Urban Poly Princess

I wish they would hurry up and tell me my schedule's changed. I NEED a social life now. Saturday we had our late memorial celebration. I loved Alisa's BBQ chicken. She had a lot of ginger and sesame oil and it was the bomb. I FINALLY got my hair cut at Lunatic Fringe with my friend from my mission ages ago Nick Makihele. I am pretty sure he's gay although I haven't come out and asked him. He blunt cut my bangs and cut a lot of the length off.

He was telling me he has always liked hiking and even did it in Sacramento. I told him I don't do that. He said he goes hiking on Sundays and that he'd take me. I had to take him up on his offer. I don't know how else to be a friend to him or fellowship him or anything. How do you fellowship an RM who is gay now? He is still the best hair person who's ever touched my hair. He is VEEERY good.

I saw this Tongan girl Moe in the temple. I feel bad because I always avoided her because she always got the hell on my nerves and I used to call her psychotic. Now I really think she is psychotic and my other Tongan friend at church was telling me we should visit her. It's one thing to avoid her because I can't stand her. Now she really is mentally sick. I'm not sure how to help her but I feel I need to do that.

I saw Charney briefly when I went to get my hair cut but I was late so I couldn't chat very long with her. She works at the Marriott now and has stopped Nordstrom. I kept thinking about annoying tonight and even with everything I don't like I still want to try to be his friend again. I just added him on Facebook. I hope we can get past the contention. I feel like there's this huge wall between us and it hurt that he avoided me so completely but even with that and despite that I still want to know how he's doing so I do still care about him. I want to know if he graduated yet and if he's seeing anyone.

I have to try this at least. Heavenly Father has never led me more strongly to anyone else and I don't take that lightly. I am not going to let my pride stop me from exploring this more if there is anything to explore there at all. He has told me point blank he's not interested in me but I've never believed that. I'm not an idiot although it sure feels that way whenever I think about how he made me feel. I have to do this now before I am interested in someone else. I know how great he is even if he hides that very well sometimes.

He does not know how to treat women. I am trying to revive our friendship now before I meet someone who does and I forget to value his testimony, faith and desire to do good. His potential is so huge and I know that. He is like some sort of hidden treasure. His worth is huge but it's not wrapped in a pretty package although he's good-looking, he just doesn't behave well. It can be so off-putting.

I hope he accepts my friend request and I hope I see him again at something. Of course I have to get a new work schedule or that will never happen.