Urban Poly Princess

I must like him more than I thought I did. 45, not divorced, no children, RM, LDS - PERFECT - if he had EVER bothered to ask me how old I was he'd know I'm 44 NOT divorced, no children, RM AND LDS. My guess is he actually turns 46 in October. If he had turned 46 at his last birthday he would've been kicked out of our ward. I turn 45 in September then after a year I also get to attend my family ward. I plan to do that with a husband. YES he checks off all my mental checklist boxes BECAUSE I check them off too. I know I'm complaining because I like him but it's what is going to let me move on faster. I had already resigned myself to ending up with someone significantly younger because that's all I'm attracted to - I guess not. I am attracted to Steve or I never would've tried to get to know him better in the first place.

If he was interested in someone else he never should've flirted with me as much as he did. I sooo don't believe that. He has had his own stalker moments. I'm not blind although sometimes I might pretend not to see what I do. His decision to not attend our ward anymore only proves it to me. It's like he doesn't want to be interested in me although he is - why? Spiritually, mentally, physically I am as strong as him if not stronger. He's been an Elder's Quorum president, yea!!! so what, I've been a RS president at my BYU-Hawaii singles' ward. I'm sure he never had to tell men as president they had to start coming to church or they'd get dismissed from school. The joys of being RS president at a church school ward.

No the spirit has never led me to him. Maybe it led me to annoying as strongly as it did because it knew I would've dismissed him otherwise. The spirit was never against him either like it was Rich either. This was my decision and it took me awhile to come to that decision.

My sister-in-law is 46, a Zumba instructor, has had 9 kids and a size 0. I'm glad she found friends who wear make up and dress up because she looks fabulous. I know having me as a sister-in-Missionaries and representatives of Jesus Christ and his church should look great all the time. There is nothing wrong with looking good. It does not reflect your faith or testimony OR your intelligence for that matter. It has always been my goal to excel at all things and looking good is just part of the complete package.

I probably can't have kids - he would make a great father. I'm still going to try. That is major, I know that.

What we don't share are the things that aren't important. Politics - I don't really know but I'm pretty good at discernment and I think he is an independent with liberal tendencies. He is definitely a tree-hugging bleeding-heart although I don't think he's a Democrat. He did post a beautiful red beamer he test-drove which tells me he doesn't have a problem with nice things. What a Republican characteristic. I am unapologetically Republican and conservative. I actually lived in a third-world country. Would I have shared my political views eventually? Most definitely. Would we have clashed? Probably BUT I wanted the chance to find that out myself.

I definitely don't share his love for the great outdoors and nature. Is that so important to him? Probably.

It doesn't ultimately matter, what does is he doesn't want to get to know me better and I have to respect that.

Finally what I enjoyed about Steve is he is just fun to talk to and be around. I know I'll find someone else soon enough BUUUT for now I'm going to eat some ice-cream and mourn my loss.