Urban Poly Princess

I was going through some of my old papers and I came across some old journal entries from over 10 years ago. I was still trying to live by the spirit AND find my eternal companion. It made me feel sooo stupid. I am not sad none of my past relationships worked. I am glad I didn't marry any of them. I want a family and I miss that and wish I had that BUT I wasn't willing to spend eternity with any of them or have a family with them. Despite that I feel good about the decisions I made and I feel good that I was attending the temple regularly AND trying to figure out my Father in Heaven's will.

Over 10 years ago AND I STILL haven't found someone to marry. I was better then spiritually. I NEVER missed reading my Book of Mormon then. I haven't been as consistent as I need to be. I went to the temple a lot more but that was mainly because I lived two blocks from it downtown AND only worked the graveyard weekends. Every day I woke up whenever. It's easy to make reading your scriptures the first thing you do when you wake up when you don't need to be anywhere. I just had homework for library school during the week.  I've tried to follow the guidance I've received now and that hasn't worked. SOOO I am hoping and praying that means I can move now. Especially with this snow, I can't wait to get the hell out of here!!!

It's o.k. if I just have to wait for the next life. I'm not willing to settle AND even though I didn't like the eternal guidance I received, I STILL did what I could. I STILL followed the spirit and I am STILL trying to do that. I am fine and happy doing that even if I never get to have my family in this life.

The snow just convinces me more that I need to leave this freaking farm. Something that makes me excited is that I do feel like I need to complete my MBA asap. Maybe that means I'll be able to move soon. I've more than done my time in Logan!!! I've been here 2 1/2 years. All the stupid people who told me I might like it here-NOOO!!! I am moving to California. I can fly here to see my family BUUUT when I leave Logan I'm never coming back.