Urban Poly Princess

I'm taking out my contacts then sleeping!!! I'm going to Alisa's Zumba class every day I'm here. It's at 6am. I am hoping it inspires me to get motivated again. Having Laie come over all the time was NOT good for that at ALL. I need to figure out where to plug in my phone and set the alarm.

I'm exhausted. The big girls aren't going to get here until later. There is no way my niece finishes work at 11pm at the mall. I think she is being sneaky with her sister.

2 Nephi 19
1 Nevertheless, the dimness shall not be such as was in her vexation, when at first he lightly afflicted the bland of Zebulun, and the land of Naphtali, and afterwards did more grievously afflict by the way of the Red Sea beyond Jordan in Galilee of the nations.

2 The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light; they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.
3 Thou hast multiplied the nation, and increased the joy—they joy before thee according to the joy in harvest, and as men rejoice when they divide the spoil.
4 For thou hast broken the yoke of his burden, and the staff of his shoulder, the rod of his oppressor.
5 For every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood; but this shall be with burning and fuel of fire.
6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder; and his name shall be called, Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

7 Of the increase of government and peace there is no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth, even forever. The zeal of the Lord of Hosts will perform this.
8 The Lord sent his word unto Jacob and it hath lighted upon Israel.
9 And all the people shall know, even Ephraim and the inhabitants of Samaria, that say in the pride and stoutness of heart:
10 The bricks are fallen down, but we will build with hewn stones; the sycamores are cut down, but we will change them into cedars.
11 Therefore the Lord shall set up the adversaries of Rezin against him, and join his enemies together;
12 The Syrians before and the Philistines behind; and they shall devour Israel with open mouth. For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.

13 For the people turneth not unto him that smiteth them, neither do they seek the Lord of Hosts.
14 Therefore will the Lord cut off from Israel head and tail, branch and rush in one day.
15 The ancient, he is the head; and the prophet that teacheth lies, he is the tail.
16 For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are bled of them are destroyed.
17 Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows; for every one of them is a hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly. For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.

I love that we have returned to simple Isaiah that lets me just enjoy his beautiful writing with the message. It's nice NOT to have to try to just figure out what he's saying.

The Hope of God's Light - President Dieter Uctdorf
Nevertheless, spiritual light rarely comes to those who merely sit in darkness waiting for someone to flip a switch. It takes an act of faith to open our eyes to the Light of Christ.
Isn’t it wonderful to know that we don’t have to be perfect to experience the blessings and gifts of our Heavenly Father? We don’t have to wait to cross the finish line to receive God’s blessings. In fact, the heavens begin to part and the blessings of heaven begin to distill upon us with the very first steps we take toward the light.
Lift up your soul in prayer and explain to your Heavenly Father what you are feeling. Acknowledge your shortcomings. Pour out your heart and express your gratitude. Let Him know of the trials you are facing. Plead with Him in Christ’s name for strength and support. Ask that your ears may be opened, that you may hear His voice. Ask that your eyes may be opened, that you may see His light.

Your Heavenly Father knows that you will make mistakes. He knows that you will stumble—perhaps many times. This saddens Him, but He loves you. He does not wish to break your spirit. On the contrary, He desires that you rise up and become the person you were designed to be.

To that end, He sent His Son to this earth to illuminate the way and show us how to safely cross the stumbling blocks placed in our path. He has given us the gospel, which teaches the way of the disciple. It teaches us the things we must know, do, and be to walk in His light, following in the footsteps of His Beloved Son, our Savior.

Yes, from time to time our lives may seem to be touched by, or even wrapped in, darkness. Sometimes the night that surrounds us will appear oppressive, disheartening, and frightening.

As you walk toward the hope of God’s light, you will discover the compassion, love, and goodness of a loving Heavenly Father, “in [whom there] is no darkness at all.” Of this I testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

When this talk was given it touched me the most. I was feeling dark because I had been accused of plagiarism. I wanted to rip that Business dean. Those feelings are ugly and NOT what a disciple of Christ should EVER feel. This talk struck a chord I needed to feel at the time. I am so grateful for the spirit that leads us to do what we should do.

I was stressed out ALL NIGHT. I didn't really want to do what I thought I should. USUALLY the spirit leads me to do things I don't want to do. I usually need to dig down deep within myself, psyche myself out and then execute. I wanted to finish this talk first BUT the spirit is actually giving me a break this time!!! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I am supposed to do with my friend!!! I LOOOVE this guidance!!! It's not often that I'm led this way BUT THIS IS FABULOUS!!! I may not have done what I could've Sunday BUT I DID send him a text wishing him well and telling him I'd miss him. THAT IS ENOUGH!!! It would've been better in person BUT what I did was sufficient after the moment had come and gone without my taking any action!!! I feel so much better. I thought I would have to be filled with anxiety until I did what I thought I should BUT now I don't need to do anything!!! My day has instantly become better. It is like someone flipped a light-switch on.

