Urban Poly Princess

My happy time!!!

It is amazing how yesterday I felt in the depths of despair but I just kept plugging through, I read my scriptures and although I read a conference talk on faith in Jesus Christ the words didn't sink in at all. Feeling very crappy I just kept applying for different jobs online and tried to maintain faith and hope. It is the feeling there is no hope. I just thought somehow after working full-time as an academic librarian for 4 and a half years and then in public libraries as a substitute for 3 and a half that I'd be able to get a job quickly in public libraries which is what I want.

I don't want to work in academic but even if I did the only way I could work at the U is if I published in the field. The schools that aren't as stringent aren't the schools I don't want to work at like Utah State, Weber or even UVU. The U is close and not bad but really not what I want to do anyway.

Yesterday evening the possibility of working for SirsiDynix attracted me bigtime and is actually something I'd enjoy even more than public libraries. Money I'm certain is much nicer since it's public and I love that they do things world-wide. There is some lady over Asia AND the Pacific. I would looove to travel to New Zealnd and Australia to set up systems there. I would love, love, love to be part of an international organization.

It may not go anywhere but my resume lines up with it perfectly. Once I get that or any librarian job I am going to publish a blog and make sure people read it. Sirsidynix is in Lehi which is where 2 of my first cousins live with their families and also my friend Leialoha who is just awesome. She has the relationship with her husband I want with mine. She has had so many challenges she has handled like a total boss. I still plan to buy my condo downtown first BUUUT eventually raising my children in Lehi would be alright. A house in Lehi is alright. I would want it new there. ALTHOUGH I like Sugarhouse too.

That would be a job I could feel fantastic about. I still want that limited-hour temp job in Clearfield however. I need cash right away until that ideal job kicks in or maybe it'll happen there just as fast.

Therefore They Hushed Their Fears
"The disciplined endurance described in this verse is the result of spiritual understanding and vision, persistence, patience, and God's grace. Exercising faith in and on the holy name of Jesus Christ, meekly submitting to His will and timing in our lives, and humbly acknowledging His hand in all things yield the peaceable things of the kingdom of God that bring joy and eternal life (see D & C 42:61). Even as we encounter difficulties and face the uncertainties of the future, we can cheerfully persevere and live a 'peaceable life in all godliness and honesty' " (Timothy 2:2).

Unlike worldly fear that creates alarm and anxiety, godly fear is a source of peace, assurance, and confidence.

I love my testimony and I love this gospel that prevents me from spiraling and succumbing to hopelessness. I am grateful for opportunities that are plentiful and just there waiting for us to grab them. I was wondering why the hell I went to school if I was never going to get a damn job in the field but I know it is a matter of continuing to fight and continuing to try even and especially when that is certainly the last thing I want to do. Outside circumstances and trials shouldn't shake me the way they did yesterday. If we keep the light of the gospel in our hearts it doesn't matter ALTHOUGH we need to keep working at it ALWAYS. We are here to grow and that is what we need to do.