Urban Poly Princess

Sarah is one of the women I visit. She invited both me and Jonni but Jonni's parents cook them dinner each Sunday in Hyrum. Carline was also there. Sarah's chili was delicious. She made some yummy corn bread too. It was interesting to hear some of the things they confront. They are both divorced and have experiences I can't relate to now. We went to Margaret Oak's farewell party and then the bishop's fireside.

David has lost his compulsion to flirt with EVERY female he encounters. A good thing unless he still wants 15 girls to think he's interested. Sarah said he's dating now. I didn't ask who he was dating but if he is, it's had a good effect on him. I like this David muuuch better OR maybe it's just because our interaction is limited now. Whatever, it works. I really hope he invites some guys to fhe tomorrow. I REALLY don't want David to be the only guy again. Sarah said she'd bring an apple pie and that someone would have to bring ice-cream if she did that so I agreed. I hope more than David, Mindie, me and Sarah attend.

Sooo our activity tomorrow is eating/making pie. I hope Sarah enjoys it. I wish it was something different. It is NOT an activity that makes me WANT to attend. Instead it is something I will attend because I feel like I should. I tried to help BUT nothing I did was received well AND they were offended instead of happy I helped. I just ended up hurt and angry because they treated me like a dog. I don't care enough about Mindie for it to have affected me when she did that but I do care about David AND it was REALLY hard for me to stop hating him-I am glad I was able to overcome that. I felt a little better at the Movie night BUT Mindie didn't attend because she was "sick"-I don't know if I really believe that or not. The next day I was annoyed all over again because that's the day I tried to look him up on Linked In AND the whole process of trying to forgive him and rid myself of those bad feelings started again. BUUUT it works!!! I listened the entire day to President Uchtdorf's stop it talk and I was able to stop it!!!

I am glad Margaret talked today about forgiving and forgetting. We should forgive everyone all the time BUT we should NOT give them the access they enjoyed before. We can be kind and Christlike without putting ourself in a position to be hurt again. I have NEVER tried so hard and FAILED to be someone's friend before. I am numb now and it's just not worth it for me to try. I NEVER should've let myself care about him in the first place. It's not like any of this was a surprise. That combination of intelligence AND spirituality was too much for me to resist.