursdays which is nice for me. I have to stay until 6:30 tonight to get my 40 hours in.


Monday is our last push to get this library back to normal-looking at least. A bunch of volunteers are helping Monday to get this completed. I've gone through so many binders to get rid of items. I am still doing that and unlike the other longer days although this is longer it isn't as long as it's been these past few nights to make up hours for my snow day and my key drama day.


I am reviewing all the old documents they have in my office. It doesn't seem like people threw ANYTHING away. NO MORE!!! I wanted a big jack like they have at the downtown Target but they didn't have any here. REALLY???!!! Come on Layton. Their Target shoes were ugly too. Downtown target has nice boots. The Layton buyer sucks. I love how the shelves moved opens up the children and teen rooms. The shelves are ALL wooden. I love that. They are beautiful.


Chief Hiatt and Chief Gaither brought the staff cookies and stopped in to say hello. It was very nice of them. I love how it opened up the children's and teen rooms. They will be bright and happy now.


I love my job and I am so happy it landed on my lap the way it did. I can't wait to make the most of this opportunity and I'm doing it right now. My boss is very cool and the base in general is very cool too.

I'm at work now and I took a break to order pizza since I don't want to waste time right now and I'm hungry. I just ordered a veggie with chicken and a 20oz Diet Coke. Last night or rather yesterday I left early as in around 3ish. The drive to work I began at 6:15am but didn't finish until 8:09am. Many vehicles were sliding and stalled everywhere. The roads were filled with snow from the storm during the night. It was weird to drive 25-30 mph on the freeway but it was the safest method.


I decided to shovel snow last night from the driveway and then before going back inside the house I decided to grab my boxes from my car. I did then I tried to return to the house but I discovered I didn't have my key. I went around the house and yelled at my mother to let me in. I was certain I left the keys in the car.


I had some adventure with rip-off dishonest locksmiths before I had one charge me $80 for what took him 5 minutes to open. Unfortunately my keys were nowhere to be seen. I had them to open the car but not to open the house. After looking for the keys for hours my mother talked to the locksmith I used to see how much he'd charge to create a new key. He said $220 but he'd apply the $80 I'd already spent to the payment. It sounded great but I waited for this morning to get another quote from the dealer who referred me somewhere else. Glenn's keys wanted $220 PLUS an additional $50 service fee and then additional cost for the key. Oh hell NOOO!!!


I had to call in to work. The new circulation desk was delivered. It is beautiful. I got here around 4pm and to make it worth it I'm staying until 8pm. I am doing BOOORING but necessary online training. I also decorated my office with stuff from home. I will bring a couple more plants and then some books and then I'm done for now.

I had concerns about the pay and I didn't really know what I was getting myself into BUUUT it is exactly what I want - a good library job that is flexible enough to allow me to pursue real estate AND an LDS social life. I know my social life won't end just because I leave the Mid-singles program BUUUT it is easier to meet people at the same stage of life that way.

I am so grateful for first just a job period and secondly for a position that allows me to develop my leadership and creativity as much as I want to do that. It is fun to be the boss and my other positions would not have given me that. I can't believe this is what I received. I am so grateful for this opportunity. It is a job I can stay at for a long time. It is in leadership AND it gives me the freedom to develop this exactly how I want. Where else will I get to do that?

Life is very, very good. My boss didn't go to the Christmas party AND he told me tickets were $15 instead of $10 since I'm a manager. Christmas party time is soon. Time to be social and interact with my ward peeps.

I changed my temple time to Thursday night. The Saturday mid-day shift I originally planned  to join called me twice to see if I'd be there today. I woke up extremely early Thursday and made it there to my Library at 5:45. I left my Thursday meeting at 2:17 and got there but since I couldn't find my locker key I had to get a sister to go with me to sign the locker key out. It is such an inconvenience although I get why they have to do that.

Thursday nights have half hour dinner breaks. That was very nice although I am disappointed by the prices at the temple cafeteria. I plan on taking my own food in the future. After a very hectic day at work it was great to have a calm evening in the temple. I love it there and I am grateful I can still do and AND not have to work on Saturday early morning anymore.

I have decided on my new schedule. The library will continue its old hours and be open late on Mondays and Wednesdays. I will work Monday and Tuesday from 7am to 6pm with an hour lunch, Wednesday from 7am to 8pm with an hour lunch and then Thursday from 5:45-2:15 with half an hour lunch. I won't work Friday or Saturday. That'll give me my full time hours AND allow me to attend FHE and ward temple night usually held on Tuesdays. I'll miss institute but although the teachers were interesting, I disliked their emphasis on the intellectual aspects of the gospel. It was fine but one reason why I loved Bro. Salmon in Providence is he highlighted intellectual stuff but he never let it overshadow the importance of the spirit and the Savior.

I will develop my real estate on Fridays and Saturdays and I'm just not going to take that job at the U.

I am getting so excited about my job. The air force mission is to win in the air, space and cyberspace. Since the main part of the library will feature antique planes and aviation, I can develop the children's area to focus on space and the teen area will handle cyberspace. I am only thinking of decor but each fits those selections anyway. My bishopric is getting reorganized tomorrow. Tonight is our Christmas Party. We are all supposed to don ugly sweaters. I found a black sweater with gold lettering stating this is my ugly Christmas sweater but it isn't ugly, it is black and cute.

I didn't really want to intentionally buy something ugly although I did consider a few this is the one I settled on. I think it is at 7pm but I need to look for sure. I am going to miss bishop. It is unfortunate he has known me as the unemployed girl for so long. I want my business cards printed as soon as possible. I am going to network like crazy for my library.

I need to think of appropriate gifts for my library girls and an appropriate gift for my boss. I spent about $50.00 on a Salt Lake Temple lego set for my office. It is the perfect conversation piece. It is symbolic of Utah and not just the church. I want everyone I meet to get a sense of who I am and definitely when they see my lego creation. My mother's going to help me. I thought it would be simple but it isn't and there are 12000-17000 pieces with illustrations that'll hopefully guide me enough to put this thing together. It states on the box it is for people 12 and up. I feel like I'm going to need help. My mother's agreed to help where she can.

Early this morning as in 3am, that's when I tend to do any thinking, I thought a lot about how I needed I study my scriptures more intently along with the recent conference. I have never been more sure of the gospel before in my life. This past year has been hell. I am grateful I found out about my record and that I've been able to expunge my record BUUUT I am also a little concerned that my Father in Heaven let me flounder as much as I did. It hasn't been easy for my mother to support me. I should be supporting her now.

I am so blessed but I still feel weary and beaten and I REALLY don't get what I was supposed to learn from that experience from Hell FOR SO FREAKING LONG. I have my dream job EXCEPT the pay. My library looks amazing and I can't wait to make it as great as I know it can become. Today I started work at 7am and it was fine. I told my boss I am going to work at 6am Thursday which is when he begins. He doesn't care as long as I work under 40 hours and do what I need to do. I'm changing my temple shift to Thursday night for my real estate venture AND because I am going to make the concerted effort to get to know, date AND marry someone and I am going to attend all the mid single activities I can as soon as I get a chance.

This is my last year or actually less than a year that I have. I will turn 46 in September and I don't plan on being like all these other people I know who keep attending even when they've aged out. Maybe I'll move to Layton when that happens so I don't have to attend a Rose Park Ward.

It is easy to read the scriptures and counsel from our leaders daily. That and prayer is how we can all draw closer to Him each day. It has never been more clear or obvious. I've thought about my friend actually falling away from the church. From what I know of him it doesn't seem possible BUT many of the elite have fallen and lost their blessings. I NEVER want that to happen to me EVER BUT if I keep feeling cheated and forgotten and instead forget what brings me lasting and then even happiness right away I know I and anyone can end up in that position.

Heavenly Father loves me and keeps blessing me. I know the challenges made me better although I know for sure I never would've chosen them. I can't wait to get through this week, feel better physically then devote myself to Zumba again along with eating healthily. I love my library and my new office. I can't wait to decorate. I am so happy I'm the Director. I love my job. I want to exceed expectations AND rock real estate too. Life is filled with opportunity. I am grateful.

I wish I could be as great as I know I can be. I know perfection is a process. I just wish it didn't require what it did sometime.

I just need to explore more. There is a Target nearby, a bunch of chain restaurants and George said there's even an ivory homes community nearby. I could live there. It isn't Logan and Salt Lake is close enough too. Moria suggested I move there eventually and I thought I will NEVER move there but I could do it. Not anytime soon however. I am going to finish paying the taxes I owe first.
I didn't go to church today. I wanted to rest for next week

No temple today for me and next week I will start the mid day shift. I have to sign these forms to accept the job at the U. My priority however is the library and I am going to do an amazing job there.
I feel weak and gross all over. I missed a nice mid singles dance at the capitol. I am so grateful for my job. I love the challenge and there is so much for me to learn and do as soon as possible.

