Urban Poly Princess

Today we had 4 couples who used to be in the ward who are now married share their stories with us. It was great to hear their experiences. They all shared how they strove to be at their spiritual peak before and during their engagements. One woman shared how it was fine that her engagement was so quick because she was older so she already had her identity.

I heard them talk about doubts they had and then realizations too. Friendship is essential but then I've always believed that. I am grateful for whatever my brief interaction with annoying did. I have no doubt he is who I should be with but I still have no indication of that happening whatsoever. That certainly doesn't mean my or his happiness is dependent on that because that would frustrate the entire plan of salvation and free agency which is so very sacred. I know I can find happiness with someone else and I will actively try to do that soon. Not that I care about annoying any less, I care about him very much BUUUT as strong as those feelings are, reality is nothing is happening there and there is nothing I can think of doing that will change that now. Maybe something will change but then maybe not too. One thing I did like hearing is what one of the girls said which was basically Heavenly Father can orchestrate events any way he wants at the proper time which may not be what we want.

I am grateful I met Steve because there are so many things I like about him that I didn't see at first. I know there are many more LDS men out there who with I could build a happy life together. There are other men with solid testimonies and other attractive characteristics. The divine stamp of approval however is hard to beat. I will always go with that over anything else no matter how painful it might be.

It is fun and I am excited to check out some of these other wards and activities. One woman talked about how she moved here when she didn't want to do that. My mother FINALLY accepts that I received an answer to my prayer about where I should be. I told her Heavenly Father told me specifically it didn't matter where I went and that I could build his kingdom wherever I wanted to do that. She said I said initially that Heavenly Father told me it was up to me. YES that's what I said!!! She got off on her dream saying she saw grandma Hotaia who told her I would find my husband if I went somewhere else. She has changed her tune now. She keeps forgetting these instances and then she wonders why I don't hang on her every word when she tells me she had a warning for me.

Another thing bishop said in my blessing that was very significant to me is he told me God will specifically interrupt my life to bring to pass his will and that I will know when he is doing that. Getting fired over nothing substantial was an extremely dramatic interruption and I know exactly why that happened. I'm sure there is more. I don't doubt that. I wonder if that's why I was told I could date Steve but I couldn't marry him. I was going to marry him anyway, I know that. He had to be the one to walk away. I wonder if he was told the same thing. He is so naive about so many things. His faults however are not important. They are minor things that would cause friction but nothing we couldn't work out. I may have had to convince myself to go there in the first place but I was alright with that. He has a solid testimony, faith and actively lives the gospel. It is the most important thing to him and that's obvious.