Urban Poly Princess

The first thing I did this morning was make cornbread to take to Brent's house. It was done by the time I was finished packing everything into bags to take to church for our RS Dinner celebration.

I took all the stuff along with my trays and water fountain, decorations to our kitchen at 11:20ish. The other ward was there so the parking lot was packed and people parked illegally everywhere. I joined them to take the stuff to the kitchen. It took me 3 trips, then I parked in Siberia. I can't believe it's only 9pm. It feels later.

Steve looked great like he always does. It was just too busy for me to even talk to him much if at all. I wonder if women ask him out all the time. He brought and ate his dinner at the church. There was an interfaith concert there tonight. The sweet girl I home teach Brasilia invited me to attend with her. If I hadn't committed to taking cornbread to Brent's I would've done that. However he was probably going with Yuri who ate at our RS Birthday thing today although she's not in my RS. I love the green she was wearing today. That is my favorite green. Chartreuse or sort of a lime color. I look good in bright colors which is why I'm attracted to them.

I'm going to ask Steve about his social life. I've seen this guy Scott in some of his pictures. He was at Brent's house tonight. Apparently he has been to Oahu MANY times with his dad who works for Delta. He has visited Oahu so many times he doesn't want to go there again for a looong time. He is nice enough. I've seen in some of Brent and Carlos' pictures.

Scott said something about an ABC store on every block in Waikiki. I told him Steve Glain has an ABC T-shirt and he said NOTHING and actually changed the subject. REALLY???!!! I was trying to get Steve 411 through his friend but I gave that up real quick when he did. That was stupid of me. Like some guy really wants to take about his friend to another girl.

I hope Mike can work his magic on my laptop. My brother will just tell me my laptop is too old and I need a new one. YES that is true, it is also true I don't have a job. I'm not sure why I'm irritable NOW. My home teacher was talking about trying different library connections. I HAVE FREAKING LIBRARY CONNECTIONS BUT I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

I'm returning to my Zumba class tomorrow. It better go well. My goals for tomorrow are first Zumba, 2nd apply at a temporary agency, 3rd FHE AND talk to Steve about his social life. Today I felt like a lot of girls ask him out regularly so he never has to ask anyone out ever. That doesn't work for me ALTHOUGH I still need a date this weekend and he is who I want to go with. I need to feel him out completely tomorrow or at least enough to know if he's dating anyone and what he's doing exactly socially.

Ward Conference
President Clayton in Sunday School
No growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone
President Grant
Forgive the unforgivable
Love the unloveable
Fix relationships that have been wounded
Bishop
Hope is not just a way to endure
President Grant
Deepen Understanding of deity
Focus on ordinances and covenants
Unite gospel with church

It was significant to me when president Grant spoke on forgiving the unforgivable, loving the unloveable and fixing relationships that have been wounded. EVERYTHING really hit me hard and I know I need to fix my annoying relationship. I need to acknowledge his existence and NOT act like he has. It doesn't matter how he reacts or acts as far as my spiritual state is concerned BUT it does matter that I have animosity. I need to be able to say hello to him when and if I encounter him without wanting to punish him for how he treated me. I have to be sincere. I need more time to consider and pray about this. Having my attitude is not conducive to the spirit and I am only allowing him to hurt my spiritual state. The thing is that it is me that has brought this about.

We don't have to hang out but I can't ever let what happened at the Bevan's house happen again. I shouldn't have to be the one to EVER reach out to him BUT I need to do that. If he doesn't respond to me that is fine but I have to do that regardless.