So much to do and to be done. I am grateful for every opportunity I receive.

I am just on here doing what the hell I can and I am also feeling so very crappy. I had my eye appointment today which is nice. My vision is worse which sucks BUUUT I can see much better and the glasses can rest!!! I hate them so much. I have my access AGAIN, sort of!!! There are so many different systems and I am trying to get on all the ones I'm supposed to be on. I know eventually this will all make sense but then in the meantime it sure sucks a whole hell of a lot!!!


My computer doesn't work yet and someone from Jamie's old area is helping as a personal favor to her which is very nice because I get to benefit from that. I just can't wait until I'm in the library and really in my own office.


I am on someone else's PC now. Things work with an access card which works for me so hopefully I won't have to do this much longer. I want everything running as it should so I can just concentrate on doing my job well. I went to an eye appointment today so I'm staying longer today.

I left my contacts on and fell asleep. Since I was catching a cold it follows that one of my eyes would get infected. The redness is decreasing however and it isn't as bad as it was that one time in Logan.I do however feel like a damn dog since I'm not wearing makeup AND wearing my glasses. I called Sister Call to change my temple shift. I'm moving to Saturday Mid day for now until I add the real estate thing. I want multiple sources of income. I NEVER ever want to be that hard up for money EVER again.

Boss is in Las Vegas... Which means I have to come up with things to do since I can't get on the damn computer ORRR net... THANK U secure government. When that FINALLY clears I'll be able to move forward. I am doing a lot of thinking about decorating. I love aviator themes and how can I NOT do that in the library? I went to the Air museum today to look at what they have and see if I can sweet talk the curator so I can get him to help me hang stuff from the ceiling. I know I can make it look super-cool.

Maybe it's too obvious to use that theme. BUUUT what the Hell AND I can trick it out for the little ceremony we need to throw in mid-January. I want to hone the points we want to focus on during the ceremony. Like the me-in-30-seconds thing I'm going to target the message and market myself, the library and Dale so we all look amazing AND are amazing by providing the best services we can.

The U hired me for that patient acting position. I'm taking it. It isn't very many hours but it can supplement my income and since I set my own schedule I can make it work whatever and however that might be. It is so easy and although it only pays $15 an hour it is worth it part time and since I set the schedule I can certainly make that work.

I think George gave me my cold. I thought I felt crappy because it was that time of the month but that's done now and I still feel horrible. My computer access could take as long as 3 days now. There was a form my boss didn't know I needed to sign. He also had to sign it along with some other guy. That is so irritating. There is only so much I can read before I go crazy. I am however going to start scheduling events and compiling a list of things I want Dale to do as well as get resources gathered. I am going to schedule ULA conference dates I plan to attend too. There is so much to do and I am very excited about that.

I also need to compile some pictures for decorating ideas. There is so much to do and I'm so excited about all of that.

I think David is doing his best but it's just a feeling I have. I think my reaction is just more of my diva princess thing I always have to remind myself to overcome. I hope and pray he never makes those stupid choices that can lead to his not receiving the amazing blessings he can enjoy. He is the most intelligent AND spiritual person I know. His weaknesses pale in comparison to his strengths.

WOW!!! I looked up David's LinkedIn profile to see if he was still graduating this year. I think he is. Sooo with him on my mind I had a weird dream last night. We were both at the same training in Utah. I talked to him and he told me he was living and working in Colorado. He also told me he had left the church. His best feature is his testimony. I've been worried about that all day. Instead of going to FHE first I am at Harmon's right now. I wrote him a long message on Facebook asking him to please consider the choices he makes. I don't think anything's wrong with working in Colorado or anywhere. I don't think for a second you have to live in Utah to maintain your testimony. I do believe I was given that dream for a reason however.

AFTER writing my message I just tried to send it and it said he's not receiving messages from me. I wished him a happy birthday in October. I can't believe him.

I am such an idiot to even try. What the hell. One day I hope my dream never comes true. Even if he is a jerk he has always had a firm testimony. I don't want anyone to ever lose their blessings. I always thought he lost them long ago in Logan when I first interacted with him. Now I think his fall to hell is complete.

This is a huge organized entity I hadn't really considered. WOW!!! I was interested in attending the national military library organization stuff but I had no idea there is a huge organization just for air force librarians. There is so much information available that it makes it sooo amazing. I wasn't encouraged by the databases mentioned in the information online and posted. I seriously considered trying to get our patrons access to Utah's pioneer databases accessible from any Utah public library BUUUT after finally viewing the real list there isn't a need.

There is so much to learn and I can't wait. My brother told me to arrange things so I work 40 hours AND supplement my income with real estate. Since I'll be setting my own schedule this shouldn't be a problem. I can't get enough of my nieces and nephews. They are a delight. I am so grateful my brother was able to change my brake pads for me. I need my car to last longer. I hate that it feels like it drains money from me continually. I need to get my safety check completed next month and it will help. Looking at how worn my brake pads showed me how needed it was.

George has all sorts of tools. He loves doing this stuff. I am lucky. He changed my alternator for me once. He isn't afraid to try to do it.

The air force chief of staff puts out a yearly reading/media/art list since 2006 to allow airmen to have common points of reference. I can't wait to learn as much as possible and I can't wait to decorate this thing. One of my new workers reached out and emailed me to see if I'd do lunch with she and the other workers this Monday. I agreed of course and I can't wait to meet them all.

Mom is watching George's new dog while his family goes to Vegas for the night. They'll bring her home tomorrow or Sunday. We went late to our family meeting with uncle Lehonitai and aunty Lini but AFTER an hour there she still hadn't arrived. I wanted to get home. I had to stop at Lehi and get some caffeinated beverage. Time for me to work out and eat well again. It is so time.

I'm so grateful for the many opportunities I continue to receive.

My brother is changing my brake pads. I am here in Provo feeling stuffed. We are sleeping over to see Aunty Lini and uncle Tai at the Provo Sunset ward chapel tomorrow. Originally they planned on meeting and eating together at Golden Corral in Orem BUUUT they changed the plan. Aunty Lini and uncle Inoke are back from their mission in Tonga. Uncle Tai is visiting with his wife now too.

My mother kept freaking out about how there was supposed to be a storm today so we weren't going to travel to Happy Valley. I bought everything to provide Thanksgiving for my mother since I don't know how long it'll be before she isn't here anymore. She's 71 now. I love my nieces and nephews so much. They are so cute.

I FINALLY met my boss. He is amazing. I will enjoy working with him very much. I told him the only way I'm going to be able to reconcile this is if I work part time. They seem to only hire people with a guarantee of 25 hours a week but then he told me I can work 40 hours if I want.

Training - the mandatory so the company isn't liable type AND signing more papers. I am so grateful for this job but sooo not grateful for what I'll be paid. I was trying to look up the Dugway proving ground librarian. He is my contemporary in Utah. I wonder if he's going to our conference.

I was hoping to meet my new boss today but I didn't. I am going to go home and sleep. I don't get commissary or PX benefits. I wonder if Dougway Proving Ground and Hill Air Force Base collaborate at all. I'm tired mainly because that training is draining. There are aspects of my job I love and aspects I don't.

I like that I was hired as a supervisory librarian. I have 2 employees one of whom is full time and from lodging.

I love it so much buuut when I have to work the 10am session it makes for a looong day. I got out around 12:15pm. It was nice to see Elder Okabe there and then to see the sister the works the receptionist desk. She yelled out my name as they were filing in for the 10am session. Tisina, mom's friend, was also there. I am fortunate to have the connections I enjoy.

I saw Ofa Pulu the mother of one of the little girls I mentored with the Asian Association. It is getting colder. Tomorrow is Stake Conference. I am at Harmon's now. I wanted to get online asap to see if any email had backed up. That performing artist at the U to pretend you are a patient came through. It pays $15 an hour and it would be a nice little supplement.

So everything is done and cleared and I can't wait!!! There is a division in the SLA or Special library Association for Military Librarians and their conference is at the beginning of December in Virginia. I would looove to attend and I definitely want to be a member too. ULA is at the Davis Conference Center this year so it'll be very convenient to Hill AFB.

I am going to prepare now. There is a Hawaiian librarian at the local high school closest to the base or Northridge High School I added her on LinkedIn after doing a search. I am going to gather all the information I possibly can pull. It is so fun to make plans and then implement them. They've done a fantastic job with the library so far. Their events look fun and amazing.

I just emailed my boss about the workshop. My mother and brother told me about how economical it is to fly with the military. Especially since I'm working with the Air Force. I hope I can attend. I know it is rather soon but I had to try since it hasn't happened yet for the year.

I am going to start compiling a document with information to help me at my new position.

