Urban Poly Princess

So why was I supposed to go to this thing? I don't know. I tried to be social but I was getting bored near the end and then I just left. There was David, Porter, and Robert along with a whole lot of girls from the ward. David's #1 fan Katie was there along with Lark, another fan. I had to insert myself in he and Katie's conversation because he seemed pretty oblivious to the fact that I was sitting there with no one else to talk with. He made sure I knew he's going on a double date to Salt Lake City with Katie tomorrow. REALLY???!!!

He had an exclusive conversation with Katie while I just sat there. He was fine with that. I was not.

Yes I get to feel like an idiot. That's o.k.-if this is what Heavenly Father wants me to go through that's fine. I'm tired of fighting the spirit. Whatever it requires I'm just going to do my best to be happy throughout the experience. I'm not exactly happy now. It hurts and it sucks but I don't think he's a bad person. I know he listens to the spirit too. That's ALL he's been talking about lately. I know he wants to do right just as much as I do. Why don't these coincide? I've been in love before. I can fall for someone else. I don't need to be led to someone else, just away from him.

He asked Katie if she sang on her mission. He didn't ask me AND I was sitting right there. It's like I suddenly vanished and it was sooo nooot coool!!! He shared what he did while I listened and felt stupid because he wasn't including me. That is why I left as soon as I could. Sooo messed up. I know this about him already. I don't know how he thinks that's alright. I hope one day someone will make him feel like he made me feel. It won't be me because I will never treat anyone like that.