Urban Poly Princess

We were studying one of my favorite scripture passages yesterday. Alma after giving up the chief judgeship is the leader of the church and travels to strengthen the membership. I love this passage because the amazing, great Alma WRESTLES in MIGHTY PRAYER for the people of Ammonihah who not just ignore him but spit on him and drive him out of the land. I always love this story because Alma is worthy, discouraged, and prays fervently but is still discouraged and depressed when he is kicked out of Ammonihah-It is ONLY then that the angel appears, he is told to go back to Ammonihah and he meets his new missionary companion Amulek. Where was Amulek before? Why did he have to go through that? There is a talk given my President Holland I read and reread on my mission about just how many miles we'd have to travel if we decided to become great missionaries. It posed the question about when angels really came. It questioned how Nephi had to follow the spirit and actually kill a man-something contrary to EVERYTHING he had been taught. He asked why the plates couldn't have fallen off a chariot on the way to the plate polishers-why indeed? He suggested that these experiences were necessary to build the characters of these men. I started to share this awesome principle yesterday but then I thought of myself and how instead of returning to Ammonihah I've become discouraged, disenchanted and even wary of following the spirit because results haven't always been to my liking. Even with Amulek, Alma and he are still thrown into dungeons, people still treat him badly BUT this time he is supported by the Lord and given the strength to withstand his trials. My trials pale in comparison but it shouldn't matter if I feel stupid again or even again and again and again. If I'm following the spirit it doesn't matter and I will be blessed regardless. Pres. Holland talked about how when we recite the Nephi 3:7 verse I will go we need to realize exactly what we are committing to do-It can sound trite but often there are lots of miles, difficult miles that may require much more from us than we can imagine. Giving that Mexican family $500 was easy, being told I need to dealing with people and situations I've had enough of is NOT. Free agency is still sacred. I've finally resolved my free agency issue. I ALWAYS have the free agency to reject what I don't want BUT I can only do it with the knowledge I had a better option that would bring me more blessings and ultimately a fullness of joy. I can't see it right now BUT I will ALWAYS trust my Father in Heaven's wisdom over my own. Sooo I'm just going to try my best to follow the spirit AND remember that AFTER Alma had explored EVERY option AND WRESTLED with God in prayer, he was still sticken, spit on, and kicked out of the city. Only AFTER this complete and utter failure on his part did the angel appear and STILL things were not suddenly easy everywhere. I'm grateful for the messages of the Book of Mormon and I pray that I always remember the lessons they teach me.