I went to get my fingerprints taken at Hill AFB earlier today. I couldn't find the building at first although I did run into the library. When I was done I drove back there. I am so happy. It is the perfect size. North Logan is larger as is Logan and Hyrum. All the County libraries are larger. When Herriman was at the strip mall of course it was smaller. It is about the same size as the City Sweet Library in the Avenues. I am excited to see it especially since it's getting renovated now.

Next week I start Tuesday. I'm so excited!!! FINALLY!!! This is exactly the job I want. Managing a public library. I never thought it'd be on a military base but that's just fine with me. I ate lunch today at the mall food court. It is a crappy mall and the people there were NOOOT normal. They and that area just South of the base is not a nice area. When I went to ULA at the Davis Conference Center I went to a nicer part of Layton. It is newer and developed more. The base is so much larger than I had first supposed.

I intend to get to know EVERYONE I possibly can. There is an actual newspaper just for the base. Mail considers Hill AFB a city in Utah. Interesting. There were 2 pots of boiled peanuts at the gas station stop. It reminded me of Hawaii. I love Filipino boiled peanuts. There were 2 different flavors and I know they eat them in the South. I welcome this chance to meet a bunch of new people and to share the gospel with them eventually. Baby steps. I can't wait for all of this to come together.

It is so nice to worry about work again. I looove that I'm over the library. My boss seems very cool AND he is a Director of Force Development Flight 75FSS/FSD. I wish I actually knew what that really meant.

I bought some chocolate muffins today for AJS tomorrow. I am going to visit, take the chocolate muffins and Thank you cards. I'm so grateful to them for how much they helped me. If I hadn't been trying to get my numbers I never would've applied for the position in the first place.

Extensive paperwork AND a detailed online questionnaire PLUS I also get to go in and get my fingerprints done. I need my official transcript sent with my MLS listed. My official title is supervisory librarian. I am so excited. This is the perfect job for me - a part time librarian who runs the whole show. Sooo up my alley!!! All the buildings on base look alike to me and I spent a fair amount of time running around being lost. Add that to they're building a traffic light at the South entrance and I got to leave my Driver's license with some guard while I turned around and went to visitor's parking where I had to get a visitor's pass AFTER showing them my license, registration and proof of insurance. The visitor's office was filthy and I was disgusted with it. Isn't the military supposed to be freaky clean? The women who work there should think to dust the damn computers and desks visitors have to look at. Everything is old too. It can be clean and old however. I don't know how they stand it.

I am sooo grateful I have this job. I will prove my worth before I even start to work on a pay raise. I met someone named Bob in the office. He is retired from the NAF or the division I work for. I invited him to visit the library. I'd like to complete everything I need to do then start identifying grants the library may qualify for. I'm not sure how that works since it's a federal thing. Tonight is my ward Christmas party/auction to raise money. The drive was fine. It takes about 22 minutes. It is closer than many libraries I used to work at regularly. It is closer than Bingham Creek, Sandy, Draper, Herriman, Riverton and the South Jordan libraries. If I hadn't lived in Logan I wouldn't have realized that. Weird. I just never went North for any reason.

That Korean restaurant Carline took us to is a couple blocks from base. I went and got Bulgogi Kim bap before I came home. I am sooo going to be a frequent customer there. It is a rundown place but their food is excellent and reasonably priced. I haven't found a good Korean restaurant in Utah.

I got the correct name of the man who interviewed me so I'm going to send him a thank you card. Dale Emmerson. His LinkedIn page is filled with impressive experience. I'm going to do my homework and research on him too. Rather on everything I can find about the library.

Dale wasn't kidding and someone called me today. I am going there tomorrow to fill out paperwork and I officially begin on the 24th. I'm very excited.

Thelina also said it was her last day. I heard from Roseman University and they're not giving me another interview. REALLY???!!! I thought at least I'd get that. I applied for a Global Operations Software Trainer job at Merit Medical and a Performing Artist job at the U. It is to pretend to be a patient and act out scenarios for medical students. I just need to apply for stuff EVERY day. I'm trying to incorporate the 15, 10, 2 principle.

I still have the number for Dale and so I called it. It went directly to voice mail and I discovered his last name is Hendrickson. I just applied for my 3rd job. A real estate position. I wanted to apply at Kelley Services too but it is now after 6pm.

I called Dale from Hill AFB and at least I discovered his last name is Hendrickson. I think I found him on Facebook but I'm not certain. I think he lives in Brigham City. It is actually faster for me to drive there than for him since my mother is almost in North Salt Lake City but not quite to their city limits.

Job-hunting continues to be annoying and frustrating.

I applied for 3 jobs, 2 at some recruiting firm named The Job Window. Upon closer inspection they are a front for recruiting demonstrators at Sam's Club or Costco's. Annoying. I thought they were a national recruiter with local offices/recruiters. I bought food from the store A HUUUGE MISTAKE. I spent $8 on potstickers, an egg roll, raspberries and yogurt with some sort of seltzer drink I'm NEVER buying again. It just tastes like Perrier.

The water is off at home so I'm not going there and my mother's at the family history library. It is only after 3 so I have 2 more hours to kill. No word yet from anyone at Hill Air Force Base. I am trying to get Dawna - some lady who ran our Professional Networking Group to give me the contact 411 for someone she knows there.

It takes half an hour to drive there and I found a Facebook page for the library online. If I ever actually do that job I'm going to take advantage of the state resources and then also meet and form alliances with other Layton librarians at the local Davis county libraries in the area. I'm not moving if I get the job. Half an hour is fine. It's just that I usually don't travel North. I'd go to the Bountiful temple when Salt Lake was closed but other than that there was never any reason to travel North.

When I get hungry or if I get hungry again I can just hit up MickeyD's. Actually I want some cheese but I just refuse to pay the prices here although cheese would've cost me a little less than $3 and I wouldn't be ticked right now.

I need a job-finding activity right now. I've exhausted my indeed leads and ula, county, state - everything else.

From yesterday

Today some director called me from Hill Air Force Base. He wanted to be sure I was alright with less than 40 hours a week. YES, I'm alright with that. Actually I want that. It sounds like an amazing job I'd love ALTHOUGH it pays 16.75 an hour and it is a solo librarian position that would do ALL the programming - Children, Teens AND Adults. There are 2 other library aids that also work there. I am sooo up for that sort of challenge BUUUT the position should pay A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE. I do like the part time aspect however because it will allow me to develop my real estate thing. He did sound like we could work on the pay however which encouraged me.

At the end he told me he would send my name to Human Resources and that they would call me with an offer. I was almost about to ask him if he didn't want to interview me first but I caught myself in time. I told him I'd watch my email. I haven't heard anything YET which is most frustrating. I went to my interview with Robert Half today. It was alright, actually it was very good. I will make sure to write my Thank you card tonight. I'm hanging out at Harmon's so I can check my email periodically. It is after 5 now so I probably need to wait until tomorrow.

It's getting cold in here.

Yesterday this ward acquaintance - he's been at fhe which is why I recognize him, asked me out of the blue if I'd go to New York with him for Thanksgiving where we could watch the parade, go and see his girls and just have fun. OF COURSE New York for Thanksgiving sounds amazing, with some guy in my ward who is good-looking BUUUT divorced with children AND who has never even asked me out or even sought me out just for conversation. I asked him if he was going to pay for my ticket BECAUSE THAT'S why I'm not going. He said he couldn't but that my ticket would only be a little over $400. I thanked him for the invitation BUUUT seriously???

If he developed a friendship with someone he'd probably find someone to go with him. He is physically attractive to me. It was so strange. It didn't feel like he was even asking me out. A buddy trip perhaps? He needs to work on his technique.

Last night I went with Cara, bishop and his wife to my friend Lusi's house. Her father just passed away. He is 88 and had been ill for some time. Lusi was the YA rep in the first Tonga ward I attended in Salt Lake City. She is stalwart and although she lives in Salt Lake she doesn't communicate in English unless she has to do that. Lusi is one of 15, yes 15 children. 3 are triplets. Bishop has 6 kids. I told Sister White last night I bet she thought she had a big family.

Bishop was perfect last night. I waited for he, his wife and Cara so we could go nicely in together. We had a nice conversation with them. I'm glad I was there so we could do that well and keep the cultural norms. I'm so glad my mother found this nice crocheted blanket I could give Lusi. I wanted to do that for her. Cara sent a card around the RS to sign and bishop gave her another card. I did the traditional thing. She cried when I gave it to her she was so moved.

I love how stalwart her entire family is. We could all learn from her family. I see her mother in the temple EVERY Saturday. She hardly understands English but she is there EVERY Saturday.

I certainly don't want to quit AJS but my mother told me she doesn't think she can afford to help me pay for gas there. I already spent money on my insurance or rather the bank paid it and I''ll have to pay it back or risk closing my account again which I certainly don't want. When I was considering temporary agencies I felt a spiritual inclination towards Robert Half so I went out of my way to apply with them  BUUUT no one ever returned a call to me.

