Urban Poly Princess

Today is the day I can eat a free meal. I need that.

I hate not having my Alkalete but I really can't tell the difference.

19 And they have become strong in their perversion; and they are alike brutal, sparing none, neither old nor young; and they delight in everything save that which is good; and the suffering of our women and our children upon all the face of this land doth exceed everything; yea, tongue cannot tell, neither can it be written.

Wickedness never was happiness. I don't remember where that's from but it is very clear to me and difficult for me to get how someone can delight in wickedness. Maybe it isn't so far-fetched. Sometimes when I am angry and impatient I am mean. I never feel good about it after though. I would rather just not deal with someone. I don't like hurting people. That is never fun. That doesn't mean I will allow anyone to mistreat me. I haven't developed my patience as well as I need to develop it. It is a constant battle for me. 

Right now I feel like I need to tell the class AND Spencer his information was wrong in Gospel Principles about the priesthood keys. Bishop is ALSO wrong and Erika should be taught the discussions by the missionaries in her ward who need to provide the additional fellow shipping she needs. 

This will encourage her to attend activities and participate fully in her ward. This is part of the huge reason why this is done. Erika is awesome and I would love to teach her. HOWEVER there are blessings she AND I should receive through doing what we are supposed to do. God and his church are all about order. There are people who live in my ward boundaries I should be fellow shipping. 

Although I have worked hard to remove all trace of him, I STILL miss my friend and wonder where he lives now and if I'll ever see him again. I deleted his contact information on my phone as well as any online evidence he ever existed. Matt had added us both at the same time on LinkedIn and it made me look at his page. I saw his friend on his endorsement section and it ticked me off because he deleted me from his LinkedIn friends. That spurred a deleting frenzy. 

I tried to Google where he lives now but I'm not paying to find that out. I'm sure he lives in Cache Valley since he is still in school and works in the valley. I want him to live in my boundaries because I want to see him again even if it does freak me out. I hope he doesn't live in the other boundaries with all of his many admirers although he does have a couple in my ward too including my pathetic self.

Despite all these stupid feelings that haven't changed, if he lives in the other boundaries he should attend that ward. As much as I want to see him, he doesn't have to be in my ward for that to happen. I still want him in my ward again. I want to see him at least every Sunday although that's probably stupid if nothing is ever going to happen and I'm not interested in just being his friend at all. If we're not going to date exclusively, I don't have any desire to be his friend in any way shape or form. BUT I still miss him. Am I ever going to get over that???!!! I hope so. I miss him because he is brilliant, beautiful AND spiritually SOLID. I don't like the outdoors like he does or like the way he dresses although he does have his moments. I don't think he was ever intentionally cruel although he was unbelievably selfish I don't think he ever saw it that way. 

I only want to see him again because I want us to be together. He is fun and good. He is probably dating someone however and planning his wedding so I should move the hell on. I'm hoping this Sunday word about the new ward will have been revealed to all the wards in Cache Valley. I'm hoping our membership of 70 will grow and that somewhere in there I'll meet someone new who plans to leave this place in a little over a year. OR someone I will want to convince to leave Logan to marry me and raise our family!!!