Urban Poly Princess

Last night I was still applying for my 4th job of the week so I can collect my last unemployment check so I got to the pi party late. Yesterday I didn't have pie in the house so I ate pop-tarts for breakfast, since they are sort of pie, then went to Smith's. I bought a peach pie and cherry pie from the bakery and 3 assorted mini banquet pot pies for .89 each, I also got 2 boxes of hot pockets and ate a bunch of that throughout the day. When I got to the pi party most people had eaten by then so no one touched what I brought. I fit most of the peach and cherry pie in a tray. When I left I put pieces from the pies that were there and exchanged them with some of my peach and cherry slices so now I have an assortment.

It was bound to happen sooner or later, I saw annoying there. Sooo weird after all this time. I'm surprised I haven't come across him sooner. It was strange and I felt like I should say something but nothing seems appropriate and I'm not interested in being his friend or in having any type of relationship with him at all. Annoying is the single instance I can say without a doubt the spirit failed me. I kept trusting that and walking in the dark but the light never came and all it kept doing was make me feel like crap and act psychotic. I know on an intellectual level that can't be true but it is what I feel. After all this time I don't see how I gained ANYTHING from him and it would've been better if we never met. My life was not enriched in any way. I was veeery happy I didn't get a spiritual nudge there last night because if the spirit was a person and tried that with me last night I would've given it a slap. Not really I will ALWAYS do what the spirit leads me to do but I had more than enough in and around annoying that resulted in not a damn thing.

The spirit is not leading me to Steve at all BUT it isn't leading me away either. I was so angry when we were doing our ward sealings and I was his partner for several marriages and felt nothing. Steve is one of the best men I've ever met. He isn't as tall as I want but his spirit is a giant. He is attractive to me although he dresses a little stuffy sometimes. He looks really good in brown because his eyes are blue. He could be a politician or newscaster with his look. I just want to see him a little edgier. He did look exactly how I wanted him to look that one Sunday. I thought he went to Katie's party last night but some Terra girl posted pictures of some Russian pianist and tagged him along with some other women. I really don't know but my sense is Steve is all about the group date but doesn't go out enough on single dates to really get to know anyone the way he needs to do that. Today I'm either getting to know him better or eliminating him as a possibility.