Urban Poly Princess

Today I did dinner with Jonny at Costa Vida. She has Celiac so she eats a gluten-free diet and Mexican restaurants have corn tortillas which she can eat.
It was nice then we went to the sidewalk sale and got rained out BUT she wanted to get some dresses and she didn't know what to get AND since I'm a total clothes horse I got excited to help her with that. We went to TJMaxx where we found 2 Calvin Klein dresses that look incredible on her. Together both were less than $100. She wants to get shoes too so we are shoe-shopping tomorrow!!! This is something I looove-I could be a stylist in my sleep. I know what looks good on people. I always have. Initially my dream was to be a buyer for Macy's or some other store in New York City. My first major at the Y was fashion merchandising. I REALLY wanted to go to FIDM or the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in New York City after I graduated from high school. I worked at the Sears women's department in Kaneohe the first summer after my freshman year at the Y. Once I learned how hard Buyers worked and that the work was more than just buying merchandise to sell-I was dissuaded. I could be a stylist BUT there's no work for that here in Cache Valley. So until then-I'll just have fun with Jonny.

Since I thought about Sonny today I did a Google search to see what he's up to now. His second marriage ended in a nasty divorce and vicious custody battle. He has one daughter with his second wife. She accused him of sexual abuse against their daughter. Sonny maintained his innocence throughout. He met and married his second wife in Las Vegas. She is an attorney. Sonny never finished graduate school at UNLV. The bitter court arguments led Sonny to leave to Tonga. He passed any lie detector test he was given. After a detailed article was published about what happened in 2008 he called the paper to answer the allegations. He insists he is innocent. As I looked at different articles I read a blog post by a friend of his ex-wife. One of the comments talks about how creepy everyone thought he was since he liked talking to 17-18-year-olds.

I was 17 when I met Sonny. He was 26. He was nothing but a perfect gentleman-HOWEVER-3 different times Sonny invited me and my other 18-year-old freshmen Poly friends to spend the night at his house. Twice were so we could go clubbing Saturday night and then attend conference the next day. I forget what the other time was for. I knew this wasn't good because I sure as hell didn't tell my parents about this. Sonny actually had other relatives spend the night from California. We had his room while his nephews and he took the couch in the living room. He was an RM-he never should've suggested this in the first place. YES, I was stupid. He never suggested the Saturday conference session to us. Unfortunately I really didn't care then. He and his other RM Poly friends picked me up one weekend in Provo where I was the only girl in the group and took me to see one of the only rated R movies I've ever seen-Child's Play featuring a demonic talking doll Chucky. I was too busy thinking about how great these "spiritual giants" were to question the movie choice. He also took me to watch he and his friends sing at a doctor's convention at some hotel in Park City. He has an incredible voice. He sang lead and dedicated a beautiful song to me before he and his boys sang it. It was sooo cool. He drove his friends back to Cedar City after this and I went along by myself. My friends had gone home to Hawaii for Thanksgiving. I didn't. I  remember feeling extremely uncomfortable when we got to his friend's apartment in Cedar City where I was the only girl. Sonny was extremely tired so he slept on the couch. I slept by myself in his friend's room. No one disturbed me but I kept thinking how I didn't like this-BUT-I still did it anyway.

He took me to Dennys in Provo on the way back and then dropped me off at my apartment. He always treated me like a Queen and he never pressured me with anything. He would buy me AND my friends meals. He left his car for us to use when he flew somewhere. During our freshman year none of us had cars-the next year we all did. We rode together though so 2 cars usually sat at home. We went on a road trip to Ricks College before it became BYU-Idaho. I had a blast. I did horribly my first year in school. My parents wanted me to go home. I didn't. There's a single line in my patriarchal blessing that tells me to listen to the counsel of my parents. I was having the time of my life BUT I went home because of that line.

My friends and Sonny and his friends continued to have fun with additional road trips to the Bay, Southern Utah, and Southern California-Meanwhile I was in Hawaii where I got a job with the Census Bureau and tried to get used to life with BYU-Hawaii students who didn't have money or cars to take me anywhere. I was sooo angry that I was missing out on all the fun. I wasn't dating Sonny but he still took me out, paid for everything AND had his own car. In Hawaii I was the one with the car since I lived with my parents. I went out with friends BUT AGAIN if we went anywhere either I or my cousin drove Bcause we had cars. Sonny and his friends spoiled me because I never paid for a thing when they were around and they still managed to take me out. I went to my first Greek restaurant with him and then he took my friends and his friends to this restaurant with good live music and dancing. Sonny also had some good-looking nephews who would visit. One of my friends started dating one.

I put Sonny on such a pedestal. If I stayed in Provo I would've gone on all those road trips and spiritually I wasn't strong enough to use that dream to avoid falling for him. I wanted to fall for him because I thought the world of him. It's only later when I developed my own testimony more that I can now look back and realize he wasn't as great as I thought. He still treated me like a queen and I'll always be grateful to him for showing me how I should be treated early on. I was too dumb to know he should've encouraged me and my friends to watch conference on Saturday, he NEVER should've invited me and my friends to sleep over at his house in Salt Lake City-I NEVER should've done that AND if he knew he had to drive his friends back to SUU he also NEVER should've invited me along. Yes I was stupid BUT I also trusted him completely.

When David told me it was good for him to have a roommate because it's better not to be alone with some girl if he's on a date I thought "Seriously, Are you for real?" I really thought that was ridiculous BUT now I REALLY like the contrast to what happened with Sonny. Sooo let's see-Sonny ALWAYS  treated me like a queen-David is alright usually BUT has certainly treated me like crap. HOWEVER Sunny fails spiritually and even today while David is on point spiritually.

I could've very easily married Sonny if I didn't return to Hawaii when I did. Would I have been divorced now? Reading the articles is scary. Sonny NEVER gave me any reason to think his marriage would be anything but amazing. I think you can make it with anyone. There are definitely some people that increase the odds of a satisfying marriage but I really think two good people who really want something to work can make it happen. That certainly doesn't mean I'm just going to marry anyone. What it does mean is that I will do everything to make my marriage succeed. I'm not getting married to get divorced.

Sunny is married again in Tonga and has a little boy with his 3rd wife. I hope he is happy and has an incredible life. I still think he's great, my vision is just sharper now that the rose-color has been washed away.