Frustrated I was annoyed with the recruiter who didn't call me back. LDS Employment services had Tiffany come to speak with us. I already had a bad attitude because it was the lady who didn't return my phone calls Tiffany. It turned out to be a different Tiffany. Every other AJS member had interviews with Tiffany and that ticked me off because I had that initial spiritual nudge but NOTHING. Sooo I decided to try again and I emailed the new Tiffany who replied she'd forward my resume to the first Tiffany. NOTHING happened and I decided to leave that alone BUUUT she called me and so I decided to make an effort with her and called her back. She was very pleasant on the phone and I told her I wanted temporary work since nothing had happened yet with the jobs I had applied for. I am meeting with her Monday at 3pm.

I'm trying to keep following the AJS principles even if I don't have the gas money. I will borrow and get money to continue this if I can get an assignment with Robert Half. That would be so sweet. INALJ is a fabulous resource. I found a Hill Air Force Base librarian supervisory job along with a Sr Event Coordinator job I'd love at the U. Sometimes I feel like I have too many scattered interests. I looove event planning but then I also love decorating and real estate and libraries.

The state has a great job I'd love doing too. I requested a new password so I can apply for it but it hasn't sent me one yet. I even bothered looking because of the INALJ Utah site. It is a fabulous resource I am happy to have found. I'm not going to quit AJS if I can help it and Robert Half may allow me to retain it.

Our director Christy was ticked at Trevor and I although she addressed ALL of us about what we were doing. She said basically that we weren't putting forth the effort the missionaries were to get the jobs we wanted. I wanted to scream at her but it was better to say nothing. She said she was led by the spirit to tell us that. How the hell are you supposed to argue with that? I am really putting forth the effort. I haven't incorporated my zumba and eating healthy again which I know will help but I certainly didn't need her attitude. Some bishop called her and wanted to know what was happening. I wonder if it was my bishop.

Maybe she feels we need a kick in the pants. Whatever. I just did not appreciate how she was acting. I am happy whenever anyone has success BUT when I HAVE been working my butt off to try to reach the metrics they've developed for us it is frustrating when nothing's happened yet.

I went to the U's job fair. It was impressive. When I was there I attended job fairs but they were nothing like this. I made a point to meet the Biofire recruiter. Her name is Kim and I appreciated very much what she told me. She said whoever was hired would be starting from scratch and putting the whole system together EXACTLY what I like. I looove any assignment where I am in charge of creating something new. I want that job.

I also applied for an editor/office manager position at Friendemic. It sounds like an amazing company to work for and they're located downtown. She looked at me condescendingly and questioned my editing skills. My name and appearance don't lead people to believe I can do that. They look at me and my name and assume stupidly English is my second language. When I encounter people like that I just think racist condescending dingbat. YES I do go there because people go there all the damn time with me. I wonder if she'll even give me an interview. I hope she does and I hope I can change her stupid initial assumption.

I feel good about my phone interview I had yesterday. I don't know what my competition is like however which is always the case with these librarian jobs. I think there are enough differences from StevensHenager to challenge me. I would be part of a library team. The facility is beautiful which matters a lot to me. I still hope to get an interview at Biofire. It sounds like the perfect challenge and opportunity for growth. Roseman University hours are up to 11 m through th. That could mean some degree of flexibility which I like.

15, 10 and 2 I haven't paid attention to my resources, contacts or face to face stuff like I should.
I want to give this program the attention it deserves but it is difficult when my mother's been supporting me as long as she has without me providing anything. She was complaining a lot tonight about me not just getting anything.

The City emailed me saying they are reopening the position and will still consider me for the position. I told them it would take me 45 days to have my record expunged because that's what Salt Lake Courts told me. Midvale finished MUCH faster than I expected much to my happy surprise. I can't help but wonder if the manager did that to accommodate my record clean-up time. That is very vain to think that but part of me actually thinks they want to give me the job but are held from that just because they want to take the 45 days it will take for my record to clear. 

I went to a job preview I was invited to by Wadell and Reed. Like I suspected they are a firm of brokers/financial planners which I DON'T want to do. I enjoyed the Keller Williams/William Bustos people I spoke to today. I was so scared this morning to attend the Ilead conference thing at the State library. I was so scared to talk to Donna Jones Morris but it went really well and then she even had me talk to the City library director since I told her I just interviewed for a Children's Librarian position there.

In my perfect world I'd get the Children's position AND also get enough money to work full time at Keller Williams/ William Bustos. Someone from SirsiDynix looked at my profile today.

I decided I need to talk to Donna Jones Morris. I want her to know how I just found out about my record. There is a library event she invited everyone to attend tomorrow at the state library. I am nervous about talking to her but I really want to work for the state someday.

I have an interview with Roseman University Tuesday. It is a phone interview. I don't want the job. Tomorrow I also have the interview with Wadell Reed to be a financial advisor. I don't really want to do that although there are worse ways to make money.

At least the Roseman position is a librarian job BUT after going through unemployment hell I want real estate because eventually I want enough money generated through that so I have income properties and I NEVER EVER want to worry about how I'm going to pay a bill again.

At least the criminal mischief is DONE!!! They called me and I went there and delivered a copy to the Midvale Police station. I hope that also means I get that Children's Librarian position I interviewed for last Thursday. I went to the ilead celebration at the City Library. I saw Trevor from library school. He told me I look the same. He reminded me that was 7 years ago. I'm trying to forget that. It was very sweet of him. I also saw Sean, the other Cache Valley Library Association peeps, Tina from the county and then also Trish from the County. I saw Wanda but I didn't say hi to her. Trish is as sweet as she always is and I was able to tell her and a couple other people how I just found out about my record.

I am glad I went. I didn't say hi to Wanda just because I feel like she talks about me even if she doesn't. I didn't engage the state librarian either Donna Jones Morris. I saw Sarah who interviewed me at LDS Business College. I was nice to her. She was uncomfortable. She's the one who didn't hire me. Give me a damn break!!!

CareerBuilder is such that I'm getting contacted by people all over the place. I want to do real estate BUUUT there is another interview I decided to do with some guy who advises people financially. He suggests I can make over $200,000 a year which is very attractive to me. I feel like being in AJS has opened the employment doors wide. I am very grateful for that.

I did a practice interview with Elder Gilchrist. He is notorious at our professional networking meeting. He gave me incredible suggestions I'm going to try to incorporate before my next round of interviews. I am hungry and I'm going home.

I had a lot of fun last night. Steve looked great as one of the incredibles. I couldn't pass up that opportunity. I had to post on his page that he was incredible last night. I forgot to get a picture with him. The DJ was great in the beginning then he progressively got worse. Steve is so sweet. The more I get to know him however the more I realize how little we share in common. He told me he likes ballroom and country music. I love ballroom but hell to the no on country music.

It was nice to see Cameron last night too. He also doesn't share my music tastes. Lusi went for a little while too. I also saw girls from my Tongan YSA ward. Daisey Brown and Shari Malekamu. They are in Parley's ward. Interesting. I also saw Benson my pharmacist friend I thought was a surgeon. I didn't recognize Cara until she left my side.

I was thinking how great it was that I could attend a party and then make it to my temple shift. It was tough but alright. UNTIL I went to help a couple guys with sealings. I stood in for the proxy wives. I did a set of names with each and then was working on the second set with the first guy. Kneeling at the altar means my knees are locked and during the third name it felt like I was going to faint. I saw TV snow and I kept thinking I might not make it through this ordinance. They all stopped and tried to help me. I just apologized and refused their assistance until I tried to walk to the elevator but swerved instead. The older temple sealer rushed to my side and I made it downstairs where I got chocolate and water.

I felt weak for the rest of the shift but alright for the most part.

I am tempted to go home and watch the Jane Austen Videos Schoshi lent me. I had to ask my mother for $10 for the dance tonight. I have a Bride of Darkness costume. I intend to have fun tonight. I need this break. It'll be a long day tomorrow in the temple but that's alright. I want to set up an appointment with Stacey and William Bustos asap. I was hoping today but then maybe not.

I have the Roseman University interview coming up as well as the Financial Advisor one with Walden Reed. I don't want to work in another academic library again. I know I'm too picky for someone without a job but I want to try real estate full time for at least a year. It is the one thing I think I really know right now.

My interview was alright. The story portion was good and most of my questions were alright. I nailed the last question which was why should they hire me. I told them they should hire me because I have Moxy, that I dared to do what most won't and that I don't just want excellence I want flair, style, grace and finesse all the time.

I know they loved my last answer. I would love to work with them. Such a fun group although only time will tell. I made sure to tell them about my not-guilty verdict because I don't want that holding me back either. I tried to contact William Bustos again but I kept confronting barriers that I don't like.

