Urban Poly Princess

Weird I went to bed a little irritated and ticked but sometime this morning I felt REALLY good and that I need to quit tripping. As I went to bed I was reviewing some very NEGATIVE ANNOYING THINGS about my friend and those are the last thoughts I had as I drifted off to sleep. Somehow my attitude changed big time during the night or the morning. That was so strange I actually woke up for a second, felt really good then went to sleep again.

I had a VERY short fuse with Jen at choir. She got on my nerves sooo much when we went to conference in SLC. I can handle Carline a lot better. She kept wanting me to post a specific picture she took with my camera. I told her whatever was posted was it BUT she wouldn't shut the hell up. I FINALLY said I'd look JUST for her to QUIT asking me. I was already annoyed because Jenny UHarriet wasn't there which meant I'd have to follow along with this other Jen who always messes up even if she is a music graduate. I was fasting so my throat and mouth were dry AND I couldn't sing anything. This strange sound came out instead so I had to leave, break my fast and get a drink of water. Sooo Jen is annoying me and just the world is annoying me and the guys who ALWAYS talk amongst themselves hit a nerve and I snapped and bit their heads off. VERY uncalled for AND they really weren't the source of my irritation. They were just ONE MORE THING!!!

Tonight is dodge ball for the entire ward along with board games I think on the stage. I'm really going to miss my friend this summer. Stupid because it's not like we do anything together. I could care less what he looks like right now. It makes me think it's silly to want someone fine because when I get to know someone it doesn't matter later. Initially however it does matter a lot to me. I NEVER would've gotten to know him better if I couldn't stand the way he looks.

I didn't read my scriptures yesterday AND I didn't read them first when I got up this morning. Time to remedy that!!!

2 Nephi 4
5 But behold, my sons and my daughters, I cannot go down to my grave save I should leave a blessing upon you; for behold, I know that if ye are brought up in the way ye should go ye will not depart from it.

15 And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.

16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
3 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.
This is one of the most beautiful sections of the Book of Mormon. It is also one of my favorites. I looove it. Someone dubbed it appropriately Nephi's Psalm.

I just learned it's just that time of the month so I was just hormonal!!! I was trying to figure out why I was in a B mode yesterday. There has to be a better way.

Yesterday Nikki asked me to share my testimony on the RS Declaration on video. This was NOT the first time I've filmed something on camera. I was a broadcast journalism major. Despite that I screwed it up big time. I couldn't keep my thoughts in check although I had the first part of the RS declaration memorized which I couldn't recall for anything. It sucked big time and I'm used to getting on-camera compliments NOT produce something inferior. I told John to edit liberally.

We Are Daughters of Our Heavenly Father - Elaine S. DaltonIn every country and on every continent, I have met confident, articulate young women, filled with light, refined by hard work and trial, possessing pure and simple faith. They are virtuous. They are covenant keepers who “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places.” They know who they are and that they have a significant role to play in building the kingdom of God.

I love the Relief Society Declaration!!!


We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction. As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar. We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:

Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.
Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.
Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.
Delight in service and good works.
Love life and learning.
Stand for truth and righteousness.
Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.
Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny, and strive for exaltation.

I think the order is significant. First our identity is recognized. We aren't just daughters of God, we are BELOVED daughters of God who live lives filled with meaning, purpose and direction. We are a world-wide sisterhood and each one of us are dedicated to Jesus Christ. Faith, virtue, vision, and charity. These are listed in order of importance too!

My favorite quote!!!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Note: This inspiring quote is taken from Marianne Williamson's book A Return to Love. Though often quoted as part of Nelson Mandela's moving inaugural speech, "Our Deepest Fear" does not appear in the speech. Marianne Williamson herself has commented on this mistaken attribution.

Both of these are inspiring to me which is why I love them both!!!