Urban Poly Princess

I miss my dad so much. He treated me like a princess every day of my life and I am so grateful for that. I'm sure some of my diva/princess-complex is because of that BUUUT I'm alright with that because I know the qualities that are truly important. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the example he was for me so I can develop into the person not just my earthy father will be pleased with but also someone my father-in-heaven is pleased to call his own. My dad was so smart and he loved his grandchildren so much. I know my father could've done and had so many things A LOT easier if he wasn't Tongan and didn't have to succeed in a country with his second language. His English was perfect but I know people never treated him the way they should because he was dark and Tongan. All of his brothers and sisters were fair. He wasn't. Despite that he was the best-looking and the tallest. Another sick day for me. I had the last of my pasta this morning. I'm out of broccoli and spinach which is bad especially when that's the base of everything I should eat. I wonder when I'll get my Yoli kit. Now it's all about paying re fees and honing my re skills. I am craving pizza STILL. I need to figure out when I last had it. I'm ready to eat it again. My eyes keep watering so I'm wearing my glasses. I don't really want to go anywhere but I want that big bag of spinach I can get at Walmart. I don't know why certain things are happening BUT if I can make it better I'm going to try. I'm NOT in love with Justin OR even in like with him. I can still appreciate his good qualities however. He is a good person and I am grateful for the chance I had to sit in on some of his discussions and to help with his baptism. I love missionary work and that is never going to change. That doesn't mean I am interested in him. I think Rich was meant to be in my life to remind me of all those things that are important to me. He is amazing, intelligent, fun and attractive BUT he is ALSO divorced with 4 children. I am in love with someone who is perfect in what matters most. He is both the most spiritual and the most intelligent man I know. He is also extremely attractive. I love him and I miss him very much but I could possibly never see him again which is why I don't like thinking about him. The ONLY reason why I'm writing about this now AT ALL is because of the remote possibility he needs to hear this BECAUSE I think he does although I could be wrong and he certainly doesn't deserve to hear it BUT that doesn't matter because he is important enough to me that I will do anything for him if I think he needs it whether he deserves it or not.