I hope my friend had a fantastic first day. I need to give my idea a shot. I just hope it makes the difference. Why do I have to do this. I know it doesn't really matter. What matters is what happens next or doesn't. I need to try. I know that. This just doesn't seem fair. There are many things I don't like about this. The alternative however is NOT an option. If this doesn't work I can't do anything. I won't be blessed unless I do this. If I don't get the reaction I want it'll be o.k. because then I would've done EVERYTHING in my power and it won't be my fault for standing still.

We played some game with a ball with a tail and then "we" played Bocci ball. I didn't really try although I do need to get ready for my conference and for driving to Provo tomorrow. I HAAATE driving although I can't wait to see my beautiful nieces and nephews. I love them so much and they are so cute.

I thought I got rid of my old FHE member that has a thing for me BUT NOOO!!! I thought he was in a different group because I haven't seen him lately BUT no such luck. He does know Ryan however and he told me Ryan used to be a stake missionary. I've seen Ryan before this FHE member said his name is Ryan Saunders. Somehow he needs to get active again. I'm not sure exactly how that is going to happen. He seems to have a good relationship with several people in the ward. It shouldn't be too difficult to fellowship him again. He needs good home teachers. Another Ryan Schmidt was his home teacher until he got married. He said he doesn't have home teachers now but he's not against it.

I am glad I went to FHE although I ALWAYS have to force myself to go to these things. I know it's what my father in heaven would have me do. It's so nice NOT to have my uncle come over to hang out. I DON'T want to hang out with him OR serve him. I need to do some laundry and I can wash my dishes now!!! What I really want to do is go put some gas in my car AND get a huge diet Dr. Pepper.

I had an orthodontist appointment today. This should've been my LAST retainer BUT I had to get ANOTHER impression. It's not that big a deal. My next appointment is on Wednesday May 8th. THAT should be my last retainer, HOPEFULLY. I'm sick of it BUT actually it hasn't been that bad. My teeth are sensitive at the beginning but then after about a week they feel fine. I can tell where my teeth have moved. They just haven't moved enough. That means in about a month I'll be done. Then I get to go to my dentist and at the end of that I'll figure out how much money is left in my flex spending account and maybe buy some new glasses. It's time for me to get some colored contacts again. Blue eyes are fun.

2 Nephi 18
9 Associate yourselves, O ye people, and ye shall be broken in pieces; and give ear all ye of far countries; gird yourselves, and ye shall be broken in pieces; gird yourselves, and ye shall be broken in pieces.

10 Take counsel together, and it shall come to naught; speak the word, and it shall not stand; for God is with us.

Futility, any action taken doesn't seem to make a difference. Isaiah continues to write beautifully but the confusion of the previous chapter continues with this one. I have an idea of what it is saying but the references are unfamiliar.

We Are One - Henry B. Eyring
I pray that wherever we are and whatever duties we have in the priesthood of God, we will be united in the cause to bring the gospel to all the world and that we will encourage people we love to be cleansed from sin and to be happy with us in the kingdom of God. In the name of Jesus Christ, whose Church this is, amen.


This talk was filled with examples of missionary work. I love that the church has strengthened its commitment to this great work. It is awesome. I feel so fortunate to live at a time when this work is experiencing a resurgence, a commitment to growing the church and sharing with others to prepare for the coming of our Lord!!! I'd love to be a stake missionary. I've never had that calling.

Come, All Ye Sons of God - Thomas S. Monson
The holy scriptures contain no proclamation more relevant, no responsibility more binding, no instruction more direct than the injunction given by the resurrected Lord as He appeared in Galilee to the eleven disciples. Said He:

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.”
This divine command, coupled with its glorious promise, is our watchword today as it was in the meridian of time. Missionary work is an identifying feature of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Always has it been; ever shall it be. As the Prophet Joseph Smith declared, “After all that has been said, the greatest and most important duty is to preach the Gospel.”
May I suggest a formula that will ensure our success: first, search the scriptures with diligence; second, plan your life with purpose (and, I might add, plan your life regardless of your age); third, teach the truth with testimony; and fourth, serve the Lord with love.
“But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God."
Brethren, whatever your age, whatever your circumstance, I admonish you to plan your life with purpose.

I looove that the prophet ended priesthood session with a talk COMPLETELY on missionary work that followed President Eyring's talk also COMPLETELY on missionary work.
I find it interesting that the day AND day after I go on splits with the sisters and feel a resurgence of love for missionary work that the talks I read are about this. Coincidence? I think NOT!!!
I'm out of dishwashing liquid. I need to buy some after work. I also need to wash a couple loads of laundry before I leave tomorrow to Provo. I better let Alisa know I'll be there since George never does.

I looove missionary work!!! There is NOTHING I love more. My husband better plan to be a mission president. I can't wait to help inspire ALL missionaries. I took the Book of Mormon first for the challenge to give. I was thinking about my friend Katie who is an adjunct teacher here. I sometimes wonder and think IF only people would read and study the Book of Mormon and pray about it they'd KNOW and love it like I do BUUUT unfortunately not ALL members love it OR study it like they can and should. We know the happiness and joy that comes from doing this BUT we DON'T always take advantage of this. I related a lot to Devin's talk yesterday. I love how he said we need to be reckless in how we follow the spirit or listen to it. I tried yesterday BUT I wasn't reckless like I could've been. I can be too cautious.

