Urban Poly Princess

Sister Sonasi needed some toothpaste so I was sure to get her some AND attend the fireside I didn't want to attend because I knew Jared would be there and I REALLY didn't want to see/talk to him. He was sitting in the second row where I usually sit and I got there right when the opening song was beginning so I didn't see him there.

She asked me what I thought about Justin. Yes he's beautiful AND sweet BUT I ALWAYS wanted an RM. It's probably bad to hold that against him. He is completely golden and I love that but I haven't had any divine guidance leading me there.

I texted my friend right before he left and crickets. I did it AGAIN today and the same thing.Why was I led there if nothing is going to happen. Free agency is so sacred. I had to convince myself to forgive him and make an effort to get to know him better even after he treated me horribly. I don't believe he doesn't like me, a lot BUT I do believe he doesn't want anything more with me for whatever reason. It doesn't matter why. I never doubted how he feels about me but if he doesn't want to be with me he shouldn't.

I never imagined myself with a convert EVER BUT if I can just get the divine seal of approval I am happy to develop our friendship. There's nothing wrong with him. He doesn't seem to value education and I don't think he's ever been to college. I don't like that but I like everything else. We drove by a town named Cornish on our way to Clarkston. I asked him if the hens were from there. He had no idea what I was talking about. My friend didn't go on a mission until he was 25. That really isn't much different.

Justin's NEVER treated me like a dog, if anything he's treated me exactly like I want to be treated, like a princess. I'm not going to ask anything yet. I don't want to be told no. I am however going to continue to get to know him better. I will develop our friendship and help him embrace the gospel fully. If it ever turns into more I am fine with that. If not, I am also fine with that. I want to get married and have kids now. I love my friend very much and I want him to be happy with whoever he thinks will do that for him. I am conceited enough to believe I am the only person who can give him that BUUUT I want my daughters now and I intend to get to know Justin better.

He may not be as smart as my friend and engineering pays A LOT better than construction BUT I intend to make more than enough money just as a librarian/real estate agent/zumba instructor so my family is NEVER without although I ALSO will stay home with my children EVEN if I have to live in crappy circumstances. Justin is perfectly capable of providing me with what I need for the highest blessings in the celestial kingdom. He is good and just as pure and wholesome as my friend. My dad was a contractor. I know what it takes to do well financially in that industry and Justin is more than capable of making that happen. My family is REALLY not going to like that he hasn't been to school BUT they'll get over it. Our daughters would be gorgeous.