I am going to get in touch with Stacy Staheli and see if I can set up an appointment with her. She is with Coldwell Banker. I want this part time librarian job and then I want to work full time with a real estate agent.

I parked at Harmons and took Trax here. I just don't want to pay for parking here at the library and I'll just go right back to Harmons. AJS was perfect this morning. I don't feel like I need to see Family Services. They were tripping over my entitlement moment. It is hard for me to realize Heavenly Father let me flounder. I feel like I'm trying so hard and he doesn't care. I know that's not true and he is helping me repeatedly along the way. It is just hard to see that sometimes.

My testimony is solid. I just have to trust my Father in Heaven and his plan for me. This morning Alexis talked about how we need to be flexible to allow our lives to be led by the Holy Ghost. Sooo true. I am excited about this children's librarian position. I will love doing this AND I don't want it full time because I do want to pursue Real Estate asap. Some company emailed me about interviewing with them for a financial analyst REALLY a stockbroker like Etrade. I am taking the interview BUUUT I know Heavenly Father helped me do this and helped me get my Real Estate license. I have no doubt of that and I want to give it the devotion it deserves. I don't want to have to learn an entirely different industry or get something in something I'm not passionate about.

Time for me to run over a few things before it really is time.

Looong day. AJS was fantastic. Today Sister Allen talked to us about branding. She wanted us to rewrite our Me-in-30 to include our branding. It made me think about and revisit Moxy although I didn't really develop it until a few minutes ago. I'm so glad I figured out Harmon's and their net. They are open until 11pm and I am here thinking about questions I'll probably be asked at my interview tomorrow.

Since it is a children's librarian position she specifically asked me to prepare a rhyme, story to read aloud and craft appropriate to children 3-5. I immediately thought about head shoulders knees and toes. THANK YOU primary!!! I thought of Q-tips for a skeleton craft and then some sort of book with body parts. I wanted everything to go together.

I'm not an idiot. When I first began as a substitute librarian they had me train with Lori Hershel an amazing Children's Librarian. She the quintessential children's librarian. When she talks she sounds like she's speaking to a child. ALL THE TIME. She's been doing this for over 20 years. I wanted a book recommendation from her. Instead she gave me an incredible story and a craft that goes with it EXACTLY. PLUS she gave me the state's early literacy goals that children's librarians try to incorporate in all they do. Children are best prepared before entering school when through talking, playing, reading, writing and singing.

This is an essential piece I hadn't considered that I feel will make a significant difference in my interview tomorrow. The craft is a monster that is featured in the story. It goes over the monster's body parts like its purple hair, red mouth with white sharp teeth, yellow eyes, green wiggly ears and green face. It then takes each part away. It is perfect and I am sooo fortunate. She lent me her special book she uses for story time. I am taking it back right away as in as soon as I'm done with my interview. Everything she let me use is perfection for this interview. I'm sooo happy she gave me the early literacy piece. It was the furtherest thing from my mind.

I received an interview invitation from this financial company Waddell and Reed. I will attend the information portion but it reminds me of the insurance interview I first went on with those insurance men from Christy's stake. It is a good field but I'm not excited about it and I don't want to work for another license without doing real estate which is what I really want to do. I would be happy doing real estate full time along with this part time librarian position. William Bustos sounds incredible and it is with whom I want to rock this. He has a Keller Williams franchise in Midvale and that is something I like very much too.

I REALLY want the City Library job. The Roseman College position... Not so much. I need to explore more about William Bustos. I am more attracted to Real Estate.

I drove to Providence today and the judge doesn't go there until Monday from 4-6pm. I did manage to contact the city prosecutor who unlike the Secured Salt Lake City prosecutor who has people working specifically for him conducting business or one of 2 full time city prosecutors in Midvale, the Providence prosecutor is an attorney at a nice office in Logan. I haven't been to an office that nice AND I've been to the City Manager's office at the Cache County building. My mother was so ticked with me. She'll get over it.

This morning I freaked out and broke down. Elder Commarel asked me how it went with Jet.com and I remembered how I spent all that time looking the recruiter up, wrote a tailored cover letter, applied online PLUS called the recruiter with NO RESPONSE!!! It is just like my Spherion application. I know my record may be to blame, BUT WHAT THE HEO!!! I just couldn't take it anymore. I started to ask myself what I did anyway. Why did Heavenly Father allow this to happen.

We have temple sealings tonight. I just can't go. I need to go home which I'm doing in a minute.

Armed with my certificates allowing me to petition each court, I have 4 - 2 for Salt Lake City, the Midvale one and one from the Providence court. REALLY??? Sooo yesterday I printed probably 80 pages and spent the bulk of my day filling paperwork out. I thought I was done BUUUT when I delivered the papers to the Salt Lake Courthouse they quickly had me fill out additional papers I hadn't filled out. PLUS let me go to another building to deliver it to the deputy prosecutor's office. They told me it would take 40 days and to call when I was done. I am clearing the traffic stuff too because they sent the certificates to me although each is supposed to cost 56.00. I just paid for the criminal mischief charge to be expunged and I was going to do the rest later but since they sent me traffic stuff I'm taking care of everything.

I went to the Midvale justice court too which is in a new building. They were not as helpful as the Salt Lake ladies were and I spent a bunch of time filling out additional paperwork. I only have the Providence one left and I was going to mail it but instead I will do this in person because they may have their own additional requirements. I haaate having to drive there but I will because I don't have a choice tomorrow after AJS and after I meet with whoever I have to meet with.

I couldn't find my invitation but I remembered her saying something about it being at her house so I drove to her house in West Valley. No one was there so next I called my RS president to see if she had the address. Instead she said she'd pick me up and drive me there. It was held as some church in South Jordan. I helped serve cheesecake as soon as I got there. Valerie looked beautiful. John looked nice too.

They get married today in some temple. I am so happy for them. I'm glad I got to know both of them. I received a personality-type test from William Bustos to return to them as part of the application process. There are no new librarian opportunities in Salt Lake City since yesterday. I need to prepare for my City library interview. It includes reading an age-appropriate book for a 3-5 year old. Time for me to search for one and prepare for this.

I keep thinking about head shoulders knees and toes for the rhyme they want. I don't like this schedule although I did agree to adhere to it if need be. I am not focusing on meeting my AJS goals which I need to do to truly show I am participating as I should in the program. I am targeting real estate agencies now because I don't know how long it is going to take for them to even give me permission to begin clearing my record the way I want to do that.

William Bustos is the #1 agent in the state and he has been so for many years. Learning from him would be a treat. I had no idea. I just looked him up.

I really love the AJS program because it motivates me to continue to apply for and try to get a job. Now that I know about my background I am trying to take care of it. I have just submitted the permission to get charges expunged through going to the BCI or Utah's Bureau of Criminal Identification office in Taylorsville. I felt like a criminal when they took my fingerprints there.

This is just part of it. I know that. It is still hard despite that. There are 3 engineers in my group. One of the girls is a biomedical engineer. She is so impressive. She is the reigning Miss Utah International. She was making a little over 40,000 with just a BS. The chemical engineer is attending a recruiting dinner hosted by ATK tonight in Layton. His interview is tomorrow. He was laid off from Haliburton because they ran out of work for him to do. He is interested in working more in aerospace engineering. I'm sure he is going to make a bunch of money too.

There is another chemical engineer that also got an MBA and has been working in finance. He is married to a new attorney who is doing her internship at the Smithsonian in DC. Amy is a marketing person and single mother. She seems very comfortable in interview sessions and is excellent at her Me-In-30-Seconds pitch. The longer I am in the program however, the less impressed I am with her.

I'm helping serve cheese-cake at John and Valerie's reception tonight at her house. He is a realtor and has helped to inspire me to really explore the real estate interest I have. I applied to 2 real estate positions along with an associate librarian position so far today. I know the missionaries want me not to wait and to just apply for out-of-state positions but I know I wouldn't have been woken up at 3am if my record wasn't an issue. It is so frustrating. I can't make them move faster then how freakin long they're taking.

I am using this time to explore real estate because that is one industry that cares only about making money and not on what might be on your record. I have to pray carefully to know when is appropriate to mention to a potential employer that I have a misdemeanor charge BUT NOT conviction on my record. Who knew I'd ever have to deal with something like this? I can make several face-to-face contacts at Valerie's wedding tonight.

I found this amazing recipe last year and it uses the spices Mele taught me how to use - cumin, coriander, turmeric, cinnamon - a big onion, 6 cloves of garlic AND cilantro plus cauliflower, carrots, celery, a big chopped russet potato, heavy cream, chicken broth, lime juice, chickpeas, tomatoes, pumpkin of course - nice middle eastern seasoning. Sooo after buying ALL the ingredients it came to $35.00 and NOT the $20 I had planned on. I always like to add raisins and cashews too. I made 2 big pots of soup planning for 40 people. I have a bunch left over which is fine for me because I like it.