2 Nephi 17
3 Then said the Lord unto Isaiah: Go forth now to meet Ahaz, thou and Shearjashub thy son, at the end of the conduit of the upper pool in the highway of the fuller’s field;

4 And say unto him: Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be faint-hearted for the two tails of these smoking firebrands, for the fierce anger of Rezin with Syria, and of the son of Remaliah.

Now Isaiah is getting to be like reading my friend's thesis. Many references here to things I don't know anything about. The two tails of smoking firebrands. Now I'm wondering about dragons that are represented a lot in Chinese culture but also in English and Irish lore. A lot of legend and myth suggest these are real although I don't think anyone's ever uncovered dragon skeletons. Animal Planet tries to answer that question and leans toward these being real BUT I don't really know. The prevalence of the myth could also be used to explain Santa or the Easter Bunny. OR Isaiah could simply  be referencing mythological creatures. The dragon myth is old. It is portrayed in Chinese cultures. What about Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck? Dragons could've just been mythological entertainment even with the tradition-traditional entertainment. I remember a history class I had once in high school someone asked what if the hiroglyphics were just graffiti.

It's like being an English major. We spent all our time studying authors and their lives to uncover the deeper meaning of their poetry and novels. I always thought, we could be completely off in our conclusions. But then some scholars say it doesn't matter what the author intended if we can still discover themes and symbolism that make sense and illuminate or deepen our understanding of the work, the author and the time and place they lived in.

I know it's not forever BUT it freaking feels that way. I have an idea of what I can do BUT that is something he gets to decide. I respect him AND I don't want him to think I don't BUT I can't think of anything else.

NO ONE in RS would agree to go on splits tonight with the sister missionaries so I figured I'd do it. I've only gone on splits once since my mission and I was VERY judgmental about how the sisters spent their time AND really just about EVERYTHING they did. I decided NOT to do that tonight ALTHOUGH I couldn't help myself a couple times. They are extremely quiet and I'm NOT.

We went and visited this less-active member Ryan. He lives right across the street from the church. I asked him if he read the Book of Mormon. He nodded. He wouldn't speak. I asked him if he had home teachers. He doesn't BUT he REALLY needs them. He works at Fresh Marketplace and he's done that for 11 years. I LOOOVE missionary work. Fellowshipping the opposite sex when you're single is tricky. I want his home teachers to make contact with him. He lives with his parents. His mother has had lung cancer for the past 3 years.

I nabbed someone checking me out today that was unexpected. INTERESTING, NOT my type BUT spiritually solid. EXTREMELY outdoorsy and very smooth socially. He has dated A LOT and women usually dig him a lot. JUST NOT this woman. He travels widely and has adventures all over the place. Maybe I'm just imagining it. We have NOTHING besides our testimonies in common.

I knew my ward was into the outdoors BUT REALLY???!!! Jodie invited people to a Moon-watching grill party at the Hyrum State Park. There were MANY people from my ward who attended. I just thought what the hell am I doing here. I went because Jodie is sweet and I wanted to help with the turnout BUT I didn't need to do that because it was WELL-ATTENDED. It started at 7:30, I got there at 8 and it was just Jodie and Sarah Slater. I thought I was late. NOOO I wasn't. There was no one there I wanted to talk to so I made small talk then sat around a little bit and LEFT at 9:30pm. There were probably about 25 people there when I left. 

I've had a great week of eating stuff at home. The only time I ate out was last night and that was for a sweet friend who is leaving to Virginia. I'm glad the people who showed up did. Carline, Diantha, Jonni, Nikki, Jodi, Me, Erin, Roger, Jen and Melissa made 10 which was EXACTLY what I made the reservation for. Less than a fourth of what I invited BUT that is typical. Lauresa really wanted to make it but she had to work late.

I am sooo NOT impressed with HuHot Mongolian Grill. There are NO Asian restaurants I'm impressed with in Logan. Takara is alright as I'm sure Kabuki is awesome BUT they are both too expensive to be worth it. Salt Lake City has Little World, Ho Ho Gourmet, Hong Kong Tea House and the Golden something, I just know how to get there. It also has my favorite Thai restaurant Sawadee AND my favorite non-buffet sushi place Tokai Sushi 4 U in Sugarhouse. My favorite Indian place is in Sandy - Punjab something or other.

Logan restaurants I actually like include Mo Bettah Steaks, Elements, Cafe Sabor, Tandoori Oven AND yes it looks like a diner from the 50s BUT their pies and food are good quality... Angie's. Takara will fill my sushi cravings when I'm too lazy to make it myself but then I always feel bad for spending that amount of money on when I can make it myself at home. That's why the all-you-can-eat sushi places feel like a good deal. Coppermill has just mediocre food. If I could take Angie's food and stick it in Coppermilll's atmosphere it would be a very good thing. I also want to check out the Bluebird and Le Nonne because I haven't yet. Cavenaughs???!!! NOOO!!! Oh yeah I need to eat at Hermes Inn for breakfast at least once.

