Urban Poly Princess

I slept until after 10am this morning since I stayed up late. I am finishing my laundry/cleaning my kitchen/room apartment in general. I'm going to try my cookies with hazelnuts since they were on sale last week. I want to try my recipe and see if they're good for Justin's baptism next Saturday at 7pm. I want it to be the best. It is at 7pm at our chapel next Saturday. I'm still making sandwiches and cookies then buying chips. Simple BUT good refreshments. I want him to remember his baptism well.

I made fried rice for breakfast. My recipe has a lot of stuff and I'm out of brown sugar. Nooot cool but I'm just going to do the best with the ingredients I do have. I'm going to maybe make some pizza crust too and try a homemade pizza only I'm going to make the crust thinner. I hope it'll taste alright. I have ground beef, spaghetti sauce and cheese. Cooking really is worth it. It tastes better than anything you can get at a restaurant.

Ether 6
 3 And thus the Lord caused stones to shine in darkness, to give light unto men, women, and children, that they might not cross the great waters in darkness.

What stones does the Lord give me to shine in darkness so I don't confront challenges without his help.

I emailed my real estate instructor. I can study and catch up with everything on my own. There are so many study helps I found through the databases Salt Lake County has now. I convinced my boss it would be to our benefit to buy the book too and I'm returning the study guide I wasted $20 overnighting. I'm excited about this part of my life.

I wrote the message I'm going to email to an agent I want to be my mentor. I asked a bunch of people who they used. Her name keeps coming up. I hope this is doable. Derek said it is essential for me to find someone I can work with since I want to do this part time. Full time is not an option.

Ether 5

Last year the steak was crappy AND this year the first steak I got was too tough. The second was the same. What do people have against marinade???!!! There was a lot of meat BUT it didn't taste very good. I have lots of sugary desserts in the fridge and now I'm watching mindless TV before I take out my contacts and go to bed. I definitely have to catch up on my sleep.

So Diehard comes to my work and invites me to go with her to her work party. I went with her last year. Her daughter has to study tonight. I don't have anything specific to do tonight. I just want to be a vegetable.I told her I was very tired and she told me I don't have to stay there long. I told her I was going to do that. GRRR... I like a free steak dinner with an assortment of desserts that are bad for me INSTEAD of cooking. BUUUT she annoys me greatly so I am just encouraging her by attending this.

YES the food is making me go. What am I doing to myself?

Last night I remained in class because you need 120 hours of class time before you can take the test BUUUT I was sooo sleepy and it took EVERYTHING in me to stay awake. I made arrangements with my instructor to go there Friday at noon to review the class. He tapes everything so students who have to make up hours can do that. I was overwhelmed and NOT getting what was discussed.

Last night I was firm with my orthodontist. If I had just been this firm in the beginning I wouldn't have had any problems. He said he didn't want me to waste any money. I told him this was what I wanted to do. I told him I'd get invisalign IF I needed it AFTER using the red, white and blue aligner system I was on in the first place. He is really stubborn. IF he had just listened to me I'd be done now. He kept trying to give me aligners he made in-house that don't move my teeth at the gum line.I told him there was NOOO way I was getting braces but that if what I wanted to do didn't work, I'd do Invisilign. Invisilign will cost between 2800 and 4800. Completely doable if I have to do that although next year I wanted laser surgery. I would looove to get rid of my contacts forever. I hope I don't need it so I can have my laser surgery next year.

Ether 4
13 ^aCome unto me, O ye Gentiles, and I will show unto you the greater things, the knowledge which is hid up because of unbelief.

15 Behold, when ye shall rend that veil of unbelief which doth cause you to remain in your awful state of wickedness, and hardness of heart, and blindness of mind, then shall the great and marvelous things which have been ^ahid up from the foundation of the world from you—yea, when ye shall ^bcall upon the Father in my name, with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, then shall ye know that the Father hath remembered the covenant which he made unto your fathers, O house of Israel.

Lack of faith led to knowledge being kept from the people. The same principle can be applied to me. What knowledge do I not have because I don't have sufficient faith? Something to think about.

