Urban Poly Princess

My friend Katie was talking about this AND I am a shrimp addict especially now that I've been in a jumbo shrimp mood. I didn't get to question Katie about it so I tried to call ALL day-After my sesh I kept trying to decide if I wanted to drive there when I wasn't certain so I drove there and you need an internet coupon for the free shrimp. I'll look to see if I'm too late. Since I was there I tried to get veggies and some sort of meat. The lady asked me if I could wait for her to cook more veggies. I said NOOO. I left and didn't want to go to Walmart because I feel like part of me lives there I go there so much.

I bought spinach, greek yogurt, grated carrots, some of their deli turkey they mark down in the evenings, avocados, eggs, oranges. I also bought some of that super hot Asian soup. I'm rationalizing that the heat gives enough of a thermogenic effect that it doesn't matter as much that the nutrition is probably zilch. I'm eating my cheddar potato hamburger soup that is pretty good 2 days later AND when you are seriously hungry. Amazing how hunger enhances the flavor!!!

I saw Chris Egbert from the ward at Walmart. He went out of his way to thank me for my testimony I bore in January then and he said hi. He asked me if I was buying stuff for my Valentine. I told him no but he had 2 heart candy boxes with him. He said he has 2 boys and that's what that was for. Chris looks good. I am probably choosing myself out of the celestial kingdom. I don't want to date OR marry anyone who is divorced AND OR has children. The fact that the church chooses to place us in the same ward however suggests I should be able to look over that ALTHOUGH I can't help but think if he couldn't make it work with his first wife why would I think he could make it work with me.

Erin is dating Roger who is divorced with several children. She is happy. What the hell is my problem?

Yes I watched the Singles Ward last night with some guy who played a divorced character. BUUUT maybe I am judgmental and will die single because I never meet anyone who meets my standards. OR I'll be an idiot like I was with Colton. I knew we'd never be happy because I'd sit there spending my time wanting him to suddenly develop a testimony and doing everything I can to change him. I knew that but I didn't care because I loved him so much.

Ryan and Robert are pretty stalwart. I'm sooo NOOOT attracted to them however but I do like their testimonies and they have great attitudes.

I already know what I'm supposed to do. Sooo I should have faith and get what I want for the most part BUT I ALSO get to deal with an attitude and being treated like crap when my favorite thing is being treated like a princess. I guess I'm looking for a way I can justify getting out of this but I already know what I have to do. I feel like this is going to physically kill me although I know that's ridiculous. I should be willing to do whatever and have faith that if I follow the spirit everything will work out well. I've already committed to do this. I just don't want to. This is what Pres. Uctdorf said we CAN'T have-a dragging-our-feet complaining-as-we-go attitude. Humility, kindness, patience-why do I feel like my hackles are rising? I need to constantly pray for help with this because as much as I don't want to deal with this I know I have to do that AND that I can handle it or I wouldn't be given this challenge.

I went to the temple early to see if I could talk to the temple president about WORKING AT THE TEMPLE!!! One of his counselors and his wife-President and Sister Barrington were who I spoke with. He took my information and I reiterated that I followed up with EVERYONE, He told me he could sense I didn't feel good about the situation. I told him the more it keeps getting held up the more I feel like I need to work there. I completely blame the secretary. I think she's a B and needs to get over whatever the hell her problem is with me. Sister Barrington asked me if I was married NOOO did I have kids NOOO!!! President Barrington told me he'd find out by Friday. It keeps getting held up by secretary B. I told him who my bishop and stake president are. He said he and his wife are speaking at our stake conference and to come over and say hi to them.