My requirement for a good restaurant? They need to cook better than me!!! I do like the Thai peanut sauce I had last night at the HuHot Grill AND the Thai noodles were awesome too. I'm going to learn to use both. I'm going to look for those noodles and look online for that sauce. I know there was coconut milk in it. I'm just not sure what else was in there.

2 Nephi 16

I have my wok AND I make Asian food on a regular basis. I often eat stir fry noodles or rice with my own sauces. The meat was frozen. My stir fry is better AND it certainly doesn't cost me 16.99 which is what it cost with drinks. Throw in the $4 tip and I spent 42 dollars. Jonni gave me $4 to help pay for Melissa. That was sweet of her. Sooo $38 that was good for a farewell dinner for an awesome secretary. I'm sure everyone else doesn't eat Asian food ALL the time like me. I did want to try it. I just know I'm not going back there. Carline's been there 5x which makes me question her Asian taste. She must not cook AT ALL. Sorry Mongolian grill!!! I thought they'd have some killer BBQ, NOOO JUST stir fry and NOT very good stir fry.

I'm happy with the turnout although Roger was the ONLY guy who showed up. I did eventually make an appearance at our ward game night and play 1 round of encore before I decided to leave when they changed the game and I didn't feel like playing it. I had to decide if I'd rather play a game or come home and watch Dr. Jin. Guess what won???!!!

Last night was even better because Laie DIDN'T come over!!! It felt so nice to lie down on my OWN loveseat. He was too comfortable in my house. I thought I liked that, NOOO I didn't. I NEVER laid down if he was here. I WAS NOT comfortable in my own home when he visited. He could relax while I WOULD NOT!!!

The last time he was here I tried to take my contacts out and fall asleep with him downstairs and I COULDN'T that's when I had enough courage, thanks to more prayers, to tell him I agreed with my family and that I don't think he'd like that if one of his cousins did that to his daughter. My cousin Taia asked me what he said when I told him that. I told her he didn't say anything. She said he was probably embarrassed.

If that's what it took to get him to stop coming over here by himself, embarrassment was a necessary thing. NONE of my other Tongan male cousins would EVER try to set me up either. That's what Tongan aunts do a lot of NOT Tongan male relatives. You don't even hold hands in front of your Tongan male relatives. It's all about respect.

The only people I want that comfortable around me are my brother and dad. My husband will be fine too AFTER we're married.

2 Nephi 15

I decided that I AM going to tell my extended family in Salt Lake City about Laie and ask them what more I should do. I'm talking to my female first cousins the first chance I get. I want to have the proper cultural stuff down WITHOUT sparking angry annoyed male cousins who will be VERY BLUNT and have no problem being rude.

I was thinking about my male first cousins. I was remembering a family discussion we had because my friend Tom Brown a Tongan boy raised in Salt Lake City even though he has a VERY white name. He laid down on the carpeted floor when we were playing cards in the family room at my aunt's house. There were maybe 4 guys and my cousins and I. My aunt, my dad and my uncle's sisters were in the main room seperated from the family room by a screen door and glass walls.

We NEVER heard the end of that and about how disrespectful Tom had been for lying down. I didn't think Tom did anything wrong and I still don't think he did BUT that was a major Tongan faux pas. They all talked about how he wasn't taught well at home.

My uncle lies down on my loveseat ALL the time and watches TV. I don't have cable so I have to find him stuff to watch online. Half of my male first cousins will NOT watch TV with me because if any romantic scenes come up it is EXTREMELY rude culture-wise. It is the half that is more traditional. Laie is straight-up traditional, over 50 with 8 kids with his current wife and two kids from women he never married BUT he sure doesn't act traditional. The money thing would NEVER happen with ANY of my close relatives.

Since I live by myself ALL of these things SHOULD NOT be happening AT ALL. 

Trying to respect all this cultural crap when I'm not sure exactly what should be happening is tiring. I'm calling my cousin Taia who should be able to tell me if she's even home.

I just talked to my cousin Taia who told me it is common sense and that Laie shouldn't be coming over to my house since I'm single AND I need to work early in the morning. She told me it isn't even a cultural thing and that he should know better than to do that in the first place. I'm glad I talked to Laie AND my cousin Taia. Last night was the LAST NIGHT. 

2 Nephi 14
2 In that day shall the branch of the Lord be beautiful and glorious; the fruit of the earth excellent and comely to them that are escaped of Israel.

3 And it shall come to pass, they that are left in Zion and remain in Jerusalem shall be called holy, every one that is written among the living in Jerusalem—
4 When the Lord shall have washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion, and shall have purged the blood of Jerusalem from the midst thereof by the spirit of judgment and by the spirit of burning.
This is an extremely short chapter. Isaiah continues to use his beautiful writing filled with specific images I like washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion and purged the blood of Jerusalem - powerful words that evoke powerful images.