I made 2 pots of soup at the same time and it took over an hour to chop and cook everything. I was exhausted but very happy there was a huge turnout and everyone helped serve and clean up. I was sooo glad when it was over but then that's always how I am. Some people REALLLLY liked it which made me happy but I was expecting more people to be completely converted to it. I met a Fijian missionary. She is almost done as in she has about 4 months left.

This morning I was feeling crappy because after researching Shamus the recruiter for jet.com the E-commerce place that sounds incredible, AND applying online AND trying to get ahold of him on the phone. I've heard absolutely nothing. ALSO I contacted Rodney Moser who is with Century 21 and he didn't respond at all. John told me to be persistent but it feels rather like I am being a pest.

I FINALLY, YES FINALLY received an interview for an associate children's librarian position. It means I'll have to attend the Fort Union ward for the rest of the year since it meets at 9am and switch my temple shift AGAIN if I end up getting the job. We'll just have to wait and see. I also applied for a corporate librarian position at a place at research park near the U. They manufacture products to help diagnose medical ailments more accurately. These are machines that can scan a patient. I would enjoy working there. It is very cutting-edge and for medical devices, research that matters and makes a difference almost immediately.

I also applied for an internal communications position at the city library. It is a full time position and if they are trying to get me working somewhere else so they don't have to interview me for it I will be ticked. There is another associate librarian position posted on the City Library site this time for the Sweet Library. It is the only library I've never been to before in the City system. I want to work somewhere at the City Library so I can even be considered for the Marmalade management position there when it opens in January.

So the main speaker said Heavenly Father wants to speak to us all the time but we just need to listen. He had us close our eyes then he told us there is someone we need to talk to and something we need to say. I got NOTHING!!! Next he told us there's something Heavenly father wants us to do right now. I got workout but I've been thinking about that for awhile.

I asked Jason if he got anything and he didn't. He said he was sitting by Spencer who told him you can't do that. If we paid attention to the spirit more would we feel that way? This guy used to be a mission president. What he said however doesn't ring true to me the way what Spencer and Jason said did.

Gillwicks spoke. I think that is their name. Steve was there. It was weird to see him again so soon after just seeing him. Uai Panisi is the new Elders quorum president. I finally said hi to him nicely. A Tongan Elders quorum president, what are the chances? I talked to Jason a little bit and while I saw Steve I wanted to give him his space.

My mother is already starting on me. She wants me to take a crappy job. My new plan is to take anything and have my real estate stuff established then work my ass off. I never want to be broke like I am now. I want no debt and a healthy savings account. I want my name cleared of any background crap too. I'm also going to clear my traffic stuff BUUUT first things first. I want a healthy savings account before I even consider moving to California.

My mother drives me as crazy as I know i drive her. I thanked Steve for his birthday invitation and told him it was important for me to make it to at least part of it. I told him I didn't know if he could still be my friend and that I only regretted anything I did if it made me lose a friend. Why can't ALL men be as cool as Steve. I'm glad he had a huge turnout and I hope he had the best birthday. He made keeping him as my friend easy. I didn't feel strange at all seeing him or talking to him yesterday AND I'm fine just being his friend. I will truly be happy for him if he finds and marries someone. This is how it always should be.

Life is a trip. Yesterday I went to Taylorsville to get fingerprinted and apply for permission to get my record expunged. It was done at the office of criminal identification. I went and ate at in and out. I paid a lot to eat at the habit in sugarhouse and it was delicious. In and out quality however is just as good at a fraction of the price. I bought a set of 4 mugs for Rachel and Renees birthday party which they liked and was well attended. I talked to a few people but really there wasn't anyone I wanted to talk to. 

Tonight I went to the beginning of Steve's birthday. Like I expected there were A LOT of women there. I enjoyed meeting his friends who were all nice. They were all going to see a movie. I just wanted to see Steve and wish him a Happy Birthday. I gave him this small decorative tic tac toe set I had picked up once from T J Maxx. I'm pretty sure he looked liked it. I love his commitment to the gospel but it is so obvious we don't share many interests. That is something I like about him however. I like having a friend who actually owns hiking pants. He still looks good.  I am glad to have him as a friend. I wanted more at one time. It was important for me to attend his party because I want to keep him as a friend.

The first thing I need to do is go to the Utah Bureau of Criminal Identification place in Taylorsville so I can get a certificate of Eligibility so I can even petition the court to begin the expungment process. That is going to take $50. That is in addition to the other 167.00. It is good for 90 days from when it is issued. I feel sick about this. I have to now print out this stuff from the legal aid lady I spoke with. I can't believe she emailed me the cases. It was so easy for her.

Within 90 days after that I can get the other stuff. My mother said she doesn't have any property taxes until next year so she can afford to help me with those damn fees. She is sooo annoying me. She had a dream about twins and she asked me if any of my cousins have twins. She said it's probably me and I told her yes I'll probably have to go on hormone therapy to get pregnant and that people who undergo fertility treatment often have multiple births. She was so ticked when I told her that. She said I don't care about getting married and that I don't have faith because I still have my period. It doesn't help that I told her I'd look into getting my eggs freezed but I've heard it costs a lot. That just makes her more mad.

She told me she told me to check on that a long time ago. It did seem like I'd get hired many times but then at the last minute something would happen. I didn't want to assume something that outlandish. She is keeping that I told you so on a loop that is getting the hell on my nerves.

Davis county sent me a letter saying I am number 10 on their register but they are considering the first 5 after which I will be contacted if they need to consider more. I haven't heard from SLCC at all about the assistant director position that I REALLY want but ALSO I am more than ready to make a whole hell of a lot more in California too.

First I'm doing everything I can on my expungment then I am going to apply all over California. I always imagined myself living there. The East Coast is very cool but also very scary to me too because I don't have anyone there although I shouldn't really be worried about it since I have church family all over the world.

I am still reeling from realizing I've had this on my record about 9 years without really thinking about it. I know my Father in Heaven has all power to do everything. He can certainly help me find employment. I keep wondering how my Iife was changed because of that. Is this why I didn't get so many jobs I applied for in the beginning? Why did this happen? How would my life have been different? Why now? Why did I have to go to Logan? While I made use of my time there I could've done that anywhere.

I worked on power statements for most of last night. I'm trying to find a positive spin on this and I can't find one no matter how I try. I looked at this closer and I was charged with shoplifting. How is damaging foundation, breaking the seal and using the product shoplifting? How is it a crime? I didn't do it but should I have lied and said I did to avoid all of this? I was too mad to think straight. I was so happy when the judge sided with me and found me not guilty BUUUT this is still on my record and any state or county jobs, which is what the hell I want to do, are going to use this against me. This happened in June of 2006. I was in Customer Service at Overstock.com. They'd have no reason to check my background since they probably did earlier when nothing was wrong with it.

My next job was with the County as a substitute Librarian. My former reference teacher Cheryl Mansen was the manager at the Sandy Library. Substitutes are not merit positions. They would not have had to run a background check. I interviewed at MANY places throughout the state. I even applied for a Bookmobile librarian in Summit County. I NEVER would've taken the job at Stevens-Henager College in Logan if I hadn't been rejected for a merit position with the County, AGAIN!!!

I can't believe Heavenly Father allowed me to go this long without figuring this out. I was George's sister so they probably didn't even bother to run a background check plus Sharla was desperate for a librarian. It was my first position so I didn't ask for what someone with experience would have. I know Heavenly Father knows the end from the beginning, I know he has his reasons but I just sit here instead thinking this sucks. I drove to Harmons so I can drink my huge drink, feel sorry for myself and cry without anyone I know coming over and trying to talk to me.

It is going to take $167 to clear this from my record. I was arrested for shoplifting. It doesn't matter what really happened or even that the judge found me not guilty. There is no way to change that because it happened. I wouldn't have done anything different but why did I still have to go through this? It doesn't help that I'm Polynesian. People are still going to assume the worst. I remember when I told Steve I served near where he grew up in California. He had to clarify and he couldn't believe I served a mission.

I feel like I just keep trying but it doesn't matter and I'm like a damn rat running on one of those wheels. I don't feel like trying although I have to do that. I love this gospel and I am so grateful I woke up at 3am Wednesday morning thinking I need to check this. BUUUT why the hell NOW??? Everything I've read online tells me I could've had this expunged from my record 30 days after it happened IN 2006!!! Sooo I could've had that taken care of a long time ago and I'd be working making lots of money somewhere as a librarian manager. Why did this happen? I just wrote my bishop a looong message relating what occurred.

I have a misdemeanor but it is not guilty. I was charged with one but not convicted. It hasn't made a liar out of me with all my applications but people with misdemeanors were usually convicted. I am an odd weird case and people have to pay attention or they'll assume I was convicted because people who weren't usually don't have anything on their record period. Since it is more than 7 years old I can have it expunged from my record... So I have a record but not one that should matter. A group of attorneys meet at Welfare Square especially to go over how to do that.