We Are One - Henry B. Eyring
The Lord made it clear at the very start of this last dispensation that we were to take the gospel to all the world. What He said to the few priesthood holders in 1831 He says to the many now. Whatever our age, capacity, Church calling, or location, we are as one called to the work to help Him in His harvest of souls until He comes again. He said to those first laborers in the vineyard:

I love that the work is hastening. The last article I read said missionaries now number 75,000. Elders can wear khakis and light suits now. I like that change. I love the khaki with navy jacket look. Very classic and it still looks great.

Ether 3
9 And the Lord said unto him: Because of thy faith thou hast seen that I shall take upon me ^aflesh and blood; and never has man come before me with ^bsuch exceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have seen my finger. Sawest thou more than this?

There is a point when I should be able to pursue something else. I know and I know he knows too. He is choosing not to do this, NOT ME!!! HE MADE HIS CHOICE so why the hell doesn't my direction CHANGE!!! Not everyone follows the spirit. That shouldn't affect me as long as I do what I should. I have tried really hard AND it hasn't been easy. So I should be able to move on with options that make me feel like a princess NOT like a dog.

I trust my father in heaven BUUUT Justin is sweet and good. If he's not for me I shouldn't be selfish because that just means someone else is a better choice for him. I can't even ask because I already know and it's like when I was going to ask if the church is true, I couldn't because I always knew it was.I knew the Book of Mormon was true and Joseph Smith was a prophet of God always too. My testimony of each of these grows but there was never a time when it wasn't there. I'm grateful for the insight I've always had, I just don't like how this is playing out at all. I'm pretty sure there's a limit to this. I'm supposed to have 3 daughters. I just don't see that happening right now. I also had that freaky feeling I'd be married really quickly AND that's not happening either.

I didn't know right away. I nabbed my friend checking me out in the beginning twice but I wasn't impressed. He looked like he was 12 and he had this ugly backpack and jacket. I went out of my way to meet him just to see if he was worth my time BUT usually that's ALL I have to do. Later I passed him and was surprised that he didn't stop me and talk to me. I thought I had to do all the work so I started but I hate that and I don't know what to do. I know how to take care of men I'm NOT interested in. Men I am interested in are supposed to do everything.

There has been so much divine interference with my friend. I never prayed about whether he is who I should be with either but I know now. It is really obvious to me if I spend any time with him.STILL, I should be able to find someone else if he isn't going to do anything. I want to do that now. I like Justin, he is inherently good and he's NORMAL. My ward is filled with misfits. I don't consider myself one of them BUT I AM in this ward filled with people who couldn't get married when they turned 31.

I am SICK of walking in the dark. When does the damn light come on???!!! I still want to know what type of missionary my friend was. I am REALLY going to have a problem if I'm supposed to marry someone who was and or is a crappy missionary. I don't know how that would work AT ALL!!!

I was just thinking if I did hook up with Justin and we actually did get to the marriage point he couldn't take me to the temple for at least a year. I like long relationships BUT I feel like my biological clock is ticking loudly now. I know what I want. I don't think I need to date someone that long anymore. Actually all I need is my father in heaven's seal of approval. I know what I SHOULD do. I should ask now BEFORE I get to know him as anything more than just a friend. I just don't want to because he is sweet and looks fantastic while my ward is filled with ugly boring men. Myrick is the exception NOT the rule. Lots of meh men. I think I already know my answer and I'm REALLY sick of it. I don't need to ask. I already know he's not for me. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop being his friend. No one else is friendshipping him.

So she came to visit me at work today for a second. Why???!!! Who the hell knows. I am happy for her because she did find a place right by the temple. AND I'm happy she's not visiting me EVERY day either. I need to start cooking stuff for tomorrow right now. I do not get her refusal to give up on trying to be in my face all the time.

Tomorrow is my orthodontist appointment. I need to be strong and get what I want. I want the red white and blue aligner system AGAIN.

