Urban Poly Princess

I thought a lot about what my problem is and why I kept holding on. I don't think I ever really believed my friend wasn't into me EVEN when he told me several times. The way he abruptly changed how he acted with me in the beginning was just too weird AND later Cing him in different situations I just didn't believe him. That's a weird problem to have-yesterday I felt like he was a woodpecker that wouldn't give up until I told him I was finished. He was kind and I'm stupid because I still don't believe him completely I just was sooo sick of thinking about it and writing about it and I wanted him to just leave me alone that I finally told him I had enough BUT the truth is I had enough of him-I guess it's the same. I don't know why the hell he's doing this but really it doesn't matter and I don't know why I have such a difficult time believing this but I do and I'm only giving up because he wants me to do that.