I'm grateful for that insight although it shouldn't affect me if people pay attention the way they should. They probably never see someone with a not guilty misdemeanor. Yes I
was just one of the lucky ones.

About to get ready for another long day at the employment services. Yesterday I felt so blessed for the church's employment services. I am grateful for the opportunity to improve myself and my communication skills. I was all psyched to find a real estate assistant job. I was formulating plans in my head and that is what I fell asleep to after the temple. At 3 in the morning I wake to rethinking my first librarian interview I had with the state. At the end of our interview she said she'd talk to me soon. She never called back. Next I was certain uta would hire me for their part time customer service position that paid 20.00 an hour. Next was LDS Business Colleges adjunct teaching interview that ended with them telling me I was adorable. The church history library asked me to stay so she could show me the part of the building where they met with patrons. 8 interviews with the County and nothing? Broadview university when they gave me their business card and said they'd be in touch. The writing test I took with the priesthood committee. The editing test, I even applied for the church's call center.

Why does the spirit always deprive my sleep? Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean people aren't chasing you. I feel stupid even inquiring but I have to find out.

Two hours away doesn't seem quick enough. I'm heating pizza now and I took out my retainer. I'm tired but my mind is wound up and I can't relax until this is done. How am I going to recover from this?

I just shared Holland's quote on Facebook that expecting nothing will happen to you because you are a good person is like thinking the bull won't charge you because you're a vegetarian.

I freaking can't sleep a and it's after 5 now.

If it did that is... Did heavenly father really allow this to happen to me if it did in fact occur?

Being unjustly accused or really failing Every interview I've had for over a year? I don't think I'm grasping at straws but even if I am I'm finding out as soon as possible. I sure hope to hell this is what happened and I hope it can be cleared up asap.

I REALLY hope to hell this is what has been keeping me from getting EVERY job I've applied for for over a year. When I was in library school the night before one of my trips I went to Smith's to buy groceries among other things. A security officer said he saw me open a foundation bottle and test some on my hand. I got mad at him because I didn't do that and I swore at him. He said he didn't want to make a big deal out of it and if I just paid for it he would let it go. I was furious and told him there was no way in hell I was going to pay for something I didn't touch. A police officer came and made a report and the security guard actually had the officer search me by patting me down. I asked the security guard several times if he saw me use the foundation. I also asked him if he saw foundation on my hands. He never answered there in the store and instead ignored my question. I ended up appearing in court where the security guard lied and said he saw me use the foundation. I maintained my innocence and the judge sided with me. In Hawaii or on Oahu rather the entire island is one county, Honolulu. My license was suspended for unpaid parking tickets in Salt Lake County mainly thanks to the U,s parking Nazis. When I went to court in Midvale initially while they read the charges for the Smiths incident they also charged me with driving without insurance. I admitted guilty to that but I didn't have 900 in cash. I spent 6 hours in jail and I had taken my lunch hour off to go to court for what I thought might make me a 1/2 hour to an hour late. I also missed my flight to Oregon for the second part of my class weekend. I ended up failing the class and had to take it again. My bishop had to bail me out of jail. It was horrific. Some lady put her finger up my vagina to see if I had drugs there as part of the search they conduct. I kept requesting contact solution to take  My contacts out but they ignored me. I peeded earlier in the initial holding cell but later when I was placed vCard education in the holding cell with 3 other woman and visible cells to all the guards I needed to per but I couldn't bring myself to strip in front of everyone to do that. I had to take my garments off and wear underwear they gave me. I suppose Heavenly Father was watching me even in there because I was so upset when I was told to strip in front of a male guard before I took a shower he told me to wait and a female guard made me lift each boob so she could visually make sure I didn't have anything under each one. This was while I was in the shower so the guard was outside. My bishop was a relative and he used his own money which came to over a thousand. Luckily I had just received my school aid money so I could pay him back immediately and pay the court for my unpaid ticket which generated a warrant and caused me to go to jail in the first place. I try to never think of the most humiliating experience of my life but if I was supposed to answer yes all this time for being convicted of something EVEN if I was absolved of everything later it will explain a whole hell of a lot. I don't think I would have received every job I applied for but LDS Business College told me I was adorable at my teaching demonstration and I felt I got the uta job I applied for also the church history library. Am I up at 3 in the morning recuse of this or have I just not been hired with EVERY job so far? I will definitely find out today. Is Heavenly Father helping me today? I REALLY hope he is.

I went to Fhe. Yea me!!! There are some new people in my ward I don't know. It was nice to interact with different people. I need to think of reasons why people should hire me even if I am an unemployed librarian. I am going to begin to visit art galleries, law firms and businesses that may have libraries. Also media outlets could be productive. I also need to identify top producing reactors and introduce myself and tell them how I can add value to their business. I know there's a legislative library too there. I also want to think about how I personally can add value to a library and then I need to start marketing that. The mls is the lowest paid master degree. Physicians assistant is the highest paid master followed by The mba and engineering. I haven't thought enough about my abilities and why someone should hire me.

I really enjoyed when I had to complete John's cards AND get Cameron's piece ready for Sandy's art show. I was dashing all over the place and barely finished everything on time but it is when I thrive. I can sooo work the Real Estate thing and the little I did which was barely anything for John convinced me I want to do real estate for sure. Finding an assistant position is going to be the trick. I hope I can get everything done.

I also need to work on preparing the food for our upcoming relief society combined activity. I decided on pumpkin curry soup. I looked at the recipe last night and realized it is going to take more energy than I first realized. I need to find out about styrofoam bowls. I think Harmons has the best small size. I wonder if they'd sell me some. If we get rolls we should probably get butter too although if we get crackers we don't need to worry about that.

There are cream puffs and I was hoping they had the small individual cheesecake bites Sam's Club does but I didn't see any. Maybe one of our members has a Sam's Club membership. I need to send an email today.

I went to my insurance customer service interview and I didn't like it because they talked about getting licensed and/or certified. REALLY???!!! I don't want to work in another field. I don't want to have to learn a whole new set of skills. I am joining the workshop for people looking for employment tomorrow and Wednesday. I am feeling like crap again. The busyness must have made me feel better but I can't live off of air. I need money and California is looking better and better.

Posts go? Weird. President Russell Nelsons talk was Sooo good. It reaffirmed women are much more than simpering idiots. I loved it. It was such an empowering women's talk. It recognized women as important contributors and leaders in the gospel. I love this church so much. I asked my mother Friday what she thought of Cams picture but I was surprised when she was offended by it. It is of a dictator. It is amazing to me. He has chronicled his spiritual journey in his pieces. I was able to see some of his portraits and they are beautiful. Yesterday when I was at the Sandy library I was looking over the stuff for the contemporary art museum. What I didn't like was picture from their last fundraiser.  Everything was dark and amoral. Contemporary art to me has to be much more than what I saw pictured. Everything was intentionally shocking and irreverent. Art can certainly be that but it isn't ONLY what it is I think in Salt Lake city's desire NOT to be influenced by the sublime beauty of the simplicity of the dominant church they have gone so far they've teetered off the edge.

How doesn't anyone see or get that. I love surrealist art and I know there is a segment that will love his stuff for to me are all the wrong reasons. He is in spiritual crisis but the liberal art community is not something that would help him. If anything it would hurt him.

Yesterday I met Cameron at his apartment to look through his paintings. He is super-talented. More so than I first supposed. I love the thought of promoting his art. It is weird. I like him but I don't have the least bit of interest in dating him. I like his surrealist stuff but I'm thinking for him to make money in this market he's going to have to do stuff to appeal to LDS members. He's already done a commissioned painting for a friend of her with the Savior. Another painting he did of some guys friends is incredible. He stopped working on it when the guy told him he wasn't going to pay him.

His apartment was extremely messy but had a really nice desk, computer and TV. It is a studio but has a lot of space for that. It wasn't as bad as Mark's apartment. Not ALL guys are messy. This one definitely IS. His stuff is largely composed of his own spiritual journey and the forces that compete for his attention.

I found a frame at DI for $2 so I could submit one of his pieces to the Sandy art exhibition/contest thing. I had to buy wire, wire cutters and put the hooks on and then the wire thing. It turned out really nice. I also asked Cameron if I can use him as one of John's contacts. I'm FINALLY done with his cards.

Conference seemed to be aimed at me.

Today our message was on Conference and how it is where we can receive guidance and direction. I love conference. I was reminded of that conference I attended with students from Stevens-Henager College to hear some incredible speakers. What struck me the most is people pay so much money for the kind of talks I get to be exposed to every six months with incredible servants of God who specifically give me messages to strengthen my life. As we reviewed the guidance we've received through this I silently chastened myself for not remembering how much my father in heaven loves me. I've felt forsaken and haven't even wanted to consider possibilities that abound.

