Urban Poly Princess

I looove election day. If it were my choice I'd be home ALL day glued to my laptop since I don't have cable. It's the deal I made myself when I turned it off. I'm not getting it again until my MBA is done. I can see anything I want online however and WHEN I want it. Hulu also plays Korean Dramas when I am REALLY in a time-wasting mode. I haven't watched the last season of Dexter either. I love that show even if it is sympathetic to a serial killer.

Not having cable hasn't been difficult because anything I want to see I can view online for free.

My  friend Sam wrote on his facebook page that he's going to start a new thing-Stupidest things he's heard at a testimony meeting. He wrote about Devry who DID say Heavenly Father loves all his children, EVEN THE ONES IN HAITI. He wrote WOW!!! about that. My sojourn in Cache Valley has desensitized me because it didn't alarm me when I heard her say that. I know she meant no harm when she inadvertently revealed her condescending ethnocentric attitude-I doubt she even considers it-BUT that just makes it worse. In the same breath she also talked about how grateful she was to be from this country and how lucky she felt to come home. I've felt the same way. HOWEVER, I hope she entertains the notion that not EVERYONE shares this view AND that perhaps she is biased but I don't think she will.

Reading Sam's post was a reminder to me of how sheltered this valley is and of how there is no way in hell I want to raise my family here. People are kind. They are just sooo sheltered and hold all these racist and condescending attitudes they aren't even aware they have.

People are multifaceted. It doesn't matter where I am. I will always confront this. It just seems like there is much more of it here. I feel like I'm always going to be underestimated. That is not necessarily a bad thing. There are things I enjoy using to my advantage because of that. People are always going to think I'm younger than I am. I don't mind that. They will also assume I'm stupid. I DO mind that although I really shouldn't. I'm extra-sensitive about it and sometimes I overcompensate and am condescending. Instead I should let it happen and exploit it. O.K. that doesn't sound good. Exploit it with pure motives? NO, I think I need a better word than exploit. Choose to be kind even when and especially when others treat me badly and assume I don't know that they have done that-much better although maybe not as fun initially.

David gets the same thing. He looks a lot younger than he is and I know people underestimate him all the time. He is extremely intelligent AND spiritual. He has the testimony AND commitment required to lead BUT his youthful appearance will make it so he constantly has to prove himself before someone recognizes that BUT it will happen when it really matters.

All those great things and I am still well aware of his faults, weaknesses and recurring subpar performance.

BUT we all have that. Why did I have to see so much of it?

I don't hate him. I have seperated his actions from him. Last night I saw him WITHOUT those bad feelings. He has definitely done things I hate BUT I am very happy to say I don't hate him OR anyone!!! Heavenly father WILL help us with our challenges however silly they seem. After testimony meeting Sunday I felt like my problem was so silly AND it is BUT it was still my challenge that kept me from being who I want to be. On my mission I remember constantly praying for my investigators to soften their hearts. This is the first time I had to pray as hard as I did and work as hard as I did to soften my own heart. BUT doing what I already know I need to do worked.

I can't wait to discover who will be my president for the next 4 years!!!