Urban Poly Princess

Weird, intellectually I should feel like crap BECAUSE here I just got through convincing myself of acting on what the spirit tells me-everything I observed supported that UNTIL TODAY when I get a damn curve ball. I just feel like everything's alright and not to worry about it BUT I DO WORRY ABOUT IT. I DON'T WANT TO WASTE MY TIME. BUT even with all that I still feel good about this direction. And this IS what I expected ALTHOUGH I observed a bunch first.

I have to trust this. It doesn't matter if I end up getting hurt and feeling stupid-AS LONG AS I DO MY PART I WILL BE BLESSED REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENS. It doesn't matter BUT it DOES. I'M NOT A DAMN MASOCHIST. I keep praying about this and the answer never changes. I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT LIVING IN MY OWN FANTASY WORLD BUT even if I am this is what I choose.

None of this has to do with the temple BUUUT REALLY wasn't it enough to just let me have a wrenching stake conference today? It is horrible when you sit there thinking all the talks were meant for you. I have NEVER been so grateful for president's day-Read scriptures, listen to Ensign talks AND pray for my sanity!!! I'm glad I know what to do to gain the sweet assurance from the spirit that everything I am doing is how the Lord would have me live. I pray to always be worthy of that insight and precious blessing.