Urban Poly Princess

What is wrong with me. The last time I ran to the bathroom was when I made a tuna fetuccine helper. It tasted good and I was pleased with myself for NOT eating out BUT then the weird tummy problems and literally running to the bathroom. The next time was just a few minutes ago. After the temple I ate some ham sandwiches, drank my flavored carbonated water and ate a couple of my sunbelt granola bars. I looove those things. They are so cheap and I like them better than candy bars. The are sold in boxes of 10 for 2.25 at Walmart. I have several coupons for .35 off 1. That makes it 1.90 a box or .19 each bar. They are sooo good. Later AFTER sleeping forever when I was hungry again today I ate a can of Progresso soup with a couple pieces of buttered toast. It was delicious HOWEVER I'm thinking that's what made me dash to the bathroom. I looove soup. WHY???!!! Is my body used to the fast food crap I used to feed it? The only thing that's really changed about my diet is I don't eat as much fast food. Digestive problems should be nil.

I want my couch but I need to get rid of my bills first. My goal is NOT to buy one until AFTER Christmas. I know I should also set a coupon-spending limit for myself. I think $100 a week is reasonable. Maybe it isn't. I want to get my bottles of ALL detergent. I don't need it but it is such a great stock-up price. I'm grateful I have so much food storage already. I need to pay for my Real Estate test next month. I should try to live on a lot less this month so I can pay for that without feeling anything. I'm going to allow myself to buy detergent and spend $30 on the Smith's sale next week IF I get my mileage reimbursement BUT NOTHING else. Alright nooo I'm going to allow myself to buy the detergent and MAYBE a few things BUT I'm limiting it to $30 INCLUDING the detergent.

I bought 12 knee highs from Walgreens. After my long temple shift my toes were sticking out all over the place. BAAAD quality. They work perfect for just doing a session or initiatories. I'm going to get some thicker knee highs just for working at the temple. There's this older lady who works in the temple with me she has dark hair in a longer bob and looks fantastic. She is exactly how I want to be - gorgeous STILL has style AND works in the temple. Her nails were done too a dark brown. I always feel strange with dark nail polish in the temple BUT her nails looked great AND they didn't detract from her modest BUT tasteful AND stylish temple outfit. I love her sweater. Finding white clothing isn't easy. Many things are cream but it is rare to find that bright winter white. I just learned that.

I would always get sales on temple clothes in Salt Lake City. Here there is Deseret Book combined with the distribution center to buy garments, dresses and ceremonial clothing. I have the same ceremonial clothing my mother bought me right before I was endowed for the first time before my mission.

I couldn't wait to enter the temple OR serve my mission. My stake president wouldn't let me enter UNTIL I received my call. I entered when I was 20. He tried to explain to me he would issue a recommend to single sisters before they turned 21 only AFTER they were either getting married in the temple or serving a mission. I turned 21 on September 23. When I submitted my papers I listed October 1st as my availability. Most of my friends were required to report maybe 3 months following this. Instead my MTC report date was October 2nd.

There's nothing I want to see bad enough on TV for me to sit on one of my uncomfortable chairs. Heavenly Father blesses me so much. I looove my MAC and I am so grateful for it. It provides me with ALL the entertainment I need from my bedroom or actually ANYWHERE in my apartment. I love how quiet my apartment is. You'd think a townhouse would be quieter but it wasn't. My complex just feels safer. I can't believe I got 9 of my 12-pack Cottonelle tp packs under my sink in my master bathroom. The remaining 3 fit just fine under the sink in my other bathroom. Blessings, blessings, blessings abound. It is too cold for all the kids to be playing outside. I looove that!!!

I can't wait to build my part time real estate business. There's also the Zumba thing I want to do on the side. Life is very good now. Opportunities abound. I know I need to get married and that should be the most important thing RIGHT NOW BUT I really do feel like I've done everything I can and I will continue to do that BUUUT my life isn't over if I don't get married in this life. I really want children and I know there is a richness to life that can be only found through a spouse and kids BUUUT if I have to wait for the next life it'll be alright. I was thinking about how we can still have children after this life and although I want that experience very much now, if it doesn't happen even this blessing will not be denied. I don't know what needs to happen and what I have to do and it is depressing when I think about it.

It feels like in that area I'm standing still and it is frustrating beyond belief BUT I still receive blessings I don't feel like I deserve despite that. I'm grateful to be in my singles ward now. Family wards always make the married women uncomfortable around me and then some of the married men make it uncomfortable for me too. The youth boys are the worst. I really feel why that's why I never ended up teaching seminary here. Younger boys always develop crushes on me and married men always enjoy my company. If I was married I wouldn't want my husband talking to any single woman either so I get it, BUT it isn't fair. I'm not going to purposely look like a dog however just to make someone feel comfortable.

There's this appropriate distance I always keep from my married friends and their families. I think that is good.