Urban Poly Princess

It's a beautiful Sunday. Church was good and the yummy soup at the end hit the spot.

I just texted David to see if I could call him but he's on a date. YES I'm FINALLY making an effort. I told myself I would today. His vet friend came to church who I'm sure is who he's on a date with right now. He probably saw her this weekend and during any free time he's had. I'm REALLY glad he didn't stay and eat soup with her at church.

He deleted his Facebook profile which makes me sad because I enjoyed being able to contact him easily 24/7. My crappy phone makes texting annoying because the buttons are so small I can never hit the right letter. I wonder if he deleted his profile to put distance between us. Whatever makes him happy. Free agency is sacred.

I know David would never do anything his father in heaven didn't want especially with something like this and I trust him to make correct decisions. The nice thing about the spirit is if we just follow it everything will be exactly as it should and all parties will be ultimately happy with whatever it is.

I probably wouldn't have texted him if I didn't see her in Relief Society and then DIDN'T see him at most of linger longer after church. I suspected he was on a date. His answer just confirmed it to me. I wonder if he was with her at fhe Monday and if that's why I felt like I shouldn't go. Maybe heavenly father just didn't want me to be hurt.

I always thought I wanted to date a bunch of people before BUT my Poly upbringing doesn't make it cool for me to date more than one person at a time. That IS the difference. I can hang out with just one guy all the time as friends because I can't just suddenly develop feelings for someone I don't know. Eventually this becomes more but only AFTER hanging out with them a bunch and only IF I want to hang out with them in the first place.

I want to ask David if he's dating this vet girl exclusively now but I'm not going to interrupt his date with a text ALTHOUGH I want to-I know that's not nice or respectful. It's hard NOT judging him by Poly standards. He's not doing anything wrong-being on a date is EXACTLY what Heavenly Father wants him to do-I wish I wanted to date anyone else. Why doesn't my brain work that way. I don't want to get to know anyone else. I know what my future is and I don't feel like I need to test that by dating someone I already know I'm not going to end up with.

We are supposed to move until the spirit says no. David wouldn't be on a date with his vet friend if the spirit told him not to go. If it was wrong he'd know it was. I'm sad about this but I'm not mad because my favorite thing about David is that he does listen to the guidance of the spirit. I only wish the best for him.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to find out exactly what the status of his relationship is with this vet girl. OR that I'm not going to still try to get to know him better whatever it is-BUT only if he let's me.