The Power of the Priesthood in the Boy - Tad R. Callister
He said he had always felt that the reason his mother did not get relief from the bishop’s blessing was not because the Lord failed to honor the bishop’s blessing but because the Lord had reserved this blessing for a boy, to teach him a lesson that the priesthood in the boy is just as powerful as the priesthood in the man when exercised in righteousness.
But you leaders can give them a greater vision—the Lord’s vision. And why is vision so critical? Because with increased vision comes increased motivation.

Inherent in every calling in this Church is the right to receive revelation.
A wise leader will teach the deacons quorum president those principles that will be helpful in obtaining revelation.

Sometimes I wish the Lord would tell me EXACTLY what to do all the time BUT he did give me a brain and I do like figuring things out myself. I just REALLY don't know what to do about my friend. Free agency is something sacred that I value VERY much. I NEVER want him to do anything he doesn't want to do. I HAAATE how many girls are his friends. I HAAATE that I am just one of MANY. I know his internship is important and is a great opportunity for him BUT I HAAATE that this is his last Sunday for awhile!!! I know I'm going to miss him which is very stupid BUT I did at Christmas and for Spring break and each of those was less than 3 weeks. I HAAATE that the spirit always directs me there WITHOUT a clear idea of EXACTLY what I'm supposed to do all the time. I try to do what I can but sometimes, like NOW, I don't have a clue.

I fell asleep with my contacts in when the doorbell rang. It was Laie and I was ticked AND tired because he woke me up. I told him my family doesn't like him coming over and that he needs to bring someone with him if he visits me again. He wanted to know who my family was probably because he's scared my uncle with tell him off. I don't want it to go there. I told him he could watch TV because I was going to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep so I came downstairs. I told him I agreed with his family and if one of his cousins kept visiting his daughter if she lived alone, he wouldn't like it either. I kept praying for help in my head and it was surprisingly easy to talk to him about this. It also probably has something to do with the fact that I AM SICK OF HAVING HIM COME OVER ALL THE DAMN TIME. If I'm hungry I have to cook for him. I didn't mind at first when I thought it was once in awhile BUT this has gotten ridiculous. If he comes over by himself EVER again, I'm not letting him in AND I'll go outside to talk to him by the door. He and his family are very nice and they have NEVER been inappropriate HOWEVER it was more than time for this to END!!!

I just told my mom. She is VERY happy I did this. I AM very happy I did this. Why all these challenges???!!! I thought my friend was ridiculous when he told me he didn't want to be in my apartment alone BUT I REALLY like that characteristic. It is wise.

I was the only one there. It was nice and EMPTY!!! That means it was done quickly!!! My car was waiting for me with the AC and the radio on. It was parked but running. I feel so much better about driving my car ANYWHERE now. I am NOT looking forward to the 1 trip to Provo and 3 trips to SLC I have to make next month. I'm not leaving the Dairyland in June. In July I want to LEAVE the Dairyland. ESPECIALLY Pioneer Day. The Pioneer celebration in Logan SUCKS!!! For the 4th maybe I'll visit George and his family in Provo OR my cousins in West Jordan.

August I'm NOT going ANYWHERE and I still want to go to Hawaii in September if I can find a good deal on a ticket.

I'm going to get my oil changed with that 31.95 coupon at Jack's Tire & Oil during lunchtime. I decided to drive to Provo since I'll be paid or reimbursed for miles anyway. I'm going to have to hang out with my mother too sometime next month. Either mother's Day or her birthday. 3X Driving to SLC is NOT cool although she is getting older AND I should spend time with her. George posted a recent picture of he Alisa and her friends at dinner. He is letting his beard grow. He looks like a terrorist. I don't like that. I want him to work for the church asap and SHAVE!!! I'm not sure what inspired this look. I know I don't like it at all. I have to say it nicely. My cousin Noke who is working in Japan now is rocking a beard. I told him he looks like a terrorist on Facebook. His wife liked that comment.

I wish my dad's brother in Provo would tell him to shave. My dad would be rude about it but he'd shave quickly. I should encourage him to work in the temple again. The last time I tried to change my brother's look was in high school. I kept trying to get him to dress preppy and he was NOT having it. I'd buy him clothes and try to get him to wear them. He'd tell me I was trying to make him look gay. NOOO I was NOT although gay men dress well. I want him to lose the beard. I don't think it looks professional.

2 Nephi 12
16 Moreover, the Lord saith: Because the daughters of Zion are ahaughty, and bwalk with stretched-forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet—


My mother used to love bringing up these HARSH scriptures cautioning the daughters of Zion. I think we should ALL look our best ALL the time. I think it is wrong if that is ALL someone is concerned about. I don't have the Molly Mormon look and I NEVER had it even when I was a missionary. Just like we should take good care of our finances we should ALSO take care of our bodies. We need to be modest BUT we don't have to look  bad. People can also act strange to people who do look good all the time. It works both ways. I don't like people assuming things about me. I don't treat people badly who DON'T dress a certain way OR don't wear makeup. I shouldn't be treated badly just because I love makeup and clothes. Perspective is what's important.

