Urban Poly Princess

I made char siu pork in my crock pot and now I'm making chicken with a can of cream of mushroom soup and cream of chicken soup. I have some hamburger too. I just want to have a bunch of meat I can eat in various meals throughout the week.

It is 4:30 and I'm wide awake after crashing on my couch. It is daylight savings time now so it is actually only 4:16 now or would be if the Spring ahead thing never happened. So I KNEW my ward mission leader had a thing for me AND he's nice BUT yeah so what. He used to date my friend and I think he is an idiot NOT to be dating her now. It always annoys me when people are interested in me and I'm not interested in them ESPECIALLY when we have absolutely NOTHING in common it ticks me off too because why are they interested? It just comes down to how I look. Sometimes I am immediately interested when I first talk to someone BUT this can change once I get to know them better. IT NEVER changes to the positive AFTER an initial dull duh meeting.

I love that a lot of people find me physically attractive BUUUT when people are interested and I can't source that to anything else that just ticks me off. ESPECIALLY when they are sooo lacking physically themselves. JUST ask me out and I have NO PROBLEM refusing you. Somehow he was standing behind me in line at my friend's wedding. I saw my friend he was dating then. She looks fabulous. She is so sweet and she's been losing weight and looking amazing. I don't know what happened I just think he's an idiot.

I REALLY don't want her to think I'm interested in him OR that ANYTHING'S going on because ONLY IN HIS DAMN DREAMS!!! At our last FHE our FHE grand leader is a nice girl who is obsessed with setting people up in the ward. I say set your own self up before trying to help the masses. She passed around a list for people to sign up if they were interested in going out on group dates. I was sitting by a nice girl Marinda who told me I needed to sign up and made me feel bad because I wouldn't so I did. My mission leader told me tonight he saw that I signed up and that he had fun at the last one. Way to guarantee I'll NEVER DO THAT!!! My calling makes it so I HAVE to interact with him but I hope my friend figures that out because I'd hate her to consider me competition. She is awesome and raised in Cache Valley so really perfect for him.

His technique reminds me of that 1 guy in my FHE group it took me so long to figure out had a thing for me. If I had known that earlier there are MANY things I would've done specifically to avoid seeing him AT ALL in the first place.

I remember my friend telling me he will ALWAYS give someone a chance by going out once with them. I am NOT like that and I WILL NOT waste my time if I'm not interested in someone. Actually it's not possible to be instantly interested in someone. I have to be interested in getting to know them better in the first place. The have to be what I want to know on the surface first. I think it's my Poly socialization skills. You just start hanging out with someone specifically to get to know them better so if it goes anywhere fine, if it doesn't you don't need to have anything more to do with them. It'll be so nice when our ward splits and I don't have to look at him. My friend who was dating him is going to be in his ward with the new boundaries. I love that and I hope they get together again.

I am FINE with NOT getting with anyone while I live here. My friend and Rich are the ONLY men I've been interested in since I've lived in this crappy place. I met both of them in my ward so I should hold on to the nice thought that I'll meet someone else BUUUT it's DEFINITELY NOT someone I know now!!!