Urban Poly Princess

I read what I write on here and see how emotional I can be. It makes me feel stupid. I don't like it BUT I am going to own it as one of my characteristics. I usually don't care enough about other people enough to be affected. David has seriously screwed with my head. When I first met David he was nice and NORMAL. What the hell happened?

It's been almost 2 weeks now and I've felt on the verge of tears when NOTHING'S going on but my bad feelings. I keep reading Pres. Uchtdorf's talk and I keep praying-why isn't that working??? Maybe it hasn't been enough time BUT I sure feel like it's been MORE than enough time for me to get with it. I thought it was over BUT then yesterday when I saw David I realized I just wasn't thinking about it or dealing with it. Fast Sunday just intensifies everything. In some ways that's good BUT in some ways I'd rather it NOT do that.

I'm going to try this AGAIN. When I forced myself to go to fhe that one time with just he and Mindie it was fine. I need to stop thinking about all the things I learned that I hate-I CAN hate the actions. That is o.k.!!! I don't need to hate him!!!

He works in the temple. That is evidence he wants to be worthy. He is trying. He may be social now, but he did tell me he was really shy at one time. He isn't used to the variety of social situations most people find routine. I know my Father in Heaven loves him very much OR I wouldn't have had the amount of divine guidance I've had in his direction. That should be enough. Why isn't it???!!!

It is ENOUGH and I AM getting over this today. THIS HAS WASTED ENOUGH OF MY TIME. I WILL BE DONE WITH THIS TODAY AND I WILL BE STRONGER AND BETTER!!!