The Newton library director wrote under one of my pictures. Funny... you don't look like a librarian. How the hell is a librarian supposed to look? I just didn't respond to her comment.

Robert D. Hales - Stand Strong in Holy Places
In the temple we are prepared to and promise to live the law of consecration. Able young men begin to live this law by seeking a mission call—giving a tithing of the first years of their lives in the full-time service of the Lord. That sacrifice strengthens them to go forward to the highest covenant in life—for many, it will be to be sealed in the temple and begin an eternal family.

In addition, use your agency to develop yourself personally. As you discover your gifts and talents, remember that parents and mentors may assist you, but you must let the Spirit guide you. Choose and act for yourself. Be motivated from within. Make a plan for your life, including education or vocational training. Explore interests and skills. Work and become self-reliant. Set goals, overcome mistakes, gain experience, and finish what you begin.

Along the way, be sure to participate in family, quorum, class, and combined Mutual activities. Enjoy wholesome fun together. Through these experiences you will come to respect and appreciate one another’s spiritual gifts and the eternal, complementary natures of the sons and daughters of God.
I couldn't help it I HAD to call my brother about his beard. I asked him when he started looking like a terrorist. He started laughing and he told me he's never had a beard before. I told him I want him to work for the church so he shaves it off. Then he told me you can enter the temple with a beard but you can't work there with one. So I told him to go and work at the temple again. ALTHOUGH I did tell him to go see my mother before he shaves it off and NOT to shave it before I see him either.

I wish the night was over 8 minutes to go before I can leave. I'm making me a bowl of saimin then I'm sleeping. This day is catching up with me. Although I didn't "WORK" all day I have been busy ALL DAY. I don't like that I'm here this late. I want to be at home. Some spicy soup is just what I need right now. I feel like I could get sick just because. I need to buy some cilantro too. I looove this gospel so very much. I am grateful for the strength I've been given to get through this day. I am so grateful for a car that works right now.

I can't believe I got through that.

BUUUT I feel too HAPPY to feel too bad. I LOOOVE that my car is fixed! I feel like I should celebrate somehow. Instead I'm working until 9:30 since Judy worked for me earlier today when I was getting money, buying a starter, waiting for it to be installed!!! Life feels REALLY good!!!

I want to get my oil changed. I found a coupon online for Jack's Tire & Oil that is just 31.95 for lube, oil and filter. I don't have to look for a ride now that I have my car running!!! I invited my friend to Melissa's farewell dinner at HuHot Friday. I hope he comes because he wants to come. I'm glad a bunch have already confirmed. I hope the turnout is awesome!!! I'm going to miss my Relief Society activity tonight because I had to trade my day hours with Judy BUT it's a small price to have to pay to NOT walk home!!! I never did have to walk home since Laie gave me a ride home yesterday.

I have a huge pot of rice at home and I'm trying to think of what to cook with it. I bought a big container of sesame seeds that'll be perfect for making that Korean dish. Chop chae or Jap chae... Whatever-I like the way it tastes. If I don't drive to Provo I'll save money, BUT I won't have my car to leave if I want to leave AND I'll have to find a ride to George's house. I hate that feeling. I like being able to leave when I want to leave.

I saw my uncle. His entire family is here at school waiting for Hene to get out of work at Walmart and Shelly's doing homework too. I like that a lot better. I told him NOT to set me up and he told me he likes this guy and that he's LDS. I told him he can marry him then.

So the Tongan student gave me a ride to the "loan shark" I told him. I took out 300 since I was scared I'd need a new battery, what Big O originally told me. I'm glad I listened to Chris who told me NOT to buy a battery!!! Just in case I wanted enough. He drove me to my bank drive-through so I could cash my check THEN he dropped me off at O'Reiley's where I bought my starter. Chris took less than 30 minutes to change the starter. 430 vs. 149. I saved 281.00!!! I'm so grateful for the help I received.

It started right up!!! I went to Cafe Rio's taco Tuesdays. It was packed. It was alright. MEH!!! NOT doing that again. Too much meat. I got one of each taco. The pork was the best. I'm working tonight since I got my assistant to work early for me today. A small price to pay however. I have A LOT of groceries now. I will pay my electric bill myself!!! I was able to buy a stamp from the receptionist yesterday and pay my bill. Life is sooo good!!!

I felt awesome this morning because I figured out a way to pay for the part. This has been a very good day. After sooo many sucky carless ones, it is LOVELY!!!

I wore my tennis shoes to walk to work. WOW!!! What a difference. Yesterday I wore my 3-inch wedges. They were comfortable BUT I had to watch where I stepped all the time. NOT with the tennis shoes. I carried my short low-heeled boots with me. Now I'm at work and they are on my feet.

