Urban Poly Princess

15 And I, being ^afifteen years of age and being somewhat of a^bsober mind, therefore I was ^cvisited of the Lord, and ^dtasted and knew of the goodness of Jesus.

I was somewhat of a sober mind when I was 15. I was working at the canoe show at the Polynesian Cultural Center. I was also in Hawaii's Modern Miss and Hawaii's National Teenager pageants. Those were both fun although I didn't place in either. It was fun to get my make-up and hair done by professionals, be in a fashion show and meet other girls from around the state. 

As much as I love Hawaii I never fit in after living in Tonga and away for the first part of my life. I've always felt like I didn't fit in wherever I went. I'm glad I lived all over the place but I didn't speak pidgin and I liked things most girls in Hawaii didn't. I've ALWAYS loooved make-up, fashion and dancing BUUUT I wasn't an airhead either and I always loved the church and had a rock testimony. I was always placed in these GT classes where I never really got along with anyone. My Tongan friends were too Tongan. My Tongan friends in Tonga spoke English as their first language and had parents who went to college. They didn't in Hawaii or even in California or Utah. Weird dynamic. I've always had friends who weren't very strong in the church or weren't LDS. 

I probably inflicted these things on myself. The men who do live the gospel and are intelligent usually aren't attractive. Men I find attractive tend to not be LDS or are inactive. That is what is most important to me. Maybe subconsciously I just don't really want to get married. Why else would I have all these stupid hangups?

19 And it came to pass that there were ^asorceries, and witchcrafts, and magics; and the power of the evil one was wrought upon all the face of the land, even unto the fulfilling of all the words of Abinadi, and also ^bSamuel the Lamanite.

This is like Ether with the wickedness but when I read Ether I feel the bloodshed and carnage. I don't get that here in Mormon.