Sunday, September 1, 2013

Fast Sunday

Posted by 2DI4 at 11:44 AM


I didn't start my fast last night like I should've. Instead I began it this morning. NOT a full 24-hour fast like I should. My cookies taste great although I only had 2 cups of oatmeal left so I made half a recipe.  I read from Les Brown's book right when I got up. I admire his tenacity. I agree with him that tenacity will propel you further than anything else. Talent and genius is fabulous but real growth comes from unrelenting pursuit of your dreams.
My dreams are constant improvement in directed areas of my life. I want excellence in my spiritual life first including having a family or be working towards that now like actively dating someone. I am grateful I finally got permission to date Justin if I want. I just want him to embrace the gospel for himself. I do feel he's doing that and while I try to fellowship him I want this to come from multiple sources, not just from me. Although he's white he's from Southern California which means he's been exposed to multiple cultures and races. Much more than than any other state in my opinion. 

 He's worked in Hawaii and he knows about a lot of local food, customs and culture. More importantly he has that spiritual glow that surrounds him. He is kind and a gentleman. He offered to take my trash out when I had his discussion at my apartment. He said it wasn't something a lady should do. I REALLY like that and he's not even Poly. I do take out my own trash, but it is nice to know he likes doing stuff like that. No one had to tell him to do that, he offered to help on his own. Poly boys are raised to do that naturally. They get offended if any girl tries to do that when he's around.

 Sometimes I feel bad because my culture and the way I was raised has made it so I expect that to happen. It always surprises me when it doesn't and I try not to expect that from all men BUT I can't help it sometimes.

 Ether 7

 4 And when Corihor was thirty and two years old he rebelled against his father, and went over and dwelt in the land of Nehor; and he begat sons and daughters, and they became exceedingly fair; wherefore Corihor drew away many people after him.
26 And because the people did repent of their iniquities and idolatries the Lord did spare them, and they began to prosper again in the land. And it came to pass that Shule abegat sons and daughters in his old age.
 27 And there were no more wars in the days of Shule; and he remembered the great things that the Lord had done for his fathers in bringing them aacross the great deep into the promised land; wherefore he did execute judgment in righteousness all his days.
It is amazing what people will do for a pretty face. Corihor draws away many people just because his posterity is extremely attractive. I'm not immune to this either and I know when I look good people do a lot of things for me just because of that. If Justin wasn't attractive I wouldn't be interested in getting to know him better at all and I wouldn't have discovered what I have about him. But the reason why I like people who are good-looking goes beyond just that. They usually have confidence. I don't like men who like me primarily because they like the way I look. Men that will do anything for me just based on this irritate me completely. If someone doesn't care about my other qualities, which are stellar, it ticks me off.
I don't mind if it is what motivates someone to get to know me better BUT if they like me too much without getting to know me at all it is very annoying. I want to get to know Justin right now. I like what I do know about him but I don't have any feelings for him. That only comes with time. There is no substitute for that. I am excited for him to join the church. I don't want him to feel however that because I have fellowshipped him that he needs to pay me special attention. 
I am happy to just be his friend. If something more can come from that I like it, but I want him to know he has choices and if and when he is directed or is just interested in getting to know someone else that is fine with me too. Right now he is goodness personified and I know he will be blessed. Heavenly Father has been in his life for a long time and the timing of when he decided to take the discussions is no accident. I am grateful to have been able to sit in on a couple of these and to be his friend.  
Your Sacred Duty to Minister - David L. Beck
I've read these talks so many times that it only takes a few words from the beginning for me to recognize them. This is the Chy story and the football boys who make her feel so loved. I think about Jen when I hear this story BUT I think there is a significant difference. Jen is not ostracized the way Chy was. I don't like clingy people in general whether they are men or women. I think it's easier for me to just avoid them completely so I'm not rude to them. I should be able to deal with them without going there. I don't have to be someone's best friend to be cordial. I can quit avoiding people and just be kind. But I think it's kinder just to avoid them.
I think of how I want to improve and I am grateful that despite my many shortcoming I am still given countless opportunities to grow and become a better person, to develop my abilities so I can serve my father in heaven more. That is fun, that is joy to me. Still I trust in what I have been told. I know I can have the greatest joy through having a family and I look forward to that time with excitement!!!

 

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