Urban Poly Princess

Yesterday was my free day. I ate all the Valentine's junk I had accumulated. I left it in my microwave overnight to defrost. My sugar cookies were delicious. We order them from Macy's for work and Susie is the manager at Old Grist Mill. Her sugar cookies were VERY good. I'm glad I froze 2. The raspberry roll was very good too. My cupcake was perfect!!! Lot's of junk that lasted me all day yesterday. I had a frozen pizza. I ate the whole thing. I also had some ice-cream. I have 3 cartons in my freezer still peppermint, burnt almond fudge and apple caramel.

Enough with my food chronicle from yesterday's junk food fest. This morning I ate an orange, half an avocado, some sliced turkey and I think I'll have some of the BBQ chicken I picked up from Walmart when they closed out the deli food. FHE tonight is at Sam's house. I remember how hard it was to find the first time. If it wasn't for the other cars I never would've found it. Pictionary day and me wanting to kick David. Surprise, surprise AND he Bing unbelievably RUDE. Is it any wonder I DON'T want to do a damn thing now? Snide little comments about me with his friends IN FRONT OF ME!!! I REALLY tried that night. I called him later and heard ANOTHER little remark before he actually said he DIDN'T want to DATE me. I JUST MET HIM. YEAH WHO WANTS TO DATE SOMEONE THEY JUST MET???!!! I did want to get to know him better though and what I did know before this was someone I did like very much.

Despite this that made me wish bodily harm to him-somehow we managed to come out of that as friends. AND NOOO it wasn't easy BUT I did get to know him better thanks to being in his fhe group.
After our friendship had been restored we were chatting on Facebook ALL DAY about me acting a certain way. I am honest BUT INSTEAD OF LEAVING IT ALONE, FROM THE MORNING AT WORK TO NIGHT WHEN I AM HOME, (I WORK 10-HOUR DAYS) WE ARE STIIILLL DISCUSSING MY STATE OF STUPIDITY. I FINALLY TELL HIM TO STOP AND LEAVE THE ISSUE ALONE. I avoid him at every opportunity and I am sooo done.

This is good because I am unscathed. Although I know him better it's not enough to really make a difference. This is the first time I deliberately ignore the spirit and I DON'T do what I should because I just don't want to deal with him. YES I am deliberately leaving some stuff out.

Somehow we get past this Drama too and when I have a flat tire he helps me and I am sooo grateful. Our friendship is awesome now thanks to this and I think everything's fine UNTIL he starts tripping. I do care about him now A LOT. I love him. NOOO I'm NOOOT in love with him. That comes with spending time together, A LOT of time together. STILL I do love him AND that is a big deal to me. When he starts tripping I am ticked but after all the crap I've been through with him I'm NOT going to let this eliminate our friendship. I TRY to help he and Mindie with FHE and it is THE ABSOLUTE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. Mindie's still in my fhe group. We had fhe at her house a couple times. I refuse to go to her house EVER again. I am glad we have new leaders.

NOW-David revealed aspects of his character to me I learned through working with him for fhe that are NOT what I am willing to accept EVER. I still love him very much BUT that's never been enough. I have this nice carefully constructed wall I know how to use. Uh huh the spirit tells me to break the wall down... UH NOOO!!! I know it's a pride thing and definitely a self-righteous thing BUT then I'm just called to repentance at church and a bishop's fireside so I'm knocking the damn wall down now and I may not survive this BUT I'm doing it anyway.

I feel better now!!!-Nice therapeutic session for myself!!!