I had fallen asleep when Elenoa CAME OVER to see if I would go with her to the institute class in Providence. That is one way to GUARANTEE I NEVER go back there again!!! I told her nooo of course. What the hell is her problem!!! I'm happy she's found her place. She asked me if I had ever read President Monson's biography. I told her NOOO.

I need to cook. First the dishes are screaming at me to do them however. I like that she's Poly BUT NOOO I don't want to hang out with you, leave me the hell ALONE. I don't know what it's going to take for her to get a damn clue. So today she visited me at work AND at home. She wants to go to Justin's baptism since she came over the day I hosted him for his discussion.

Her friend is Shauna who aged out of our ward and looks like she aged out of the ward. She kept telling me how much she loves looking at the temple. Good BUUUT why the hell are you telling me???!!! She can keep inviting me to things and I can keep refusing her.

I need to make zucchini bread. I have Lauresa's recipe. I also took this chicken stir-fry Thai recipe off Facebook. I had all the ingredients except peanuts and lime juice. I bought that the last time I went to the store. I wore my grey pants and grey lightweight jacket. I've been receiving compliments ALL DAY.

I had to close my computer when she came over because I didn't want her to read her own name.

Faculty meeting today. I can't believe I slept so late last night. I found some practice Real Estate exam questions online and I had fun doing that. I really feel good about my decision to do this. I'm going to spend my 2 bucks now on things I don't need. I have to cook tonight.

The sisters just texted me to see if I could pick them up from USU. Today is their P-Day. I picked them up, took them home so sister Shreve? could get her wallet then dropped them off at Walmart.Sister Sonasi wanted to know how old I was. I told her I was 16. She told me Justin is 33. He is either a year older or the same age as my friend. Yea for my Cougar tendencies drifting away!!! I still like younger men but I'm getting A LOT better than I used to be.

I told Sister Sonasi to get Trevor to attend a discussion with Justin. He has a girlfriend BUUUT that doesn't mean you forget about your calling. REALLY if you can't date someone AND fulfill your calling you need to get released. Because we are mid-singles you are preparing for marriage when you date in my ward, shirking your calling is a definite way NOT to prepare for celestial marriage. Sister Sonasi asked how long Lauresa and Matt had been dating. I told her it's time for them to get married. Then she asked me if I was just waiting for Justin to get married.She said if I dated him it would help him remain strong in the church. I told her maybe I should do that.

What a sacrificial lamb I am helping an attractive guy feel comfortable in the ward!!! I keep TRYING to introduce him to people. I keep hoping some guy will randomly friendship him. I had to ask Porter to take him to priesthood. Now he is better about it but I still do the bulk of his fellowshipping.

Ether 2
15 And the brother of Jared repented of the evil which he had done, and did call upon the name of the Lord for his brethren who were with him. And the Lord said unto him: I will forgive thee and thy brethren of their sins; but thou shalt not sin any more, for ye shall remember that my ^aSpirit will not always ^bstrive with man; wherefore, if ye will sin until ye are fully ripe ye shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord. And these are my ^cthoughts upon the land which I shall give you for your inheritance; for it shall be a land ^dchoice above all other lands.

Followers of Christ - Dallin H. Oaks
I testify of our Savior, Jesus Christ, whose teachings and example we seek to follow. He invites all of us who are heavy laden to come unto Him, to learn of Him, to follow Him, and thus to find rest to our souls (seeMatthew 4:19; 11:28). I testify of the truth of His message and of the divine mission and authority of His restored Church in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

The books won't be here until next week so I decided to check Amazon. I bought a used book BUT I paid for a day shipping so it'll be here Wednesday morning or afternoon. We went over RE math today or rather sped through it. I love math but he was going REALLY fast. A lot of people don't like math. I REALLY feel bad for them. If I got confused here and there, the non-math people were overwhelmed. The lady sitting by me was feeling horrible.