I am so grateful for this program. Today we listened to a presentation from someone who went through the AJS journey. I forgot his name but he was a disgruntled attorney who wanted something else. The program helped him do what he really wanted to do which was begin a non-profit for kids suffering from cancer. He wrote a heroes book featuring children who battled cancer and has been on the view to discuss his organization. He was also on local news stations for the same thing.

He said he is happy and in his dream job. How many people can say that and mean it? Not me. Of course any job would be an improvement for me. I have an interview for a part time customer service position with an insurance company. The owner is LDS employment services assistant director's stake president and she told me to feel free to use her name. She said she felt resistance when people suggested the University of Utah and Canyons school district to me - YES I don't want to be an academic librarian. I also applied for the assistant director job at Salt Lake Community College.

I saw the Sandy art contest at the library and then I spoke to the Director of the Saratoga Springs library. I am excited to be its volunteer Event Specialist. She wants to hold art classes for kids. I FINALLY talked to Cameron today. We are meeting tomorrow because he needs to choose a piece for the Sandy library art show. I love art and marketing it. I should've been an art history major. It just never seemed good for anything. I want to explore my art museum aspect of my degree. I did several major projects on art anyway. He is going to try teaching an art class for me too at the Saratoga Springs Library.

I feel more energized and excited about possibilities now. I need to hone and practice my power statements as well as add another one. That's the one thing this experience has given me thus far. I am FINALLY done with the mortgage cards Johnathan gave me to complete and mail. I still need to gather addresses names and telephone numbers of 7 more people for Jonathan and invite them to this customer appreciation Halloween-type activity.

The insurance position I interview for Monday sounds marvelous AND it is part time. It pays enough for me to pay these real estate fees and hurry and develop that. I love that I found the Saratoga Springs library. The insurance position is part time to start and it is time for me to explore other areas. I haven't even applied in California yet. I reread Oaks' Good, Better, Best talk. Sister Peterson killed me with the spirit yesterday.

I am really grateful for the Accelerated Job Search program at Sugarhouse. I can't believe how beneficial it is and I wanted to do the program a year ago at Welfare Square. When I expressed my desire then the director advised me not to do it. Their clientele is veeery different. At Welfare square the other people in the job workshop included a homeless woman, a woman returning to work after years of being at home and some guy who also did some other menial-type job before that.

This group is much better. One of the women is trained in speech pathology, another woman has her bachelor degree in social work. One of the men finished his MBA from the U. This single mom is seeking a marketing job. She is incredible with her me-in-30-seconds and simply sharing and telling about herself.

Saratoga Springs Library is looking for someone to be a volunteer event specialist. She coordinates many different volunteers and I called and will dazzle them with this. It is a fun opportunity that doesn't require a whole lot and I am looking forward to doing that asap. I am at the Sandy Library now. There is a job fair at the LDS employment services I am going to attend to increase my contact numbers.

My temple day. I am out of contact solution. I hate my glasses but I always get compliments when I wear them. My coordinator went on about how beautiful I am. She is so funny she called me the temple model. Another girl in initiatory told me I was very pretty. The last time I wore glasses one of the younger ordinance workers told me I was gorgeous. I need those comments when I have to wear my glasses because I feel like I look like a dog.

My next series this time is from Showtime. My young white Adonis friend with the golden curls copied the first 2 seasons for me before I left to work in Logan. He is such a sweetheart. His name is Dave Moon and I credit him with making me even consider someone white. Younger white men are more into ethnic looking make up wearing women. The mousey white men come out of the woodwork to flirt with me when I wear my glasses and no makeup but that isn't who I am at all. My mother is on one of her trips right now. She is mad at me because I told her I wanted a Mercedes. She wants me to just work anywhere. I told her I am not going to just get a job someone will just fire me from. She doesn't care. She blames me because I didn't shut up at my last job. I told her I'm not going to lie. She is angry at me for not having money. I get that. I have never tried so hard in my life before to get a job before. The last thing I need is my mother yelling at me. I found out my surgeon friend is actually a pharmacist. He is a sweet gentleman and I think he's an ordinance worker too. Why don't I got there? Actually although I don't want to wait to develop a relationship with someone I don't want to force it either and I do want a job at least. I saw Sina at the library and I told her I don't have a job. She actually asked me if I didn't want to work. Nigga please. I don't want to apply for where my mother's visiting teacher works Nooo because they'll probably just fire me. I am going to work the LDS employment program and substitute teach to bring in quick cash. I hope my check comes today.

It occurred to me yesterday that I was waiting to get a job before working at the temple. I don't want to try to get to know anyone better either but that is stupid when it is supposed to be the most important thing in my life. I feel like I've been psychotic for a little over a year. There is no way in hell I will consider anyone unemployed but I expect them to consider me but since I don't intend to be the breadwinner anyway it shouldn't matter as much. I want to freeze my eggs now. I wonder how much that costs. I wonder how the church feels about surrogate motherhood. All these things freak me out. I want to try myself but I wonder if getting a surrogate who is younger and healthier wouldn't be better. Actually I need to be at my healthiest so I am best prepared for that. While there are many things I can't do, there are many things I can.

My phone rang and I lost the big post I wrote on here. When you type on your phone which is tougher it disappears if you don't post it. This morning my mother gave me a chocolate recipe book. I had my interview with the accelerated job search advisors at LDS employment. I like that there specific things for you to do each day to actively look for employment.

Sinia wanted to take me to lunch at Kings Buffet in Taylorsville. I went but now I don't have money to put more gas in my car. I'm going to start as soon as I get that check. I hope that is tomorrow but it could be as late as early next week.

I finished the last season of True Blood.

I was waiting to get a job before I began working at the temple.

I am more comfortable moving here than DC. It is closer, has all the cultural things I like and it doesn't snow. I've always wanted to move to DC and my niece is serving there now. Coincidence? Perhaps not. Whatever it is or isn't I'm going to go to the library and apply for at least 3 jobs and print copies of my resume for my accelerated job search interview tomorrow with LDS employment.

There is a sister in my ward named Jessica who needs us to fast for her for help finding a job. Cara texted me to see if I wanted them to help fast for me too. I said of course I would appreciate that help. She needs to find one or she has to move. I'll have to move sort of too.There's an adjunct composition teacher position I'd love at Broadmoor university in West Jordan. Wait a second, I just realized I interviewed for a librarian position there. If I have to interview with the same lady I'm fine with that. 

I found public librarian jobs in California for 32 an hour Hawaii rates are about the same as Utah but with a substantially higher cost of living.

I served in Sacramento but I'm trying to decide between that and LA. DC is where I've wanted to live for a long time and it would be a completely new experience. There are so many libraries and museums there. I think I would like it there a lot.

Damn autocorrect. I was talking to this sweet girl Jenny yesterday at our Mingle. She's the one who suggested looking out of state. I do love California. As much as she drives me crazy I don't exactly want to leave my mother. She is such a packrat and I want to get rid of a lot of junk before she dies and I have twice as much to get rid of. Jenny told me the smores night was so dark she couldn't see her marshmallow roasting. I am too used to those Tongan dances I grew up with all the lights on. I've been to enough darkened dances in Hawaii and here to handle darkened dance floors but really I'd rather meet someone and get to know them better in the light. Jenny said she meet this guy from Bountiful 8th that had a PhD and told her he wanted someone with a master's degree. I want that too but I don't go around saying that. I asked her what his Doctorate was in and she told me sociology but that his social skills were seriously lacking. Cara told me Spencer was there. He was at our Mingle but I had no desire to talk to him at all. So much for being interested in anyone. California is very attractive to me although I see my mother really struggle on her social security. I want to get a normal librarian job now so I can help her just with her basic living expenses. With me living here with her it hasn't been easy for her. Living without the internet has sucked so much for me and now that cable is just in her room it really sucks. That has led to my watching so many HBO series. I am watching True Blood now. I'm on the 5th season now. I started with the 3rd and I have the 6th and 7th checked out already too. There's a children's Librarian 18 hour opening with the city. One day it would be fabulous if they offered me a Damn interview.

I got to church just fine. Bishop filled out  recommendation paper for LDS employment services intense job searching program where they intensely searching each day together. It will be good to fine tune my skills although I still want a librarian job. I don't want to have to work in another field. This sweet girl suggested I widen my search and begin looking out of state. George said the same thing. It is definitely time. I haven't heard from East Millcreek but the time to search is now. I wanted to stay here for the social aspect but I can't have one if I can't make basic money to pay even the tiniest bills. I definitely need to make money and oily don't want to have to change my entire career. Salt Lake is a great library state even if no one wants to consider me. Maybe I have to leave to find my husband. Maybe that's why this entire year has been hell. California is calling me. I can Sooo live without the snow.