My brother called me to see how I was doing and if I figured something out. I told him my plan and he was really happy I figured out a way to deal with this. He has a monster tax bill. I told him I'd be at his house next week Wednesday and Thursday nights for ULA conference.

I prayed for help to get all this stuff done today AND Heavenly Father is helping me! The ONLY Tongan student here is a guy who just got off his mission AND has a fiance who I think is his high school girlfriend. I asked him if he can take me to get my loan at this scuzzy place AND then to buy my starter. I told him I'd buy him lunch at Mo Bettah Steaks if he did. He agreed!!!

It is so EASY for me to ask Poly boys for help. They are trained to help their sisters, cousins, aunts WHENEVER they are asked. I asked my friend to let me know if he could help me run a couple errands BUT although it would be nice if he and ALL people lived their lives just to serve me, I know that isn't reality and I told him not to worry if he couldn't that I'd figure something out AND I did!!! I am loooving how this turned out!!! I just feel sooo much better.

2 Nephi 12
10 O ye wicked ones, enter into the rock, and hide thee in the dust, for the fear of the Lord and the glory of his majesty shall smite thee.

11 And it shall come to pass that the lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.
12 For the day of the Lord of Hosts soon cometh upon all nations, yea, upon every one; yea, upon the proud and lofty, and upon every one who is lifted up, and he shall be brought low.
13 Yea, and the day of the Lord shall come upon all the cedars of Lebanon, for they are high and lifted up; and upon all the oaks of Bashan;
17 And the loftiness of man shall be bowed down, and the haughtiness of men shall be made low; and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.
Isaiah is such a beautiful writer. He uses details and images that make everything seem so lifelike. The written word can be so great but today competes with video and audio. I feel so blessed to live at a time when so many different forms of media exist.

Catch the Wave - Russell M. Nelson
Now an unprecedented wave of enthusiasm for missionary work is sweeping the entire earth. Since President Monson’s historic announcement last October, thousands of elders, sisters, and couples have been called, and many more are preparing.
Young men and women, your education is ever important—to us, to you, and to God. Where feasible, if you wish to attend a college or university after your mission, we encourage you to apply to your institution of choice before beginning your mission.
You adults, catch the wave with help for the spiritual, physical, and financial preparation of future missionaries. Pinching pennies for piggy banks becomes part of your practice.
This wave of truth and righteousness is wondrous! It is not man-made! It comes from the Lord, who said, “I will hasten my work in its time.”
I looove this!!! I'm grateful I am able to meet many people even in Logan who are not enjoying the blessings they could enjoy through coming to Christ by being baptized as a member of his church, of his kingdom!!!

I am feeling FABULOUS!!!

Yes I'm going to do it AGAIN. They called me today and I asked them NOT to call me again BUUUT I NEEED them NOW!!! I'm ONLY getting enough to cover the starter. This is what came to mind WHEN I prayed about this. I feel like although I can walk, it just isn't safe. I think I'll call Judy in asap and see if she is willing to work during the day for me. Hopefully when I work for her at night my car will be working again. Chris is in a relationship now so I'm not worried about him getting all clingy and annoying.

I am sooo grateful to him for helping me with this. I know what I need to do now.

So I was stressing out over my car AGAIN!!! I am so grateful Chris offered to change my starter. I'm sure I ticked off my family by asking for money AGAIN!!! BUT I don't want to leave my car at Big O any longer. One of these scuzzy loan places calls me ALL the time to take a loan. Today they annoyed me and I asked them NOT to call me anymore. I AM going to make a loan with them for just the price of the starter and pay that damn thing off asap!!! While I'm willing to walk, I don't think it's safe.

I am sooo glad I went to fhe tonight. I was NOT feeling like attending because I had to walk over there but I did anyway. VERY GOOD!!! because I just listened to my uncle's messages and he was trying to set me up tonight with a professional rugby player from Japan. That doesn't make him a bad person HOWEVER one of my friends from Tonga-Edith Mose fell for a professional rugby player who was a "player" and full of crap. She ended up having a son with him, being a single mom and THEN discovered this guy was married. She is Danish/Tongan. Tongan athletes with money tend to want someone half Tongan because they are usually pretty. The ultimate Trophy wife. If he just happens to be apostle material AND brilliant plus fine perhaps BUUUT I don't know of any professional Tongan rugby players who are LDS let alone ACTIVE lds. Money is nice BUT if that's all I wanted I wouldn't still be single. I DON'T know of any RMs however. I'm sure stereotyping is bad BUUUT I know what rugby players tend to be like. They have money and that is nice BUUUT they typically have A LOT of women throwing themselves at them. This gives them an attitude. My friend has an attitude BUT he's for real. Players know ALL the right things to say AND do AND they will treat you like gold BUT it's ONLY to get what they want which isn't usually to get to know you on a deeper level.

I'm glad instead I spent time with nice LDS boys who attend FHE because they know they are setting a  pattern for the rest of their lives. MUUUCH better. I had fun. My friend's last Sunday is NEXT Sunday. I hope he enjoys his internship and meeting new people BUT I will miss him.