Some of the problems I spent too much time doing and he'd show us this super-fast way of figuring it out. That made me irritated. I know it's just a matter of becoming familiar with his super-fast easy way of doing things. I didn't take my calculator either and I was doing a bunch of stuff by hand. I can't believe I found my book on Amazon. It's amazing that I didn't use my gift card money yet. It's like I was meant not to buy anything with what I needed to buy this book and get it here fast.

I ran out of garments so I am doing a load of laundry. So much for trying to get to bed early.

Krista wanted to know if I would rent my room to her. Since she's going to be here maybe 2 months max I told her she could stay with me and she didn't need to pay me anything. I don't think she's comfortable staying with me without paying me anything. I'm going to tell her she can pay whatever she wants. I wouldn't mind her on a temporary basis BUT I don't know anyone else I'm willing to rent my spare room to EVEN short-term.

My niece could stay with me for free as long as she wanted to do that. If she wanted to pay rent that's fine too and I'd just get it from her father. I need a bed. I asked Esther to price a Queen-size mattress and box spring for me. DI sells new beds, bed frames and dressers I think they make. I told her just a simple Queen-size bed. I don't care if it's pillow-top or has a memory foam mattress. I can move my double bed to my spare room and my mother would have a bed to sleep on if she ever visits me. I need to make her visit me one weekend.

Whenever I go to Salt Lake City and sleep on my Queen-size bed I feel so deprived. First-world problem but a problem still.

Today  I need to go and pay my electric bill. Rent is due on the first which lands on a Sunday. Labor day is the Monday following that. My father in heaven has blessed me so much. My gas needs are minimal since I work so close to where I live.

Ether 1
43 And there will I bless thee and thy seed, and raise up unto me of thy seed, and of the seed of thy brother, and they who shall go with thee, a great nation. And ^athere shall be none ^bgreater than the nation which I will raise up unto me of thy seed, upon all the face of the earth. And thus I will do unto thee because this long time ye have cried unto me.

Praying is often referred to in the scriptures as crying. Crying is emotional which is why I think it is translated the way it is. Prayers need to be sincere and heartfelt. The power of prayer is significant. Consistent fervent prayer is essential to call down the powers of heaven.

The Lord's Way - Elder Stanley G. Ellis
Think of it, brothers and sisters—we are not spiritual orphans! We are not alone.
Everywhere it is tried, the world learns the evils of the dole. 
Brothers and sisters, do we really think the critical factor in the salvation of our children is the neighborhood where we live? The apostles and prophets have often taught that what happens inside the home is far more important than what our children encounter outside. How we raise our children is more important than where we raise them.
Only once in 16 years did I receive a call asking, “Which ward needs a good family? Where can we help?”
Do we really expect President Monson to individually tell more than 14 million of us where our family is needed? The Lord’s way is that we hearken to our leaders’ teachings, understand correct principles, and govern ourselves.

I love that allusion to Joseph Smith's statement, I give them correct principles and let them govern themselves. We are not NOR should we be commanded in all things. We need to figure out our own salvation. I like this about the gospel it makes sense and it is what I love. We should only worry about other people's spiritual health out of love and a desire to help them NOT to judge them, cut them down or anything else.

I wonder if any mission presidents were called even though they never served missions themselves. Alright I just did a search. President Monson served in the navy and didn't get a chance to serve a mission himself BUT he did serve as a mission president in the Canada mission. President Hunter never served a mission either.

I REALLY want to be the wife of a mission president. While there is no way to guarantee that, I want the best chance for that possible. I've known what my husband's eventual lifetime calling is going to be for a long time. The mission president thing should and can come first. It's something I really want.

I just saw this ad for a new matial arts movie The Grandmaster, exactly what I want to see. My martial arts love has been since I was in elementary school. I'm so excited there's a new one out.

Justin's spirit is pure. He hasn't shown me anything to indicate he can't represent the Lord as his special witness if he continues on the path he is traveling. I would be an idiot if I didn't continue to get to know him better.

I bought a cheese pizza and then fried some chicken and spinach in shoyu and brown sugar for teriyaki flavor. I put it on the cheese pizza and popped it in the oven. I poured the left over sauce over the pizza. That was a mistake. It was delicious but a little too salty and I should've used more spinach. It really cooks down.

