Saturday, June 1, 2013

Saturday

Posted by 2DI4 at 9:59 PM

I made some chicken curry and when I first cooked my chicken I put all this cinnamon on the chicken by mistake. I managed to mask that cinnamon flavor thankfully. 


3 Nephi 15
2 Ye are my adisciples; and ye are a blight unto this people, who are a remnant of the house of cJoseph.

I read this in the morning but I'm just writing this now. Yesterday I went to some game night Kendra Byington had at her house. Krista called me to see if I would go with her so I did. It was alright. It's a pretty home in the nice neighborhood where David used to live. It was alright. Ryan, Dan, DR and some other guy came. Diantha, Heidi Lebaron, Kendra of course and Jodie Madsen were there. More games. Why the hell is everyone here into games???!!! I want to go on a date but there isn't anyone here I want to get to know better. I'd rather someone took me to dinner or a show. So much for what I want. If Krista hadn't called me I wouldn't have gone. I see Ryan EVERYWHERE. I suppose he's just doing what I am attending these activities hoping there will be SOMEONE, ANYONE I want to spend ANY time with AT ALL. I think it can work with anyone if you're both willing to work at it so why don't I just pick SOMEONE and make it work???!!!

Instead I'll just die single and hope I live well enough in this life for my father in heaven to pair me up with someone then. I wish I felt something or could force myself to feel something for these guys that like me AND are willing to do something about it. I DON'T however. I don't know what the hell I want. 

Stand Strong in Holy Places - Robert Hales
Ironically, standing strong sometimes means avoiding and even fleeing from the world.

I just feel like crap emotionally and there's nothing wrong. I miss David but it's not like he'd do a damn thing if he were even here. He's probably having a blast with nice cheerful women who inflate his ego. By contrast I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I have all the blessings in the world. I want more. I know I need to get married. I am freaked out by animals even if I did have a puppy in Tonga. At least I'll never be the creepy single lady with a bunch of cats. Of course I can still be the freaky single lady without the cats.

 

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