Monday, March 24, 2014

2 Nephi 4

Posted by 2DI4 at 3:51 PM

5 But behold, my sons and my daughters, I cannot go down to my grave save I should leave a ablessing upon you; for behold, I know that if ye are bbrought up in the cway ye should go ye will not depart from it.

15 And upon athese I bwrite the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul cdelighteth in the scriptures, and my heart dpondereththem, and writeth them for the elearning and the profit of my children.

I do write the things of my soul here and while I know it's online and any damn person can read it, it is most convenient for me this way and I actually don't care. If someone is that concerned about what I am thinking at any moment, enough that they will search it out and read it, they can go ahead. 27 And why should I ayield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to btemptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my cpeace and afflict my soul? Why am Idangry because of mine enemy?

 28 Awake, my soul! No longer adroop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the benemy of my soul.
 29 Do not aanger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
 30 Rejoice, O my aheart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the brock of my salvation.
 31 O Lord, wilt thou aredeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of bsin?
 32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my aheart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I maybwalk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
 33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thyarighteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine benemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
 34 O Lord, I have atrusted in thee, and I will btrust in thee forever. I will not put my ctrust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his dtrust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
 35 Yea, I know that God will give aliberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I bask cnot amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the drockof my erighteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.
My absolute favorite chapter in the Book of Mormon was exactly what I needed. I spent any extra time yesterday preparing my lesson. I DID NOT READ MORE SCRIPTURES THAN WHAT WE DISCUSSED IN CHURCH YESTERDAY. I feel sorry for Jon who I know is overwhelmed right now BUT he did decide to take this on AND it is good for him and me to humble myself. I'm not afraid to speak up. That's never been my problem. Esther is alright. Beth ROCKS!!! She is dating Dennis now. I could talk to her for hours and hang out with her because she is intelligent and interesting and has a rock testimony. PERFECT combination to me!!! I love that she used to teach high school English and that she made her class read and discuss Atlas Shrugged. 
I can't wait for conference. This weekend for Ochi's baptism is perfect because Noe is having a potluck at her house for our reunion in August Sunday night. I usually drive back to Logan on Sunday when I'm in Salt Lake or Provo on the weekend. I can't wait to meet Saia's kids and see him and his wife. I can't wait to see how they are settling in Utah so far. I know my Father in Heaven helped me get my real estate license and gave me a job that allowed me to attend all the real estate training I need. It is also flexible enough to allow me to work right now. I am so reluctant to even start because I REALLY hate this place. I feel bad that it hasn't grown on me BUT it hasn't. Whenever I even go to a Maverick in Salt Lake I'm struck by how nice it is OR even a grocery store. 
I'm in the middle of nowhere with crappy restaurants, NOOO stores and some nice people BUT ALSO a lot of stupid racist people who treat me like I'm an idiot because I have black hair. Services are sub-par throughout the valley. NOOO Vietnamese food whatsoever AND crappy Chinese restaurants. Panda is the best thing here. I can't believe we have Mo Bettah Steaks. I know I've enjoyed blessings here. BUT at what cost? 
The one guy I had any semblance of a relationship with was 20 years younger than me, LDS in name ONLY, sexually active AND a student where I work - sooo stupid!!! I was the same age as his dad and older than his mom who had him when she was 15. BUT he was fine, sweet, brilliant and dressed exactly how I wanted him to dress. WOW!!! Stupid. I knew right from the beginning I didn't want him forever. BUUUT I didn't want anyone I met forever. The ONLY guy I want a relationship with now is either married or close to it AND avoiding me. I know I shouldn't be so negative. BUUUT I CAN'T wait to leave!!! STILL I know I need to work the Real Estate thing. It's just annoying. I have to convince people of the wonders the valley holds while I would like nothing better than to leave the valley. Tomorrow I will have exactly one year left!!! 
I should be thrilled my time here is almost done. I was thinking of finishing my temple commitment in September but I don't think I'm going to make it. I am sooo ready to blow this popcorn stand.



 

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