Sister Sonasi needed some toothpaste so I was sure to get her some AND attend the fireside I didn't want to attend because I knew Jared would be there and I REALLY didn't want to see/talk to him. He was sitting in the second row where I usually sit and I got there right when the opening song was beginning so I didn't see him there.

She asked me what I thought about Justin. Yes he's beautiful AND sweet BUT I ALWAYS wanted an RM. It's probably bad to hold that against him. He is completely golden and I love that but I haven't had any divine guidance leading me there.

I texted my friend right before he left and crickets. I did it AGAIN today and the same thing.Why was I led there if nothing is going to happen. Free agency is so sacred. I had to convince myself to forgive him and make an effort to get to know him better even after he treated me horribly. I don't believe he doesn't like me, a lot BUT I do believe he doesn't want anything more with me for whatever reason. It doesn't matter why. I never doubted how he feels about me but if he doesn't want to be with me he shouldn't.

I never imagined myself with a convert EVER BUT if I can just get the divine seal of approval I am happy to develop our friendship. There's nothing wrong with him. He doesn't seem to value education and I don't think he's ever been to college. I don't like that but I like everything else. We drove by a town named Cornish on our way to Clarkston. I asked him if the hens were from there. He had no idea what I was talking about. My friend didn't go on a mission until he was 25. That really isn't much different.

Justin's NEVER treated me like a dog, if anything he's treated me exactly like I want to be treated, like a princess. I'm not going to ask anything yet. I don't want to be told no. I am however going to continue to get to know him better. I will develop our friendship and help him embrace the gospel fully. If it ever turns into more I am fine with that. If not, I am also fine with that. I want to get married and have kids now. I love my friend very much and I want him to be happy with whoever he thinks will do that for him. I am conceited enough to believe I am the only person who can give him that BUUUT I want my daughters now and I intend to get to know Justin better.

He may not be as smart as my friend and engineering pays A LOT better than construction BUT I intend to make more than enough money just as a librarian/real estate agent/zumba instructor so my family is NEVER without although I ALSO will stay home with my children EVEN if I have to live in crappy circumstances. Justin is perfectly capable of providing me with what I need for the highest blessings in the celestial kingdom. He is good and just as pure and wholesome as my friend. My dad was a contractor. I know what it takes to do well financially in that industry and Justin is more than capable of making that happen. My family is REALLY not going to like that he hasn't been to school BUT they'll get over it. Our daughters would be gorgeous.

Justin came to church and the sisters gave him a lesson during priesthood before he went home. He had a cousin in town from California. I gave him a hard time about NOT texting me back last night. He didn't go to FHE with Trevor because instead of fishing he went camping for several days with his uncle and then his cousin came down from California. His baptism will be not this Saturday but the following Saturday.

USU starts tomorrow so I thought I'd see my friend in church today but I didn't. Who knows he could be married right now. I texted him asking where he is. He's probably just going to be in church next Sunday OR maybe he's dating someone now.

The sisters needed a ride to dinner so I took them there and missed choir practice. Krista came to church today and I was busy getting people to say prayers and writing the program on the board. She found us a seat right by Katie, David's friend that's getting married in October. She's our choir director. I just don't trust her BUT she made me think about him which is why I texted him. I hope he's alright. I'm sure he's fine.

There is a nice-looking new guy I went out of my way to meet. He remembered the sisters from his family ward. He is divorced but he talked about his kids. IMMEDIATE turnoff!!! Why the hell didn't it work with anyone before. Why am I in the old maid single ward???!!! What did I do to deserve this???!!! Sister Sonasi wants me to go to Tonga with her in December. That would be so much fun BUUUT I can't go there until AFTER I get married. My relatives would have a bunch of guys lined up for me to hurry up and marry. Sonasi asked me if I was dating anyone then she told me my ward didn't have anyone good in it. YEAH JUST WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!!! Nil prospects.