Urban Poly Princess

Today is the 25th, EXACTLY one year since I finished my MBA meaning I have just 1 more year to work at Stevens-Henager College!!! I can't wait to get out of here. I need to move to Salt Lake City and I need to find a job there. I want to move to DC or California BUT not just yet. I don't want to leave my mother here alone although essentially she is now and has been with me living in what feels like outer darkness. Hahaha!!! I know I'm being dramatic.

I texted Andrew to see if he still wanted to attend conference yesterday and didn't receive any response so I texted him and told him if I don't hear from him today I'm going to assume he doesn't want to go. SUCH the stupid POLY player attitude. I AM NOT DATING HIM NOR DO I WANT TO DO THAT. HIS TESTIMONY IS NOT THERE WHICH IS WHY I WANT TO BE A GOOD FELLOWSHIPPER BUUUT HE IS TRULY TESTING MY RESOLVE!!!

He is asking me questions now so he does seem to want to go. He asked if there were restaurants in the area we could eat at. I said yes. I NEVER treat POLY boys so he better not expect me to do that. ANY Poly guy I am EVER with is going to pick up the tab, ALWAYS. That is how it is and that is how it will ALWAYS B. I have my own money and I don't expect ANYTHING with Andrew BUT the boy needs to be schooled BIGTIME because the way he acted last time was NOOOT cool.

I have to treat him like the less-active member he is. It is just sooo hard to turn it off with him because of how annoyed I was when Alan didn't show up for his discussion with the sisters and I spent all that time arranging splits so they could even do it in the first place, figured out what to serve and then cooked the whole day. There was a purpose there and I STILL feel like I was used JUST so Andrew could figure out what the Poly girl in his ward is like. I am used to Poly boys tripping over themselves to treat me well. THAT was NOT IT. Using missionary work for your own personal gain is probably the worst thing you can do to me.

YES I need to calm down. I'm going to text/invite Justin to go if he wants to too. I'm going to be so ticked if I end up spending time alone with Andrew. Love, compassion, happy, happy, joy, joy, happy, happy, joy. Maybe not. Andrew just asked me if we take pictures there if he can throw gang signs like upside down M's for Mormon Mafia. I told him to go ahead if that would make the experience for him. Andrew told me conference is too "churchy" for him but since I was sweet enough to invite him to go he would. YEAH NOT exactly what happened BUT whatever.

I actually don't want my sweet good new member spending that much time with Andrew. Andrew's membership is social. If his parents weren't LDS, I don't think he'd be a member. Most of his friends are LDS and then he likes sharing the gospel too which is so weird. He gave away Books of Mormon too. Despite that I don't think he has any idea of what the gospel truly is or he wouldn't call it churchy. He would know the purpose of the sacrament and not make the stupid statement he did on his Facebook page. He said he felt the spirit more listening to Bob Marley than he did in church. Many of his friends were supporting his statement. I posted that you get out of it what you put into it. I wish I could invite some guy to go with us that has a rock testimony who WOULDN'T be interested in me or get the wrong idea if I did invite him to come along.

If I was still in contact with my friend I'd ask him. That is one of the things I liked about having him in my ward. I was ALWAYS comfortable asking him for anything because I knew he was capable of helping me WITHOUT expecting anything in return. I made him some dessert once BECAUSE he didn't expect anything. That had nothing to do with how I feel about him which is weird. He probably wasn't comfortable with me always asking him for help BUT I knew I could do it with him WITHOUT suddenly developing an annoying CLINGON. If anything he would avoid me after spending time with me. That is why Rich was the perfect home teacher. I was completely comfortable getting help from him too. He would be perfect although I doubt his fiance would appreciate that. Of course I could've invited her too. I would be fine with that. Spending time with my friend and ANY girl he's dating? OH HELL NO!!!

It'll be o.k. even if I can't figure out who else to invite. I'll have multiple opportunities to share my testimony with him and then he'll hear several testimonies at conference too. The Poly world is so small. One thing I'm NOT going to like is I'm certain I'll see people I know on temple square. I don't want the latest Poly gossip to be about me dating Andrew. He's Hawaiian so he doesn't know the number of people I do. Conference is always a HUGE Poly gathering. I don't want ANYONE thinking I'm dating him. I told Andrew to invite this one white girl in our ward to come since she is his friend. I hope she comes. That'll solve undue speculation. I'm past caring about what people think BUUUT I still don't like being the subject of gossip OR having to explain to my extended family that NOTHING is going on.

They want me to have something going on with someone BUT Andrew's long hair is not going to endear him to ANY of my family and when they find out I was with some guy at conference AND they will, they will also find out he has a daughter which will be another reason why they won't like him. Actually I don't think most people in Salt Lake know him at all so maybe they will find out NOTHING. The long hair though. NOOOT good for my conservative extreme-LDS relatives.