Urban Poly Princess

My mother is driving me crazy STILL. She said she was reading an Ensign article that would help me understand why this injury is my fault. I had been eating better than I ever have in my life when this happened. I was getting up at 4:30 M-F to attend Zumba to get physically good BECAUSE I am diabetic. This is a freak injury that can happen to ANYONE BUT SHE IS STILL LOOKING FOR REASONS WHY SOME STUPID MOVE OR DECISION ON MY PART MADE THIS HAPPEN.

When I broke my tibia at George's house she blames that on me wearing high heels. I keep trying to tell her this is a common injury people go through all the damn time but she just says she doesn't think Heavenly Father meant us to suffer like this. I cannot believe her stupidity. I told her she is evil and from Satan because she shouldn't be making me feel like crap. She is my mother who instead should be trying to make me feel better. She wants me to see a doctor to get an o.k. before I engage in Zumba again. I told her if she wants to pay for me to see a doctor for a waste of my time she can.

She seems to think there is something magical if I have to pay to attend Zumba. My instructors ARE CERTIFIED ZUMBA INSTRUCTORS. There is nothing magical about any other Zumba instructor. They receive the same damn training. My mother also gave me some stupid speech about how my body is a temple. YES I KNOW THAT AND I HAVE NEVER TREATED IT MORE LIKE ONE IN MY LIFE WHEN THIS HAPPENED TO ME.

I'm crying and upset because I don't know how the hell she turned out like this. I told her she is evil and from Satan and although I didn't tell her this she is a self-righteous bitch who wrests the scriptures. I'm unemployed she keeps saying BECAUSE I am doing something wrong too. I feel like Job.

Alright I know I'm nowhere near where he was and it is stupid of me to compare myself to him BUUUT I feel like I am trying in EVERY area of my life and this is when I get this random injury that my mother blames completely on me. It is the same with my car. I have had so many car repairs I've had to make that she blames on me. Sometimes this is partly my fault BUT sometimes things wear down and we just have to repair things.

Sometimes we face random challenges that have nothing to do with how righteous we are. I read my scriptures EVERY day. Sometimes I'm not as faithful with my prayers as I need to be BUT I ALWAYS TRY. She blames that on me too. I was trying to attend more MidSingles activities, I am TRYING to figure out who I should get to know better, who is good husband material. I KNOW I need to get married. I AM TRYING AND that is all we can do. I don't know why this happened but I certainly don't think it is something I was irresponsible about.

She is truly from Satan. I wish she would disappear. I still need her help which is the hardest thing in the world. I still need her to cook for me or get me ice. What the hell made her this way.