Yeah I spent money on 2 weeks worth of groceries because I resigned myself to NOT having a car for 2 weeks. It was raining after work today. If I knew someone would offer to change my starter I wouldn't have bought my groceries and eaten ramen noodles instead for 2 weeks. My uncle Laie was there with his family waiting for Shelly to get out of class. I asked him to give me a ride home. So much for me having my little talk with him. IT WAS RAINING!!! FHE is outside BUT it was raining. I know I should go to FHE. If I can walk to work I can walk there.

I just want to be safe. I don't think I have been. I know the church standards about riding anywhere with ANYONE 2. Am I just going to keep screwing this up because it's difficult for me to do otherwise???!!!

I didn't want to walk in the rain and I didn't take an umbrella with me. I'M TRYING although it doesn't seem that way when I review it on here.

I posted that I was looking for a ride to Brigham City-Provo and I have librarian friends who live here that are going to ULA who answered-AND I know them all thanks to CVLA!!! I don't know why I was making this so complicated!!! Find a Librarian who is going to the morning sessions Wednesday, find someone to ride back to the Dairyland with at the end. I feel MUUUCH better!!!

I'm pretty sure this Logan public librarian Karen will give me a ride there. She's riding there with Robert the director and Jason a librarian I went to Emporia with. If that doesn't work my friends Joseph and Shawn are driving up that night. My USU librarian friend Pamela may also drive there and I can ride with her too.

Why was I making everything so complicated? This'll work just fine!!!

Not bad at ALL although I am using my assistant's computer because the computer people ran a scan on my archaic computer. The message lists 648 threats on there. While most of these are usually ads, there are other things that get on there too. What an annoying mess!!! I can't check in any books and I have to manually write the names of the students and barcodes of EVERY book checked out. It is the start of a new module which makes that especially annoying.

I was thinking about how I manage my finances and how stupid I've been. I can make my account negative 800.00 BUT instead of getting my account positive, I've just continually used that for whatever. If I used that credit for EMERGENCIES like it's intended to be, I could have paid for this damn car. I'm putting myself on a financial diet. I buy A LOT of stuff I don't need AND I eat out a lot even though I have cut down on that. You can still do damage eating out at fast food places. I'm going to write down EVERY penny I spend. I've been looking at my past entries and it hasn't been any different for years. I make too much money to be in this situation. I still want more however and I need to apply to teach online for the University of Phoenix. Just teaching one class pays 1200 a month. When I quit this job I also want to teach online for Stevens-Henager College. I won't teach more than 2 classes a module. That'll give me an extra couple thousand dollars a month to play with along with my full time job.

I should be grateful my family ISN'T helping me. I think knowing they are always there to help me hasn't served me well. I've curbed my spending in a lot of areas BUT I haven't in a lot too. Logan has helped me in more than one way. This is something I've had a problem with for years. I should have a savings account with more than the minimum in it. I haven't specifically prayed for help with this. I need to do that.

I didn't get up on time and I was freaking out about how long it would take me to walk here. It took about 20-30 minutes. I could have cooked something but I didn't know that for sure.

I read my scriptures and a conference talk yesterday but I didn't write about it. OF COURSE I did. When my life is crazy I NEED that.

2 Nephi 10
 21 But great are the promises of the Lord unto them who are upon the ^aisles of the sea; wherefore as it says isles, there must needs be more than this, and they are inhabited also by our brethren.
I like that ISLANDS are mentioned AT ALL in the scriptures. I do feel the islands are extremely blessed and that I've been blessed. Yesterday in church our Sunday School teacher asked us to think about our 5 greatest possessions. I thought I don't have any. I appreciate my car now that I'm not using it but even if I was driving the silver Mercedes SUV I should be driving, it's still just a car. There is nothing physical I NEED. I love shopping and I love clothes and I have a lot of them BUT I can start over again if I need to do that. I like diamonds and all sorts of material things BUT I think living in Tonga when I was younger showed me how temporary all that stuff is in this life. I love my family and I am grateful for so many blessings BUT none of the things I appreciate are material things. OK, maybe not. I appreciate my townhouse. I'm glad I don't have a roommate. My next and LAST roommate will be my husband. That is probably going to be the hardest part of marriage for me. People are messy and that drives me insane!!! I NEVER feel good until everything's clean.

2 Nephi 11 
2 And now I, Nephi, write ^amore of the words of ^bIsaiah, for my soul delighteth in his words. For I will liken his words unto my people, and I will send them forth unto all my children, for he verily ^csaw my ^dRedeemer, even as I have seen him.
6 And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that ^asave Christ should come all men must perish.
I get how his soul delights in the words of Isaiah. I think his soul in verse 6 delights in missionary work. That is sooo NOT hard for me to get too. There is NOTHING I've ever enjoyed more. I lived on VERY little on my mission. Why didn't I learn then???!!!

The Gospel to All the World - John B. Dixon

Our physical bodies make possible a breadth, a depth, and an intensity of experience that simply could not be obtained in our premortal existence.