Urban Poly Princess

I REALLY don't feel like going to the temple which is exactly why I'm going to go Wednesday to our ward temple night. I still think the secretary is a bitch and I should forget about working there because after how I went out of my way to speak to the counselor who was filled with the spirit WHEN I WAS JUST MAD because no one called me. I have been here 3 years and I STILL can't wait to get the hell out of here. I tried to work in the temple and it's almost a year now since I submitted my paperwork. The biggest resistance I had myself is that it is a 2-year commitment and the thought of remaining here sucks. Of course I am the idiot that decided to get my MBA. I am grateful for that but I still can't believe they own me until March 25, 2015. Melanie didn't have any problem and David was probably able to take off now I'm sure without ANY resistance AT ALL AND with the assurance his place would be there when he returned.

People think I'm extra sensitive. YOU be Polynesian and have people treat you like an idiot no matter what. No matter what the hell you do it's never enough and I'm ALWAYS going to be viewed as incapable of one thing or another JUST because I'm not white. In our last presidency meeting Erin told us the bishop said they needed temple workers. I said I tried and I started crying like an idiot. They need workers who are white. I still feel my bishop is racist even after talking to him about it. Teaching AND working ALL DAY IS TOO MUCH!!! I was a basket-case that night. It didn't help that I worked from 8am to 9:45pm the night before and then Wednesday I'm FINALLY getting some rest but I have to attend that freakin RS meeting for my fake calling at 9:45.

I paid my insurance AND my Virgin mobile bill. I looove that Virgin mobile is $35 a month.

Chris Egbert was so sweet to help me change my starter. He just helped me. Sooo refreshing and nice that he didn't trip on me or start thinking we should go out JUST because he helped me. Numerous people helped me when I drove over a stake at Jonni's house. The RS presidency is so kind. There are so many people who have gone through divorces and have children they can't spend time with. I have a job I love. I love my apartment even if they are being shady with the AC. I love my new place. I need to keep trying and stop being so ungrateful. I have so many blessings. I have the spirit in my life. I have many weaknesses and I want people to be patient with me. Why can't I be that way with them? Time for me to bond with repentance.