Urban Poly Princess

I went to our FHE which was the Utah Symphony at the Gallivan Center. I love classical music. They played Beethoven first which made me think of how I used to work out to classical music on my mission. I used to usher the symphony, opera and musicals at abravanel hall, the rose wagner performing arts center and the capital theatre. On the way to the concert I was trying to figure out why I was tripping about annoying and his proclivity to violence. I've never actually seen him get violent although I have seen him lose his temper many times over nothing. To be fair I lose my temper quickly too.

He gets along really well with Bro. Bevan. He drove me and others to the corn maze. There was some other older couple who rode with us. They got lost in the maze and we ended up waiting over 1/2 an hour for them. I know he was angry but there are ways to get your message across without being an asshole and that is the only way I can describe his behavior to the couple. He should not have done that and certainly not in front of us. People are imperfect and are going to disappoint us again and again. That is part of life and as frustrating as it is we need to learn to roll with the punches. It was a horrible example to give us who were his ward members. That is one of the first experiences I had with a member of this bishopric. It was the first activity I attended in the ward.

Once we had one of those dinners at Pizza Pie Cafe and I was trying to text him and at least preserve our friendship. I was joking with him but somehow he missed that and he got all bent out of shape over nothing. Finally it got so bad I had to call him to try to clear it up but it just got worse. He told me I didn't know him and not to get him mad, it felt like he was saying if I kept teasing him which was what I was trying to do while he just kept getting more and more upset. It felt like he was threatening me that he might do something violent if I didn't tell him what he wanted. That was really freaky. I was really scared of him that night and sad we couldn't communicate normally. I don't want that.

That is not the person I want or the behavior I want. Why would my father in heaven lead me there with all of this? I have to be wrong and I hope I am wrong. Someone with so much going for them certainly shouldn't be perfect but it is ironic that with all the huge Poly men I've dated I'd only ever been scared of one who isn't Poly and looks white although he's only half. I was watching this reality show the MDs of Vanderbilt. There is a surgeon on the show who is brilliant but a jerk. He's the one I was attracted to even with the other two male doctors who were kind and just as good-looking and brilliant. Is there something wrong with me that this is what I gravitate to?